Ten jokes: Did you pound garlic with a rolling pin yesterday?

1, 1 1 Travel with my wife. As there was no guide, I asked an uncle on the roadside: Are there any interesting places nearby? Grandpa pointed to the front and said, there is an internet cafe in front.

2. My girlfriend hinted that I confessed to her and asked me: Don't you know which three words are the most likely to make people nervous, excited and have a fast heartbeat? I thought about it and said, yes, the police shouted "don't move" when they caught the thief.

During the 11th period, I took a soft berth to travel, and there was a beautiful girl opposite. That little face is so delicate that I really want to talk to her, but I'm embarrassed. I can see that, too. She wants to talk to me! I got up the courage to ask her: where are you going? She said she was traveling in Guangdong, but I said it was a coincidence. Me too. Then she said that it was scary to sleep alone at night. . . I am very excited. If there is anything I can do for you, please let me know! She said, then can you change seats with my husband? He is in the next carriage. ...

Hardly had I got home when my mother handed me my mobile phone. I read the message: Mom, my girlfriend and I were arrested for opening a room. Please call officer Li and ask for 3000 yuan to redeem me. I asked my mother, "Did you send the money?" Mom nodded, and I said gloomily, "I'm single, you don't know. This is obviously wrong. " My mother looked at me and said, "I'd rather believe this is true."

When my daughter returned to her mother's house, she cried to her mother: "He often plays outside and seldom cares about me." The mother sighed and whispered, "It is said that there is no dutiful son in front of the hospital bed for a long time, and so is the husband and wife!" The daughter was shocked and asked, "Mom, what are you talking about?" I'm not sick. "Mom said," why aren't you sick? General obesity. "

6. The second-rate daughter happily said to her mother when she came home, "He praised me for being beautiful, like a peacock." Mom was not happy at all: "silly boy, he didn't praise you but hurt you." The daughter didn't understand and asked, "Why do you say that?" Mother said, "He said you were like a peacock. You're a daughter, a peacock at best. A female peacock won't open her screen. How can it be beautiful? ! "

7. Wife: Honey, I have connected the water. Go and wash! Husband: Wait a minute, when I finish playing this game. Wife: No, the water won't be hot for a while. Good boy! My husband reluctantly withdrew from the competition and ... washed the dishes.

I was sent to the police station today. I shouted angrily at the police: what justice is there, and what laws are there? I just farted on the bus and got caught here? He also said that my behavior was incomprehensible. What's wrong with that? Isn't it normal for people to fart when they shit?

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