Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - Aunt Li’s entry into the city
Aunt Li’s entry into the city
Aunt Li received a call from her son, saying that her daughter-in-law was about to give birth and that her son would take her to the city to attend the confinement period.
She was so beautiful that she promoted it wherever she went, and she was going to the city. People in the village looked at her with envy. Aunt Li's eyes were so bright that she felt like a breeze when she walked on the street, and she was humming a little tune.
In fact, she had been longing for her daughter-in-law to have a son. In an era when family planning was very strict, Aunt Li's mind was also influenced by the idea that "there are three unfilial piety factors: not having children is the worst."
Aunt Li’s son Li Li works in a bank in the city, and her daughter-in-law Xiao Xu is a primary school teacher. The income for two people is not bad.
As Xiao Xu’s delivery approaches, Aunt Li’s schedule begins to count down. The night before leaving, Uncle Li packed Aunt Li's medicine into a package and put it aside, packed a package of specialties for his son and wife, prepared a package of clothes and diapers for the child, and finally prepared a package for the future. The grandson or granddaughter's meeting wallet is best sewn into a close-fitting purse. Aunt Li repeatedly told Uncle Li to take medicine on time and to cook meals alone at home. If the clothes get dirty, wash them in a semi-automatic washing machine. The old couple hugged each other like newlyweds about to say goodbye. Chatted all night long.
The next day, her son Li Li drove home, and Aunt Li sat in the passenger seat of the car early like a married bride. When waving goodbye to my wife, my wife said: "Work more when you go and talk less. Don't get fat and let people laugh at you as if you have never been out."
Aunt Li agreed one by one. . As Li Li's car started, Aunt Li didn't let her son close the window until she saw Uncle Li's figure turning into a small black dot.
The son walked around to the underground parking lot downstairs and parked the car. When Aunt Li got out of the car, the lights in the parking lot came on.
There were more than a dozen bags, large and small, taken out from the trunk. As he took them out, his son nagged: "What are these for? They are all worthless things." Aunt Li happily took out each bag. He put a bag on his arm and said: "The local eggs are laid by the chickens I raised myself to ensure that my wife is nutritious and healthy after eating them; my grandson's diapers are made from a pair of my pants, and they are made by my children." Bags are good for you. It’s a custom in our hometown.”
The son ignored Aunt Li’s words, and he took a few heavier bags and took Aunt Li to the elevator.
After ringing the doorbell, daughter-in-law Xiao Xu opened the door.
Aunt Li entered the house and couldn't wait to ask Xiao Xu if he had eaten. What to eat. Xiao Xu dealt with one thing after another. She sat on the sofa and looked at her mobile phone.
Li Li made several bowls of noodles, and Aunt Li sat down and ate two bowls. Xiao Xu only ate half the bowl with a full stomach.
Aunt Li asked why she ate so little. The nutrition could not keep up with the growth of the child.
Xiao Xu said nothing. Li Li explained: "I went to the hospital for a checkup last week. The doctor said the fetus was too big and told him not to eat too much."
Aunt Li was very puzzled. She was afraid of eating when she was pregnant at that time. Shao, now I say the opposite of everything. "After the meal, Aunt Li took the initiative to wash the dishes and pots.
When I was going to bed at night, my son came over and said, "Mom, I asked you to come here early. The main reason is that my company arranged for me to go to Hunan on a business trip for two months. It was a secondment. , you can be promoted to Section Chief when you come back. Xiao Xu's mother-in-law asked her sister-in-law to see if the child could not come, so she discussed with her and called you here. I'm afraid that she will be alone, and that there will be no one around when she gives birth."
Aunt Li said simply: "My own grandson, a boy and a girl, can't bother Xiao Xu's mother. I have already prepared to serve Xiao Xu, so you can go without worries. ”
The next morning, Li Li took his luggage and went to Hunan.
Xiao Xu was not at home for lunch, so he took breakfast to the work. There were only three meals a day. Dinner is to be eaten at home. She said she was not eating at home, but she actually had to prepare two meals for the next day the night before.
