Kneel for the complete lines of Jin Ke's Qin Piece in the Spring Festival Evening of 212.

lines of the sketch "Jing Ke Stabs Qin" in the Spring Festival Evening of p>212

Huang Hong-the box lunch delivery-Qin Shihuang

Shao Feng-the deputy director-eunuch

Sha Yi-the director-Jing Ke

Huang Hong: Ahem, ahem ... Happy New Year!

Huang Hong: The box lunch guy. Deliver a box lunch to the cast. This crew is amazing. The historical drama "Jing Ke Stabbed Qin" will definitely look good. I know this history. I think at the beginning, when Qin Gong was in the golden palace, I saw a poor dagger. Then Jing Ke drew a dagger and stabbed Qin Shihuang. Qin Shihuang couldn't dodge around, ready to draw a sword and fight back. But Qin Jian is too long to be drawn, so the minister shouted, Your Majesty, put the sword on your back! Qin Shihuang pulled out his sword and killed Jing Ke. Later, he swept the six countries and unified the whole country! This play ...

Shao Feng: Oh, Dad, what are you yelling about here? It's filming!

Huang Hong: Oh, I said, son, aren't you the assistant director? Why are you still pretending to be one?

Shao Feng: There are not enough extras, so the staff have to gather together ~~

Huang Hong: What's the noise?

Shao Feng: I played the eunuch!

Huang Hong: Oh, my God, it's so similar ... I said, it's time to eat.

Shao Feng: What to eat! Just eat, you! Really ...

Huang Hong: Why? Didn't the shoot go well?

Shao Feng: Alas, the extras who played Qin Shihuang haven't arrived yet. The director said that no one can eat until the emperor's scene is finished!

Huang Hong: Isn't it that the emperor is not in a hurry and the eunuch is in a hurry ... No, I mean, don't be in such a hurry. Why are you in such a hurry? (Huang Hong takes off his coat and covers the box lunch. )

Shao Feng: Hey, hey, Dad, what are you doing?

Huang Hong: It's cold, and the meal will get cold soon! You have to cover it ...

Shao Feng: Go, go, go. You took your old coat. As the actors said, eating your box lunch always smells like a coat.

Huang Hong: Then my coat still smells like a box lunch!

Shao Feng: Yo, just the smell of a box lunch on your old coat is equivalent to wearing perfume!

Huang Hong: Fuck you!

(Shao Feng is kicked down. )

Shao Feng: Yeah! Dad ...

Huang Hong: You know I have a dad! I'm telling you, eunuchs don't have sons, you can't live without fathers! What child is this ...

Shao Feng: Dad, it's my deputy director's responsibility that the extras don't come ...

Huang Hong: I can't stay cold without his actors.

Shao Feng: You ... Oh, look, come on, dad, put this on. (Shao Feng handed me a yellow robe. ) Oh, you said this extra actor is also here. Why hasn't he come yet? Oh, it's really urgent ... (Huang Hong put on his yellow robe. ) hey ~ ~ hehehehehehehehehe ~~

Huang Hong: What's wrong with this?

Shao Feng: Dad ...

Huang Hong: Huh?

Shao Feng: Can you do me a favor?

Huang Hong: What can I do for you?

Shao Feng: Will you help me play the emperor?

Huang Hong: You can forget it! Qin Shihuang?

Shao Feng: Ah!

Huang Hong: I'm a box lunch delivery guy. Can I play Qin Shihuang? Are you kidding? What are you ...

Shao Feng: Why can't you act? In the last play, the old lady who sweeps the floor can play the empress. Why can't you play the first Qin Emperor?

Stop dawdling. Besides, didn't you tell me the historical story of Jing Ke stabbing Qin at an early age?

Huang Hong: I can tell stories, but I can't act!

Shao Feng: Jing Ke is the leading role in our play, and Qin Shihuang is a supporting role. Just three sentences in one play ...

Huang Hong: I can't come with a word, I can't!

Shao Feng: Will you act?

Huang Hong: I, I, I ... I can't play.

Shao Feng: Don't give me a box lunch after the performance!

Huang Hong: What does this have to do with delivering box lunch?

