Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - How terrible is it to lead the civil servants in Song Dynasty? Look at the handsome operation of the four great gods in Song Dynasty.

How terrible is it to lead the civil servants in Song Dynasty? Look at the handsome operation of the four great gods in Song Dynasty.

# 1000 details restore the Song Dynasty #

Who commanded the war in Song Dynasty? Don't ask the military commander, but it's not that simple. In fact, it is often civilians who hold power in the army. It is not uncommon for civil servants to be leaders in the Song Dynasty, so what achievements can they make?

In October of the first year of Baoyuan (1038), Li Yuanhao, the leader of the Tangut, officially proclaimed himself the emperor and established Xixia, which was a war with the Song Dynasty.

In December, Song Renzong sent Xia Song, Secretary-General and Minister of Finance, to the northwest, where he was appointed as Fengning Army (now Xi 'an, Shaanxi Province) and Yongxing Army, and partnered with Fan Yong, the magistrate of Wei State, to deal with Li Yuanhao.

In the first month of the first year of Kangding (1040), Song Jun suffered a crushing defeat in Sanchuankou.

In May, Xia Song was appointed as our ambassador of the Fifth Army, and the frontier ambassador of Qingfeng Road and Jingyuan in Zhou Zhijing.

Soon, Xia Song became the highest military and political chief of Shaanxi No.4 Road, and his two deputies were the famous Fan Zhongyan and Han Qi.

Xia Song, a gifted scholar, is brilliant in literary talent and excellent in poetry and prose. He knows everything, including Yin and Yang, five elements, history and law, but he just can't fight and doesn't want to fight.

But who told him he was a civilian? Song Renzong chose Xia Song as the highest military official.

To tell the truth, it is estimated that Xia Song really doesn't want to do such a stupid job.

But Xia Song had no choice. After several refusals, he had to take office.

Since Xia Ge came to the northwest, he has let people see the power of Song God.

After Xia Song came to power, he would only ask the imperial court to reduce troops, grain and money!

After several wrangling, Song Renzong agreed to Xia Song's request.

Then Xia Song often went to the grass roots, but he just followed the beautiful women, traveled all over the place, made a scene, and even almost mutinied.

More interestingly, he kept writing to the court, talking about how good Li Yuanhao was and how bad Song Jun played.

However, at that time, the court of the Song Dynasty was clamoring to kill Li Yuanhao, and this baiwenhang must be killed.

Both his opinions and those of Wu Yu in the Tang Dynasty were rejected. Wu Yu was directly scolded as a madman by Prime Minister Zhang Shixun, and Xia Song had a hard time, and criticism was endless.

Under the pressure of public opinion, Xia Song had to put the ducks on the shelves and reluctantly prepared to send troops.

He immediately called his civilian military commanders and spent five days and five nights plotting to discuss the plan, from mobilizing military forces, grain and grass supplies to offensive routes, all aspects were drafted into documents one by one. These papers are tied together, and neither strong man can lift them.

Then Xia Song hid these documents in a big cupboard, locked them, sealed them and kept them under strict supervision. Very good, this is a military aircraft, and military aircraft should not leak it.

At this time, a magical scene happened. I don't know why these files were suddenly lost overnight.

When the news came out, the whole army was in an uproar. What happened? How did it leak? It's been leaked. Haven't you fought this battle yet?

After a long search, these confidential documents returned to the cupboard unnoticed!

Walter. What kind of operation is this?

Xia Ge slapped his thigh, and the attack plan was leaked! The attack is over!

This wave in summer songs is so beautiful.

The funniest thing is yet to come. In order to deal with Li Yuanhao, Xia Song posted a list in the city, and publicly offered a reward of "the person who won the first prize of Yuan Hao will be rewarded with 5 million yuan to become the king of Xiping."

As a result, Li Yuanhao backhand gave him a slap in the face and gave him a reward. "Who gets Xia Song's head, who gets two!"

As soon as this incident came out, it not only became strong evidence for the official impeachment of him later, but also became the talk of everyone after dinner.

That's how Li Yuanhao looked down upon Xia Song. Your head is worth two dollars.

