? Save face for others and pave the way for yourself.

Save face for others and pave the way for yourself.

As the saying goes, "a tree needs skin, but a man needs face." This shows that China people attach importance to "face". There may be no big "human feelings" in life, but don't underestimate these "faces" that add up.

Hanwang four years. Han Xin pacified Qi, and Kuai Tong, a native of Qi, knew that the victory or defeat of the world depended on Han Xin, so he said to him, "You are only facing a vassal; You are carrying a rich man, a rich man. At that time, the fate of the two kings, Liu Hexiang, was in your hands. You might as well not help both sides and share the world with them. With your talent, a large number of troops and a powerful state of Qi, the world will definitely be yours in the future. "

Han Xin said, "Hanwang has always been very kind to me. He gave me a ride in his car and gave me clothes and food. I heard that people should be divided into cars, people should be worried about clothes, and service should be served to death. Hanwang and I have deep feelings. How can you betray your faith for personal gain? "

Let's just say that Liu Bang later executed Han Xin, but as far as the world is concerned, Liu Bang was very successful. He could make Han Xin feel guilty when he was betrayed, so he didn't have the heart to do so.

Knowing human feelings is "don't do to others what you don't want them to do to you." If you love face, don't hurt others' face; If you want to respect, you can't help but respect others. "Only state officials are allowed to set fires, and people are not allowed to light lamps", and things like this are not without people.

Xiang Yu is one of them. Although he has the reputation of "overlord", he only has the habit of bullying the weak and fearing the hard, but he has no kingly demeanor. He wanted to be king himself, but his brothers became officials. When it was time to award the title, the title seal was in his hand and the edges and corners were worn out, but he still couldn't bear to award it.

So Xiang Yu lost to Liu Bang instead of to human feelings.

When you have a problem with your friend's behavior, you should also give him face when exhorting him. You always have to say "you have done a good job in so-and-so, with good effect and response", and then you can make a fuss with "yes", "but" and "however". Everyone knows that the words behind these words are what they really want to say, but the words in front must be said, because they are not lies or nonsense, but kind words that create a harmonious atmosphere. Straight language will sweep the other person's face and make the other person dislike you. So euphemism is indispensable. If you can't think well of your friend and save his face, then your friend's face will hang up and you will be embarrassed.

Because everyone has to protect their face, it often happens in social activities. Two people in a dispute often find a third party, such as you to judge and let you give them high marks.

At this time, in order that your friendship will not be hurt, you need to let them settle the dispute. It is better to solve problems than to solve practical problems. At the very least, you should give both sides face, and don't favor one over the other. This is called "circling" and making good use of "circle field", which can harmonize the atmosphere, connect feelings, eliminate misunderstandings, ease contradictions, calm down troubles, and also help to deal with embarrassment, break the deadlock and solve problems. Therefore, "circle field" is a social skill that people must have in interpersonal communication.

Cleverly connect feelings. Look for * * * similarities. If you want to bury the hatchet between two people who are deeply prejudiced against each other, if your relatives suddenly meet someone who has a bad relationship in the past and you are present, if you are temporarily deadlocked as an entourage in a negotiation ... As a third party, what you need to do is to contact the feelings of both parties. Try to find psychological similarities or problems of common interest. Sometimes a famous painting, a photo, a game of chess, a story, a joke, a proverb, an identical or similar experience, or even a glass of wine and a cigarette may become a topic of interest to both sides, and may all become an opportunity for harmonious atmosphere and breaking the deadlock.

It can be seen that giving people enough face is the basis for laying a good network for themselves.