Want to hear a joke

A brother went to the restroom and accidentally entered the women's restroom. After entering, he found that there was no urinal, which felt wrong. Fortunately, there was no one in the women's restroom. He walked out as if nothing had happened. When he was opening the door, he met a girl who came in. The girl looked at him, blushed, lowered her head, turned around and went to the men's room.

When I was in high school, I took an exam that relied on mathematics, and the questions were extremely difficult (in line with the usual style of the old lady in mathematics). I couldn't solve a 20-point big question. It was 20 points. I was so anxious that I burst out in cold sweat (no exaggeration, I really burst out). Proving the theory of relativity, time flies...

There are still 15 minutes left, and a large area on the ground is already wet. Oh my God, 20 points. If you do it right, you may reach the mark!

I couldn’t wait any longer, so I quietly wrote a note: Do you know the second big question?

I wasted another 5 minutes before I found the opportunity to throw it out. I can no longer think about who to throw it to...

God bless, the note fell to a guy in my class who was so good at studying that his brain was stupid, and he picked it up! (It was not in vain that I helped him pack lunch boxes for two weeks, and I burst into tears)

After another 5 minutes, I was about to urinate, and he finally sent the note back, and he burst into tears again, Long live friendship! !

There are only 5 minutes left, so there is no need to delay. I hold the pen in my right hand and my left hand is in the shape of a drunken fist. I try my best to cover my 20-point note and open it~~~

It says: I Yes

I went to KFC yesterday. The person in line behind me looked like a couple. They ordered a lot of food and then sat next to me.

After sitting down, the girl began to eat fiercely, as if she had been hungry for several days, while the boy was nibbling the French fries one by one, as if he had something on his mind.

Suddenly, the boy put down the fries, moved forward, and asked seriously: "Qingqing, can I chase you?"

The girl said directly without raising her head. : "No!"

The boy asked again: "Isn't it possible at all?"

The girl simply said: "It's not possible at all!"

The boy was stunned, looking straight at her and staying there...

At that time, the girl was holding a chicken leg in one hand and a burger in the other. She felt that the boy was looking at her, so she stopped eating. Then he looked at the boy with pitiful eyes and whispered: "Then...can I still eat?"

The people next to me, including me, laughed out loud. The boy was helpless and busy. Said: "Eat, eat..."

When I was in college, I danced a terrible group dance, which required violent movements such as falling down quickly and raising my legs high. Everyone fell into disuse after just a few days of practice. They were covered in bruises and some leg muscles were strained. I was injured more severely.

I went to class in the afternoon. On the third floor, I couldn't lift one of my legs at all. I just had to walk up, which was like sending the leg straight up. As I was walking, I heard a girl behind me saying to her boyfriend: "Schools in big cities are more formal. In our hometown, people with this kind of polio cannot go to school at all."

I fainted...

There was an exam in our school. A boy was sitting in the last row. He received the answers from a classmate. He was so excited that he immediately started copying. When he was about to copy the big and special copies, he looked up and saw the invigilator smiling at him. As he came, he had obviously seen it. This dear friend's later behavior became a classic for our whole grade: He straightened up and looked directly at the teacher very calmly, then put the answer sheet on his nose and blew it hard, and then threw a parabola in a cool and unrestrained manner - into the garbage basket behind the door. . The teacher glared at him several times, but finally did not have the courage to pick up the evidence.

My deskmate had a cold and a runny nose, but he forgot to bring a handkerchief, so he kept sucking the snot into his nose. The Chinese teacher who was writing on the blackboard suddenly turned around and shouted: "That's enough! Stop it! It's so noisy!" The whole class fell silent.

The teacher then said: "Who is eating noodles secretly in class and making such a loud noise?"

There was a girl in our class. When the weather was cold in winter, she put a pack of milk on the heater.

When class was about to begin, I yelled at a boy sitting next to the heater: "***, help me turn your breasts."

The whole class laughed and there was no class in the morning. ．

Boss: Selling socks! Three yuan a pair!

Me: It’s cheaper, three pairs for ten yuan!