Shao Feng: Of course it does, because I'm the assistant director, so I used you to deliver the box lunch to the crew. Our box lunch costs 12 yuan a box, but I didn't order one with 1 yuan!

Huang Hong: No, I paid 12 yuan for it. Four dishes, one soup and two stupid eggs were newly laid by your mother ... No, they were all newly laid by your mother's chicken ...

Shao Feng: It's useless! The director fired me, so what kind of box lunch did you give me?

Huang Hong: This, this, this, I can't play. Son, I'm ...

Shao Feng: Dad, listen to me. As long as you don't say that you are a box lunch delivery in front of the director, don't say that you are my father. I promise you will pass!

Huang Hong: Ah, I can't say it's your father.

Shao Feng: Yes, in the crew, the director has the final say, and the director is the father!

Shao Feng: Do you remember? Okay, that's it. Qin Shihuang has arrived, your majesty, please!

Huang Hong: Oh, I said I couldn't play ... Ah, ah, ah ... (hide behind Shao Feng. )

Shao Feng: Dad, don't go, don't go ... don't panic, don't panic ...

(The curtain rises, and director Sha Yi is sitting in the dragon chair. )

Sha Yi: Listen up, all departments. I want to reiterate for the last time that no one can eat until the filming of the Emperor's play is finished!

Huang Hong: Gee, the director is really angry.

Shao Feng: Yes, or he is the father.

Huang Hong: Yes, I'm afraid.

Shao Feng: Come on, come with me, hehehehehehe ~ ~ Come on, director, let me introduce you to the actor who plays Qin Shihuang. This is the director.

Huang Hong: Dad.

Sha Yi: Call me what?

Shao Feng: Ah, well, this teacher is playing across the stage. Last time he played his son, he called everyone dad.

Sha Yi: Oh, I'm in the play.

Shao Feng: Yes.

Huang Hong: I'm in the play.

Sha Yi: Have you understood all the plots?

Huang Hong: I see. My son told me everything.

Sha Yi: It's not ... What's your name?

Huang Hong: Ah, no, no, director, I also played dad in another play, so everyone called my son, director.

Sha Yi: Wrist! What about the cross-three drama? Well, have you negotiated the price?

Shao Feng: It's a deal.

Huang Hong: Twelve yuan a box.

Sha Yi: No ... What?

Shao Feng: Twelve dollars a day!

Huang Hong: Ah, yes.

Sha Yi: The price is quite low.

Shao Feng: Yes, the cost.

Sha Yi: Which unit?

Shao Feng: from the provincial drama troupe.

Sha Yi: Oh, save your breath!

Huang Hong: Oh, director, how did you know that I was provincial? Yes, I have retired for several years! Provincial.

Sha Yi: Did you play the emperor?

Huang hong: I ... have I ever played me?

Shao Feng: Yes!

Huang Hong: I forgot ...

Shao Feng: Yes, this teacher has performed many emperor plays. Oh, what about Emperor Kangxi, Emperor Yongzheng, Emperor Qianlong, Emperor Dao Ji ...

Sha Yi: Wait, wait ... Dao Ji?

Huang Hong: It's Jigong, he's not the emperor, he's a monk.

Shao Feng: Yeah, yeah, if you play too much, you'll run away.

Sha Yi: This teacher is very humorous. Listen up, all departments. Our teacher is an old actor. We'll fight for a pass later. Deputy director, tell the actors about scheduling.

Shao Feng: aye aye.

Sha Yi: hurry up and dress up.

Shao Feng: OK, OK, OK.

Sha Yi: I'll play.

Shao Feng: Hey, hey, director, you also play, okay. Ladies in waiting, dress up for the emperor.

maid-in-waiting: promise.

Huang Hong: Wait, wait, wait, wait.

Shao Feng: What's the matter?

Huang Hong: Wait a minute.

Shao Feng: What's the matter?

Huang Hong: Why are there maids?

Shao Feng: Oh, where are the 3, beauties in your harem?

Huang Hong: Do I still have the harem play? !

Shao Feng: What are you thinking? Yes, this is your only scene.

Huang Hong: Then I'm relieved. I'm afraid I'm sorry for your mother.