Killing a scholar is a great insult, and we want it back.

How to find it? Xia Song is self-aware. Try not to interfere in the war. Leave it to Fan Zhongyan and Han Qi.

In February of the second year of Kangding (104 1), the Song and Xia armies broke out again in Haoshuichuan, and the results were defeated again.

After tens of thousands of Song Jun died in Haoshuichuan, they retreated calmly. The army passed a temple on the border, and Bird, his dog head strategist, proudly wrote a poem on the wall of the outer temple.

A poem makes Xia Song, the God of the Great Song Dynasty, the laughing stock of later generations.

In the fourth year of Yuanfeng (108 1), Song Shenzong sent five troops to launch a mighty summer war, and Song Jun made smooth progress at the beginning of the war.

In the end, although the original intention of destroying the summer was not achieved, the results were average, but at least some military points in Yin, history, Xia, Yi and other countries and the north side of Hengshan Mountain were occupied, which made Xixia dare not plow more than 200 miles along the Hengshan border.

In the fifth year of Yuanfeng (1082), Song Shenzong made persistent efforts, sent Yan Yan Road to appease Shen Kuo (that is, the great scientist Shen Kuo), and placed Xu Xi and Dao's generals to lead the troops to attack the summer again, preparing to consolidate the newly acquired Hengshan area and wait for an opportunity to destroy the summer in one fell swoop.

When! When! When! When! Please welcome the next generation of great gods and Xu to the stage with warm applause!

Xu Xi is not famous. He has a famous brother-in-law. His name is Huang Tingjian. But he doesn't need to be a brother-in-law. He is very talented, ambitious and outstanding.

But this guy is a tiger, he doesn't take the usual road, he looks down on people who play the imperial examination, and he doesn't take the imperial examination at all. While others were studying scientific research, he traveled all over the country and accumulated a lot of whimsy.

And these ideas were greatly dumped and admired. "I have seen many people and have never seen anyone like Qing." Finally, he was promoted by Song Shenzong.

This guy is fierce, too. He used to be the boss of Zhijian College and one of the leaders among officials. Grasping Wang Anshi is a blow.

At this time, he went to the front to be a soldier. The great god Xu has never been a soldier before, but he has always felt that he also has the potential to become a famous soldier because he is a senior military enthusiast.

Although Xu Xi has no definite position, he represents Song Shenzong. His power in the army is not much less than that of the coach Shen Kuo. As for that kind of military commander, he is not qualified to carry his shoes.

Soon, Xu Xi and others invaded the Hengshan area of Xixia, pushing the capital of Xixia, Xingqing House (now Yinchuan, Ningxia).

At that time, the tradition in Song Jun was that turtle bunkers flowed, occupying one place and building one city, and gradually encroaching on Xixia.

Xu Xi thinks this is wrong. This method is time-consuming, laborious and unpleasant. He put forward a new idea. It is better to attack in an all-round way, find the most sensitive point on the vast border between the two countries, and go all out to build fortified cities, which can become the bridgehead for attacking Xixia.

Where is this place? Xu Xi pushed his way through the crowd and pointed out with a unique eye that Yongle City should be built on the Yongle River.

Soon, Yongle City rose from the ground.

Soon, after returning to the front from Beijing, he immediately knew the bad thing.

Yongle City is located on the sensitive border of Song and Xia Dynasties. Although the terrain is dangerous, it is small and unruly.

The most terrible thing is that Yongle City is short of water, and it can't play the role of a stronghold at all. Once Song Jun takes Yongle City as its stronghold, all previous efforts will probably be wasted.

He immediately advised Xu Xi, don't keep in Yongle City, this place can't keep, otherwise everyone will die.

Xu Xi was very angry and scolded, "Are you not afraid of death alone? Dare to make mistakes. "

Kind of a little arrogant, and advised him:

Hey, how did the two discuss shouting and killing? Because Xu Xi is actually equivalent to a prison army, he can really kill disobedient people.

On second thought, Xu Xi decided to abandon his despicable life, but he also reported to the court that he was arrogant.

In the Song Dynasty, civil servants and military commanders went to court, and the military commanders were bound to lose. This time is no exception, the seed was kicked out of the front line and returned to the army to station in Yanzhou.

