How can I not care about other people’s opinions?

The world is bitter, but life must be what it should be.

Seeing my sister helping her two daughters with their homework, I was at a loss what to do. My older sister loved shopping and going out for a nice shopping trip. But now in her life, there are only groups of children and the appearance of living for others.

From her present, I seemed to see her next life. Take care of the children until they grow up, provide for them to study, and then grow old. My life has come to an end.

She can even count on her fingers how long she has lived for herself and how many things she likes she has done wantonly.

I still remember the sad look on my sister’s face when she gave birth to her second daughter. It was another daughter, and her in-laws and husband didn’t like it. The next year, a third child was born, and this one was finally a son.

When she talked to us, she looked relaxed, as if giving birth to a boy was a task for her to marry into her husband's family.

Now that I am also married, I have gradually come to understand her worries and uneasiness. But she was also afraid of living the same life as her, and even more afraid of her husband's expectations for having a boy.

Everyone has fantasized countless times about how spectacular this life should be. Even if it is a love affair or a long journey, if it can be vigorous and leave something different, at least there will be no regrets.

But most people’s lives are ordinary and unremarkable, without even a hint of brilliance left behind.

The world is bitter, but life still remains in reality. Sustenance

When I picked up this book, I mistakenly thought it was a thick chicken soup book, but I didn’t realize that it contained different people, different stories and experiences. What impressed me most was the bowl of "duck blood fans" and "the dream of going to Beijing to listen to rock music".

A bowl of duck blood fans relies on one’s own motivation. Every time I see that bowl of duck blood fans, I feel motivated inside. Every time I think about going to Beijing to listen to rock music, I am filled with endless longing for Beijing.

Have you ever pinned your ideals on something? What I like most is to pin my motivation for success on the success of others.

I always feel that if others can succeed, then I can too. Just be like them and put in a little more effort.

I once read a highly praised article on Zhihu, which was about a high school student with average grades, but he was motivated to be admitted to Peking University. People around her laughed at her for daydreaming.

But she showed everyone that she can do it by being the first to arrive in the classroom, the last to leave, and the top three in the test every day.

Every time she felt discouraged, she always thought of the campus of Peking University and its scenery. She worked hard to get into Peking University.

In the end, with amazing perseverance and excellent grades, she was admitted to Peking University and became a legend in the school.

Everyone has a dream in their heart, but the difference is: some people place it in their minds, and some people place it in their actions. The most successful thing in this life is to live this life the way you like.

Most people live most of their lives without knowing what they like. In fact, it’s normal. Where do we have so much time, energy, and money for trial and error?

But if you don’t try it, how will you know what you like and what you don’t like?

Most people can only settle for the status quo.

The person I admire most is my grandfather. In my impression, he has never been a peaceful person.

When I was 7 years old, my grandfather wanted to become a monk. Everyone was trying to persuade him. The most extreme thing his uncle could do was to burn down the temple to stop him from becoming a monk.

My uncle was tough, but my grandfather was also tougher. He wouldn’t listen to anyone’s words, so he decided to become a monk.

Grandma said that grandpa has always been a selfish person. Ever since she got married, my grandfather's life has not been about working in the fields. He has always been holding a book, reading and writing. Take care of yourself but not your family.

Now, I don’t know whether I should be grateful for my grandfather’s choice. At least his old life is very good. Not only can he be self-sufficient, but most importantly, he does not need to rely on anyone.

Grandpa lived a decent life.

Although grandpa seemed selfish in his life, he really lived his life in the way he liked.

Are you brave enough to pursue the life you love?

Before the age of 20, I lived in the world in the eyes of others, working silently for myself in the eyes of others. After turning 20, I am trying to break all of this.

There is a question on Zhihu: "How can I not care about other people's opinions and be myself willfully?"

Gao Zan replied: "Learn to accept yourself unconditionally. It’s the best way to become yourself.”

Because in the environment and culture we live in, whether it is the teachings of teachers or elders, we are taught to be “others”. No one ever told us: you have to be yourself.

Trying to be someone else, trying to be better, better, richer, these are just the motivations that drive many people to survive. But these are essentially just fulfilling a false fantasy on your part.

For many people, they live their whole lives within the standards of external evaluation, and they work hard all their lives to be someone else.

Unconditionally accepting yourself, your shortcomings, strengths, and imperfections is the beginning of your unyielding.

A cousin of mine got married during the Spring Festival this year. Due to the epidemic, there was no way to hold a wedding or entertain guests. I just got married hastily, and I suggested that I could come back at the end of the year to make up for it.

My cousin said that the customs here should not be like this. They are all married off, so there is no reason to make up for it. Others will laugh at it.

I felt very bad when I heard this. Marriage is a lifetime event, and a wedding only happens once. How come you don’t even take these things into consideration because of customs? My cousin was also sad because who doesn’t want to have a lively marriage?

Although I wanted to persuade my aunt and her family not to take it too seriously, the world is like this. How can we be so easily persuaded? Chinese people have been afraid of being poked in the back since ancient times, let alone in rural areas.

You cannot pursue the life you like by living according to other people's standards.

There are always people telling you not to do this or that it is inappropriate. Even if we want to break away, sometimes we are forced to follow the rules.

However, there are always some people who will break away from these constraints to be themselves and pursue their own lives. They are not afraid of external evaluations, unwilling to follow the rules set by the outside world, and just want to live their lives freely.

These people may be ordinary, but they are little heroes in their lives.

I hope you can become such a hero!