Ask for a humorous joke

Hu, an old classmate, called me when he came back from Beijing and asked me to invite some buddies to get together. It's easy to do. Book a restaurant, "climb high and shout", and six or seven people will gather in the restaurant and wait for the old classmates to arrive. It suddenly occurred to me that I forgot to call Liu, so I called him and told him to come to the restaurant quickly.

Liu asks, "Who invited you?" I said, "You will know when you come."

When the old classmates arrived, everyone swarmed and shook hands, shouting "Brother Hu", "Brother Hu" and "Big Hu". Just as he was about to sit down, Liu came, met his old classmates, and quickly stepped forward to shake hands: "Hello, big brother, you have gained weight since I haven't seen you for several years."

The waiter started serving. I pulled Liu aside and reprimanded him, "Your boy is really friendly. Everyone calls him Brother Hu, but you are the eldest brother and become sworn brothers?"

Liu said unjustly, "What a joke! Didn't I forget her last name?"

John is a graduate student in economics who has graduated for many years.

he opened a furniture store, and his business is booming. In order to expand his competitiveness, he is going to introduce a batch of French furniture, and he is going to visit Paris himself.

on his first day in Paris, John consulted several agents. After bargaining, the deal was finally reached. John is going to take a nap in a nearby bar because he is tired from traveling. Several places in a row were so crowded that John managed to find an empty seat. Before the drinks came up, a young girl with a puzzled expression slowly came up to him.

John sensed that the girl wanted to talk to him. So she was allowed to sit beside her. The girl gabbled for a long time, but John couldn't understand a word of French. Similarly, the girl couldn't understand him. Suddenly, an idea came into his mind. He took a napkin and drew a bottle of wine and a question mark on it? The girl nodded and drank heartily with him.

after a while, John realized that it was time for dinner. He brought another piece of paper with a picture of two people having dinner. The girl nodded knowingly and then dragged him to a nearby restaurant for consumption. The girl specially asked the waiter to arrange a quiet corner where she could listen to the accompaniment of the band and watch the songs and dances. As John couldn't read the French menu, he had to ask the girl to order for him.

the food was delicious, and they enjoyed themselves. After a full meal, John took out a tissue and drew two people dancing. The girl nodded again, and accompanied him to the rhythm of music, enjoying the carnival.

at ten o'clock in the middle of the night, the people who eat gradually recede. At this time, the girl took out the paper towel and drew a bed.

then ... to this day, John wondered how she knew she was in the furniture business.

Don't borrow it indiscriminately

The math teacher asked the student Zhao Neng, "How much is 5 minus 9?"

Zhao Neng said, "How can you subtract 9 from 5?"

The teacher said, "When there are not enough places, you should borrow 1 from ten people as 1."

Zhao neng said, "I dare not borrow it. Mother just said yesterday:' borrowing money is a bad thing.'

Law of Multiplication and Distribution

The teacher found that a student's name in the exercise book was Mu (1+2+3).

The teacher asked, "Whose exercise book is this?"

A student stood up and said, "It's mine!"

Teacher: "What's your name?"

student: "Mulinsen!"

Teacher: "Then how did you write your name like this?"

student: "I used the law of multiplication and distribution!

when I teach English to students, I often ask them to write the text silently on the blackboard. So as soon as I take my class, they sit back.

Yesterday afternoon, I went to give an English class to freshmen of Chinese Department. The class lasted for ten minutes before the most naughty path in their class arrived. The seats in the back were all occupied, and I kept staring at the path to see where he was sitting. The path turned around in the classroom without finding a seat, and finally I had to sit in the first row, and it was still the seat facing me at zero distance from the podium.

After talking for a while, I saw that the students below were all listless, and I lost my spirit, so I just sat down to give a lecture. Later, it was too hot, and I took off my shoes. I thought, anyway, there is a lecture table in front of me, and the students can't see it.

Everyone is listless, but it happened that the late path was full of energy, and it was too arrogant to keep talking to the classmates next to me under my nose. So I took out my magic weapon-let the path come up and write the text silently, in order to warn him.

When Xiao Lu heard that he was going to write the text silently, his face turned pale, and he "groaned" for a long time before limping onto the platform. When I saw it, it was wrong. Why did you limp on the path? This was not the case when I entered the classroom just now. Just want to ask him what's going on, I suddenly found that the path was wearing my big leather shoes when I walked onto the podium. I quickly looked under the lecture table, and there was only one leather shoe left, and I didn't know when a big hole was kicked in front of the lecture table.