You are the first famous soldier in the army. Well, he has been driven away, and Jun Yan has been replaced by Xu Xi's team. The battle depends on Xu Xi's performance.

Soon, Xixia sent 300,000 troops north to Jingyuan to try to pull out Yongle City.

Xu Xi didn't believe it at first. How dare this Tangut come to my trouble?

He said to the people around him, "If he comes, it will be the autumn when I make contributions and make a fortune."

Don't be afraid, everyone. I wish the Tangut people didn't come. First of all, they will give us military services and wealth.

So confident, really Xu Xi.

Soon, Junbao came again, and Xixia people really went to Yongle City.

At this time, there were less than 5,000 troops in Yongle City, plus more than100,000 civilian workers. Jun Yan's main force followed Xu Xi and Shen Kuo back to Mizhi City in the rear.

Yongle city could not resist the attack of Xixia completely, so it had to hurry to the rear for help.

After receiving the letter for help, Xu Xi quickly led the army to the rescue.

At this time, General Gao Yongheng objected that Yongle City was too small and had no water source to keep.

His views are exactly the same as others', which is called great minds think alike.

Heng is actually very powerful. There is a brother named. Among all military commanders, Heng and his younger brother Gao Yongneng are second only to Ye and Qu Zhen in status, prestige and talent.

Normal people would listen to such a general's correct opinion, but Xu Xi's reaction was that this guy disturbed the morale of the army and dragged it down.

Fortunately, everyone pleaded, and Gao Yongheng was not killed on the spot, but was put in prison.

This is the sadness of the military commanders in the Song Dynasty. No matter how powerful the military commanders in the Song Dynasty are, how correct their opinions are, and how outstanding their exploits are, civil servants can be easily killed.

Gao Yongyi was taken down, and then it was gone. Everyone saw the problem of Yongle City, but everyone dared not object.

Opposed to being kicked away, Gao Yongheng almost lost his head, and the nominal coach Shen Kuo remained silent. Who else can make trouble for themselves?

Soon, Xu Xi arrived in Yongle City with reinforcements. How many troops are there? More than 30,000, while the Xixia people on the other side are 300,000, which is almost the ratio of 1: 10.

But Xu Shen will be fearless. He came to Yongle City to make a fortune.

Qu Zhen, the general stationed in Yongle City at that time, advised him not to go to the city, and your old man went to the back to command.

QuZhen probably want to say more, stop that now.

Xu Xi smiled and said, "Veteran Qu Hou is so timid."

Qu is really a coward. God died in life. How can he stay?

Xu Xi resolutely went to town, and he immediately showed off this operation.

Boys and girls, the previous reward method was wrong. It is very bad for everyone to judge the merits and demerits of the enemy's beheading, which greatly affects unity. People often try to catch the head of the deceased and can't concentrate on killing the enemy. Now I declare that the military merits are equal, and it is the same to cut more and less.

As soon as the order is given, the whole army will faint, and it is the most nonsense policy at any time, especially in the army. God, Xu Can is still playing this game. His brain is really funny.

But no one dared to meddle, because the Xixia people came.

Soon, the Xixia people gave up the temptation and led an army to attack Yongle City.

Gao Yongneng soon found a fighter plane, but the Xixia people had not yet formed an array.

Gao Yongneng immediately requested that the Xixia people attack when they were shaky and had no right to dispose of them.

At this time, Xu Shen will show the most beautiful operation in his whole military career.

Xu Xi cried bitterly: "I don't know, Julian Waghann can't be a column without drums."

It means that my DaSong is Julian Waghann, and the two armies are at war and want to talk about martial arts. The enemy can't attack without array.

Mm-hmm. The last one who said "no drum and no column" was Song Xianggong 1700 years ago. In the flood war of that year, Song Xianggong was so steely, and was later beaten out of the water by the Chu army. (For details, see my poor book "Behave yourself when the benevolent overlord meets martial arts").

What about this time? There is no miracle this time.

