Projection effect: the others you see in your eyes may be yourself in your eyes.

Once upon a time, a countryman lost an axe. He thought it was a neighbor's son who stole it, so he paid attention to what the man said and did everywhere. The more he looked at it, the more he felt that he looked like a thief stealing an axe. Later, the man who lost the axe found it. It turned out that a few days ago when he went up the mountain to cut wood, he accidentally fell into the valley. After finding the axe, he met his neighbor's son again. If you look at him carefully, you won't look like a thief.

This is the story of a suspicious neighbor stealing an axe.

There are many such things in life.

People who haggle over every ounce think that everyone in the world is stingy;

Broad-minded people think that everyone is generous;

People who often calculate others think that there are countless backstabbing behind everyone;

A quick-tempered person thinks everyone is a powder keg. ...

We often have the illusion that we habitually analyze and judge others by what we think and see, thinking that the other person is the same.

0 1 What you think does not represent what others think.

Recently, a video about Tik Tok was very popular.

It's called "the drink in your mother's eyes".

"You should drink less coke. Drinking will cause calcium loss, and touching it will break the bone. "

"Red Bull, Dope, Drunk and Insanity"

"Coffee, hormones, will mutate and grow five heads."

"Juice, pigments and brain tumors make people stupid."

"Green tea, all additives, all additives, went to the toilet 500 times."

"Boiled water is the elixir of life"

Although this is a joke, it reflects one thing. Parents always impose their ideas on us.

This is called "self-projection" in psychology.

So what is self-projection?

To put it simply, self-projection is the tendency to unconsciously project one's thoughts, preferences and personality onto others like a projector, feeling that the other person should have the same thoughts and preferences as oneself and attribute his own characteristics to others.

Take the joke above as an example. When parents think that all drinks except boiled water are harmful, they will unconsciously project their aversion to drinks on us and think that we should also refuse and resist drinks.

But many times, your own thoughts don't represent others' thoughts.

The biggest obstacle between people is misunderstanding.

This is still a joke of Tik Tok.

A couple, the boy said to the girl, "Baby, I'm going to bed".

What this girl thinks is

"It's only eleven o'clock, and he's going to sleep?"

"He stays up late every day and goes to bed so early today."

"When we are together, we chat all night and are inseparable."

"I haven't talked for a long time recently, and I said that I should stay with me no matter how late."

"Of course he doesn't love me."

The more girls think about it, the angrier they get. She said to her boyfriend, "Break up! ! ! "

The boy looked puzzled after listening.

This is the second case of projection, which misinterprets the meaning of others.

Boyfriend is simply tired and wants to sleep, while girls think he sleeps because he doesn't love her anymore.

Although this is just a joke, it also reflects that it is easy for us to misinterpret the meaning of others in our lives.

There was once a famous experiment called Rorschach Ink Test.

The experimenter randomly drops a drop of ink on the paper and then folds the paper in half.

Then show the pattern to the people being tested and ask them what they see on this piece of paper.

Some people say butterflies, some say claws, some say tigers, and some even say it looks terrible.

In fact, these patterns themselves have no meaning, and their interpretation is a projection from inner thoughts.

When you see an ugly person, you feel that the other person is not a good person.

Seeing a female driver driving, I think women can't drive.

When someone inadvertently sees you, think they are hostile.

These are the external manifestations of projection.

Everyone's view of the world comes from inner projection.

Learn to use projection

Psychoanalyst Freud said that projection is a manifestation of self-defense.

Psychological defense mechanism refers to an operation to eliminate some unpleasant emotional factors from the consciousness level. It is a self-protection mechanism adopted by a person when dealing with various psychological conflicts arising from the outside world.

Therefore, projective identity is a self-protection mechanism first. This self-protection mechanism is mainly to protect individuals from internal uncomfortable emotions when they encounter external environment.

Projection can blame others for some evil thoughts or bad habits on yourself.

Taking others as our "scapegoats" makes us evade our due responsibilities and make our hearts peaceful.

To some extent, projection can reduce psychological stress and make us "feel better".

Proper projection, on the contrary, can provide great help to our mental health.

We can release the inner pressure through reasonable projection.

But if we use projection for a long time, it will easily affect our ability to observe and judge things, and it will also affect our interpersonal relationship with others, so we should learn to "enough is enough."

Projection can not only help us release stress, but also serve as a mirror to understand ourselves.

When we project our unacceptable personality, likes and dislikes on others, we actually subconsciously dislike them.

Therefore, we will unconsciously hate those who project our own characteristics.

After we understand this, projection becomes a good mirror, and we can find our own shortcomings.

We can take out a piece of paper and a pen, write down a person we hate in life, and then write down the reasons for hating him.

For example: sloppy, emotional, bad-tempered, stingy, complacent and so on.

When we finish writing about one person, we will change to another person and write down the reasons why we hate him. There will be some similarities in the reasons we write, and this similarity is probably our own shortcomings.

When we take the projection as a mirror, we will find that the person you hate is actually yourself you don't like.

When we perceive our own shortcomings through projection, we can consciously improve and correct our own shortcomings.

04 abstract

"Projection effect" is our instinct, and everyone can't avoid it.

But through reasonable use, it can help us better realize change and find our true self.