Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - Jokes should be shorter and more interesting.
Jokes should be shorter and more interesting.
Narrator
The first field
Narrator: A long time ago, there was a gorgeous queen, but behind the gorgeous, there was a jealous heart. As long as she hears that someone is more beautiful than her, she can't stand it. She has a magic mirror and often goes to the mirror to admire herself.
(Queen, on the magic mirror)
Queen: Mirror Mirror, tell me, who is the handsome guy in the world?
Mirror: Sorry, there is something wrong with the system. Please re-enter the voice prompt.
Queen: Forget it. Tell Ai Jia who is the most beautiful woman in the world.
Mirror: OK, restart. Come and see, everyone, this man is really beautiful! She has long hair as black as a waterfall, snow-white skin and a graceful figure. Every man will be tempted when he sees her, and every woman will sigh at her. She is Snow White.
Queen: You broken mirror, where did you get so much nonsense?
Mirror: Please don't be sad, my child. Every girl is an angel who landed on the earth. Some people have their feet facing the ground, while others have their heads facing the ground. Unfortunately, your face fell right on a piece of granite. This is a fate that no one can change.
Queen: If I didn't think you were the global limit, I would have smashed you!
Mirror: Huh? You've said it many times.
Queen: I don't believe that the queen is not as good as the princess. !
Magic mirror: I think external beauty is secondary, and spiritual beauty is important. But if you really want to be beautiful, you have to go to a beauty salon.
Queen: Is it the long-lost one? ...
Mirror: (taking the queen's words) Yes, the long-lost one-give me back my drifting fist!
Actors A and B go up, and I will swing my fist after the performance. )
If you play like this for 7749 days, you can become as beautiful as him. (pointing to actors B, A and B)
Queen: I can't wait. I hope Snow White won't see the sun tomorrow. Go kill her.
Magic mirror: Although your idea is very creative, I am a magic mirror, not a devil.
Queen: You are the devil. I told the canteen to add a box lunch for you at noon tomorrow.
Mirror: Hey ... Braised pork.
Queen: Add two pieces of chicken butt. Let's go
The second field
Scene: a brick is placed in the center of the stage, and actor A plays an old woman and walks slowly. Fell to the ground. Snow white stands up from behind to help the old woman.
Narrator: The magic mirror is right. Snow White is a lively and lovely girl. She often helps others with a kind mind and takes caring for others as her own happiness.
Snow White: (to the old woman) Grandma, be careful.
Old woman: Thank you, girl. What's your name?
Snow White: My name is Snow White. Let me help you.
Old woman: OK, OK. You are really a beautiful and kind girl.
When she walks to the stage, the old woman gets off and Snow White stands thoughtfully. On the magic mirror)
Mirror: (behind Snow White) Snow White?
Snow White: Oh, wait, I'll move the bricks, or more people will trip.
Go back and take the brick to the stage and talk to the magic mirror later. )
Can I help you, sir?
Magic mirror: (I don't know how to answer the question, think about it, and say it quickly) I just finished eating, and there is nothing wrong here. Can you accompany me to walk in the Woods over there?
Snow White: All right. (Walking slowly with a magic mirror)
Narrator: Snow White was thus deceived into the forest, and the magic mirror revealed its true colors.
Mirror: (looking at Snow White with a grimace of a grin) Haha ... Snow White, haha. ...
Snow White: (looking scared and not putting her hand on her chest) You, what do you want?
Mirror: I am the devil, and I will finish you today.
(The background music begins, and the magic mirror reaches out her hands and makes an aggressive gesture to Snow White. )
Snow White: (Be afraid, stand back. Music suddenly turns into a beautiful girl warrior, and Snow White transforms) The moon comes, (the mirror hides) The moon comes (the mirror hides again), Thi! (The magic mirror retreats and is defeated. Mirror, under Snow White)
Narrator: Over there, the queen is still waiting for news from the magic mirror.
(Queen, look in the mirror and take photos while walking. On the magic mirror)
Magic mirror: (behind the queen) yellow ... yellow (form) ... queen ... (making wounds)
Queen: (pointing at the mirror sternly) Why did you come back? !