Boss: My purchase price is more than this amount, I can’t sell it...

Once I was eating and chatting in the cafeteria, and suddenly I realized that I had dropped a piece of rice outside, and secretly I felt sorry for the farmer uncle for wasting food, so I picked it up and ate it. But later I discovered that the meal didn't seem to be mine...

During the Mid-Autumn Festival when I was a sophomore in high school, my pager suddenly beeped during class, and the teacher confiscated it. In the afternoon, the teacher called me to the office, gave me a severe scolding, and asked me to write a 2,000-word review. After finally finishing the training, the teacher pointed at the desk and said, "Take it back." I was so dazed by the training that I looked up and saw a box of beautifully packaged mooncakes on the table (actually, it was given to the teacher by the school). Welfare), I was so grateful that I completely forgot about my BP machine, grabbed the mooncakes and ran away... The teacher walked out slowly and said "Hey——" blankly...

There is a true story that I have to tell: Occasionally, a female classmate went to the toilet in an unfamiliar old building on campus because of a temporary emergency. She is also a little short-sighted. When I saw a door, I went in. Inside, a man was facing the door, taking off his pants and squatting down. Seeing her go in, he quickly stood up and lifted up his pants. The girl quickly apologized and came out. After walking three or five steps, she saw another door and was heartbroken. I thought this was the women's toilet. When I went in, I saw that it was the other door of the toilet just now. The man was squatting down again. When he saw the girl entering, the man was shocked, angry and frightened. He stood up and screamed. Shouting: "Who are you! What are you going to do!" The girl ran back to the dormitory in one breath, almost out of breath...

I remember when I was in high school, I saw a good friend shopping outside the school gate. As you know, I often got hungry when I used my brain too much in high school. I immediately ran up to him and punched him, then took his piece of cake and took a bite of it. I even cursed and said, "I'm really not very energetic." , they didn’t take me to buy a cake, but before I could swallow a bite of the cake, I looked up and realized I had mistakenly identified the person, so forget it, I actually said I was sorry and took a bite of the big cake. He stuffed it into the man's hand and ran away. The whole process was completed in one go! ! !

I remember when I ran back to the school gate and looked back, the man was still standing in front of the stall, holding the big cake with a gap in his hand in a daze. Even now, sometimes I can’t help but beat myself up when I think about this! ! ! !

In my freshman year, I went to the cafeteria to make buns. Unexpectedly, there was something wrong with the card slitting machine. I scratched out 25 yuan and 3. The brother who sold the buns after tinkering for a long time couldn't add it back, so he pitifully added it. He said, "It's okay. I remember you and will come here often until the extra money is used up." I had no choice but to agree.

It’s a pity that I ate steamed buns one meal after another for a whole semester. Brother Baozi still owes me 2 yuan and 3 yuan... The most annoying thing is that I didn’t find a girlfriend in four years of college! ! !

Until graduation, one day I was walking on the campus boulevard, and I heard a group of girls behind me pointing and whispering: "Yes, that's him! Don't find a boyfriend like this every day in the future. You don’t get paid to eat steamed buns in the second cafeteria!”

Let me tell you about my personal experience:

A familiar customer asked us to design a product for his company. The outer packaging box of TT, and brought some TT packaging boxes of different brands for our reference.

Because this thing is relatively sensitive, everyone is very careful to maintain a kind of caution of Communist Party members in front of spies. Their faces and expressions are serious, just like designing any food packaging box. The calmness comes.

Only the two clients present were married, and we were all still unmarried.

I looked through the packaging boxes of different brands and chatted with customers: "These are your agency brands, many of them are very famous. Well, I have seen all of them." "Then he picked up a box he had never seen before and said something like this inadvertently: "Ah, I have never used this brand before..."

55555~~First of all, I am unmarried. , followed by gender: female.

I wanted to disappear on the spot, everyone acted like they didn’t hear what I said...

One time I asked my deskmate if he had any tissues. , she didn’t know why she suddenly answered: I have sanitary napkins. Suddenly the whole class was silent, I was sweating violently... and said: Keep it for yourself, I won't need it anyway...

