Humorous short paragraphs in classical Chinese

1. What are some humorous short jokes in classical Chinese?

1. "Bloody with Money" 1. Original text: A man is lost and encounters a mute man. He doesn't answer the questions, but makes them with his hands. The money sample shows that you can get money before you can give guidance. The man expressed his intention by counting the money. The dumb man opened his mouth to point out the way. The man asked: "Why do you pretend to be dumb when you don't have money?" The dumb man said: "Now "In this world, if you have money, you can speak!" 2. Translation: A man was lost and met a "mute" who asked questions without answering. The "mute" only made money gestures with his hands, indicating that he wanted to give money. Only then was he willing to guide. The lost man understood the meaning and immediately took out a few coins and gave them to the "mute". The "mute" then opened his mouth to point out the way. The lost man asked: "Why are you pretending to be mute?" The "mute" said: "In today's world, there are If you have money, you can talk."

3. Excerpted from "Laughing Lin Guang Ji", "Laughing Lin Guang Ji" was collected by the owner of the game signed in the Qing Dynasty, and was mostly taken from the Ming and Qing joke collections. 2. "You Li" 1. Original text: One official is the most greedy.

One day, the two were arrested and interrogated. The plaintiff was given fifty gold. The defendant heard about this and doubled the bribe. During the trial, the plaintiff was beaten by drawing lots regardless of the reason.

The plaintiff made a five-digit gesture with his hand and said: "The little one is right." The officer also raised his hand and said: "Slave, you are right."

He also raised his hand and said: Yang said: "He is more reasonable than you." 2. Translation: There was an official who was very greedy. One day he detained the plaintiff and the defendant for interrogation. The plaintiff gave the official fifty taels of gold. When the defendant heard about it, he doubled the bribe.

When the trial came, the officials were indiscriminate and drew lots to beat the plaintiff. The plaintiff stretched out his five fingers and gestured, "I am justified."

The official also stretched out his five fingers and said, "Slave, although you are justified," he then turned over his hands and said, "He is better than you." It’s even more reasonable!” 3. Source: Youli, pinyin yǒu lǐ, comes from “A Dream of Red Mansions”. 3. "Confused" 1. Original text: A young blind man was involved in a lawsuit and sued himself for being blind.

The official said: "You clearly have innocent eyes, how can you deceive yourself?" He replied: "The master thinks that the villain is innocent, but the villain thinks that the master is very confused." 2. Translation: Yes A man suffering from blue blindness was involved in a lawsuit. He argued that he was blind.

The official said: "You have clear blue and white eyes. Why are you pretending to be blind?" The man replied: "You think my eyes are innocent, but I think you are very confused!" 3 , excerpted from "Xiao Lin Guang Ji". 4. "Duo Zi Helps the Battle" 1. Original text: A military attache went out to fight and was about to be defeated.

Suddenly, divine soldiers came to help, and they were victorious. The military attache kowtowed to the god's name, and the god said: "I am the god Duozi."

The military attache asked: "What virtues and abilities does the young general have, so that he dares to help the god Duozi to save him?" The god said: "I just feel it. You have never hurt me with an arrow in the teaching field." 2. Translation: Once upon a time, a general went to war and was about to lose.

Suddenly, magic soldiers came to help and turned defeat into victory. The general kowtowed and asked the god's name, and the immortal said: "I am the God of Duozi."

The general said: "What kind of kindness or ability do I have, so I dare to ask the God of Duozi to save me?" The God of Duozi replied: "Only Thank you for never hurting me with an arrow when you practice archery on the school field." 3. Source: Selected from "Strange Stories from a Chinese Studio" written by Pu Songling in the Qing Dynasty.

5. "The Landowner Sees Chickens" 1. Original text: A rich man had an extra acre of land. He rented it to Zhang San and asked for one chicken per acre. Zhang San hid the chicken behind his back, and the landowner chanted one after another, "This field is not with Zhang San." Zhang San hurriedly offered the chicken, and the landowner chanted again, "Not with Zhang San, but with whom?" "Zhang San said: "The first time I heard it was not with me, but later it was with me. Why?" The landowner said: "At first it was a talk without a chicken, but later it was done after seeing a chicken.

”

2. Translation: A rich man has extra land at home and wants to rent it to Zhang San for planting. (The condition is) one chicken per acre of land. Zhang San puts the chicken on Behind his back, the landowner (the rich man) groaned and said: "This field will not be cultivated by Zhang San." Zhang San quickly took out the chicken and presented it to him. The landowner chanted again and said: "If you don't give it to Zhang San, give it back." who? "Zhang San said: "I just heard you say you won't plant it for me, and then you planted it for me. Why? The landowner said: "In the beginning, it was nonsense, but later on, it was an opportunity to do something." ” 3. Excerpted from "Xiao Lin Guang Ji". 2. What are some funny jokes in classical Chinese?

