What’s so difficult about “difficulty in choosing”?

There are very few times in life when you really have no choice.

For example, in the movie "Tangshan Earthquake", the mother played by Xu Fan faces difficult life exams. The beams collapsed, one side crushing the son and the other crushing the daughter. Only one person could be saved.

You can save your son, but you can’t save your daughter; you can save your daughter, but you can’t save your son. And you must make a decision immediately, otherwise, both children will not be saved.

This choice is too difficult. This is not our usual joke. Your mother and your wife fell into the water. Who do you save first?

This is a realistic choice. Although there are different options in front of you, there is no right to choose.

Ma Weiwei made this statement about choice in "Qi Pa Shuo". We say we should give more choices in life, but do you know what choice is? One is good and the other is bad. That’s not a choice. It’s stupid to choose the bad one. Both are good, so don’t be afraid to choose. Whichever you choose will be fun.

What is the most difficult choice in life? It’s just that both options are bad. At this time, we choose which one we can bear the consequences of.

Only dilemmas are real choices. No matter which one you choose, it will be painful and heartbreaking. This is the real life.

"To be or not to be that is a question" is survival or destruction, this is Hamlet's inner torture.

To save her son or to save her daughter, this is the inner torture of the mother played by Xu Fan. Because of this torture, her heart was beaten, ravaged, and torn apart.

This choice is really too difficult. Fortunately, our lives are not acting, and we rarely encounter such ultimate problems. But I found that many people in life particularly like to think of themselves as actors. Especially like to put themselves in dilemma situations.

Xiaolai once said in a column that the so-called difficulty in choosing is, to put it bluntly, the syndrome of not thinking clearly. If you think about it clearly, how difficult can the choice itself be?

I want to say, have you really not thought clearly? It is actually not difficult to think about the consequences of each choice. What really traps everyone is not their ability to think, but a deep worry coming from their hearts.

If they choose to take the postgraduate entrance examination, many people are worried that they will make less money and accumulate less work experience in the past three years. More importantly, they are afraid that those students who have taken part in the work have been promoted to small supervisors in the department. , after you graduate from graduate school, you may even go to other departments for interviews.

If you choose to work, will your future promotions and salary increases be linked to your academic qualifications?

If the stock is in a deep position and sold now, will it rise in the future? If the stock is rising slightly now, will it rise sharply in the future? In short, if you don’t sell on that peak, you won’t be willing to do anything.

……

There is a natural balance in everyone’s world, with vested interests on the left and ideal desires on the right. We are too afraid of missing out, too afraid of participating in the process without getting the results we want.

Every moment of tilting and swaying in the choice is written with an out-and-out dilemma.

I was in a dilemma last year. At that time, I participated in many blockchain projects, nearly 20 at most. If you hear some rumors, you will place a small bet, and eventually make yourself exhausted.

In July last year, I figured out this problem and changed all categories to USDT. Afterwards, everyone knew the result, and many projects fell on their toes.

I have no intention of rejoicing here. Is it possible that when you see someone else's toes, you rejoice that you are cut in half? What's the difference between that and laughing at a hundred steps at fifty steps?

Also, what if it rises later? Then you won't become a fool.

What I want to say is that it has nothing to do with falling or rising.

The key to choice is not to choose the right one, but to be right!

If you can be firm in your choice and be loyal to your choice, this is what will make you happy.

Also, it is much better to have a clear direction and choose a goal, even if you choose the wrong one, than to be half-hearted.

The reason why many people are entangled is because it is clearly written in their brains "I want to... but also want to...". What is that if it's not greed?

Many choices are made by oneself. If you don't get results, how can it be difficult for you? !

Last night I watched "Let's Talk" with Cancan. The guest speaker was Yan Ning, a biologist and professor at Tsinghua University School of Medicine. I was instantly attracted by this straightforward and sharp scientist.

In 2014, 37-year-old Yan Ning published a heavyweight article in "Nature". She led the team and spent 6 months to overcome 50 years of unsolved scientific problems in the field of membrane protein research. .

But what’s interesting is that people care about her appearance and her singleness, more so than her achievements. After all, in the eyes of many people, as a woman, even without worldly perfection, she still has a life with shortcomings.

I like her attitude: "If I don't get married, I don't owe anyone an explanation."

It is we who have blackened strong women who do not get married, saying that they are " "Exterminating the Master". But when Yan Ning is quick-thinking, humorous, and conveys her confidence and calmness with peaceful expressions and words, I can feel her love for work and her happiness on the other side of the screen.

People who are not truly obsessed with a career may not understand the feeling of being fully immersed in it, entering a state of flow, and feeling transcendent.

We may have been brainwashed by the pictures in advertisements and brochures, thinking that perfection means luxury cars and houses, an elegant wife, lovely children, and a big dog that can make people happy.

Perfection is never worldly perfection, but being able to follow your heart and do what you really want to do.

Therefore, Yan Ning, who lives according to his own wishes, lives a relaxed and bright life, with the sharpness of wisdom in the corners of his eyes and eyebrows.

Yan Ning also raised such a question during his speech. Why are there so few female scientists in the world? Isn't it their ability?

Soon, Yan Ning asked and answered his own questions. Who is China's first Nobel Prize winner in science? Butcher grandma.

During the five years that Yan Ning has been in charge of life science admissions, she said that girls performed very well during interviews, whether in terms of knowledge, expression or style. But in the future, when they are going to become postdocs and start independent scientific research work, you will find that female scientists suddenly disappear.

Yan Ning analyzed that in the green years, both boys and girls were free and easy, but as a girl, when she graduated with a doctorate, it happened to be the time for her to start a family, and women also had to get pregnant. Having a child is a disruptive stage in a woman's career.

Therefore, it is more important to ask yourself at this time:

"If you choose to be a full-time mother, or you choose to be a clerical worker, there is no problem. The most important thing is , this is your independent choice after careful consideration. You are not succumbing to family pressure or social pressure. You must be brave, follow your heart, and think carefully about what you want. "

Follow your heart, think independently, and make active choices. You can take responsibility for your choices instead of regretting them.

Yan Ning said that the greatest fairness in life is that each of us is "born toward death."

In life, everyone has the ability to consume. As an animal or creature, everyone has the ability to digest. But what distinguishes each individual?

It is what you leave to this world, and it is your ability to create that makes the difference.

Many people spend most of their lives making money instead of planning a life worth having. Where does a life worth having come from? A life worth having first comes from clearly knowing one's own life. Dreams and missions.

Therefore, before making a choice, truly understanding yourself and knowing what you really want is a lifelong lesson.

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