My 7-year-old niece insisted on taking a bath with me, and kept talking while washing me. : "Auntie, why are your breasts so small?" I sweated wildly: "Why are they small? Why are they small?!" My little niece looked at me pitifully and comforted: "It's okay, mine is small too..."

I went to the countryside for an inspection yesterday, which really made me feel proud!

That day, the two of us were watching the growth of crops on the path in the field, and saw a group of foreigners in the distance. I was gesticulating around a local farmer. Out of curiosity, I quietly walked not far behind them to hear what they had to say.

Those foreigners (probably Americans) ), while flipping through a booklet similar to an English-Chinese dictionary, using a very non-standard Chinese pronunciation: how, I, arrive, peripheral...

I thought, oh, I should be asking Lu. I am very curious about what our farmer brother said when he saw a foreigner.

The farmer brother looked at a loss. I thought, alas, the elder brother’s comprehension ability is too low?

The foreigner said Seeing that he didn't understand, he became even more anxious: WE, me, everyone, go, go, I want...

The farmer brother still looked confused...

The foreigner became even more anxious and began to stamp his feet and sweat...

At this time, the farmer in his fifties said something to the group of dancing Americans that made me feel that I had gained something from this inspection trip to the countryside. The biggest sentence: can you speak english?

I went out alone on weekends and ran rampant on the mountain roads in the forest in the suburbs. Suddenly I felt the need to relieve myself, so I followed a well-known path to find a bush clearing to get out. Walking to a pit, he took off his belt and squatted down. Of course I didn't forget to look around and take out the spare toilet paper beforehand.

Halfway through the queue, I suddenly heard a swishing sound nearby. I was surprised to find a girl in yellow doing the same thing 2 meters behind me! They looked at each other and were shocked! Both sides looked panicked! In a hurry, I was so nervous that I cut off half of it on the spot! They hurriedly turned around, but when they faced each other, they felt even more stunned! In a panic, the toilet paper fell off and landed on the half-length that had been pulled down! ! ! . . . . .

Despite everything, he picked up his pants and ran away. . . Extremely embarrassing. . .

This is a real thing that happened to my friend... Once, he had dinner at his girlfriend's house. At that time, there were only three of him, his girlfriend and his girlfriend's father.

At this time, a program teaching senior disco dancing was being played on TV, and the uncle who was leading the dance looked very BT. At this time, his girlfriend jokingly said to him: "Hey?! Why does this man look so like your dad? Haha." At that time, my friend was eating a big meal. Without thinking, he yelled loudly: "Looks like your dad!!!"... After that, there was silence in the room for 3 minutes.

When my classmates and I passed by the fruit stall in the cafeteria after dinner yesterday, I saw the cucumbers piled high on the fruit stall and suddenly exclaimed nervously: "Hey, these days, lovers It’s hard to sell more cucumbers.”

I spit out the coke that was in my mouth. Many people looked back at my classmate, who was actually calm and composed! What's even more funny is that there happened to be a girl who was buying cucumbers at that time. When he heard this, his face suddenly turned pale. The cucumbers in his hands were neither buying nor buying. I quickly dragged my classmate and slipped out of the cafeteria... My classmate forced me ah.

The company organized a trip to Huangshan. When passing by a toilet, a colleague wanted to go in and relieve himself. It happened that several foreigners also went in with him. I hadn't waited outside for half a minute when I saw my colleagues running out in a panic.

"Can it be done so quickly?"

The colleague looked like he was crying and replied: "Oh, I really can't do anything! Avoid it first, avoid it first..."

Everyone who has been to McDonald's or KFC knows that after you order your meal, the salesperson will announce your order loudly.

The last time I was in line at McDonald's, the girl in front of me said to the salesperson: "I want a chicken nugget."

The salesperson replied loudly:

"Do you want a piece of chicken manure? Eat it here or take it away?"

One day, the water was turned on in the workplace canteen. I accidentally splashed water on my hand. A girl behind me took my hand and asked with concern: "Are your hands burned?" Although it hurt, in order to show my manliness, I gritted my teeth and said, "It's okay, it's okay." Pretending to be nonchalant. MM suddenly turned around and said to the people in line behind her, "Go back, the water is not boiling today."