1: There is a fish in the North Ming Dynasty whose name is Kun Kun Zhi Da

It cannot be stewed in one pot

It turns into a bird and its name is Peng Peng Zhi Da

Two barbecue grills are needed

One is polysaccharide and the other is slightly spicy

Get a bottle Snowflakes

Let's bravely venture into the world

2: An official sat in court and accidentally said the word "shuangli" to himself. The officials didn't know it and misunderstood it as a reward for the officials, hoping to win their favor. , Kneel down and say: Thank you for the reward!

3: A dead monkey met the King of Pluto and asked to be reincarnated. The King said: "If you want to become a human, you must pluck out all the hair on your body." Then he called Yaksha to do it and pulled out one hair. The monkey was in great pain. The king laughed and said, "Beast, let's see how you behave without pulling out one hair." ”

4: Wouldn’t it be great to have friends come from afar and drive them away from other courtyards with dozens of whips?

5: Confucius said: Fighting with bricks is not suitable for chaos. Looking at your face, you can't breathe anymore, you can use your right hand to use your left hand, you can use your shoes to break the bricks, and you can't stop dying. How can you be alone and have friends together?

Classical Chinese is a processed written language based on ancient Chinese. It may have been processed in the earliest written language based on spoken language. Classical Chinese is a written language in ancient China, mainly including spoken language in the Pre-Qin period. Written language formed as a basis. During the Spring and Autumn Period and the Warring States Period, objects for recording text had not yet been invented. Bamboo slips, silk and other materials were used to record text. Silk was expensive, bamboo slips were bulky and the number of words recorded was limited. In order to be able to record words in " When "paper" was used on a large scale, the ruling class's habit of using "official documents" for correspondence had been finalized, and the use of "classical Chinese" had evolved into Classical Chinese is a symbol of reading and literacy. It is characterized by writing based on characters, focusing on allusions, parallel antithesis, and neat rhythm. It includes various literary styles such as strategies, poems, lyrics, tunes, eight-legged prose, and parallel prose. . In order to facilitate reading and understanding, classical Chinese texts in modern books are generally marked with punctuation marks. 3. Where to find selected jokes in ancient classical Chinese texts?

The question is not suitable online. , available in bookstores. For example: The original text of the joke is that a scholar suddenly gave birth to a son when he was seventy years old. Naming knowledge.

The next year, he gave birth to another son. He smiled and said: "It's really a joke to have a son at such an old age." ”

Because of its name, it is called “a joke.” The three of them were old and had nothing to do. They all ordered to go into the mountains to collect firewood. When they returned, their husband asked, "Which of the three sons has more firewood?" "My wife said: "I have gained a lot of age, but I have no knowledge at all, but I am full of jokes. "

Translation: There was a scholar who was nearly seventy years old. His wife suddenly gave birth to a son. Because he was already old, he gave birth to a son, so he named him "Jiu". Soon after, another son was born. The son looked like a scholar, so he named him "Xuewen". In the third year, another son was born. The scholar smiled and said: "It's really cool that you can have a son at such an old age." joke. "So it was named "Joke".

When the three sons grew up and had nothing to do, the scholar asked them to go into the mountains to collect firewood. When they came back, the husband asked his wife: "Who among the three can collect firewood? many? The wife said: "I have gained a lot of age, but I have no knowledge at all, but I have a lot of jokes." "To evade those who are snobbish in the original text, they will evade them every time they are in trouble."

When a fellow traveler asked him why, he replied: "I gave up my relatives." This happened again and again, and the traveler got tired of it.

I met a beggar by chance, and tried to evade him, saying: "I want to give up my marriage." He asked: "Why do you have this order to marry me?" He said: "But the good ones are all recognized by you."

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Translation: There was a vain man. When he went out and saw dignitaries passing by, he stayed away. People traveling with him asked him why he did this, and he said, "That's my relative."

This happened many times, and every time he did this, people traveling with him found it annoying. Later, suddenly I met a beggar on the road. The people who were traveling with him imitated his behavior and hid aside, saying, "That beggar is my relative."

The vain person asked, "You How come you have such poor relatives?" The person traveling with me said, "Because you have recognized all the good things." People from the original text of eating olives went to the city to have a drink, and there were olives in the banquet.

