Who will tell some jokes about nurses?

Zhang San has appendicitis. In order to save money, he found an unlicensed small hospital for surgery.

Zhang San didn't have an operation, but he thought it was just a minor operation. Therefore, after the anesthetic injection, he fell asleep with confidence.

During the operation, Zhang San was completely under anesthesia and could not hear what the doctor said. Otherwise, he will faint without anesthesia.

During the operation, the surgeon opened Zhang San's stomach, looked at it, and then asked the nurse, "Is this it?"

The nurse looked at it again and again and said, "Maybe."

The doctor looked at it again and again and said, "It doesn't look like it."

The nurse looked at it again and again and said, "Then look for something else."

The sound of organs rubbing against each other.

Doctor: "Is this it?"

Nurse: "This seems to be the liver."

Doctor: "Oh, what about this?"

Nurse: "lungs."

Doctor: "Shit, your lungs are growing on your stomach?" ? ! "

Nurse: "Why do you ask me? Are you a doctor or am I a doctor? "

Doctor: "Don't make any noise. Are you responsible for waking him up? "

Nurse: "Forget it. Look at that image. Just cut it. Don't ask me."

Doctor: "Well, that's it." I can cut it off. "

Nurse: "Cut."

Doctor: "I am real."

Nurse: "Cut."

Doctor: "I can cut it now."

Nurse: "Don't bother, you cut it!" " "

The doctor raised his knife and took a piece from Zhang San's stomach.

Doctor: "sew it up and see if there are any scissors in his stomach." A pair of scissors is a monthly bonus. "

Nurse: "scissors ... no ... whose ring is this?"

Doctor: "mine, mine, I accidentally dropped it." Change the position of his liver and spleen by the way. Just screwed up. "

Nurse: "Oh."

In this way, the operation is over.

During the reexamination, it was found that Zhang San was removed from the bile duct, not the cecum, and the surgeon was dismissed.

Because there is no bile duct, bile accumulates in the abdominal cavity to form water, so three days later, Zhang Sanjin had bile extraction and cecum surgery. Results The operation failed, Zhang San was wrongly removed from the spleen, and the surgeon was dismissed.

In the next operation, Zhang San was wrongly removed from his right kidney, and the surgeon was dismissed. On the same day, Zhang San was rated as "the nemesis of surgeons" by the hospital, and he was awarded a trophy and a pennant.

Three days later, with the decision of the hospital, the dean personally performed bile extraction and cecal surgery on Zhang Sanjin. The dean had a heart attack on the spot and was hospitalized, so he had to be replaced by the vice president.

Under pressure, the vice president operated on Zhang Sanjin. When the vice president opened three stomachs, he found that only the liver and gallbladder were left in Zhang San's right abdominal cavity, which can be described as "caring for each other."

In this case, after 8 hours, 32 minutes and 57 seconds 12 minutes' observation, touching, thinking, research, memory, prospect, analysis, identification and discussion, the vice president finally succeeded in removing Zhang San's gallbladder, and ensured Zhang San's abdominal environment during suture, leaving no impurities such as scissors, hemostatic forceps, rings, watches, pagers, mobile phones and business communication.

Later, the vice president published a long report on "Zhang's bile extraction operation", which was extended to the whole hospital as a typical successful case.

Three days later, the patient's family presented him with a banner of "rejuvenation with wonderful hands and mercy under the knife".

A month later, the dean died and the vice president was promoted to the dean.

However, Zhang San's appendicitis has not been cured.