Humorous jokes, hilarious text messages

Humorous jokes, hilarious text messages

1, devil: "I heard that your North Korean flag stole China gossip."

Bonzi: "That's better than you, too. The national flag is like a used sanitary napkin. "

I majored in accounting when I was in college, and I majored in accounting principles when I was a freshman. A classmate failed in the mid-term exam and made many low-level mistakes. The professional teacher was angry and scolded: "You have done such a simple question wrong, and you can still call you an asshole". Later, that classmate's nickname was changed to "asshole".

My sister walks around in a corset. At last she couldn't help it and said, "Is it nice?" "Good-looking." "Do you like it?" "I don't like it." "Why?" My sister's eyebrows are standing on end. "It's too much trouble to take it off."

4, strange men and women live in the same room, there is nothing to say that night. In the morning, a woman's silk scarf was blown to the tree by the wind. The man tried to climb the tree to get the silk scarf and give it to the woman. Unexpectedly, the woman slapped her face heavily and scolded, "Idiot, the tree climbs so high and the bed is so low that you can't climb it."

After the date, the man said to the woman, "The two in front of you are too small." The woman said loudly, "Go to hell and find a cow."

6. After liberation, the production team held a meeting to talk about hardships. The female captain first took the stage to speak: "In the evil old society, we women were oppressed by three mountains and men used us as mattresses. Now, we women have turned over and want to treat men as quilts. "

7. Xiao Zhang was fired by the boss. Xiao Wang asked him why, and he replied, "There are two reasons. The boss says I can't do anything serious, and the boss says I can't do anything indecent! ! ! "

8. One day when I was shopping, I heard two pl little mm talking next to me. One of them suddenly said "the chrysanthemum itches", which made me angry. Just as my brother cast an adoring look, another mm said, "The mimosa I planted is also quite easy to raise." At that time, all the cows in my brother were full of faces.

9. Love is like shit. Once the water is washed, it will never come back. Love is like shit, it's the same every time, but it's different; Love is like shit, sometimes it's just a fart if you work hard for a long time. ...

10, an impressionist painter was stolen and the police came to his house. The painter drew a portrait of a thief for the police, and the police looked for it according to the portrait. The next day, the police came to the painter's house and said to him, according to your portrait, we found a bike and two buckets.

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