The country people tasted it, but it was astringent and tasteless, so they asked the people sitting at the table: "What is this?" As a name, he remembered it and told people: "I tasted a strange thing in the city today, and I named it 'Su'."

The crowd didn't believe it, but the person opened his mouth and exhaled and said: "You don't believe it. , Nowadays, everything is vulgar." Translation: A farmer went to the city for a banquet, and there were olives in the banquet.

The farmer took it to his mouth and ate it. It was both astringent and unpalatable, so he asked the people at the table: "What is this?" The people at the table thought he was vulgar and said contemptuously: "Vulgar. The farmer thought that "Cu" was the name of olives, so he kept it in his mind and told people after returning home: "I ate a strange fruit in the city today, called 'Cu'."

Everyone. The farmer didn't believe it, so he opened his mouth and said, "You don't believe it, now I'm talking about vulgarity." The original text of the funny joker was to let a guest have lunch, but the guest had already finished the whole bowl, and there was no more food.

The guest wanted the host to know, so he pretended to say: "A certain family has a house for sale." So he turned the mouth of the bowl to the host and said: "The rafters are also this big."

The host Seeing that there was no rice in the bowl, he called out to the boy to add more food. Because he asked the guest: "How much does he want to be worth?" The guest said: "Now that I have food to eat, I won't sell it."

Translation: A man invited a guest to have lunch, and the guest had already finished a bowl. , no one helped him. The guest wanted the host to know, so he pretended to say: "A certain family has a house for sale."

Then he deliberately pointed the mouth of the bowl towards the host and said: "The rafters are also as thick as the mouth of the bowl." The host saw the bowl. There was no food in the house, so he hurriedly called the servant boy to bring him more food.

Then he asked the guest: "How much did he sell it for?" The guest replied: "Now that I have food to eat, I won't sell it anymore." Original text of the lie Some people are used to lying.

His servants will be round in every generation. One day, he said to someone: "A well in my house was blown to the house next door by the strong wind yesterday."

Everyone thought it had never happened before. Pu Yuanzhi said: "It's true.

My well is close to the neighbor's fence. The wind was strong last night. I saw the fence blowing over the well, but it was like the well blowing over the neighbor's house. "One day, he said to others: "Someone shot a goose with a bowl of rice soup on his head."

The crowd was surprised again. Pu Yuan said: "This is also the case.

My master was eating noodle soup in the courtyard. Suddenly a goose fell down and its head fell into the bowl. Could it be that the goose was holding noodle soup on its head?" day.

He also said to others: "The Han family has a warm sky tent, which covers the heaven and earth so tightly that there are no gaps." The servant raised his eyebrows and said: "Master is offended. He is telling such lies all over the sky. How can I cover it up?"

Translation: There was a man who was used to telling lies, and his servants always lied for him. One day, he said to people: "A well in my house was blown to the house next door by strong wind yesterday."

Everyone thought that such a thing had never happened before. His servant justified his lie and said: "It is true that my well is close to the neighbor's fence. The wind was strong last night and blew the fence to the well, just like the well blew to the neighbor's house."

One day, he said to people again: "Someone shot down a wild goose with a bowl of rice soup on his head." Everyone was very surprised and did not believe what he said.

His servant explained his lie again and said: "This happened too. My master was eating noodle soup in the courtyard. Suddenly, a goose fell down and its head happened to fall into the bowl. Isn't it a goose? "Powder soup on your head?" Another day, he said to others: "The Han family has a warm sky tent, which covers the sky and the earth tightly, without any gaps." The servant frowned in embarrassment after hearing this. Said: "Master has gone too far, telling such a big lie, how can I cover it up."

Original text of Lishui Xuetai A scholar's servant peed on the baby, and did not urinate for a long time. He was frightened and said: "The school is here." The doll immediately peed.

The scholar asked why and replied: "I saw you scholars were so frightened that they peed and pooped when they heard that they were dismounted. I know this." The scholar sighed and said, "I didn't expect that this baby could inherit his father's ambition. Keshao is scholarly; I didn’t expect that this school platform is good at benefiting from the water and can help with defecation.”

Translation: A servant in a scholar’s ??house would hold a baby to urinate, but the child would not urinate for a long time. The servant frightened him and said: "The school is coming."

The doll immediately peed. The scholar asked him why and replied: "I saw that you scholars were so frightened that they peed when they heard that the academy was coming, so I frightened him like this."

The scholar sighed and said, "I didn't expect this. The baby can inherit his father's ambition and continue his scholarly life; let alone expect that this school is good at diuresis and can relieve defecation. "Classical Chinese is a processed written language based on ancient Chinese. 4. A selection of short jokes in ancient classical Chinese

The question is inappropriate.