Mirror: I ... She ... Idaho. ...
Queen: What? (magic mirror) Go to hell! (under the magic mirror) It seems that we have to do it ourselves. Measure that he can run out of the classroom but not out of the school, (screaming) hahahaha ... (under the queen)
Third field
Scene: A small house (replaced by a stool)
Narrator: There are three lovely dwarfs living in the forest. One day, they met the lost Snow White.
(From the music "Swan Lake", three dwarfs lined up to jump on Swan Lake, and Swan Lake stopped. )
Three dwarfs: (singing "Thirty-six Strategies of Love" together) Who said that a handsome guy has no brains, but only loves beauty and sleep? (Posing with his back to the audience) Yeah!
Dwarf A: It's backwards.
Three dwarfs: (posing to the audience) Yeah! ("Swan Lake" music, three dwarfs jump "Swan Lake" and retreat to the back of the house to squat down. Snow white)
Snow White: (pointing to the house) Does anyone live here? (loudly asks) Is anyone there?
Dwarf A: Who are you? Which unit are you from?
Snow White: I'm Snow White, from Gongsi Army. (Three dwarfs run to Snow White)
Dwarf A: (pointing to Snow White) Really?
Snow White: Really, don't trust the test!
Dwarf B: Look. Snow White stood still, and three dwarfs walked around her, singing.
Dwarf A: (Stimulation 2005) You never know how sad it is to pay for you.
Snow White: It feels so sweet and I am so attached.
Dwarf B: I believe that day will last forever.
Snow White: It's just that they are not simple enough.
Dwarf c: hand in hand, one step, two steps, three steps and four steps, looking at the sky.
Snow White: But you hold others in your arms.
Dwarf A: No matter how romantic and bizarre the plot is.
Snow White: My love is meaningful.
Qi: The only thing I love is you. (posing with his back to the audience) Yeah!
Dwarf A: It's backwards again. (Posing to the audience) Yeah!
Dwarf B: King Guy Woody.
Snow White: River Demon in Baota Town.
Dwarf C: Why is your face red?
Snow White: Brilliant.
Dwarf A: Why is it yellow again?
Snow White: Cold wax.
Three dwarfs: (looking at each other) Yes, yes.
Snow White: (grabbing the dwarf's hand and jumping up) I finally found you!
Dwarf A: Are all comrades safe?
Snow White: Well, it's safe. Comrades miss you very much. I'm lost here.
Dwarf C: Never mind, come to our house. (Dwarf and Snow White get off together)
Scene 4
Scene: A small house. Snow White walked slowly in front of the house.
Narrator: On this day, all three dwarfs went out, leaving only Snow White at home. The evil queen finally found Snow White. She carefully made a poisonous apple and tried to poison Snow White. (Queen)
Queen: (looking around with a magnifying glass, I was surprised to see Snow White suddenly)! Miss, do you want to lose weight?
Snow White: Thanks, I don't want it. I am already very thin.
Queen: There is a saying that you have a good figure. We'll see. Two steps, not fat.
Snow White: Take two steps, take two steps.
(The background music "I Love Taiwan Province Girls" starts, Snow White walks, and the music stops)
Queen: (takes out an apple to Snow White) Girl, I admire you so much. This apple is so cute that I give it to you as a gift.
Snow White: Oh, thank you. (Pick up the apple and take a bite)
Queen: (with a sly smile) Haha ... This is the first strange poison in the world that I developed exclusively, and it will kill me in one day!
Snow White: Ha ha ha! The first strange poison in the world killed you that day, and it should be half a step with a smile from our White House.
Queen: We were killed by seven different poisonous insects in one day, and Hemerocallis was extracted for 7749 days. It is colorless and tasteless, killing people without leaving a trace.
Snow White: Hum, our smile is made of honey, Fritillaria cirrhosa, Platycodon grandiflorum and Saussurea involucrata. It doesn't need refrigeration or even preservatives. Apart from its toxicity, it tastes delicious.
