The strongest joke in history (the strongest joke in history)

Calculate the salary increase first and then the pork, and you will find that you are not even as good as a pig!

Second, people will change. I always wanted to get rich, but now I just want to get rich. It doesn't matter if I'm violent or not.

Third, the beauty Qian Qian absolutely. If they can't, we will change. Hanging from a tree is not a hero.

Fourth, everyone is growing, but in different directions. You are growing in the direction of the circle.

I don't even want to set the password of the bank card now. It's tiring to think about protecting two-digit deposits with six figures.

Six, let a dead group live, just need a red envelope. Let a living group die, only need a class teacher.

7. I hated eating and sleeping when I was a child. Now I think how can I be so mean?

Eight, contraceptives are valid for three years, condoms are valid for five years. Many times, love expires before drugs and condoms expire.

Nine, the so-called good man, is not allowed to be cool to his wife, not allowed to make her jealous, must give in when quarreling, and must be beaten!

10. No matter how hard and tired you are, you will think of yourself as two hundred and fifty, and no matter how hard it is, you will think of yourself as two-faced.

Xi。 At that time, I was still young and liked to pretend to be a writer. Now I'm fine. I only like money.

Twelve, people must not treat themselves badly when they are alive. For example, losing weight is too far away from me, or eating a bowl of meat is more practical.

Thirteen, it is normal to find an ideal partner, and you have not become your ideal self, right?

14. Failure is the mother of success. Who is the father of success? Transfer me ten dollars, and you will pay successfully.

Remember to smile all the time, it will make you look like a psycho who can't be provoked casually!

Sixteen, when I was a child, I often wondered: When I grow up, which is better, Tsinghua or Peking University? I don't know until I grow up: I really think too much.

Seventeen, some people say that life is full of rice and oil, some people say that life is a mess, and I am special and have been struggling to survive.

Eighteen, I found a bottle of expired toner at home, and searched it: "The toner is expired, how to use it?" Pop up an answer: "for my husband!" "

Nineteen, it is difficult for many men to choose between finding a beautiful wife, finding a good figure, or finding a good personal product. In fact, there is nothing difficult to choose. How can there be so many good things? It's good to meet someone who likes you.

Twenty, I tell you, the society is different now, and I am getting worse every day.

Only a fat body can bear my heavy soul.

There are many things that you couldn't figure out at that time. Don't worry. When I think about it after a while, I don't remember.

Twenty-three, every morning after I get up, I will silently encourage myself: even you have done such a difficult thing to get up, what can stump you the next day!

Twenty-four, the era of soaring prices, only wages are still calm, and they must remain the same.