Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - Think of it as a joke.

Think of it as a joke.

1 four aunts of warlords

A warlord had a fourth aunt who liked to go to the temple to burn incense and worship Buddha. She often runs seven or eight times a month. When the warlord asked, he told him that he only worshipped Buddha for his future and health, and the warlord was relieved. One day, on a whim, the warlord asked Xiao Luzi, the attendant of the fourth aunt, what she did every time she took her wife to the temple.

Little Lu Zi said, "Tell Master that after burning incense and worshiping Buddha, Madam will have dinner with Master in the meditation room of the temple."

The warlord said, "Oh! That must be Su Zhai. "

The little deer said mysteriously, "Tell the master that he still eats meat with four dishes and one soup."

The warlord was stupefied and asked, "What is one soup and four dishes?"

Xiao Lu Zi said, "I once waited too long, so I hid outside the meditation room to eavesdrop because of curiosity. At first, I heard the master shout "a lot of water", and then I heard the sound of drinking soup. Then my wife started calling "Duck" and "Duck". Later, my wife said that the master's chicken was fat and big. After eating the chicken, the master kept calling "burning hooves", as if eating pig's hooves. Then after a while, the master shouted to turn it over, this time obviously eating.

The warlord turned blue with anger, but Xiao Luzi didn't know yet. He continued, "The food cooked by the master is good and full. My wife shouts "Great, Great" every time she eats, gasping for breath and saying that she can't stand it, obviously because she is too full. . . . . "

2 color humor

Some people study hard, so they write couplets in front of their new houses to encourage themselves.

The first part is: sleep in a thatched cottage and close the door.

Bottom line: playing the flute while lying down.

Horizontal criticism: Willing to obey fate

One day, when a friend came to visit, he was curious to see this couplet, so he read it out loud in Sichuan dialect:

"Who fucked my ass?"

"I hurt him,"

"Hey, there are horizontal batches!"

But this time he read backwards: "Ming, Tian, Heavy, Dry!" "

A man just finished his wedding night and went to work with a sigh the next day.

His colleague came over and asked with concern, "What's the matter with you?"

The man replied helplessly, "I habitually gave my wife 100 yuan when I came here this morning."

His colleague said, "God, that's terrible!" "

The man added, "To make matters worse, my wife habitually gave me 20 yuan money."

There was a newly married couple who didn't want to have children, but didn't know how to use contraception, so they asked a doctor for help.

The doctor gave them condoms and the couple went home happily!

Months have passed, and my wife is still pregnant! So the husband was very angry and asked the doctor for a theory!

The doctor asked in wonder, "How to use it?"

The husband said, "I will give my wife two at a time!" " "

I lifted my wife's chin in one hand and jokingly said, "Come on, girl, sing me a song!" " My wife patted my hand: "guest officer, please show some respect, little girl, I only sell my body, not my art!" " "Shocked ~ ~ ~ this hit the gun!

six