Available online and in bookstores. For example: Joke Yidan Original Text A scholar was about seventy years old when he suddenly gave birth to a son.

Born because of age, it is called age. Not long after, another son was born, who seemed to be able to read and learn knowledge.

The following year, another son was born. Laughing and saying: 62616964757a686964616fe58685e5aeb931333365643661 "It's a joke to have a baby at such an old age."

Because of the name, it was called "a joke." The three of them were old and had nothing to do, so they all ordered to go into the mountains to collect firewood. When they returned, my husband asked He said: "Which of the three sons has more firewood?" The wife said: "You are old, but you have no knowledge at all, and you have a lot of jokes."

Translation: There is a scholar who is nearly seventy years old. The wife suddenly gave birth to a son. Because he was old, he gave birth to a son, so he named him "Jiu". Not long after, another son was born. He looked like a scholar, so he named him "Xuewen".

Another son was born in the third year. The scholar laughed and said: "It's a joke that you can still have a son at such an old age." So he named it "Joke".

When the three sons grew up and had nothing to do, the scholar asked them to go into the mountains to collect firewood. When they came back, the husband asked his wife: "Who among the three can collect more firewood?" The wife said: "You are older. If you have a lot of knowledge, you have no knowledge at all, but you have a lot of jokes. "Snobbish people will avoid them every time they are in trouble.

When a fellow traveler asked him why, he replied: "I gave up my relatives." This happened again and again, and the traveler got tired of it.

I met a beggar by chance, and tried to evade him, saying: "I want to give up my marriage." He asked: "Why do you have this order to marry me?" He said: "But the good ones are all recognized by you."

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Translation: There was a vain man. When he went out and saw dignitaries passing by, he stayed away. People traveling with him asked him why he did this, and he said, "That's my relative."

This happened many times, and every time he did this, people traveling with him found it annoying. Later, suddenly I met a beggar on the road. The people who were traveling with him imitated his behavior and hid aside, saying, "That beggar is my relative."

The vain person asked, "You How come you have such poor relatives?" The person traveling with me said, "Because you have recognized all the good things." People from the original text of eating olives went to the city to have a drink, and there were olives in the banquet.

The country people tasted it, but it was astringent and tasteless, so they asked the people sitting at the table: "What is this?" As a name, he remembered it and told people: "I tasted a strange thing in the city today, and I named it 'Su'.

"

The crowd didn't believe it, so he opened his mouth and said, "You don't believe it, now you are full of vulgar words. " Translation: A farmer went to the city for a banquet, and there were olives in the banquet.

The farmer took it to his mouth and ate it. It was astringent and unpalatable, so he asked the people at the table: "What is this? The people at the same table thought he was vulgar and said contemptuously: "Vulgar." The farmer thought that "Cu" was the name of olives, so he kept it in his mind. After returning home, he said to people: "I ate a strange fruit in the city today, called 'Cu'." "

Everyone didn't believe it, so the farmer opened his mouth and said, "You don't believe it, now I'm full of vulgar words. "Mocking Funny Guests" Original text A man invited a guest for lunch, but the guest had already finished his bowl, and there was no more food.

The guest wanted the host to know, so he pretended to say: "A certain family has a house for sale." So he turned the mouth of the bowl to the owner and said, "The rafters are also this big." "

When the host saw that there was no rice in the bowl, he hurriedly asked the boy to add more rice. Because he asked the guest, "How much does he want to be worth?" The guest said, "Now that I have food to eat, I won't sell it." "

Translation: A man invited a guest to have lunch. The guest had already finished his bowl, and no one helped him. The guest wanted the host to know, so he pretended to say: "A certain family has a house for sale.

Then he deliberately pointed the mouth of the bowl towards the owner and said, "The rafters are also as thick as the mouth of the bowl." "When the master saw that there was no rice in the bowl, he hurriedly called the servant to give him more rice.

Then he asked the guest: "How much did he sell it for? The guest replied: "Now that we have food to eat, we won't sell it." " Yuan Lie Original Text Some people are used to telling lies.

His servants are Yuan Zhi every generation. One day, he said to someone: "The well in my house was blown by the strong wind to the house next door yesterday. "

Everyone thought it had never happened before. Pu Yuanzhi said: "It does happen.

My well is close to the neighbor's fence. The wind was strong last night. I saw the fence blowing past the well, but it was like the well blowing to the neighbor's house. One day, he said to another person: "Someone shot a goose and put a bowl of rice soup on his head." "

Everyone was surprised again. Pu Yuan said: "This is also the case.