One day, my friend and I went out to cheat, and the slippers he was wearing, when we passed the construction site, He was walking slowly, and suddenly a kind-hearted migrant worker brother stopped him and said: It's time to eat.

When I was in college, there was a student meeting one day. The class teacher wanted the sports committee member to count all the girls in the class. So he said to the sports committee member (a lustful boy): Go and clear out the girls in the class. The sports committee member was flattered and asked in a low voice: Which one should I kiss first...? The teacher thought for a while and said: Of course, by student number!

At that time I was dating a young man named Jiang Wei. One day, I called him and asked him when he would pick me up from get off work. A man answered the phone. I asked him: "Is Jiang Er (my usual nickname) here?" He replied: "I am, who are you?" I said: "That's me." The person on the phone said seriously that he didn't know me and asked me if I had dialed the wrong number. I thought this must be Jiang Wei joking with me, and he said jokingly: "I'm Li An, do you remember the girl who slept in your bed every day last month?" There was silence on the other end of the phone. After a while, he replied: "I'm sorry, I'm Lao Jiang. I'm going to ask my son to answer the phone." "..."

Last Monday, the company sent me to Hangzhou on a business trip. As soon as I checked into the hotel, I received a call from my wife

Wife: Husband, something bad is going on. Today, several thieves broke into our community, and our home was also patronized.

I jumped up and asked: Did you lose something? Did you call the police?

Wife: The house was turned into a mess, and the 1,000 yuan in the closet was gone.

Me: What else was lost?

Wife: I was cleaning up, and the police came to see me this afternoon.

My wife heard my anxiety and quickly comforted me: Fortunately, the thieves have been caught by the police. Now let each family report the stolen items as soon as possible.

I breathed a sigh of relief and quickly ordered my wife: Go and look at the wedding photo hanging by the bedside. There is a red envelope attached with double-sided tape behind the frame.

My wife put down the phone.

Two minutes later, Q: I took off the frame and looked at it, but there was nothing.

(Such magical and unpredictable places can be found. It seems that what I encountered today is no ordinary thief.)

I quickly asked my wife to go to the bathroom to take a look: the toilet water tank There is a crack on the side against the wall, and a plastic bag has been stuffed in it. Check to see if it's still there.

Ten minutes later, my wife called: No, did you remember the wrong place?

I said anxiously: Impossible. I also checked before going on a business trip. A total of 4,000 yuan, all in serial-numbered new hundred-dollar bills. That was deducted from the technical innovation award given to me by the company last year.

Is that all, is there anything else you forgot? My wife asked on the phone.

No more, only these 6,000 yuan. You must clearly explain the characteristics of the money to the police. I reminded my wife.

The wife sneered and said: Okay. Thank you for your excellent performance in this home burglary drill.

When I was living on campus in high school, we ate together in the dormitory with lunch boxes. One of the brothers ate slowly. After everyone finished eating, they started to torture him with all kinds of nausea and phlegm, not to mention the sticky phlegm in his stool and urine. The guy was still eating with gusto, and when he had the last few mouthfuls, he said slowly, "Actually, I'm not afraid of anything when I eat. You pull the thing into my lunch box, I push the thing to one side, and I eat the other side without missing a beat, but the condition is It can't be too thin, because the soup will seep through, so I can't eat it anymore... After eating it, some of the guys couldn't stand it and vomited...

It's absolutely true. If it affects xdjm's appetite, I can only apologize.

Mr. B went shopping with two buddies. B and one of them were looking at sporting goods, and the other was looking at CDs. A long time passed, and Mr. B suddenly remembered the buddy named Wen, so he shouted: "Where is Brother Wen, where is Brother Wen, where is Brother Wen?" Until the shopping guide girl from the women's clothing counter next door walked towards them with a smile, They suddenly realized it and slipped away with a "swish".

I received a text message from a friend yesterday:

Although you are not a woman, you are a woman's product. Happy Women’s Day!

Han is alone.