Shao Feng: All right. Ladies in waiting, dress up for the emperor.

maid-in-waiting: promise.

Huang Hong: Miss, please.

Shao Feng: You pretend, and I'll tell you a play. You play Qin Shihuang, the director plays Jing Ke, and I play eunuch. I'll say the messenger's audience first, and Jing Ke will stand on the stage. You say the first sentence, and you say who will stand next.

Huang Hong: Who's next?

Shao Feng: Jing Ke said that Jing Ke, the envoy of Yan State, visited the King. You said the second sentence, Yan came to surrender, but you were sincere.

Huang Hong: Yan Guo is sincere in coming to surrender.

Shao Feng: Jing Ke said that there is a map of Yan State here. You said the third sentence and asked Jing Ke to submit it.

Huang Hong: Jing Ke, please.

Shao Feng: yeah.

Huang Hong: Yeah.

Shao Feng: Dad, don't tell me, you are really like this costume.

Huang Hong: What does it look like? It smells like a box lunch.

Shao Feng: Dad, did you remember the lines I just said?

Huang Hong: Remember.

Shao Feng: Come on, repeat it. The first sentence.

Huang Hong: Who's next?

Shao Feng: the second sentence.

Huang Hong: Yan Guo is sincere in coming to surrender.

Shao Feng: the third sentence.

Huang Hong: Please ask Jing Ke to present it, yeah.

Shao Feng: No.

Huang Hong: No.

Shao Feng: Do it again.

Huang hong: mm-hmm.

Shao Feng: The first sentence.

Huang Hong: Who's next?

Shao Feng: the second sentence.

Huang Hong: Yan Guo is sincere in coming to surrender.

Shao Feng: the third sentence.

Huang Hong: Please ask Jing Ke to submit it. There is no such thing.

Shao Feng: No.

Huang Hong: No.

Shao Feng: No!

Huang Hong: Is it true or not? !

Shao Feng: Yeah, needless to say!

Huang Hong: Needless to say, you tell me why!

Shao Feng: This, this, this is my fault. This ...

Huang Hong: Aren't you making trouble? This is ... I'm telling you, just three sentences ...

Shao Feng: Ah.

Huang Hong: After that, we have to have dinner.

Shao Feng: Ok, ok, let's eat after the performance. Sit in that dragon chair.

Sha Yi: Attention, all departments. Let's try to get through and prepare-ah, is that ... has the meal arrived?

Huang Hong: Coming, director, here comes the meal, four dishes, one soup and two stupid eggs, all newly laid!

Shao Feng: It's filming!

Huang Hong: (to the maid-in-waiting) Two stupid eggs, both newly laid. Try them later.

Sha Yi: Get ready-

Shao Feng: Please sit down quickly!

Sha Yi: Go!

Shao Feng: the emissary has an audience.

(to the music, Jing Ke stands on the stage. )

Shao Feng: Next.

Huang Hong: Who laid the eggs?

Sha Yi: Stop!

Shao Feng: No, what are you laying?

Huang Hong: Did I say eggs?

Shao Feng: You said eggs!

Sha Yi: It doesn't matter, teacher. Let's pretend that we didn't take the first one.

Huang Hong: Thank you, director.

Sha Yi: Station.

Huang Hong: Stop.

Sha Yi: Remember, stand.

Huang Hong: Stop.

Sha Yi: Again!

Shao Feng: Yes.

Huang Hong: Director, I'm sorry.

Sha Yi: Attention, all departments, try again!

Shao Feng: Station.

Huang Hong: Stop.

Sha Yi: Ready-Go!

Shao Feng: the emissary has an audience.

(to the music, Jing Ke stands on the stage. )

Shao Feng: Station.

Huang Hong: Who lays eggs standing up? Who lays eggs on their knees? Who lays eggs on his stomach ...

Sha Yi: Stop! Teacher, do I look like a chicken?

Huang Hong: Director, you don't look like a chicken, but this posture does look like laying eggs. At first glance, you have raised chickens. You have a life. Just lay eggs on your stomach. If you stand and whisper, the eggs will break ...

Sha Yi: Come here!

