Can anyone give me some jokes?

A migrant worker had difficulty in defecation and went to the hospital for a checkup. After the examination, the doctor wrote a prescription for the man. When he went to the place where he got the medicine, he saw that it was a roll of toilet paper. He was puzzled. The doctor said: Don’t use cement again in the future. The bag wiped the butt.

A 70-year-old man and a young lady... died of excessive excitement. Her family was dissatisfied and took the young lady to court. The judge asked a medical examiner to conduct an autopsy to find out the cause. The forensic doctor came to the next conclusion after the autopsy: He felt so comfortable!

Two dung beetles were discussing the welfare lottery. A said: If I win the big prize, I will buy all the toilets within a 50-mile radius and eat enough every day! B said: You are too vulgar! If I win the jackpot, I will take care of a living person and eat fresh food every day!

After the bachelor’s wedding night, the bride struggled to hold on to the wall and came out, cursing: “Liar, he said he had thirty years of savings, I thought it was money!”

An old man took the bus to Gaochao Village to do some work. On the way, I asked the waitress: Have you climaxed yet? The waitress said: Not yet. After a while he asked again: Have you reached the climax? The waiter said: What's the hurry, old man? I'll scream when the climax comes!

A young lady ordered a stir-fried firecracker dish during her meal. When she was picking up the food, it accidentally fell between her legs. The young lady was shocked: This thing is really powerful! After it was cooked and chopped, it still knew the way!

A young man saw a beautiful woman on the bus with her collar opened very low, revealing her beauty, and jokingly said: "It's really a place where peach blossoms bloom." After hearing this, the beautiful woman lifted up her skirt and said: "There is still a place where you were born and raised."

My son wants to sleep with his mother every night, and his mother says: When you grow up and get a wife, do you want to sleep with your mother too? The son replied: Yes! Mom said: What should you do with your wife? The son said: Let her sleep with her father. After hearing this, my father said excitedly: This child has been sensible since he was a child!

The rooster went on a business trip for a month. When he came back, he heard that the quails had arrived without incident. The rooster was suspicious. Two days later, the hen laid a quail egg. The rooster was furious. The hen hurriedly explained: It was premature!

The village woman reported the case and said: How embarrassing! I was fucked last night; the police asked her what that guy looked like? I didn't see clearly, but he must be a novice, because he couldn't find a place for a long time, and I helped him in in the end...

The girl returned home in the middle of the night, and was met by seven thugs, and she was in danger At that time, the aunt stepped forward and rescued the girl from being raped; in a radio interview, the aunt said: In fact, she didn’t think about anything at the time. She only thought that this good thing would not come cheap for that little slut!

The head of a poor village introduced the situation of the village: food basically depends on the party, clothing basically depends on spinning, getting rich basically depends on robbing, and getting a wife basically depends on thinking; communication basically depends on shouting, transportation basically depends on walking, and public security basically depends on Dogs, sex life basically depends on your hands!

The butcher was fined 4,000 yuan for visiting a prostitute and issued a receipt. One day, the butcher’s illiterate wife found the receipt. She could only read 4,000 yuan but did not recognize the word "prostitute". She asked the butcher: What is the reason for the 4,000 yuan fine? The butcher replied: I am punished by pouring water into my meat!

A certain man was drunk and accidentally entered the women's restroom to vomit. He happened to be urinating while a woman was urinating. A certain man heard angrily saying: "I told you not to drink. Why?" Are you still pouring it?" The woman stopped suddenly when she heard the sound, but unexpectedly she farted. Jun heard the sound and was furious: "Who the hell opened another bottle?"

The gangsters broke into the house and the QJ woman was resisted. When the husband came back from the fields, he saw his wife being held down by the gangsters. He picked up a shovel and beat him angrily. Then he heard the wife curse: "Damn it, I resisted for a long time, and you got me A shovel was knocked in!”

The unit leader concluded: The reasons why our work is not good are: first, it’s like a widow sleeping with no one on top; second, it’s like a ****, the top is always replaced. People; the third is like sleeping with your wife, you always fuck with your own people.

I was arrested on September 28, 1949. On the first day, the enemy beat me severely, but I couldn’t do anything; on the second day, the enemy poured pepper water on me, but I couldn’t do anything; on the third day, the enemy used a honey trap to trap me. Recruited, I still wanted to recruit on the fourth day, it was so fucking liberating.

A Japanese woman was taking a bath in a sauna and wanted to find a Chinese hunk to give her a massage. The hunk suddenly became aroused and inserted his penis into her vagina. The Japanese woman was furious: What are you doing? live? The macho man said: Rub it inside!

In the evening, a fool went to the park to meet a couple... He loved watching. The next morning, he saw a man doing push-ups and took a closer look. The man was furious: **What are you looking at? The fool said: You are just doing that, what are you still doing when everyone else is gone?

A man found his son wearing a condom on his head after get off work. He scolded his son. The son said aggrievedly: "We will have a show tomorrow. Some will play good guys and some will play bad guys. I asked the teacher what role should I play?" What? The teacher said: You are acting silly.

Two teachers from the history department got married, and they were both married for the second time. After entering the bridal chamber, the woman asked for the first couplet in the first couplet: the night attack on Pearl Harbor, the beauty was frightened (sperm) and the man’s coincidence: two atomic bombs, the Japanese Germany surrendered and criticized: World War II!