There is a kind of touch that I forgot about, do you still remember it?

There is always a time in a person's life when he loves someone with all his strength, to the point of breaking his heart, and thinking that he would risk his life for it.

After pain, crying, drunkenness, and wandering, they met again, so the two of them looked at each other and smiled. Even if their hearts were broken, they would still smile playfully, pretending to be calm and calm.

Xiaohan, that’s it.

A person’s Beijing will inevitably be desolate and confused.

On the crowded Batong Line, Xiaohan habitually opened QQ and found that his profile picture could no longer be found.

It’s really cold in Beijing, so cold that Xiaohan’s hand shaking when holding the phone trembled.

After getting off the subway, she lit a cigarette three times, shivering, but still no white smoke spread out.

She threw down the embarrassed cigarette angrily and ran her feet over it a few times.

The smoke was crushed, and the tobacco residue was blown into pieces by the cold wind.

She dialed the long-lost phone number, and a sleepy voice came from the other end: "What's wrong?"

Xiaohan was startled, talking about the city he couldn't see. He smiled and said, "Why did you delete me?"

"You just realized that I deleted you?" The slightly nasal voice echoed the news in Beijing.

"Okay, I'll hang up if it's okay." Xiaohan's smile broke in an instant, in the winter when no one saw it.

Thousands of words were stuck in my heart, but when I opened my mouth, I found that I had become mute and could not utter even a few words.

Many loves die in silence, in winter, and in the streets where the cold wind blows.

After get off work, Xiaohan took me to drink Niulanshan for 16 yuan a bottle.

We were sitting in the crayfish shop on Guijie Street. There was a spicy and lively atmosphere everywhere, the crowd was bustling and the sound was roaring.

Xiaohan drank two bottles of liquor and four bottles of Yanjing fresh beer by himself, his eyes blurred and he chattered endlessly.

I don’t know whether I was talking to my friends or to myself, but I just kept mumbling, and there was a mist in my eyes that could be seen by anyone with sight, covering the entire shop.

The bottom of the pot on the next table made a muffled growl, just like the purring sound of a cat named October lying in her arms.

Gulu...Gulu...Gulu...and then disappeared in a deep voice.

Obviously, Xiaohan is not October, she is a life-threatening lunatic.

Sitting at the next table was a couple who looked like a couple. They had been drinking for three rounds. The woman was crying and the man was looking away.

The two people didn’t know what they were arguing about. The man stood up and was about to leave. The woman cried and grabbed the man’s clothes. The food and wine were spilled and covered with filth.

Food becomes filthy when it leaves the vessel, and so does love. After a certain range, it becomes garbage.

I was still stuck in the role of watching the play, but I saw Xiaohan rushing over with a beer bottle, grabbing the man's collar like a bandit and asking loudly: "Why don't you love her? Why don't you love her?" Don’t love her? Why don’t you love her?”

Both men and women were obviously stunned. I quickly ran forward and broke Xiaohan’s hand that was holding the man’s collar. Some are white, but the eyes are red.

I took her hand, put it around her shoulders, and smiled apologetically at the man: "I'm sorry, my friend is drunk. I'm sorry, I'm sorry."

After apologizing In order to prevent the man from being reluctant, I dragged Xiaohan to pay the bill and ran away.

There are more pedestrians at night than during the day, laughing and playing in twos and threes.

The wind whistled by. I wrapped my coat tightly and strode forward, dragging my staggering Xiaohan.

Xiaohan stumbled all the way and fell on my shoulder. Rather than saying that she was walking, it was better to say that I was carrying a load.

I really ran out of energy and stopped next to the dim street light. Xiaohan seemed to be a boneless green snake that had been drained of its strength. It slid along my body to the ground and curled up into a ball, like a snake. It is a shrimp boiled in boiling water holding itself tightly.

I simply sat on the cement curb.

Looking at Xiaohan curled up on the ground, I felt extremely distressed. I sighed and stood up to help her.

She fell into my arms and burst into tears.

My lips moved but I hesitated to speak. I didn’t know what to say to comfort her, or how to stop her sadness.

I could only pat her back gently, again and again.

I couldn’t hear the honking of cars on the road, the noise of the crowd, or the lingering sound of cold air at this moment. I only felt that the clothes on my chest were soaked with something and felt warm. Hot and slightly bitter.

At this moment, it seemed as if the whole world had stopped suddenly, and only the two of us were left on the dark stage, hugging each other like a sculpture in the last beam of light on the stage.