When I was in middle school, our classroom had two doors. The back door was always closed, so the classmate by the door dug a small hole in the door. When I looked outside during the self-study class every day, if I saw the class teacher When I came, I told everyone to be quiet and hide their extracurricular books.

One day in the self-study class, I saw the head teacher walking into the classroom angrily, with something that looked like phlegm and snot hanging from his eyes, and walked straight to the table of the last row of students near the door, deep in his heart. He took a deep sip of phlegm and spit it into the classmate's face. It turned out that that classmate was spitting out of the small hole on the back door. The class teacher happened to be observing the self-study situation through the small hole, and was hit in the eye by a sudden drop of phlegm.

This incident is super classic. When I was in high school, the couple, classmates Z (female) and Q (male), were placed by the teacher at the first table at the door and the other at the last table diagonally. , but this pair still passed notes every day, because the distance was too far, so they just threw them. One day, I don’t know why, Q threw a piece of paper over with a "swish", and our teacher just came in, and it hit the teacher directly. The teacher picked up the paper and kicked Q hard. He opened the note and read out, "I asked you to pass it on every day. Let me see what you have passed on here!"

This is what the note said

"Z, you said that we pass notes like this every day. It would be fun if it hits the teacher one day."

The senior mathematics teacher looks like a matchstick. He has a idiom that when doing math problems on the blackboard, he always likes to use the sentence "Attention, I'm going to..." to remind everyone to pay attention.

That day, we encountered a question that we couldn't figure out for a long time. Mr. Gao became anxious: "Just change it! Everyone, pay attention, I am going to transform." - Everyone wait.

I first came to Guangdong to make a living after graduating from college. I finally got an interview with a company and was told that I had to go to the hospital to experience and pass the test before I could go to work. That day, I came to the hospital to experience it early in the morning without having breakfast. It was a blood draw, a high blood test, and so on. Later, I had to do a chest X-ray. In fact, this experience had been done before, so it was not a big deal. The doctor called me my name, and I rushed in quickly, because the person who was doing the experience It was too much. But after I sat down for a minute, a machine scanned my chest. Normally, it should be OK. When I got up, I suddenly heard the doctor say "smile". Hey~~ I was confused and took a picture. I had to smile during the chest fluoroscopy, and I thought: Maybe Guangdong’s medical level is more advanced. I pretended to be calm, smiled slightly, and then looked at the doctor. Unexpectedly, the doctor stared at me fiercely and said again: "Smile." At that time, I thought to myself: Could it be that my smile was not sweet enough? I had no choice but to smile sweetly again. At the same time, I was complaining in my heart: Is there something wrong with this doctor? He asked me to smile a few times during a chest X-ray. It’s not a woman~~~ He can’t be interested in me!!! Just when I was wondering why the doctor treated me like this, someone next to me urged me: Hey, why are you doing this all the time? I still need to get checked. Ah, the doctor called you twice and said: Next, why are you like this? When I heard this, I fainted. It turned out that he was talking about the next one, not "smile", damn it, This doctor's Mandarin is too standard, alas~~~~~

One more thing:

In a community where I lived, there was a small shop downstairs, and the owner was a bit silly. There is also a "forbearance" tattooed on my wrist.

Once my brother and I went to buy a cup and fell in love with a big one and a small one. We forgot how much he wanted at the beginning and got a discount. , and finally my brother said, the big one costs 9 yuan, and the small one costs 6 yuan, right? The shop owner refused. He said, "In that case, I won't make a penny. The big one costs 10 yuan, which is the lowest. How about this? The small one costs 6 yuan." I'll give you another two yuan, so I'll give you five yuan, okay?

We bought it.

I remember that in middle school, a classmate sat at the back because he was close to it. There was only a small hole in the back door, and the classmate often looked out through the hole.

One night during self-study, the classmate looked out again and found something blocking his sight, so he used his hands to think about it. After he opened the door, the class teacher was shouting, "Ah!"

It turned out that it was the class teacher who was looking at the situation in the class through the hole.

