A light and humorous joke.

1. Ways to control shopping desire: Take out all the clothes in the closet and fold them 1 time. I folded for three hours, and I was desperate.

When we are still immersed in the sadness that children in kindergarten call us uncles and aunts. Suddenly found that junior high school children began to call us uncles and aunts. Time is a butcher knife!

3. A considerable part of my pleasure in watching the ball comes from: it is rare to see such a group of multimillionaires blushing and running with thick necks and falling down. I really hate rich people, and my mind is dark!

On the way to play, I heard a teacher teaching a kindergarten child: "What is happiness? Happiness is that cats eat fish, dogs eat meat, and Altman hits monsters. " The classmate said, "I'll handle it." What is happiness? Happiness is that cats catch mice, dogs bite cats, and Altman beats puppies. "

Listening to a lecture yesterday, when it was said that people who often eat too much are not easy to live long, she said: people will eat about nine tons of food in their lifetime, and whoever eats first will go first …

6. A young snake went to apply for a job and asked the snake officer, "What should I do if my eyesight is not enough?" The snake officer laughed and said, "Welcome to join the Cobra Army."

7. A big dog viciously rushed to his friend poodle, ready to bite. My friend came out of the room and snorted softly, which scared the dog to stop biting and licked the poodle's hair. Hehe … It used to be said that beating a dog depends on its owner. Now it seems that it is up to the owner to bite the dog …

8. The match lit the cigarette, and the cigarette asked in fear, "Do you know what love is?" The match smiled and said to the cigarette, "That is mutually assured destruction."

9. Song Wu killed the tiger and became a hero. The local TV station went to interview him. Song Wu sighed: "Your local traffic conditions are really bad! There are no buses so early! I was alone at night and almost died! "

10. After burning the forage field, Lin Chong wants to take a taxi to Liangshan. As soon as the driver went to Liangshan, he refused to live or die! Lin Chong said angrily, "If you don't go, I'll sue you for refusing to carry!" The driver replied, "I won't go even if I lose this job!" " "

1 1. The little nurse took my hand and kept rubbing it, trying to warm it up before tying it. Rub, rub the mud on the back of my hand ...

12. Niu Wangmo made a mistake, and his wife Princess Tiefan criticized him endlessly. The Monkey King can't take it anymore. He stepped forward and said, "Sister-in-law, do you still approve cows?" Princess Tiefan was stunned and immediately replied with a smile: "Thank you. Thank you! "

13. Today, in the shopping mall, I chose to see a comb: the tooth density is just right, and it looks very comfortable. Then look at the price. The price tag says: for long-haired dogs. So I put it back silently.

14. Disciple, I didn't expect you to take the Millennium Snow Lotus by mistake. You can increase the practice of jiazi. Come on, let me show it to the teacher.

15. A goose sings in the morning sky every day. Goose doesn't know what it means. She inculcated: live with lofty ideals! I am challenging the sun, and I will lay bigger eggs in the future!

16. At the sports meeting, the rabbit fell behind the tortoise again, and the audience shouted for refueling. The rabbit said disdainfully, don't shout. How much money is there in this game? Give me a reason to run away.

17. I was lying in bed playing with my mobile phone, and suddenly I let go of my hand and dropped my mobile phone. Fortunately, I reacted quickly and rolled aside. It's good. I was not hit by a mobile phone. The mobile phone lay quietly on the pillow, and I lay quietly on the ground. ...

18. I proved last night that the logical thinking and emotional ability of the human brain in dreams are exactly the same as when it is awake. I was ecstatic when I dreamed that I had a ten-year-old fat son. It suddenly occurred to me that my wife and I had only known each other for three years, and when I woke up, I was crying.

19. The pheasant was caught by the fox and was plucking its hair. When the tiger arrived, he kicked the fox away and shouted, "Dare to pick up my girl, go to hell!" " The tiger looked down at the pheasant, naked, with only a few feathers left on his ass. He was frightened. "It's off, I almost let you get it!" " "

20. On Thursday night, one of the questions was: What are the black spots on strawberries? The night watchman replied, Bohr, my mother and I both laughed to death.