After that, the great god Xu demonstrated several operations. For example, the infantry had to wait for the cavalry to charge three times before going into battle (which definitely means that no matter what happens, it must be done); For example, if you refuse Qu Zhen's suggestion to bypass the Wuding River, attacking the enemy will save you; For example, at the last minute, he refused to break through and kept Jun Yan's elite.

However, these operations are not so beautiful compared with "Julian Waghann doesn't drum", so I won't say much about the canteen.

In the end, Yongle City fell and Song Jun was wiped out. In the Song Dynasty, more than 30,000 elite Yan Jun soldiers and100,000 innocent civilian workers all died in Yongle City. They were killed by Xixia people, especially the great god Xu Xixi.

In the first month of the first year of Jingkang (1 126), Xu Jin's army went south to attack the Song Dynasty, and soon Enemy at the Gates surrounded Kaifeng, the capital of song dynasty. For the first time, Song Jun beat off the nomads from the attack.

This autumn, Jin Bing went south again and surrounded Kaifeng City.

At that time, the Song Dynasty ordered 30,000 soldiers to guard the outer cities in all directions of Kaifeng Prefecture, and Li Zhuo, the South Wall Promotion Officer, was responsible for guarding the South City.

This buddy surnamed Li, Li Qingzhao's Li, is said to be a relative of Li Qingzhao. He used to be the general manager of Chinese books and the minister of rites.

He didn't direct the war, and he didn't know why the Song Dynasty entrusted him with an important task at the critical moment of national subjugation.

Probably because of his excellent psychological quality. There is a cloud in the Art of War of Sun Tzu: "Those who have thunder in their chests and a face like a Pinghu can be worshipped as generals."

Li Zhuo is such a person, quite calm. Mount Tai collapsed in front of it, and its color remained unchanged. Elk thrives on the left, without blinking, and has the psychological quality that a general should have.

Let's see how he shows the operation.

After accepting the glorious mission, General Li began to guard the South Gate. Just at this time, Jin Jun failed to attack the East Gate and rushed to the South Gate, aiming at Li Da's future.

General Li began to show off. He sleeps and meditates on the rostrum every day, entertains friends on the rostrum, makes tea, drinks and chats, and plays the piano. Every day, he is not drunk.

Uh-huh, his operation is to do nothing.

His generals reminded him to take strict precautions. He ignored it and continued to drink, leaving Song Jun completely without any preventive measures;

8 jin j in filling the moat, he still regardless, continue to play the piano, 8 jin j in the past few days without any interference to fill the moat;

Jin Jun made siege weapons, and his subordinates suggested making firearms to attack and destroy the enemy's siege equipment. He didn't care, continued to sleep and meditate, and soon 8 jin j will begin to attack the city.

Very good, very powerful, the most beautiful operation is actually nothing.

And then it was gone. Kaifeng city was quickly captured by the Jin army and the Northern Song Dynasty perished.

In July of the fourth year of Jianyan (1 130), he decided to gather heavy troops to capture Shaanxi first, in an attempt to attack Shaanxi first, then return to eastern Sichuan, and circuitously perish the Southern Song Dynasty.

Song Gaozong quickly sent the Privy Council to order Zhang Jun to lead an army of 180,000, and launched a massive counterattack to prepare an adventurous attack on Tongzhou, Linzhou and Yanzhou (now Dali, Fuxian and Yan 'an in Shaanxi), and then fought a decisive battle with 8 Jin J.

Soon, Song Jun recovered Linzhou and Yanzhou and won the first battle. Zhang Jun thought the weather was fine and the rain stopped, so he did it again.

So much for nuzhen.

At this time, the rulers heard Song Jun's counterattack and ordered Hong Yanzong Bi to lead twenty thousand elite riders to set off from Luoyang to help Shaanxi. Hong Yan Loushi was ordered to lead tens of thousands of troops from Hedong to Suide Army (now Suide, Shaanxi Province) to stop Song Jun from advancing eastward.

In September, Song Jun of No.5 Road arrived in Fuping area, and the war was imminent. If this war wins, Song Jun will recover a large area of lost land, Shaanxi will recover Sun, Chang 'an will recover in a few days, and the territory of the Northern Song Dynasty will be restored.