When I was in junior high school, there was a classmate who was very good. He was either late or would fall asleep as soon as class started and didn't wake up until get out of class was over. One day, he was ten minutes late. When the math teacher saw him, he said, "You can't." Be late again, otherwise you will not get enough sleep! ”

One more thing... One time I went out to buy something. It happened to be most of the off-duty time, and many workers in a factory came out on bicycles... They all rode bicycles from I passed by.~

I didn’t know what I was thinking at the time. Suddenly I saw the back seat of a bicycle. I sat on it without thinking. (It’s quite natural.)

A man in the car... turned around and said, "What are you doing?" I said, "Nothing!" The man was so surprised that he couldn't speak. I suddenly remembered something and jumped out of the car. He held his chest and said, "You scared me to death!" The man looked aggrieved and said, "You scared me to death!"

After that! He ran away with a red face...passers-by laughed wildly... .!

My favorite teacher took us out to the garden to sketch, but we were stung by a bee. When the handsome male teacher saw my hand, he exclaimed, "It's swollen like this!" "I squeezed and rubbed hard, and it hurt so much that I almost cried. Finally, I took out my other hand and said, "Teacher, my hand is not swollen, it was born like this!" ”

I was driven to the park on a bicycle by the boy I liked, but I found that my shoes were lost halfway.

Once in high school, after doing radio gymnastics, I bought a meat bun and ate it while running happily to the teaching building (usually after the radio gymnastics was over, hundreds of people in the school would rush to the teaching building. In case you are late for the next class, the scene is quite spectacular^), I ran to a step, jumped up like a little white rabbit... and ended up... falling flat on my face... with a mouthful of steamed buns in my mouth. The buns all sprayed all over the floor, and most of the Roujiamo in my hand was thrown far away... Under the attention of hundreds of classmates around me, I calmly stood up and walked towards the Roujiamo thrown out in the distance, and picked it up. I got up and continued walking and eating toward the teaching building... In fact, I was pretending to be calm. At that time, my heart was... surging... sweat

Once I was driving a bus, and from On the back door of the car, I stood and prepared to buy a ticket. I also took something with my other hand, but I didn’t grab anything. Just when I was taking the money, the car suddenly braked suddenly, and I suddenly stopped. The back door rushed to the front door near the driver's seat and I fell flat on my back. The people in the car (although there were not many) looked at me and tried their best not to laugh. I had an idea and said to the driver: "Brother, you are looking for me. ?”

Everyone in the car laughed

As for a classmate, there was a sports meeting once. Classmate A saw that he was almost late, so he ran wildly and met classmate B riding his bike. So I asked Yi to carry it. B answered: No gate. A is sitting on the beam of B. When he encounters a red light, B lets go and jumps out from behind the car. Only A was left, sitting on the beam, holding the handle of the car, and rushed through the red light under the watchful eyes of the police...

MM came to my dormitory for the first time and saw the cup I was using to brush my teeth upside down. On the windowsill, I was curious...

MM: "How weird, why does the cup you use to brush your teeth still have a mud lid?"

Then he twisted and twisted hard, and finally I was The bottom of the cup was violently removed, 555...

MM was confused: "This thing has no bottom! How do you usually brush your teeth?"

Go one at a time There are two people in front of the ATM machine to withdraw money.

After a person puts his bank card in, he says to the ATM machine in Sichuan dialect: Withdraw two hundred yuan.

After a while, the two of them saw that the machine did not respond, so they lowered their heads and whispered. Then, they heard another person say to the ATM machine in Mandarin: I will withdraw two hundred yuan...

When I was still in military training during my freshman year, there was a girl in the same dormitory who had a crush on a boy in the class. However, the boy treated everyone like that and never noticed the girl's feelings. He also had scandals with other girls from time to time. One night after the lights were turned off, people in our dormitory started chatting again. I wonder if the girl had been depressed for too long, and suddenly shouted: I like XXX so much. Let me explain first that we live on the first floor. Who knew that a voice came from outside the window, and it was the boy, asking: Who is calling me? It was really scary at the time. The entire dormitory was still having a lively discussion and then fell into endless silence. It took another five seconds for everyone to burst into laughter. The girl was so embarrassed that she didn't dare to speak again all night. But everyone said they were destined to be married, and now they are finally married. Decades later, when you look back on it, it will feel wonderful, right?