Aunt Li made dinner for two people every day and started preparing Xiao Xu’s. Breakfast and lunch the next day.
Xiao Xu, who was about to give birth, could not eat outside because she felt nauseated.
When her son was not at home, her mother-in-law and daughter-in-law lived under the same roof. Dinner is the only time we have sex together at the same dining table. Even then, our daughter-in-law Xiao Xu doesn't like to talk much. She only looks at her phone when eating every day, and she also takes her phone when she goes to the toilet.
On weekends, Xiao Xu slept until midnight. Aunt Li did not dare to eat breakfast alone at the dining table, let alone knock on her door.
A week passed, and she called the old man to express her depressed emotions. Uncle Li criticized her: "Don't have feudal ideas. A mother-in-law cannot bully her daughter-in-law. She can do whatever she likes with her family. Don't meddle in other people's business. See if there are fellow villagers in your neighbors. Go out and have sex with your neighbors and get some fresh air." ."
While her daughter-in-law was at work, Aunt Li met a fellow villager of the same age, Aunt Wang.
Auntie Wang, a fellow villager, scolded her daughter-in-law without saying a few words when she saw her. She was greedy, lazy, and spent money indiscriminately.
Aunt Li wanted to say how bad her daughter-in-law Xiao Xu was, but she chose not to say it.
One time when my daughter-in-law went to work, Aunt Wang came to visit. Aunt Li brought out melon seeds to serve, and Aunt Wang vomited melon seed peels all over the floor. Coincidentally, Xiao Xu came back from work early that day and encountered melon seed peels all over the floor. Xiao Xu's face looked a little ugly.
Although Aunt Li quickly cleaned up. However, during the entire dinner time, Xiao Xu's face was so gloomy that he could squeeze water out of his eyes.
My son called her in the evening. He said, Mom, the city is not the countryside, so don’t let strangers come to play in your home.
Aunt Li quickly apologized and promised again and again not to let outsiders into her home next time. She didn't dare to make her pregnant daughter-in-law angry.
Then her son said something that made Aunt Li want to go to the countryside.
My son said, Mom, you don’t have to wash pots and dishes anymore. Xiao Xu said that if you can't wash it clean, just use the dishwasher.
Aunt Li discovered this black iron lump when she entered the kitchen for the first time. But she doesn’t know a single Chinese character, so she can’t use it.
Li Li said: Xiao Xu knows how to use it, let her teach you.
Aunt Li spent another week in frustration.
My son suddenly came back early. Xiao Xu's face looked better.
When Aunt Li saw her son coming back, she packed her luggage silently. After dinner, she said to her son and daughter-in-law: "Xiao Xu is going to give birth in half a month, you hire a confinement nanny." Well. I can't see well, and I'm afraid I won't be able to clean the diapers. Your father and I will pay for the nanny. I only eat here and don't do any work. I can't even do the dishes. Let me go. , I’m not worried about your father being alone at home.”
My daughter-in-law, Xiao Xu, has no intention of staying.
The next day, Aunt Li insisted on taking the bus back home.
The old couple chatted in the evening. Uncle Li said: "It's only been more than a month since you left, and I haven't seen you gain weight."
Aunt Li said: "I feel like I'm in jail every day, and my daughter-in-law has a droopy face every day. Son I'm not here, and he's not in charge. I'm afraid I'll get sick if I can't bear it." Uncle Li felt sorry for the old woman, and he said, "If you marry a wife, you will be blind. It's not as good as our own straw nest. We can still plant two acres of land and let them hire a nanny. Don't worry about it for the rest of your life."
Aunt Li said from that year. At first, she paid the nanny fee for her son to hire a nanny to look after her grandson. Even if Xiao Xu called her to invite her to her son's house in the city, Aunt Li wouldn't go.
She said that what was good about the city was that they lived in lattice cages, ate public grains handed over by the country people, ate vegetables and fruits that had been treated with pesticides, and the water they drank was not hygienic. It is said that the water comes from the reservoir. The reservoir has no cover, can it be cleaned? City people just pretend to be clean.
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