Selected Humorous Short Messages for Customers

1, stop getting drunk. Yesterday, someone saw you chasing a pig with a glass and shouted, "Are you a brother?" Brother did it! ! "

2. I am a lonely tree, standing on the side of the road for thousands of years, waiting alone, just because one day you pass by me, I will fall for you, and it is in vain not to smash you.

3. If I leave in autumn, I will wait for you in the snow; If the world goes, I will love you in heaven; If I leave, I will let her take care of you. Really, her pig-raising skills are not bad!

I know you pay attention to hygiene. Wash your hands carefully every time you go to the toilet. Suddenly you stopped washing your hands. I'm surprised: why don't you wash your hands? You replied: "I brought paper this time! ! "

5. It is a very happy thing to miss you; Nice to meet you. Loving you is what I will always do; Keeping you in mind is what I have been doing; However, lying to you just happened.

6. I pray to the Buddha for a long-lasting rose every day. When there are 999 roses, I will give them to you together and say emotionally, "Little son, I don't believe that the attracted bees won't sting you! ! "

7. It is reported that a few days ago, Iraqi armed forces hung your jade photo on the wall of Baghdad, causing a large number of American soldiers to vomit and die. After investigation and evidence collection by the United Nations, it is confirmed that this is a weapon of mass destruction, so run quickly.

8. Couples in western countries always divorce because their lover is a baby. Look at the old man under the moon in China. They are experienced, so China's marriage lasts longer. When carrot saw the customer, he respectfully handed in his business card. The customer looked at the business card and asked, why is it called Korean ginseng? Carrots have a thin waist. "People haha!"

9. Today, you woke up with a mosquito lying beside your pillow and a suicide note beside you: I struggled all night, and your impudence made me ashamed to live in this world! Lord, forgive him! I killed myself.

10 Someone saw you today. You are still so charming. You walk slowly in a plaid vest. You look so detached and comfortable. It is really cute. I don't know how you beat rabbits in those years.

1 1. In a year, a man wrote more than 800 love letters to his girlfriend. As a result, his girlfriend finally announced that she was getting married. The groom is the postman who delivered these letters to her.

12, the barber was chatting while helping the guest trim his face, and he was so busy that he didn't pay attention to shaving the guest's eyebrows. The barber asked: Do you want to keep your eyebrows? Guest: Stay! Barber: Alas! Why didn't you say so earlier? Shaved off!

Husband: Honey, I'm fired. Because of a little thing, it's so unfair! Wife: Why? Husband: I forgot to close the tiger cage after work last night. But they don't want to think, who dares to steal a tiger!

14, "Do you know why men like to have long hair like ladies recently?" "Because, if your lover or wife finds long hair on their clothes, he will smile and say,' This is my hair!' "

15, you were practicing in a mental hospital, and suddenly a psycho came after you with a kitchen knife. You turned and ran until you reached a dead end, thinking it was over. The patient said, "Here's your knife, it's your turn to chase me!" "

16, a player caught the ball unsteadily. While practicing passing and catching the ball, another player gave him a good ball. He was afraid of losing his grip, so he shouted "Hold on". As a result, the ball hit him on the head and he only heard him say, "With whom?"

17. When you are lonely, a pencil may be your best plaything. You can cut it, you can cut it, you can cut it with a small knife, and you can vent yourself and shout loudly, "I killed the pen, I killed the pen, I killed the pen!" " ! "

18, the sky is so clear, the sun is so bright, and the sea is so boundless. You are standing on the blue beach, and I stabbed you with a stick: "Hey, this little bastard, the shell is quite hard! ! "

19. On the first day of the obstetrician's internship, his wife asked him, "How was today?" The doctor said, "It's not too bad. Although the mother and the baby were not saved, the baby's father was finally saved. "

20. I couldn't help running to your door that day to tell you what was on my mind, but I didn't have the courage to say it in the end. I finally got up the courage to say "have a nice weekend" to you today.

2 1, you bit me last night, and I got a red pimple, which tickled me to death. You said you loved sweet blood, and you were not polite to me at all, so I was shy.

22. Late at night, a ghost knocked at the door, ventured to peep under the door, showing his face and fangs. He was so scared that he suddenly reached out, grabbed you out of the building, hugged your head, coughed and shivered from time to time for half a night, and finally exported it. Tomorrow and Saturday, I will have a good time with you.