Shao Feng: Ah, ah.

Sha Yi: This way!

Shao Feng: Yes, directing ... acting.

Sha Yi: Did you find this?

Shao Feng: Yes, I did.

Sha Yi: Save the words?

Shao Feng: Ah, save the words.

Sha Yi: How much is it a day?

Shao Feng: Twelve dollars a box ... Oh, no, twelve dollars a day! Just a box of lunch money ...

Sha Yi: No, are you kidding me? !

Shao Feng: I'm sorry, director. Do it again.

Sha Yi: Do it again!

Shao Feng: Do it again, and I'll talk to him.

Sha Yi: Attention from all departments ... Oops!

Shao Feng: Oh, that's harsh ...

Sha Yi: One more!

Huang Hong: I said I couldn't come. My mind is full of box lunch, so I can't perform this ...

Shao Feng: Dad, I beg you, don't think about box lunch. As long as you don't think about box lunch, you will be able to perform it well. Don't think about box lunch.

OK ...

Sha Yi: Ready-Go!

Shao Feng: the emissary has an audience.

(to the music, Jing Ke stands on the stage. )

Huang Hong: Who's the next stop?

Sha Yi: Jing Ke, the envoy of Yan State, visited the King.

Huang Hong: Is Yan Guo sincere in coming to surrender?

Sha Yi: There is a map of Yan State here.

Huang hong: ok! As long as Yan surrendered, I can sweep the six countries and unify the whole country!

Shao Feng: Stop!

Sha Yi: ouch!

Shao Feng: You are wrong!

Sha Yi: You are wrong!

Huang Hong: Who is wrong?

Shao Feng: No, he added words indiscriminately!

Sha Yi: What a wonderful addition! It's not to save words. Can you add this word?

Shao Feng: Huh?

Sha Yi: More money, teacher! Two boxes of lunch a day, 24!

Shao Feng: ouch! Congratulations on your price increase!

Huang Hong: I'm telling you, it will get cold if you don't serve my box lunch again ...

Shao Feng: Don't always think about serving box lunch ...

Sha Yi: Teacher, teacher, teacher! In this way, we have passed the previous scene.

Huang Hong: Did you pass?

Sha Yi: Now let me give you a sentence.

Huang hong: ok, ok.

Sha Yi: I said there was a map of Yan State here, and you asked Jing Ke to submit it.

Huang hong: ok.

Sha Yi: Do you understand?

Huang Hong: I see.

Sha Yi: ok. Take this shot, attention of all departments!

Shao Feng: Don't even think about serving a box lunch ...

Sha Yi: Ready-Go!

Sha Yi: There is a map of Yan State here.

Huang Hong: Please bring Jing Ke up.

Shao Feng: You brought Jing Ke, yes!

Huang Hong: Please serve it to Jing Ke when he is ready.

Sha Yi: Stop! Teacher, I see, I'm not a chicken, I'm a box lunch seller! I'll serve it to you after I've filled it, and the play can't be filmed!

Huang Hong: Director, I was wrong, director. I'll direct again. I beg you, director, give me another chance. I'm sure I can say yes. (To the ladies-in-waiting) Would you please type this thing? ...

Shao Feng: Oh, dear ...

Huang Hong: Give it to me, give it to me. Is that where you sit? !

Shao Feng: Will you please act well ...

Huang Hong: Jing Ke, please!

Sha Yi: But that's it.

Huang Hong: OK, it's time for dinner.

Sha Yi: Hey, hey, hey ... Teacher, wait a minute, there are still two sentences, and we'll eat after filming.

Huang Hong: Huh? What else?

Sha Yi: Right?

Shao Feng: Ah, yes.

Huang Hong: No, isn't it just three sentences?

Shao Feng: There are two more sentences, which are particularly simple. The first sentence, ah.

Huang Hong: Ah.

Shao Feng: the second sentence, ah.

Huang Hong: Ah.

Shao Feng: Ah.

Huang Hong: Ah.

Shao Feng: Ah.

Huang Hong: Ah.

Shao Feng: Ah.

Huang Hong: Is this Qin Shihuang or a crow?

Shao Feng: No, no ...