What does ferryman mean (meaning to be your own ferryman quietly)

In the adult world, everyone is often a "clay Bodhisattva".

If destiny is a lonely river, who will be the ferryman of your soul?

This is a sentence in the novel "The Ferryman", and it is also a soul question worth pondering.

What is a ferryman?

As the name suggests, it is the boatman who ferries at the pier, using boats to transport people on one side of the river to the other side of the river.

After understanding what a ferryman is, it is not difficult to understand the ferryman in life. They often refer to those noble people who appear in life, those who help us tide over difficulties.

I believe that no one does not hope to meet a few more noble people and a few more ferry people in life.

However, if a person is mature enough, he will understand:

Many things are hard to come by, and the best ferryman in life is often ourselves. It is better to ask for others than to ask for oneself, and it is better to rely on oneself than to rely on others.

Su Dongpo and Zen Master Foyin were good friends.

Once, the two of them visited Lingyin Temple in Hangzhou. Su Dongpo saw Avalokitesvara Bodhisattva in the main hall with rosary beads hanging in his hands, and found it strange.

Su Dongpo asked Zen Master Foyin: "Everyone in the world is chanting the name of Guanyin Bodhisattva, hoping to get her protection. Why is she also hanging a string of rosary beads on her hand? Whose name is she chanting? ?

Zen Master Foyin said: "It is also to recite Guanyin Bodhisattva. "

This answer made Su Dongpo even more puzzled. Why does Avalokitesvara Bodhisattva want to remember herself?

Zen Master Foyin explained that because she knows better than the world, it is better to ask for yourself than to ask for others. It is better to rely on yourself than to rely on others.

Truly mature people, those who have truly seen the world, often have this understanding.

1. Even if others want to ferry you, you may not really be able to get on the boat.

In the movie "The Pursuit of Happiness", little Christopher gives to his father. He told a joke:

One day, a man was drowning in the water. A boat came over and asked him if he needed help.

He replied, No, thank you, God will come to save me.

Not long after, another boat came over and asked if he needed help. The man who fell into the water still declined with the same answer.

Later, the man who fell into the water drowned and went to heaven. He asked God, God, why didn't you save me?

God said, I have sent two big ships over, idiot! < /p>

Many times, even if you are lucky enough to meet a ferryman and someone who wants to help you and give you a hand, you may not actually be able to get ashore.

Instead of asking for the noble person to show up. , why don’t you be so stupid that you can’t see or catch someone who is helping you?

2. There is really no empathy in this world.

When we are sad, we will find someone to talk to, hoping that the other person can understand your joys and sorrows.

But I want to pour cold water on you. There are real feelings in this world, but there is no empathy.

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Some things you think are very important, the other person may think they are ordinary; some pain, you feel heartbreaking and heartbreaking, the other person may think it is insignificant...

If you have not experienced it personally, you will often not have the same feelings. Even if you have experienced it together, your feelings may not be the same.

I am not telling you not to talk to others, but I hope you can understand. :

All suffering must be borne by yourself in the end; all pain must be digested by yourself. Instead of seeking to meet a close friend, it is better to seek to become stronger.

3. There is a reality that few people wish you well.

Everyone hopes that there will be more truth, kindness and beauty in this world, but I am not pessimistic. In this world, I really wish you a better life. There are not many good people.

And more realistically, the more people around you, the less likely they are to see you.

There is a "crab effect" in management. That is to say, if there is only one crab in the bamboo basket, the lid of the bamboo basket needs to be closed, because the crab will crawl out, but if there is only one crab in the bamboo basket, If there are multiple crabs, there is no need to cover them, as they cannot crawl out.

Why can’t they crawl out even if there are too many?

Because when multiple crabs are together, each one wants to climb out. If a crab climbs up, the crab below will use its two large claws to pull it down and step on it. Climbing up their bodies, refusing to give in to each other.

People are often like this. In many cases, instead of hoping to meet a noble person, it is better to hope not to meet a villain who will cause trouble.

4. In the adult world, everyone is often a "clay Buddha".

It is a very realistic situation that whatever level a person is at, most of the people around him are often at the same level.

As the saying goes, when a clay Bodhisattva crosses a river, he cannot protect himself.

Sometimes when you ask for help from others and they don’t lend a helping hand, it may not necessarily mean that they don’t want to help you or be a ferryman. It’s often due to practical reasons and they are powerless.

I think one of the signs of a person becoming mature is that he can slowly understand the people and things he encounters in life, and he is transparent, rational and gentle.

Those who are truly mature will eventually become the ferrymen in their lives silently. Be your own ferryman and do everything by yourself.

There is a saying in the movie "Farewell My Concubine": People have to fulfill themselves.

Whether we live a good or bad life in this life, the decision-making power often lies in our own hands. This is why I say that mature people are the ferrymen in their own lives.

How can we sail through this life reliably?

In other words, I think there are a few main points on how we can become a reliable ferryman.

1. Be a mentally strong person.

Whether you are in a high position or in the gutter, no matter what stage or level you are in, you will definitely encounter various critical attacks and encounter many bad things. This is the reality. life.

This process is inevitable for everyone, but everyone's final situation is different. Some people survive, and some are knocked to the ground.

For the rest of your life, please cultivate your heart and be a person with a strong heart. Don’t be emotional, don’t give up easily, and don’t be glassy.

Don’t complain around when something happens, and don’t divulge your heart to everyone. For adults, self-digestion is often more reliable than talking.

2. Be a financially independent person.

Zhang Ailing said, I like money because I have never suffered from money and I don’t know the disadvantages of money. I only know the advantages of money.

People can live in this world without a lot of money, but they really cannot be short of money. If you have ever suffered from no money, you will understand the pain and helplessness of a penny that can stump a heroic man.

For the rest of your life, please be a financially independent person. Don’t pretend that you don’t like money, and don’t find any high-sounding reasons for living in a muddleheaded way.

Only when you are financially independent can you often be independent in personality, live with confidence and dignity, and spend the rest of your life better.

3. Be a self-disciplined person.

Only a self-disciplined life will truly lead to freedom.

I believe in cause and effect. If you want to have a happy and relaxed rest of your life, don’t overdraft your comfort in the first half of your life; if you want to have a healthy body, don’t overdraft your health and ruin yourself...

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For the rest of your life, be a self-disciplined person, control your laziness, control your willfulness, and control everything that makes you move downwards.

4. Be an open-minded person with a rich soul.

At the end of life, you will find that the measure of a person's happiness and success is not money and power, but whether his soul is interesting and rich.

If your cultivation and practice cannot control wealth and power, and if you cannot face the people and things that come into your life well, then it will be difficult for your life to truly have quality.

For the rest of your life, be a person with a rich soul, a full spirit, and a clear heart.

Haruki Murakami said, you have to be a calm adult. You are not allowed to be emotional, you are not allowed to miss secretly, you are not allowed to look back, and you are not allowed to live another life.

On the road to the future, I hope that we will all grow quietly, work hard, and make a good transition in life.

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