Funny quotations written in WeChat signature

1. I have lived for more than 20 years and have never done anything for my country and people. Every time I think about it, my heart aches.

2. Think about the salary, forget it, and don't want to live.

The so-called simplicity, angels with wings, idiots without wings.

4. It is better to cook than to mix, not to be second and not to be arrogant.

Life is like anxiety, without accurate lyrics, it is thrilling.

6. Get up earlier than chickens, sleep later than cats, and earn less hair than baldies.

7. Play a little mahjong and have a spicy meal. Find a small object, life is like this.

8. If people don't attack me, I won't attack; If people offend me, comity three points; If people force me again, I'll give you an injection; People still attack me and kill the grass.

9. I never hold grudges, but I usually report them on the spot.

10. Everyone was born. Unfortunately, many people gradually became pirates.

1 1. One day I went shopping without glasses and saw a very handsome and familiar person. I want to go and see who it is. It turned out to be a mirror.

12. Commitment is like a woman saying that she wants to lose weight, but it is difficult to do it when she often says it. Everything is false.

13. People always want ghosts and gods to know when they do good things, but they always think ghosts and gods don't know when they do bad things. We are too embarrassed.

14. Don't reveal your wound to others. There are not many doctors in the world, but many people sprinkle salt.

15. Our boss is a little monster, and we are Altman. But we ran away when we met the boss, because we didn't bring the summoner.

16. If you give me a smile, I will give you a smile. Not a kind greeting, just want you to know that I look better when I smile.

17. After several decades, we met again and sent them to the crematorium. All of them were burned to ashes, one for you and one for me. Nobody knew each other, and all of them were sent to the countryside to make fertilizer.

18. Go straight to the point and don't challenge my blacklist with your ignorance.

19. Q: What do you like about me? A: I like you to stay away from me!

20. I only trust two people in this world, one is me and the other is not you.

2 1. Ducks are too arrogant and rabbits are too talkative. I'm a pig. I'm fine.

22. Smoke rises in Rizhao Luxiang. When Li Bai came to the roast duck restaurant, his mouth was watering outside thousands of feet and he had no money in his pocket.

23. I never write typos, but I write generic words.

24. Help if you have difficulties, and help if you don't create difficulties. In the face of beauty, it is revised as: there is danger to save, and no danger can create danger.

25. If it is a mistake to have money, I would rather make the same mistake again.

26. You are young, but you carry a lot of weight. The balance is not much, but I want to buy a lot.

27. Don't say that the world has abandoned you, and the world has no time to talk to you.

28. When there is a legend in the Jianghu, I am sorry for the audience.

29. I want to make a download software called earmuffs. Because lightning is inaudible.

30. When I love you, you are what you say. What do you say you are when I don't love you?

3 1. The weather is as hot as a joke and the days are like nonsense.

32. Someone actually wears blue eye shadow, which is an insult to my dark circles!

There is no doubt that I am the poor man in your dream.

When I am completely full, ordinary young people will complain that I am full and empty, while eating will give me a rest.

35. I made a mistake at the first stroke and had to scribble all the way.

You see, there are always so many things that make you sad: rain or shine, joys and sorrows, impotence and premature ejaculation ...

37. Love is poison. The icing is amazing. Take a sip and stop. If you drink it, you will lose your life.

38. Don't be too confident in yourself. There are more people who can take care of you than you think.

39. For girls, gaining a few pounds is not so terrible. What is terrible is that the bitch in the boudoir has lost weight again.

40. Sometimes I feel ugly. When I took out my ID card, I found that I was too worried.

4 1. Life is like an angry bird. There are always a few pigs laughing when they fail.

42. If you wear fashion, it is not mainstream. Dress sexy and you can sit on the stage.

43. My progress made him sit up and take notice, and since then he has lost his eyes.

44. I said I liked Li Bai's poems better. Lu You got angry, and then my family couldn't surf the Internet.

I licked my finger and cried.

46. The teacher's teaching impressed Xiao Ming deeply, so the next day, he had a pair of false teeth.

47. Everything will be solved eventually, even if it is torn down and sold in the end.

48. In this low-key world, I have to use high-key to cover myself up.

49. Not all actors can act, but grandson can pretend.

50. Everything has a price, and the price of happiness is pain.

5 1. I have a small mind, but I don't lack it. I have a good temper, but not without it!