Whose cell phone vibrated broke the silence and broke the world?

Xiaohan wanted to take out the buzzing mobile phone from her pocket. She inserted her hand twice but failed to find the exact position of the pocket. She slipped from the side of her clothes and grabbed a hand of cold air. .

I helped her take out her phone and saw the two words "A prisoner" flashing on the screen.

Xiaohan turned his head and his eyes were blurry and scattered, but after seeing the mobile phone screen, his eyes brightened for a moment and then dimmed quickly.

She stared at the phone for a long time, without movement or words, but her red eyes shattered all her disguises.

The best nosy thing I did in my life was to answer the phone and then raise it to Xiaohan's ear.

Because I was close enough to Xiaohan, I could clearly hear a tired male voice over there falling into my ears across the distance and night.

"Xiaohan, are you okay?"

"Oh, I'm fine." Xiaohan stood up straight from my arms and pulled on his clothes, with a look on his face Strictly forbidden, like a little girl who was caught stealing candy.

"I want to talk to you." There was crying and pleading in the prisoner's voice.

"What can we talk about?"

In the night, Xiaohan suppressed his sadness and put on an indifferent look.

"Why don't you want to be with me? Why don't you want to be with me? Why don't you want to be with me?"

Ah Qian was a little embarrassed. The cry was so thick that it covered the whole winter. He seemed to be asking himself and Xiaohan.

Xiaohan bit her trembling lips, as if she had spent her whole life trying to control her emotions.

The moonlight was solidified, and I held my breath, as if Xiaohan had a magnetic field that affected the world at this moment, and her emotions controlled the operation and playback of the entire world.

After a long time, she took a deep breath, and the light in her eyes turned from dim to dead.

"I just don't want to be with you. We are not suitable, and we will not contact you in the future."

The moonlight passing through the haze had a frosted texture, hitting Xiaohan's face On my face, I saw something bright, and then it hit the ground.

Tears pooled on her face, but she kept an indifferent face.

After that, she hung up the phone, as if the other party was some wild beast that would drag her into the dark abyss.

In fact, she was not afraid of the other party. She was only afraid of herself. She was afraid that she would lose her armor if she couldn't hold it back, or give him another scar if she couldn't hold it back.

Xiaohan stood by the roadside, looked up at the sky, and stood there for a long time.

The weather is finally getting colder, will your heart feel cold?

On the way home, Xiaohan rambled on and told me a story about her and the prisoner. The story was very long and she told it very sweetly.

I asked her why she was so reluctant to break up and what was she doing?

Xiaohan stopped and looked directly into my eyes: "He is the only child in the family, and I can no longer have children. Do you understand?"

I laughed out loud: "What age are we in? You, a new-era woman, are still doing this old thing?"

Xiaohan smiled, his dimples filled with bitterness and helplessness: "You don't understand, and neither does he." I don’t understand, even I don’t understand.”

Xiaohan didn’t tell me that Ah Lun’s mother knelt down to beg her, nor did she tell me that she couldn’t have children because she had aborted a child for him.

She is always so self-righteous, thinking that the whole world is under her endurance, thinking that she can bear all the sadness and filth.

After sending Xiaohan home, I received a call from Ah Qian. His sadness was different from Xiaohan's depression and restraint.

He directly asked me to help him. He said that he could not live without Xiaohan.

In the four years I have known them both, I have never seen this man so humble.

He said: "I was very reluctant to let go of that child. If Xiaohan had not aborted it, I would be a father now."

"I secretly burned the child behind Xiaohan's back." I’m not afraid of you making fun of me if I tell you. I’m afraid that it will not have a good life in that world.”

In just a few words, the man choked up several times, and he couldn’t stop crying after he finished speaking. Can't stop.

I said: "A prisoner, if you can reconcile with Xiaohan, you must be good to her. I really hope that I will only have to pay a share of the money in the future."

A prisoner Said: "I beg you to help me take good care of her. She is too strong and won't tell anyone about her grievances. You must let her eat well..."

I heard the words from the prisoner on the other end. He heard the sound of running and stopping the car, and he said: "Master, please hurry up and get to the high-speed rail station. I'm going to Beijing. My wife and children haven't eaten yet."

Then cars roared past, The sound of wind on glass.

I don’t know if Ah Lun and Xiao Han can save me a fortune, but knowing that I am touched, I will keep it for them.