Ye Cang, who is disqualified in the world, tries to disguise himself as a normal person. It's funny, but why not?

Osamu Dazai told Ye Cang's experience in a semi-autobiographical way, and told the world a miserable life. He has seen the bleak world, tasted the warmth and coldness of the world, prematurely touched the dark side of society, and his young mind has long been riddled with holes.

"I'm afraid of humans. As a human being, I have no confidence in most of my words and deeds. I can only pretend to be an innocent optimist and cover up my mental depression and anxiety. "

Although in the eyes of others, Ye Zang is very funny and always makes everyone laugh, in fact, he is not happy at all. He always thinks, "I was born human, I'm sorry!" "

Being out of tune with the world, but trying to live a normal life.

Whether it is good or bad to live in a wealthy family, in fact, the education and care of the family is the most important. Ye Cang's life has many twists and turns, but he is not so lucky, and no one can really save him.

"I never know what it feels like to be hungry", but every time after school, people around me always say "Hungry, have some sweet natto". Ye Cang can only show his likable nature, say "hungry" and then put a dozen sweet natto into his mouth.

Of course, this will poke many of us who used to be children, but we are lucky, most of them are nagging about love, and we can sometimes fight back in adolescence, but doesn't Ye Zang have a rebellious period? I can't help but sigh, "As a parent, have you done it?"

In class, he would steal cartoons and show them to his classmates after class to make them laugh. He will also write some interesting stories and articles. The teacher criticized him on the surface, but secretly he was amused by his interesting stories. This Yuzryha Tibetan feels very satisfied. From then on, he became a naughty boy in the eyes of others and successfully escaped from the respected fear.

Children who lack love will try their best to attract people's attention and get a little attention. Ye Cang didn't get the care he deserved in his childhood. He always doesn't even know the function of the subway station, and thinks that sheets and quilts are useless, because no one tells him these things that are beyond his cognitive range as a child.

Just like many parents don't understand their children, they always feel that their children are muddling along, saying "minor" words and doing "meaningless" things every day. Just like Ye Zang, he doesn't like being respected but wants to be a naughty boy.

However, his true character is completely opposite to that of a naughty boy. He just did a lot of sad things when he was young. He felt full of shame, so he thought that "instigating young people to do bad things should be the ugliest and saddest part of human crime". Because it will affect the healthy growth of children's body and mind, especially at this stage, the correct values, outlook on life and world outlook have not yet been formed.

Not knowing how to refuse made him miss the opportunity to change his destiny.

Due to the lack of family care and male-dominated communication mode, Ye Zang can't understand his parents and won't even tell them what the servant did. Blaming others is doomed to be futile.

Not only Ye Cang, but many families still have parents planning their children's future. Some parents think it's a pity that they didn't study hard in those years, so they impose it on their children and plan their lives according to the so-called experience of people who have experienced it.

Reading is true, but is a child happy with the overload of learning tasks and pressure? After all, time flies, but people always miss the happiness of childhood and the beauty of school, just like "some people were cured by childhood, and some people were cured by childhood."

When his father asked Ye Zang what gift he wanted, he didn't know how to answer and communicate with his father. His embarrassed appearance caused his father's displeasure. In order to make his father happy, he secretly changed the gift he wanted into one that his father thought was appropriate. I wanted to go to art school, but my father let him go to high school. Ye Cang, who was born afraid to talk back to adults, had to promise silently, but he didn't know how to refuse, which made him miss the opportunity to change his destiny.

Premeditated to be seen through, Wuyi's prophecy

Although everyone likes Ye Cang, he has few friends. If there is, then Wuyi can barely be counted as one, but the beginning of this friendship is full of tricks. After deliberately falling, he was exposed by Wuyi. He said, "You did it on purpose." Since then, he has been in anxiety and fear. Ye Cang is funny, but he is unhappy, even sad, because he always lives under the influence of others and is content to win everyone's laughter.

In a stormy summer, Ye Zang tried his best and they became good friends. Ye Zang took Zhu home on the grounds of borrowing an umbrella. As soon as bamboo has a serious ear leak, Ye Cang washes his ears with the gentleness of women. Bamboo casually said, "you will be fascinated by women."

Being seen through is not necessarily a bad thing, because someone really understands you. During their time with Zhu Yi, Ye Zang not only showed their painting talents, but also created some paintings that can truly express their inner feelings. When he showed them to Zhu, they were praised, although friendship began with Ye Zang's tricks.