After Song Jun's deployment, the generals suggested that Hong Yan Loushi's troops should not arrive temporarily, but 8 Jin J failed to take the opportunity to divide and rule, and attacked Zongbijun first.

However, with the strength of the army, Zhang Jun was a shoo-in, and insisted on sending 8 Jin Army to Japan for World War I..

Walter, what kind of operation is this? Surprise, surprise, this is a routine operation.

Surprisingly, Zhang Jun, a guy who has read many classics, didn't learn the experience of Song Xianggong and Xu Xi, but also showed his operation and talked about martial arts.

Unfortunately, this is destined to be a joke.

After receiving the gauntlet, 8 Jin Army deliberately showed weakness, arrogant the enemy, and did not reply to delay the time.

What's more, Zhang Jun doesn't have any action at all. If 8 jin j doesn't reply, it won't start, so the excellent fighter plane will be wasted.

Soon, Wan Yan Lou Shi led the army to the front. He personally went up the mountain to observe the fighting in Song Jun, and found that although Song Jun had advantages in strength, its barriers were not firm and there were many flaws, so it was easy to be breached.

However, in order to continue to carry out this arrogant plan, by the agreed date, 8 jin j still couldn't get out.

This time, Zhang Jun gained more strength. He mistakenly thought that 8 jin j didn't dare to fight, more proud, despise the enemy.

In his view, as long as Jin Jun is willing to fight, he will definitely win.

How can we get 8j out? How did Zhuge Liang force Sima Yi to fight in the Three Kingdoms period? Send women clothes to Sima Yi and call him a timid bitch.

At this time, Zhang Jun, Zhang Dashuai and Zhuge Fusheng also came here, abusing and persecuting Hong Yan Lou's family.

Come on, kid, play this game with me. WanYanLouShi completely unmoved, without any provocation.

In the case of failure in making a plan, Zhang Jun made another plan and demonstrated the operation. Through the whole army, whoever can capture Lou Shi alive will be awarded our army our time and tens of thousands of silver wires.

At this moment, Zhang Dashuai was fascinated by Xia Song.

Play this game? Yan Hong Loushi smiled and did what Li Yuanhao did. He told his men that whoever could capture Zhang Jun alive would be rewarded with a donkey and a horse.

This is embarrassing, ha, Zhang Dashuai made a boring.

On September 24, 8 Jin Jun felt that the time was ripe and the two armies officially went to war. After World War I, Song Jun suffered heavy losses. Zhang Dashuai's resurrection is useless. Let's run.

In the end, thanks to Zhang Dashuai, Song Jun lost its dominant position cleanly.

Many times, I am not afraid of opponents like gods, but I am afraid of teammates like pigs, especially this pig teammate is still a big leader.

These pigs have too many teammates, and they don't know much about their skills. They love to talk about martial arts and show off their operations. The biggest headache is that these people often hold the military power, because Xia Song, Xu Xi, Li Zhuo and Zhang Jun all have the status of * * *, and they are all civil servants.

With these men commanding the army, it is difficult for Song Jun to win.

The question now is, who let these rookies on the battlefield master the power in the army?

The answer is the emperor of the Song Dynasty.

In the final battle of Yongle City, veteran Gao Yongneng could have escaped. His grandson Gao's eldest son led his horse at a critical moment and told him that there was a way to escape.

The invincible star Gao Yongneng made up his mind to bury the bones here with these good children. Then he died heroically.

Gao Yongneng is 70 years old. He fought Xixia for more than fifty years and never lost. I don't know how much credit he has made, but he never had the opportunity to lead an army on his own.

On the other hand, Xu Xi never had the experience of leading troops, just because he was a civilian and he had power in the army when he first went to war. He can crush these excellent military commanders like ants.

How ridiculous is this? What kind of helplessness is this?

A military commander like Gao Yongneng deserves DaSong. Is DaSong ashamed of Gao Yongneng?

One will be incompetent and exhaust the three armies. How many elite soldiers did a Xu Xi kill?

Thank the country, I hate it!

The emperors and civil servants of the Song Dynasty, have you seen the enthusiasm of military commanders and heard their cries?