Urgent!!!!!! Can anyone help me find a funny joke about campus life!!!! If it’s good, I’m willing to add more points!!! Thank you!!!

This is a performance I performed when I was in my senior year of high school. It can be spoken in synchrony or stand-up! ! Very funny! ! Close to our high school life!

Crosstalk "Little Cleverness"

Author: Qingdao University of Science and Technology Folk Art Association Tian Tianjun

A is very happy to talk about crosstalk for everyone. First of all, I wish everyone all the best. All the best, the future will be brighter!

B Hello everyone here! I wish you all success in your career and look forward to the future!

A Alas, alas, what did I say you do?

B Me? You don’t even know? Saying it will scare you to death

A Hahaha, don’t be afraid to flash your tongue when you talk big. Stop talking nonsense. What are you doing? `

B Talking about cross talk!

Jia'ao, I'm talking about cross talk, may I ask your surname?

B My surname is To keep a low profile, who are you?

A’s surname is A, you are here at a good time

B means that I am here by chance

A has a jingle to ask you

What is B’s jingle?

A. It’s the saying “Teacher’s magic weapon is to test the students’ lifeblood”.

B This sentence has been circulating for a long time. I remember this sentence came out when I was in elementary school.

Ao, did you say this when you were in elementary school? !

B Yes.

A Then I have to ask you a question

B What is the question?

A Tell me, what kind of students are afraid of exams, and what kind of students are not afraid of exams?

B Regarding this issue, I have very personal experience and in-depth research.

Ao, have you done any research? ! Then tell me about your research results

B The students who study well are not afraid of exams, but the students who study poorly are very afraid of exams.

A I think your research results are not completely correct.

B Why is he not completely right?

A I think, I think, this honest student is afraid of exams, but this smart student is not afraid of exams.

B Then why are honest students afraid of exams?

A There is a certain truth to this. If you think about this honest student, even though he usually studies very hard and seriously, he underestimates him as soon as he enters the examination room.

B Then what did he underestimate?

A He underestimated what he would do if he failed in the exam.

B Doesn’t this cause mental pressure on yourself?

A, think about that smart student again. Although he was a little nervous in the examination room, his face showed his calmness. With his little cleverness and ability, he could write whatever he could. If you can't write it down, look back, forward, left, and right, and copy it.

B Copy it?

A That’s right. Isn’t there a well-written couplet?

Let B tell me

The first couplet of A is: Don’t cheat in the exam and become a junior student next year. The second couplet is: I would rather have no personality than fail. Hengpi: I just want to copy

B. What if I can’t copy?

A If you really can’t copy it, then you can rely on your little cleverness to find ways to get ahead.

B What are you trying to gain?

A Well, although I can’t get full marks, it’s generally not a big problem to get 70 or 80 points in the exam.

B I’m not sure.

A is right, as the saying goes, if the horse misses the target, the tiger will take a nap. Students who rely on their cleverness to go to school

will lose their streaks every day. .

B That’s right, this kind of cleverness is not necessary in learning, and you can’t do it before.

A: Well, something like this happened in my middle school

B: Really?

A: That time our Chinese teacher organized a preliminary test

B: A preliminary test?

A Well, due to time constraints, I did not notify the students in time. As a result, there were many ridiculous answers on the test paper.

B So what kind of questions are asked, and how do the students answer them?

A There is a question like this, asking what is the representative work of Ding Ling, a famous Chinese litterateur?

B This question is very simple. The sun shines on the Sanggan River.

A Yes, what you know is very simple, but what you don’t know is difficult.

B Yes, it’s not difficult to keep abreast of issues like this.

A Well, the kind of clever students I am talking about are like this. When the teacher is not paying attention, they secretly ask the classmates in front of them.

B Then why did he ask?

A I will teach you all.

B Let’s learn.

A I just don’t know if everyone wants to hear it or not.

B This guy is certainly nice to hear.

A It sounds good to everyone, but the applause is a bit lacking. (Audience applauds)

B You are about to applaud.

A What, this is called popularity.

B Okay, you can imitate it quickly, everyone is waiting.

A Alas---Alas---(look around the teacher), what is Ding Ling’s masterpiece?

B Did the classmate in front of him tell him?

A Think about it, who dares to speak loudly in the examination room.

B That’s right.

A. He also answered in a low voice

B. How did he answer?

A (looks at the teacher, secretly) The sun shines on the Sanggan River.

B What? Louder.

A The sun shines on the Sanggan River.

B If you didn’t hear clearly, please say it again.

A The sun was shining on ------, just as the invigilator came over, the students in front did not dare to say any more, and the students behind them did not dare to ask any more.

B That’s great, I didn’t hear it clearly.

A It’s okay if you didn’t hear clearly. This classmate has a solution.

B What can he do?

