Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - Please help me find 20 funny jokes. .

Please help me find 20 funny jokes. .

1. Why is there Tokyo, Nanjing and Beijing in the world but no Xijing?

Ans: Because western classics are more left-handed than Tang Sanzang.

It is said that there was a famous brand store that offered a 10% discount before. A woman went left to sweep the goods and died left after buying Lebanon.

Hey, what's the point?

A: Death.

3. What is the most handsome button on the side of the keyboard?

A: F4

5. Can you learn anything from the wild?

A: The library (library)

6. How to create a tense atmosphere with the same stool in the Sanduang District?

Answer: lamp stool

7.minna no tabo wears red lipstick and estimates a new English word.

Ans: direction (big red lips)

8. When is six minus two equal to zero?

A: When making the six karma gestures.

9. Congratulations on getting rich, and estimate the name of a country.

A: Belgium (Billy is)

10. Amin and Ashan went to rob a bank, but the incident failed and they ran away. But police d didn't catch up with Amin when chasing Guoguo. What's the solution?

Ans: Because of the Himalayas (at least La 'a Mountain).

1 1. One day, a man met God.

God suddenly showed mercy and intended to give someone a wish.

God asked, "What do you want?"

If a man leaves the forest, he hears that cats have nine lives, so he tells God:

"Please give me nine lives."

God said, "Your wish has come true."

One day, if someone is bored,

So I want to die.

There are nine lives anyway, and he is training on the left track.

As a result, a truck drove through Lebanon.

If someone dies, what is the solution?

ANS: Because the fruit train has 10 cars.

12. Two people fall into a trap, and the one who dies is called the dead. What is the name of a living fruit?

ANS: call for help!

13. Liu Bei, Guan Yu and Zhang Fei went to the cinema to see a movie. Then Cao Cao came, but the tickets were sold out. Why did Zhao Yun finally go to the movies?

Ans: About Zhang Fei, Liu Bei and Zhao Yun. (Guan Yu and Zhang Fei stay with Zhao Yun. )

14. What are the surnames of most fat people in Hong Kong?

Ans: Go to hell.

15. Explain that both Ma Xiao and Xiaoya believe in Xiao He?

A: Amazon River (Amazonian River)

16. When the lion is tired, he takes four steps, the tiger takes three steps and the wild takes two steps.

Ans: the god of wealth (Song: the god of wealth has arrived, so it's easy to take two steps quickly)

17. Football surname Zu, volleyball surname Pai, basketball surname Lan, judo surname Ba?

Judo is called "Christmas" ... because ... it's Christmas Day ~ ~ and Christmas Day ~ ~

18. Once upon a time, there were two brothers, one named Daming and the other named Xiaoming. My parents died when I was a child, and Daming raised Xiaoming. So who raised Daming?

Dogs raise Daming (I've heard a lot about you)

19. Bread A, B, C and D, which bread is bitter?

C, because the baker (C is bitter)

20. There is a lyric in Andy Lau that says I love you for ten thousand years. What are you going to sing?

Grandpa because: "Love you for ten thousand years" yeah ~ yeah "

the second part

1. Cars can fly. Please guess a drink ... coffee. ...

Because ... (car)-(plane)

2. What chicken runs fast in the world? What chicken is slow?

Chicken nuggets (quick)

Nicole Kidman (slow)

3. Which is dumb, the star, the moon or the sun?

Stars, because there is a saying in Lu's song, "The stars in the sky don't talk."

Jed told Xiaoming that her father was impotent. Guess an idiom.

I can't stop (my father can't)

8. Celery walked, suddenly felt a stomachache, and then "hissed". What did you say he took out? That's celery dung (diligence)! ! ! What color is celery dung?

Answer: yellow.

Because: Qin Shihuang (Qin Shihuang)

Keep coming.

2. An ant has six feet. What about the four footprints he walked on the shit?

A: There are two hands and a nose.

In the past, left Q and right Q lived together and were buried together, but later right Q moved to the left. What was the result? (Guess four words)

A: Block (left) Q from living in the sun.

5, point out the big white rabbit brand kiss 100 honey rabbit is a boy?

A: Not even a D.