I have no place to play this weekend. I volunteered to work overtime. The boss is in no hurry. Turn on the computer and see: don't bother if you don't go to work on weekends. Thank you! From the computer.

24, the weekend has come to bless you, the air around you is fresh, good morning, good spirit, stretching and texting: I wish you the best and have a nice weekend! Oh, sorry, I typed an extra word "out" ~

25. I drive a three-wheeled BMW to congratulate you at a strong speed: congratulations, congratulations, it's not easy, it's hard, it's not simple, it's so tough, you have to plow while pulling a cart, and you can finally graduate in the scorching sun.

26. Missing you makes me more silent. I can only use * * * words to express my feelings for you. Can you hear my heartbeat? My dear weekend!

27. What is the weekend? I think about you every day. I hope you can wait until the end of time. My brother can't wait. Come on, weekend, I want to be with you forever!

28. I have a blind date every weekend and have been single for two years. I wonder why. None of them seem right? Either this one is fat or that one is short, or the other person doesn't feel it, or the other person looks at it. Don't be too picky when you are old, just do something similar. I wish you a blind date again this week. When you meet the ideal single person, you two will smile at each other and agree for life!

29. Remember that weekend? You broke my heart. Watching you wander around, working overtime really hurts me. Why is it so difficult to love weekends? Do I care too much about you? Maybe you always have a heart and never remember me!

30. One-week mood table: Monday is depressed, Tuesday is irritable, Wednesday is expecting, Thursday is longing, Friday's dream comes true, Saturday is relaxed and happy, and Sunday gradually turns from happy to depressed.

3 1, longing for waking up naturally on weekends. I looked at my watch. It's only five o'clock sharp. It's still early to go to bed. I'll open my eyes when it's dawn. It's convenient to fall asleep. When I got up, I looked at the clock again. The pointer points to 9 o'clock. Why is it dark outside? I suddenly realized when I looked at my mobile phone, and I slept for nearly two laps. You are not a pig, but you are a pig. You slept in a daze. Everyone else envies your ability to sleep. I wish you continue to sleep on weekends, and I will bother you when you go to work on Monday!

32. The weekend comes quietly. When I think of you, my heart will be filled with our days together, just like songs and poems. May this short message, like cool comfort, send my greetings and blessings and drive away the suffering of your scorching sun. Ah! Fate, let's get to know each other ... don't be too moved. Just because the recent rise in meat prices has set a new record, I want to sell a pig that is reading information.

33. Who told you to go out at the weekend? Does the country allow it? Don't you know that being so beautiful will disturb public order and hinder traffic? I have applied to the state to be your full-time bodyguard. Everyone knows that you are getting more and more beautiful. I will protect you at the weekend ~

34. The Tang Priest said: There is infinite love in the world, ants are not afraid of the sun, and Laozi is not afraid of monsters. As long as love remains the same, the prince is helpless. Don't be bad at school, throw people into the game, otherwise the Buddha will blame, and the truth is worth 10 thousand. Fall in love on weekends, not indefinitely. If you are helpless, why come to the game? Give you a love, save stealing food.

35. There are no words to express my thoughts. I miss you so much that I can't sleep. I ask you out every day. You always say that you have no time, but you just refuse to see me. I really want to say to you: it's the weekend, pay back the money quickly!

36, study pressure, high work requirements, the weekend has arrived, both can be thrown!

How time flies! It's the weekend in a blink of an eye. I'll give you some signals to hurry up and get together at the weekend.

There are seven children in Lao Zhou's family, and the daily cleaning tasks are regular. Monday is Zhou Da, Tuesday is the second child, Wednesday is the third child, Thursday is the fourth child, Friday is the fifth child, and Saturday is of course the sixth child. So who is this weekend?

39. The weekend is terrible, and there are no holidays. Overtime is bitter and sweet.

40. In your dream, you became a handsome guy who kept singing. In a short time, I finished singing Monday's noise, Tuesday's anxiety, Wednesday's fatigue, Thursday's anxiety, Friday's sadness, and a wonderful weekend. What a good cricket brother! Otherwise, how could you hide under my bed and sing so well!