Queen: People who die after eating us for a day will lose their martial arts, their veins will flow backwards, they will have delusions, become possessed, and finally die of a burst blood vessel.
Snow White: That's right. As the name implies, people who eat our smiles must never walk half a step or smile, otherwise they will explode and die.
He: Traveling at home, killing people is really a good medicine.
Narrator: So, where can I buy it?
Snow White: This elder brother is really lucky. I happen to have one here. (toxic attack, slowly falling down)
Empress: Hahaha ... (Empress)
Narrator: When the three dwarfs came home, they saw Snow White unconscious and were very anxious. At this time, the legendary prince appeared, and the story of love at first sight was about to be staged. (About the Three Dwarfs)
Dwarf A: Snow White, what's wrong with you? Why are you foaming at the mouth?
Dwarfs B and C: Snow White, Snow White ...
Dwarf c: hurry, hurry to the hospital. The dwarfs carried Snow White together, but they couldn't.
Dwarf A: This is heavier than a pig!
Shorty b: what should I do?
The light went out and a beam of light shone on the prince. He slowly walked onto the stage and sang Cinderella. After singing, the light came on. )
Dwarf c: (seeing the prince, waving and shouting) hey, young man ... hey ... come and help.
Prince: (seeing the dwarf and Snow White coming) This girl is really handsome. ...
Shorty A: For Peugeot.
Dwarf B: Quick, quick, Snow White is dying.
Prince: (I tried to pick up Snow White, but I couldn't hold her twice. Raise Snow White's head with her hands.
Suddenly, Snow White coughed twice and woke up. )
Qi: (screaming in horror) Ah! ...
Prince: (dare not escape) Forge a corpse! ...
Snow White: (rubbing her eyes) Which hero saved me? Which hero saved me? The dwarfs pointed to the prince, and Snow White went over and put her arms around him.
Dwarf A: Suffer!
Dwarf B: Bad luck!
Dwarf C: Regret!
Prince: This is a great loss! Forget it, you helped me find the princess, and I fulfilled a wish for each of you.
Dwarf A: Really? Then I'll go first. I don't really want anything else, I just want a lot of money!
Prince: All right! (takes a key out of his pocket and hands it to the dwarf) The key to the vault.
Dwarf A: Ah, I'm rich! I am rich!
Dwarf B: (Can't wait) It's my turn. It's my turn I've always wanted a mobile phone. I once wanted a clam shell. Hehe, it's fashionable and beautiful. Later, I wanted a straight one. Hey hey, simple and generous. Now I want a slider, hey, hey, Snow White. ...
Snow White: (on the phone) Prince Charming.
Prince: All right! (takes out his mobile phone from his pocket) Here, Nokia N93, (in short) has passed the national recognition of ISO9002.
The certificate system has GPRS global positioning system, as long as you go out and shout! The whole world can hear it.
Shorty b: ah, finally have a mobile phone.
Prince: (pointing to Dwarf C) It's your turn.
Dwarf C: Ah, is it my turn? (Praying posture) Then I hope the world will be peaceful.
Prince: hmm ... hmm ... do you have any other questions?
Dwarf c: oh, this is a bit difficult. Then ... then make me handsome!
Prince: Let's ask this question.
Dwarfs a and b: world peace? So stylish? !
Qi: (kicks Shorty C) Shit!
Prince: Forget him. (To Snow White) Then I will give you this wish, Snow White.
Snow White: Me? Then I hope the queen can become more beautiful.
Qi: Why?
Snow White: (in front of the audience) Although she wants to hurt me, I still want my mother to be happy. Don't take external beauty seriously, in fact, the real beauty is hidden in everyone's heart. Each of us is beautiful, as long as you give your love to others and let others feel your love, then you are the most beautiful person!
Prince: That's right. External beauty is secondary, and spiritual beauty is important. Now I know that I have found the most beautiful person in the world. (The prince holds the princess's hand and the three dwarfs applaud)
Narrator: The prince and Snow White lived happily ever after.
the end
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