When I was in college, it was very hot in the summer. Every day after class, the boys would go to the toilet and take a cold shower. One afternoon I ran back from get out of class to take a shower. After washing, I ran all the way back to the dormitory naked without taking a towel. I was wiping my hair with my back to the door when someone knocked on the door. I thought it was my roommate who also skipped class and came back, so I shouted: "The door is unlocked, come in!!" I heard a thud, and then there was no movement. When I turned around, I saw the door opened and there was a watermelon on the ground. Without thinking, I just picked it up and walked in without closing the door. If you don’t have a knife, just break it open with your hands and eat it while holding it. At this time I heard someone coming and I looked up. After a while, a head popped out of the door. It was his roommate and his girlfriend. We looked at each other for three seconds before realizing that I wasn't even dressed yet, so I immediately blocked it with the half of a watermelon in my hand. I saw the girl timidly saying: "I bought that watermelon and I want to take it away." I was dizzy! ! It turned out that she was the one who knocked on the door just now. When she opened the door and saw that I was naked, she turned around and ran away. I ran out and remembered that I had left the watermelon on the ground, so I ran back to get it.

Last week I went to take a shower in the school's new bathroom. I went there early in the morning. I was the only one in the locker room at that time. I had almost taken off my clothes, and a guy with long hair came in. I happened to have my back to her at the time, and I wasn’t wearing glasses. I thought she was another alternative rock contestant, so I didn’t pay attention. Then the more I thought about it, the more wrong I felt. I quickly found my glasses and wiped off the mist. Just when she had finished taking off her top, my God, I was so excited. Then I stood there and watched her take off all her clothes. She didn't even notice me (I Her hair is also relatively long, and she was often mistaken for a girl when she was a child, and now she is sometimes mistaken for a girl when she has long hair). Later, she felt it was too much, so I called her, "Classmate, this is the boys' bathroom!" I still remember her. Then there was a nervous dressing show. Later, when she was putting on shoes, another boy came in. When he saw her, he looked at me again with a blank expression. Thinking about it now

This morning, a female colleague sitting at the door of the department forgot to bring her badge. A male colleague who just came in noticed it and immediately pointed at her excitedly and shouted: You didn’t bring it. bra! You're not wearing a bra! ~~~~~~~~Oh God, it was quiet in the office, terrible quiet. After a minute, I could only hear the stifled laughter of porridge, porridge. Please forgive us, everyone is holding it in very hard~~~~ ~~~~~~

When I was a sophomore in high school, ten minutes before the lights went out in the dormitory one night, I was lying on the bed in a daze, and suddenly there was a strange feeling in my stomach. I had a premonition: a fart was coming. So I wanted to take advantage of myself Then he shouted to Wei Zai, "Wow, what is that on my butt? Is it a spider? Please help me see it. It bites me so painfully." I don't know if Wei Zai did it in his previous life. What a good thing, when he was about to take off my quilt, Xiaogang got there first. He took off my quilt and put his head towards my butt. "Bang" a huge fart came out, followed by "pop, pop" ( My PP was beaten) and then what happened!!!~~~~The whole room burst into laughter~~~~~~~~~~

It happened last semester, we had a class The two classes combined were in a very large lecture hall. There were about a hundred people that day. During class, my buddy and one of his friends sat in the last row.

His friend: Hey, hey

Brother: What are you doing?

His friend: What should I do, I want to fart?

Brother: Then let me fart.

His friend: That’s not possible. What if I make a sound and let others hear it?

Brother: Then, when I count to three, I will hit the table, and when I hit the table, you will let go. , others can’t hear it!

His friend: Okay, then you count

Brother: 1, 2, 3! (Slaps the table) "Pop"!

My buddy banged the table. The sound was so loud that everyone in the class turned to look. At this moment, his friend farted with a "Bang!"~~

全The class was quiet for 2 seconds, and then the roof of the classroom almost came off...