Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - You can make fun of English boldly.
You can make fun of English boldly.
Teacher: Here are two birds, one is a swallow, and the other is a sparrow. Now who can tell us which is which? Teacher: Here are two birds, one is a sparrow. Who can point out which is the swallow and which is the sparrow? )
Student: I can't point it out, but I know the answer. Student: I can't point it out, but I know the answer. )
Teacher: Please tell us. Teacher: Please tell me. )
Student: Sparrows are the best sparrows, sparrows are the best sparrows. Student: The sparrow is next to the swallow, and the swallow is next to the sparrow. )
2. Bunny: Mom, where am I from?
Rabbit: Mom, where am I from?
Mother Rabbit: I'll tell you when you are older.
Mother rabbit: I'll tell you when you grow up.
Bunny: Oh, Mom, please tell me now.
Oh, mom, please tell me now.
Mother Rabbit: If you must know, you were pulled out of the magician's hat.
Mother Rabbit: If you must know, I will tell you that you were dragged out of the magician's hat.
3. Good boy, good boy
Little Robert asked his mother for two sandwich biscuits. (Little Robert asks his mother for two cents. )
"What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?" What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday? )
"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered. ("I gave it to a poor old woman," he replied. )
"You are a good boy," mother said proudly. "Give you two cents. But why are you so interested in that old woman? " ("You are such a good boy," mom said proudly. "Give you two cents. But why are you so interested in that old lady? " )
"She is a candy seller." ("She sells candy." )
4. How much English can you speak? How much English can you speak? )
"Your honor, I want to draw your attention to how unfair it is for my client to be accused of theft. He came to new york a week ago and hardly knew the way around. What's more, he only speaks a few words of English. "
The judge looked at the defendant and asked, "How much English can you speak?"
The defendant looked up and said, "Give me your wallet!"
Chinese translation:
"Mr. Judge, how unfair it is for my client to be accused of stealing. He just came to new york a week ago and hardly knows the way. Besides, he can only speak a few English words. "
The judge looked at the defendant and asked, "How much English can you speak?"
The defendant looked up and said, "Give me your wallet!"
5、
"Tom, what's wrong with your brother?" Asked the mother in the kitchen. "He is crying."
"Oh, nothing, Mom," Tom replied. "I'm eating my cake. He is crying because I don't give it to him at all. "
"But has he finished his cake?"
"yes." Tom said. "When I helped him finish it, he also cried."
Chinese translation:
"Tom, what's wrong with your brother?" Mom asked in the kitchen. "He is crying."
"Never mind, Mom," Tom replied. "I'm eating my cake. He cried because I didn't give him food. "
"Has he finished his own?"
"yes." "I helped him finish eating, and he cried."
6、
A man said to his friend, "Guess how many coins I have in my pocket."
Friends said, "If I guess right, will you give me one?"
The first man said, "if you guess right, I'll give them all to you!" "
Passerby A said to Passerby B, "Guess how many pence I have in my pocket?"
Passerby B said, "I guessed right. Can I have one? "
Passerby A said, "You guessed it, I'll give it to you both!" "
7、
A poor man looked unhappy. He walked into the doctor's office.
"Doctor," he said, "you must help me. I swallowed a penny about a month ago. "
"Jesus, man!" The doctor said. "Why did you wait so long? Why didn't you come to me the day you swallowed it? "
"To tell you the truth, doctor," the poor man replied, "I didn't need money that much then."
Chinese translation:
A poor man who looked miserable walked into the doctor's office.
"Doctor!" He said, "Help me! I swallowed a penny a month ago! "
"Good heavens," said the doctor, "why did you leave so early? Then why don't you come and have a look? "
"To tell you the truth, doctor," said the poor man, "I was not short of money then!"
8. In an entrance examination for a conservatory of music, a teacher asked a boy, "What is the most important physical quality of a musician?"
"Deaf," the boy replied.
"Nonsense!" The teacher said angrily.
"Why, Sir! Don't you know that the famous musician Beethoven is deaf? " The boy asked contemptuously.
Chinese translation:
In an entrance examination for a conservatory of music, the teacher asked one of the boys, "What is the most important physical quality of a musician?"
"Deaf," the boy replied.
"Nonsense!" The teacher said angrily.
"What's the matter, Sir! Don't you know that the famous musician Beethoven is deaf? " The boy asked contemptuously.
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