52. You'd better let me kneel on the washboard. Kneeling on the electric heater is really unbearable!

53. Women like two kinds of flowers best in life: one is to spend money, and the other is to spend as much as possible!

54. Two love birds, a pair of poor butterflies.

I won't bend over when money falls from the sky, because even pies won't fall from the sky, let alone money.

56. Everyone has a dark side. If you say you are simple, I can only say that you are not human!

57. Sometimes, everything is false except that the lies are true!

58. Yuanyang played with water and all his mother drowned; Fly with me, you fucking fell dead!

59. A star can become more famous by taking off a little, but I got caught taking off everything!

60. Ambiguous is that I borrowed money from you, but you didn't say it was good, only that your husband was not at home. ...

6 1. As the saying goes, if you laugh, the whole world laughs with you. You cried. You are the only one crying in the world.

When I see a beautiful woman, I will first touch my pocket to see if I have any money!

63. I will be friends with whoever says I am white, thin and beautiful.

Please don't disturb while taking a bath. Please buy tickets for voyeurism, 40 for individuals and 20 for groups!

65. Teacher, wait, I will let the Buddha marry you!

66. I'm so pure, I'm a little shameless!

67. If the exam rewards QB, then the country will become rich and strong immediately.

68. The weather is fine today. I stayed indoors for a long time and am going to play in the living room.

69. Question: Why is the summer vacation necessarily longer than the winter vacation? Answer: Because it expands with heat and contracts with cold.

70. When you are in a bad mood, make harassing calls to others in the middle of the night, wake others up and go to bed.

7 1. The iron pestle can be ground into a needle, and the wooden pestle can only be ground into a toothpick. The material is wrong, and it's no use trying again.

72. It is said that women are like clothes and brothers are like brothers. Looking back, I actually streaked in Too Many Cooks for 20 years!

73. I am not a casual person. I am not a casual person.

Thanks to being a fat man, he can pinch his stomach when he is sad.

75. People who say I don't need to lose weight are all bad people.

76. I won't go to a men's clothing store to find a dress that suits me.

77. I was going to thin into a lightning bolt this year to light up your eyes, but I didn't want to become a nut wall and block your sight.

78. When traveling romantically, you won't smooth the back belt of your boyfriend's bicycle.

79. Go shopping with your boyfriend in summer, and he won't always want to walk in the shade behind you.

80. People who come face to face turn around because of appreciation, not out of curiosity.

8 1. How much cosmetics can you save by losing a small face?

82. It's easy to get crowded by bus and subway.

You know, it's a shame to tell the salesgirl if there are any extra-large clothes. But the clothes here are too fat, but you can safely say.

84. Even the King of Tonga ordered the nation to lose weight.

85. Genetics tells us calmly that cross-species love is doomed to have no good result.

86. Old Moon! Can you not marry me with the inferior red rope from the cottage? From time to time.

87. He Wenxuan once said to Li Qingyuan: The reason why you are not gay is that you haven't met a man who makes your heart beat.

Bah! My ears tingle. Is that what you want to tell me?

89. I can't lengthen the length of life, but I can expand the width of life. You only look thin when I am fat, lest I look ugly when I am thin.

90. The only two things I can do in my study career are watching the results of academic shows and watching couples show their love.

9 1. China is rich in population resources. But why can't so many men get married? Is it because of the shackles of feudal thought that the proportion and number of men and women have been disrupted, or because of the retrogression of society, polygamy has begun again?

92. I really want to be an animal when I am impulsive, even if it is just a hardworking animal. Listen to your master's orders and don't feel helpless. Or simply take grafting and have a thorough sex-change operation. Run to the crowd to make up for mistakes and let compatriots have another way out.

93. Singles Day is coming, birds are in love, ants live together, flies are pregnant, mosquitoes miscarry, butterflies divorce, caterpillars remarry, and frogs have children. What are you waiting for?

94. Matchmaking agencies are all over the streets. I also fantasized that they could help me open up sales. However, in the end, I understand what it means to recognize a thief as a father, and I have been squeezed by my married partner for several years.

95. Many people searched for her and set foot on the road. Suddenly looking back and looking around, there are countless uncles and aunts. Occasionally, beautiful women patronize, or married women, and most of the rest are basically ugly.

96. An old lady has been squatting in a jar for a long time. Let her get some air.

97. My future is not a dream, but a nightmare.

98. A temporary impulse is a crisis for future generations!

99. A fiery heart can change a result. Money can change this result at will.

100. If you have money, you have no home. If you have no money, worship God.