4 1. On weekends, you are always happy. Why? Because I drove away your work fatigue for a week, drove away your fatigue and boredom for a week, drove away your leadership bullshit for a week, blew away your lazy party for a week, and left you a girl to sleep with you for the weekend. Honey, are you still dreaming?

42. We are a generation that grew up in hutong, and we are heading for the ideal. There is a lot of resentment between brothers, and we are getting smaller and smaller. Our neighbors are as good as our relatives. When we met, we were porcelain. Think of me at weekend dinner!

43. The passage of time only takes away the years, but friendship remains in my heart forever; The change of time dilutes only sadness, but the heart of missing is getting stronger and stronger; Send a message on this leisurely weekend, just want to wish you a happy life!

44. Time flies, and the tortoise and the rabbit race in life; Busy, the weekend comes as scheduled; Walk slowly and let your heart calm down; Just smile more or less and be happy. Have a nice weekend.

45. Time goes by day. Remember, there is sweetness in the light. Greetings, repeated many times. Every time I read it, there is a warm current flowing in my heart. Put an end to a busy week May you relax and have a nice weekend!

46. Time is infinitely good, but there are few weekends. Don't bother. Please read the short message: friends have arrived, QQ has made an appointment, there are so many activities, and drinking will not be left behind. The chat is really lively, and I also spend a dime. Have a nice weekend!

47. Because looking forward to you is my spiritual sustenance, because I miss you and waste my time, because I miss you, I will work hard quickly. My world is wonderful because of you. On weekends, you are the motivation of my work and the source of happiness.

48. The weasel calls the chicken: This weekend, I will drive you to karaoke in the evening, and then have a midnight snack. The chicken agreed. As a result, the chicken became a midnight snack for the weasel. I wish you a happy weekend when you read the short message, and be careful against wolves!

49. Busy work only reduces contact, but friends' thoughts are closer. A short message, a greeting, contains the real intention. Have a nice weekend!

50. Get on the happy car, step on the happy accelerator, hold the steering wheel tightly, light up the happy car and set off for the weekend destination; Travel, it can dispel your boredom for a week; Have a nice weekend!

5 1, platitudes of blessing, platitudes of days, platitudes of concern and platitudes of weekends. May my short message add some new elements to you, and may my short message accompany you to have a happy weekend! Happy weekend!

52. Work pressure surrounds the whole body. You should have a good mood on weekends, how warm it is to relax and rest, how happy the family reunion is, how warm and touching it is, and how comfortable it is to go to work next week. Have a nice weekend!

53. Put aside unhappiness and welcome the weekend. Throw away the heavy luggage and relax. Weekend is coming, happiness is coming, carefree moment is coming, and I am no longer afraid of being late for work. Have a nice weekend.

54. Time and time again, you drove a canoe across the ocean, Erwan, Sanxiantan and Sidu Chishui, and came to Wutai Mountain. Brahma bell rings gently, I wish you a relaxing weekend!

55. A day's plan lies in the morning and a week's plan lies in the weekend. Happiness is king, you are the biggest on weekends, be the master of time, be your own boss, upgrade happiness to happiness, reduce troubles to ordinary people, and postpone the happy mood for another week!

56. Just one word on Monday: Calculate. One word on Tuesday: fuck. Just one word on Wednesday: slow. One word on Thursday: hope. Just one word on Friday: Huan. A word at the weekend: yeah! I wish you a happy and carefree weekend.

57. The busy week is over and the weekend transition is easy; Put aside the pressure and look for * * * elements; Don't live blindly, remember to enjoy happiness; Stop your tired footsteps and your heart will follow you happily! SMS blessing, I wish you happiness!

58. I heard that seven gourd brothers are looking for you. The eldest is happy, the second is happy, the third is safe, the fourth is lucky, the fifth is lucky, the sixth is happy, and the seventh is happy. They want to wish you a comfortable week and a happy weekend!

59. When the weekend comes, pack up your worries and send them back to your hometown. Freeze melancholy and sink into the sea; Release happiness and make your heart happy; It will be easy for your heart to spread and relax; Gather friendship and send greetings: Have a nice weekend!

60. Gentle greetings contain heavy thoughts, light care contains deep thoughts, and short words contain long-term wishes: May your stress disappear, your troubles run, and you have a nice weekend!