But slowly he is being himself, and he must be happy during that time, because he doesn't have to please others or pretend to be a clown. Later, they didn't become lifelong friends because he went to high school according to his father's request, but Wuyi's prediction came true.

I was expelled from school because of the double suicide in Kamakura.

Since high school, Ye Zang doesn't want to live a collective life. He lived in his father's villa and then studied painting in the studio. Horimu was met by Ye Zang in the studio, and from then on he learned the life of alcohol and tobacco, such as wine pool and meat forest, because they all belong to the edge of human society.

Ye Cang's tragic life has long been reflected in his definition of himself, so the people he contacts and the living environment will affect his choice.

Until one day, Ye Zang's father had no intention of continuing to stand for election after the expiration of his term of office and transferred the villa to others. He can only rent a house by himself, and his daily expenses are not enough. After renting a house, he became poor.

As Wuyi predicted, there are three different types of women around Ye Cang. But Ye Zang finally chose the waitress in the cafe. She has a husband, but she is in prison for fraud.

It's just that every time she settles drinks, she doesn't have to hide her depressed mood. I will also tell her the theory of "running out of money" and some nonsense, which often makes her laugh.

But once, the waitress couldn't bear the pressure of life. After everyone drank a glass of milk, she said, "You pay this time." At that time, there were only three copper coins in Ye's hiding place. Maybe he hasn't got rid of the feeling of rich second generation, but he has been seriously penetrated by reality. Perhaps he was tired of the muddled life, and when he heard "How is this money possible?", his hypocritical face became the last straw to overwhelm the camel. So Ye Zang made up his mind to jump into the sea of Kamakura era with this waitress who lost hope in life.

Ye Cang has been doing what he is not good at, pleasing others, which looks funny, but his happiness has also sunk with his despair and compromise again and again.

Finally, the woman died and Ye Cang was saved. This incident caused an uproar. At that time, he was still a high school student. Not only was he expelled from school, but his father at home also broke off relations with him and was taken to the police station by the police in the name of "assisted suicide".

Life is often like this. When you think there is nothing worse, the result is a series of explosions, and there is no chance to breathe. This is also the reason why Ye Cang drank too much later. After all, a few people can really stand it.

Moreover, during the critical period when he needed help and care most, his parents chose to break off the relationship. What kind of mood would he have at that time? He might have been a walking corpse. Why do people fall? Maybe they have experienced despair. As Yi Song said to Qin Feng in Detective Chinatown 2, "When you stare at the abyss, the abyss is staring at you."

I want to go where there are no women. "Loser" seems to be a comedy term.

Since the expiration of the term of office of Ye Zang's father, the man who once complimented seems to have changed his face, and the double suicide has caused a lot of noise. Until I met a naive yoshiko, I was attracted by her ignorance and cuteness and decided to marry her. I lived a stable life and stopped thinking about the past. But such a good day didn't last long. Being broken by Hori's uninvited invitation, the two began to drink and have fun again.

Once on the rooftop, while drinking, they discussed their games about comedy nouns and tragedy nouns. Because they were hungry, they went down to look for food and met an unbearable scene, but he didn't stop them, but found Ye Cang, and let him leave this place of trouble in a hurry after witnessing his wife being defiled by others.

From then on, Ye Zang had a little more white hair, and Yoshiko was afraid and at a loss every time he saw him. When Ye Zang remembered that it was precisely because of Yoshiko's rare excellent qualities that he was deeply moved and had a pure and innocent trust in a person, was it true that "pure and innocent trust is also guilty?" . Yes, nothing is more painful than being strangled by full expectations. Without punishment, it is more painful than being strangled by innocent trust.

So when I got home one night, I quietly poured a glass of water, poured all the sleeping pills into my mouth, turned off the light and lay down to sleep. Ye Cang slept for three days and nights. When he woke up, he said, "I want to go where there are no women." At the moment, he feels like a basket case. The most ridiculous thing is that "loser" seems to be a comedy term.

Born to be human, why are you funny but unhappy?

Osamu Dazai described Ye Zang's vivid description of affection, friendship, love and important turning points in life with tragic colors, and couldn't help sighing "I was born as a human being, I'm sorry". I don't like it, and I'm not good at it, but I have to force myself to do it. It's not that all men are created equal, but that we can't choose our origins. However, too much obsession will only increase our troubles.

How can there be such a perfect thing in this world? Whether it's obsession or forced by life, it can't be considered. There is no doubt that Ye Cang is unfortunate. I believe everyone will wonder why he is funny but unhappy after reading it.