A He, he was confused by the accent of this classmate.

B How was it covered?

A Answer: The representative work of the famous Chinese writer Ding Ling is: The Sun Shines on These Three Monks!

B Well, why didn’t he write about nuns?

A He said that nuns’ accents don’t sound like them.

B Okay, that’s not the case. This kind of student is so annoying.

A. Alas xxx, there is another question asking who is the author of the foreign novel "How the Steel Was Tempered" and which country is it from?

B. This question is even simpler. Oh, isn't it Osktorowski of the former Soviet Union?

A Yes, yes, but some students should not be troubled. They sat there and thought about it for a long time, and finally remembered it.

B Do you remember?

A Well, he filled it in with one stroke of his pen.

B How did he fill it out?

A Answer: The author of the foreign novel "How the Steel Was Tempered" is an American writer.

B Hehe, why doesn’t he write about Tyson?

A. People have noticed that Tyson’s name is too short and doesn’t look like him.

B Okay, that’s not the case. Students like this are so irritating.

A He is irritating, and there is no one more irritating than him.

B Is there anyone more powerful than him?

A Another question is who are the eight great masters of the Tang and Song Dynasties?

B This question is a bit difficult.

A The difficulty is difficult, but it is in the book, and the teacher has taught it many times.

B Hey xxx, do you know which eight they are?

Of course I know. They are Han Yu and Liu Zongyuan of the Tang Dynasty, Wang Anshi, Ouyang Xiu, and Zeng Gong of the Song Dynasty, plus three Su, Su Xun, Su Shi, and Su Che. They are the eight great masters of the Tang and Song Dynasties. .

B: That’s absolutely correct. How many of the students responded?

A Of course, the vast majority of students can still answer it, but there are a few individual students whose answers can be considered varied.

B What kind of flowers are there?

A A classmate answered this way.

Yi En

A: The Eight Great Masters of the Tang and Song Dynasties include Li Qingzhao, Xin Qiji, Jackie Chan, Geng Li, Ren Xianqi, Zhou Jielun, Aaron Kwok, and the celebrity Wu Qilong

B Others obviously don’t know why they write it upwards?

A He said, no points will be deducted if you make a mistake. Just in case you get it right, just add one point.

B What kind of logic is this?

A There is another classmate who answered this way. The eight great masters of the Tang and Song Dynasties include Han Yu, Liu Zongyuan, Wang Anshi, Ouyang Xiu, Zeng Gong and Sansu.

B Didn’t he answer very well?

A Hey, he gave a good answer at the beginning, but the "three plastics" behind him confused him.

B Why did Su confuse him?

A He answered Su fish, Su shrimp, and Su tofu.

Yisu, what the hell?

Soft-shelled turtle, shrimp, tofu

Yi, let me say a few words to everyone here. I have the most research on this kind of food. , let’s eat this fish first...

A, stop, stop, what are you doing?

B, I didn’t...

A, OK... Everyone, look at him like this. He has a fat head, big ears, and swollen limbs. Everyone can see that you are indeed under the order. It's so rare that people don't want to publicize your food press conference on other occasions.

B What are you talking about? Look at you, you are getting thinner with each passing year, and you are the toughest person in the city.

A, line, line...and the last question is about couplets. In addition to the above couplet, it also allows you to answer the first and second couplets.

Pair B, you have to pay attention to the words. Escorts are mediocre, but you have found the right person. I am an expert in this area.

A Yeah, why is it so dark? It turns out that cows are flying in the sky.

B Cow? How can a cow fly?

You can blow it underground.

B I am underground... Go to your side, I am blowing underground, I am telling the truth. .

A You tell the truth, there are few who tell the truth these days, otherwise Xiao Cui (Cui Yongyuan) would have stepped down long ago.

B is excited, stop talking nonsense and listen to the first couplet

Hello A, you heard it (Peking Opera reading)

B He is here It’s also going to be prosperous,

A (accompanying himself, wants to sing). . . . I'd better say it

B He won't sing anymore, it's just a waste of our feelings.

A This couplet is: Antarctica, Arctic, Antarctica, Antarctica, North and South.

B, this is not easy, listen carefully...let me think about it

How about A, bragging will not pay taxes

B has it, This second line is: move pawn shop west pawn shop thing pawn shop pawn thing

A (looking stunned) This...is this what you came up with...?

B Yes...Yes, I think...I figured it out. Why, can the cow fly this time? Isn’t it dark anymore?

A: I'm ashamed, I'm ashamed... (Peking Opera narration)

B: Okay... you'd better tell your classmates how they are right.

A This classmate is right. The answers are really surprising. Just speaking of this classmate’s answer, it is the most interesting.

B How can you see it?

A He is right.

B How is that right?

A The answer to the second line is: male students and female students, male students and male students.

B Cough!