6 1, the flowers on the branches are beautiful, and the birds in the forest are noisy; There is less work at hand and less pressure in my heart; The calendar reminds me that the weekend is coming; Sleeping beauty should sleep first, and then let the food be full. At this time, my blessing is: May you be relaxed and happy!

62. You have a lot of good luck, and you are unlucky to see you run; I am glad that you are the most, but I am not worried about you much; Happiness is a big pot, and happiness fills the house; Sweetness is in your heart and blessings are in your hands. Short messages convey feelings, and I am worried. Happy weekend!

63. Friends, the weekend is coming. Stay healthy, eat an apple, live a stable life, taste a banana, and feel sweet. I hope you have a big appetite, always smile, never get old, and have a nice weekend!

64. While the sun is shining, you can have a date, get drunk, take a nap and be free, so that your mood will not be exhausted, happiness will accompany you, and leisure will take you flying. May you have a good time, and good days will always follow you.

65. Let my blessing cross the fence of Jiefang Avenue, cross the barbecue stall in Qing Ji Street, swim across the vast East Lake, climb the towering Turtle Mountain and shout at any corner where you are: Happy weekend!

66. Autumn is coming, the weather is getting colder and colder, and the temperature difference between morning and evening is getting bigger and bigger. Pay attention to dressing and sleeping. Weekends, rest and family gatherings are indispensable and fun. Yes, press the button and the blessing message will be sent to you.

67. White clouds are immersed in the embrace of the blue sky, autumn fruits are hung on branches to express their best wishes to the wind, and autumn leaves are free from the entanglement of branches and the dance of the air, and the troubles and pressures have long been forgotten. The weekend is coming again, I wish you a happy and beautiful mood!

68. I have been nervous for five days, and the weekend is coming. Send a text message to remind you to forget all your troubles and worries, get rid of stress and depression, connect happiness with good luck and be happy!

69. Heart depends on heart and never regrets. There is a kind of meeting that is the most beautiful. Chrysanthemums bloom and butterflies fly, and there is a kind of yearning called intoxication; Sleepless at night, tasteless food, there is a kind of pay called precious; Dear friend, the life with you is really beautiful! Happy weekend!

70. Look, the sunshine warms you every day; Look, the starlight is with you every night. Listen, I bless you all the time. When the weekend comes, may you drown in the ocean of happiness and have a happy smile all your life. Have a nice weekend.

7 1, let friendship occupy loneliness and prevent loneliness; Let greetings replace care and convey warm wishes; Let happiness occupy your sight, and sweet happiness will bloom. I wish you a bright smile and a good mood at the weekend!

72. It's the weekend again. I wish you: connect happiness and get an electric shock safely; Bring successful peers and meet good luck; Exercise more and be healthy for a long time; Add clothes to keep warm and have a good sleep; Enjoy good wishes and happiness.

73. Relax and leave a smiling face for yourself; Take a break and leave a space for yourself; Be tolerant and leave yourself a simple one; Indulge yourself and leave yourself a happy life. Have a nice weekend!

74. When you turn on your mobile phone, I open my blessing to you, fold it into a boat, full of happiness and good luck, smile and be safe, and slowly paddle to your side with the golden river! Have a nice weekend.

75. Affection is a bowl of soup, which warms the heart when boiled; Greeting is a line, pulling is a line; Smiling faces are petals, each of which is rooted in the heart; Weekend is happiness, and every step is romance. It's the weekend, have fun!

76. I would like to be a tree outside your window, wash away your visual fatigue with my green color, and bring you coolness in summer with my swing. Have a relaxing weekend!

77. Happy Mid-Autumn Festival: Double bonus, further development of career, better popularity, better health and more beautiful women around.

78. Mid-Autumn Festival blessing. I wish our customers a career as high as the moon, a width as wide as the sky, and a salary as moon cakes. I wish you a happy Mid-Autumn Festival again!

79. The Mid-Autumn Festival is full of family happiness, till, raising my cup, I asked the bright moon; Husband and wife love each other, the family is harmonious and the world is warm; A bunch of happy flowers, taste the joy in your heart; Go forward bravely on the road to a well-off life, no matter whether it is windy or rainy; Grapes and wine are refills, and happiness and happiness cannot be exchanged!

80. The Mid-Autumn Festival is full of moons, hometown is far away, relatives dream of souls, lovers are concerned, and friends are full of friendship. I wish this scene warm heart!