In my sophomore year, when I was in law class, our law teacher had a hobby of asking questions, and he had to repeat them loudly before asking them. Once when the General Principles of Civil Law was being taught, suddenly the teacher raised his voice and began to ask questions. All the students stared at the teacher in fear for fear of being shouted. Because the teacher asked questions instead of roll call, he looked at the roll call to ask questions, so everyone didn't have to lower their heads.

"No.25, Class 1!" The teacher ordered.

There was silence (Zhang San was in a daze) ...

"25th ... Zhang San! Have you come? " The teacher repeated, brush! The whole classroom looked at Zhang San.

"didn't come!" Zhang San shouted. The whole class is stunned! But I soon began to admire Zhang San's courage.

"why didn't you come?" The teacher asked again.

"He is ill!" Zhang San had no choice but to lie, and the whole class burst into laughter.

"Are you from his dormitory?" The teacher was also confused by the inexplicable laughter.

"yes." Facing the teacher's questioning, Zhang San turned green.

"What a shame! Go back and tell him to come to my office this afternoon!" The whole class laughed again.

"ah? ! Ok. " Zhang San's scalp is starting to tingle. Who can I get scolded for this afternoon? Just Li Si, alas, I have to treat that boy again.

Zhang San was glad to have escaped a question, and the teacher added, "Why don't you answer this question for him?"

"ah! ？” Zhang San stood up reluctantly, and it is conceivable that someone in the classroom has already laughed and hurt his stomach.

"teacher, can you repeat your question?"

"ah! ! I have repeated this question three times. How do you attend classes? "

"Sorry, I didn't catch that!" Zhang San already has sweat on his forehead.

"Well, I'll repeat it ..."

"I, the report teacher, I won't answer this question." Zhang San thought that he was going to die anyway, so why should he die so cowardly? So he confidently got up.

"Well, come to my office with Zhang Sanyi at two o'clock in the afternoon!" All the students laughed until they spurted blood.

From then on, no one in the law class dared to say that so-and-so didn't come.

what is the 1th power of 1 in the final exam?

Xiao Ming took the draft paper and rode it over and over again. When Xiao Ming finally rode the 83rd time, the math teacher came.

Standing behind Xiaoming, I watched him tirelessly and repeatedly calculate 1 times 1. When Xiaoming was successful, he quickly walked to the podium and said, "Students, there is a problem that is wrong. Now correct it. Please change it to the 1 power of 1."

Xiao Ming: "..."

Who wouldn't be messy when such a thing happens!

In the third year of high school, I had to go to self-study late at night, and there was no teacher to watch.

At night, parents always call their classmates. When a male classmate answers the phone, we call, webmaster, webmaster.

As a result, I was scolded by my parents, and the explanation was unclear.

once a female classmate answered a phone call from her parents, a male classmate shouted, put on my pants, and as a result, the female classmate was messy ...

How high is the sun?

A girl in the class is beautiful and sings well.

In the music class yesterday, she sang "Let me tell you gently". "Don't ask me how high the sun is, I'll tell you how deep I am."

everyone laughed wildly, and when she found out, her face was covered with black lines.

After class, many boys ran to ask her, "How high is the sun? How high is the sun? "

I failed this exam

Goddess: "It's over, I failed this exam."

diaosi patted the goddess on the head and said, "Little fool, I knew you couldn't do it. I didn't write the next few big questions, so that we could go to the same school."

three months later, diaosi went to Lan Xiang technical school, and the goddess was sent to Europe by her parents to study!

Mark the location of Diaoyu Island

In the geography exam, there is a question asking to mark the location of Diaoyu Island on the map and write down the sea area to which it belongs.

A student wrote "I don't know where Diaoyu Island is, I only know that it belongs to China" on the test paper.

The teacher was very moved and gave him zero.

The new semester has begun. A classmate stands on the platform and introduces himself. He seems very nervous!

stammered, "Hello, everyone, home. My name is Obama, ah no, my name is Ma Fangming. The horse is ... Obama's horse, and the house is the building. No, no, no, it's the building's house. Ming is a piece with a bright future. Its full name is Malou piece. No, no ... "

A classic scene appeared:" Hey, what's my name again?