7. Which two are the most difficult to teach: A, B, C, D, E and F?

A: Class C is the same as Class E (Islam)

8. Which is the slowest from snake A to snake Z?

A: Snake C (Yu Shiman's "Snake C Slow")

9. English letters A to Z, E and T go to the left. How many English letters are Chinese?

A: 2 1 letter (et will take the buried ufo away)

10, daxiong punished grandma for not doing her homework. Did Ding Dong really help her with a magic weapon?

ATM

1 1, one pear for five children, cut with a knife, and give it to all children equally, but cut it three times. What should I do?

A: Cut a pear with two knives, and then kill one of the children with the last knife.

13. A couple from China, who live in Italy, went to the market to buy chicken breast one day. Because she didn't know Italian, she just barked like a chicken and pointed at her chest. If she wants to buy chicken feet, she points to her feet. The boss got it. Later, she wanted to buy sausages, but she went home and called her husband. Why?

Because her husband knows Italian.

15. It is said that a plane was hijacked by a man. D passengers will tell the hijackers about d? Guyi mobile phone brand

Ans: Nokia (getting off the plane ~)

20. What is a terrorist?

A: Denominator of terror.

2 1. What is the median line?

Answer: Terrorism Branch

22. this is a lot of dreams, and the teacher's illness will be more contagious than the one around him?

A: Stretch men, because stretch men stretch men.

26. Is the daily necessities a gei product from the 1980s?

Ans: Oil, because oil is not from the 1980s ~

27. What is the most disgusting haircut product in Di Yun?

Ans: Meiyuan shines, because Meiyuan shines and will not be "played".

follow-up action

3. Aaron Kwok sings baa songs? Sing "This Song"; Singing in China? "Sing" RMB

4. What do you want to see after watching porn? B film (VCD is divided into A film and B film)

5. Do plants know about ice? Flower, fancy ice

7. Can't you tie a boat to play with toys? Explosive spinning (ship) gyro

8. Have you ever eaten shit? Eat two old shits

1 1. Can you decorate your hands with your sample field? Hair, an opponent who can't be decorated.

When 12. 1+ 1 =3? Staggered fruit array

13. Which part of the tree is the most leisure? Leaves, (freedom)

17. Will sharks change after eating the remaining red beans? Red bean sauce

18. What does lemon fear most? Citrus, citrus lemon

20. Can Xiao Ming jump higher than Fei 'e Mountain? Because Fei 'e Mountain doesn't know how to jump.

22. Why not tell jokes on the boat? Because a sea will laugh and cause a tsunami.

24. Xiaoming's door is closed, leaving the last sentence: Why didn't Xiaoming open the door first? "I'm from Decheng"

30. Will eating too much lemon hurt the rack? , hurt? sadder

3 1. Xiaoming did his summer homework by himself. The next day, he died, because ... he had to do his homework, so he couldn't live.

When M remembered that "smiles are free", Xiao Ming went to tell him ... "No, San Xiao wants to take them away. 」

34. Xiaoming jumped from the street on the 20th floor ... He didn't die ... but he killed a chicken on the left? Because hey, mom, the chicken is still alive.

36. The furnace system stinks the most? Toast (stool) stove

38. What exactly is Yakult? It means, "You drank Zuo Wei today."

39. A madman tied a plane and left a fire extinguisher in the dum. What's the solution? Because of epilepsy

40. What is the most popular way to destroy gag at the border of Hong Kong? Daguling (cold enough)

4 1. What are the names of Andrew Cheung and Zhang Chongde? ... Zhang Chongken

43. Can you type? Bananas, because you don't make a move.

45. What is the most just stationery? Pen! Because you can't save yourself if you die.

48. Doraemon, will you become a doctor when you grow up? Fu Xiao

49. A sparrow landed on the left and fell into the water. The first two times were all right? Because a bird fell into the water, fell into the water, and a bird fell into the water and was washed away by the water.

50. What is an animal ball? English (Eagle) (Knowledge) Zhuoqiu

5 1. Do you know how to laugh at BB? Because if you can laugh, you won't cry.

52. Breast augmentation costs 10 thousand on both sides and only 3 thousand on one side. This is a four-word idiom.

A: twists and turns