8 1, Mid-Autumn Festival walks gracefully from the bright moonlight, humming the tune of reunion and auspiciousness, singing the lyrics of happiness and well-being, and sincerely playing the most sincere blessing for you: spend a full moon, be happy and safe.

82. The full moon on Mid-Autumn Festival 15 rises slowly in the sky. She sprinkled her light and love on the world, making it colorful. The Mid-Autumn Festival is here. I wish all leaders: happy family reunion, happiness and well-being, smooth and fulfilling work and full wallets.

As the Mid-Autumn Festival approaches, I wish you five wishes. Wish you all the best. I wish you all the best: first, cash cow, second, noble people help your career, third, all the best, health and longevity, fourth, a basket full of happiness, and fifth, happiness and auspiciousness. I wish you a happy Mid-Autumn Festival!

84. On the Mid-Autumn Festival, the gods bless you, the god of wealth wishes you a wealth of money, the god of love wishes you love as sweet as honey, and the god of food wishes you good food and good health. The goddess of luck wishes you a smile, and your good looks will come naturally. I wish you a happy Mid-Autumn Festival, family reunion and a happy Millennium!

85, Mid-Autumn Festival, the moon, moon cakes, blessings, business, you, me, friendship, dear customers, in this Mid-Autumn Festival, taking advantage of this bright moonlight, taking advantage of this pleasant breeze, take this short message to convey our endless blessings, I wish you a happy Mid-Autumn Festival and a family reunion!

86. Mid-Autumn Festival, customers, relationships, connections, intimacy, cooperation, happiness, prosperity and prosperity. I wish you happiness, reunion and happiness.

87. Mid-Autumn Festival is particularly enchanting, so wish me to arrive first. Dear customers, thank you for your cooperation along the way. Through the bright moon, I extend my heartfelt wishes to you. I wish you a happy holiday, family success, good health and happiness every day!

88. Wholehearted support and companionship, successful cooperation again and again, continuous study of the Four Books and Five Classics, wonderful presentation of six wonderful ideas, exquisite strategy and lofty vision, healthy friendship among eight friends, mutual support and help among nine friends (for a long time), and perfect sincerity remain unchanged. Dear customers, I wish you a happy Mid-Autumn Festival.

89. Dear customer: On the occasion of Mid-Autumn Festival, our company extends special wishes to you, wishing you good health, all the best, successful career, prosperous business, abundant financial resources, happy family and a happy Mid-Autumn Festival!

90. When the festival arrives, I will send you a moon cake: the first layer of wealth; The second layer of luck; The third layer of good luck; The fourth layer of romance; The middle layer is sweet. I wish you a good mood every day and a happy Mid-Autumn Festival!

9 1, full moon reunion, lack of separation. If ruthless, the full moon is also missing, if affectionate, the full moon is also missing. The bright moon sends acacia thousands of miles away!

92. No matter how far apart we are, whether we meet or leave, there is always a blessing in my heart. Wish you all the best!

93. A bright moon hangs on the horizon, and the Mid-Autumn Festival gives thanks and wishes. Dear customers, on this holiday season, I wish your family a happy reunion, happiness, good luck in front of the door, love for God of Wealth and friendship all over the world!

94. A little greeting, a little gratitude, a little care, an encouraging seat, a pleasant room, a little happiness, a bunch of beauty and a bumpy road will always be accompanied by a single-minded and happy life. I wish my dear customers a happy life and a happy Mid-Autumn Festival.

95. I hope people will live for a long time and take Wan Li Road. Mid-Autumn Festival is approaching, send blessings to friends and family!

96, often go home to see it, it is not easy to come up with a round life, and I always worry about it all my life. I wish the Mid-Autumn Festival a family reunion and all the best!

97. On the night of Mid-Autumn Festival, I invited my guests to the Moon Palace and prepared a sumptuous dinner for everyone: steamed romance, braised blessings, boiled reunion, fried happiness cakes, sincere and warm soup, very pistachios and warm and happy wine. Please come here.

98. The Mid-Autumn Festival is coming again. Customers say hello. I wish you a sweet life like a moon cake, a fruitful career like the Mid-Autumn Festival, a happy family like a full moon and an intoxicating temperament like autumn chrysanthemum. Dear customers, Happy Mid-Autumn Festival!

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