My master was eating noodle soup in the courtyard. Suddenly a goose fell down and its head fell into the bowl. Could it be that the goose was holding noodle soup on its head? "One day.

He also said to others: "The Han family has a warm sky tent, which covers the heaven and earth tightly, without any gaps. The servant raised his eyebrows and said, "Master, how can I cover up this lie?" "

Translation There was a man who was used to telling lies, and his servants always lied for him. One day, he said to people: "A well in my house was blown by the strong wind to the house next door yesterday. "

Everyone thought that such a thing had never happened before. His servant justified his lie and said: "It is true that such a thing happened. My well is close to the neighbor's fence. It was windy last night. Blowing the fence to the well is like blowing the well to the neighbor's house. "

One day, he said to someone again: "Someone shot down a goose with a bowl of rice soup on his head. "Everyone was very surprised and didn't believe what he said.

His servant explained his lie again and said: "It happened too. My master was eating noodle soup in the courtyard. Suddenly, a goose fell down. , the goose's head happened to fall into the bowl, doesn't it mean that the goose's head is carrying powdered soup? "Another day, he said to others: "The Han family has a warm sky tent, which covers the heaven and earth tightly without any gaps. After hearing this, the servant frowned in embarrassment and said, "Master has gone too far. He is telling such a big lie. How can I cover it up?" "

Li Shui Xuetai Original text A scholar's servant peed on the baby and did not urinate for a long time. He was frightened and said: "Xue Tai is here. "The baby immediately peed.

The scholar asked why and replied: "I saw you scholars dismounting from the stage and being so frightened that they peed and pooped out. I know this. The scholar sighed and said, "I didn't expect that this baby could inherit his father's ambition and be a scholar. I didn't expect that this school platform could benefit from the small water and help with defecation." "

Translation: The servant of the scholar's family held the baby to urinate, but the child did not urinate for a long time. The servant frightened him and said: "Xuetai is coming. ”

The doll peed immediately.

The scholar asked him why and replied: "I saw that you scholars were so frightened that they peed when they heard that the academy was coming, so I frightened him like this."

The scholar sighed and said: "I didn't expect this. It is even more unexpected that the baby can inherit his father's ambition and continue his scholarly pursuits. 5. Humorous stories in classical Chinese

Wolf

Pu Songling

Original text:

One of the wolves came back late, with all the meat in his load, but there were only bones left. On the way, two wolves traveled far away. . When the rear wolf stopped and the front wolf came again, its bones were gone, but the two waves were driving together as before.

The slaughter was in great embarrassment, and there was a wheat field in Guye. The owner of the farm had a pile of money in it, and the butcher was leaning on it, holding a knife. The wolf did not dare to move forward, and stared at each other.

When he was young, a wolf walked away, and his dog sat down. In front of me. For a long time, my eyes seemed to be closed, and I was very distracted. I suddenly started to kill the wolf with a knife, and killed it with several swords. When I was about to go, I turned to look behind the pile of firewood, and saw a wolf hole in it, intending to tunnel into it. Attack the back. The body is halfway in, and the tail is only exposed. The butt is cut off from the back, and it is killed. The wolf is lying in front of him to lure the enemy.

Two kills, how can the beasts be deceived? Zhi Zengxiao Er. It was already dusk and a wolf came. He looked at the meat and seemed to be salivating. He followed him for several miles to show his fear. Use the knife to catch it; when it's time to move, you can follow it. Thinking that the wolf wants the meat, it's better to hang it on the tree and take it early. Then the slaughter came back. I went to take the meat. I looked at the huge thing hanging on the tree, which looked like a man hanging to death. I looked up and looked at it closely, and I saw that the wolf had meat in its mouth. The wolf's jaw is like a fish swallowing bait. At that time, the price of wolf skin was more than ten gold, and it was ridiculous to kill Xiaoyu in search of fish. When he was walking in the room, he ran into Fuyan. The wolf dug its claws out of the thatch, but he couldn't move away. When you blow it hard, you will find that the wolf is not moving very much, and it will be tied up. The wolf will be as swollen as an ox, and its legs will not bend, and its mouth will not close. 6. Classical Chinese text. Funny sentences

1. Chirp again chirp, Mulan flies a plane, what kind of plane is she flying, Boeing 747.

2. I resigned from Beijing last year and lived in exile in Tokyo City, a remote place in Tokyo. Without music, I will not listen to Sima Guang all year round.

3. Money is what I want; beauty is what I want. I can’t have both, and I want to give up money for beauty.

4. If you don’t leave me here, you will have your own place. If you don’t leave me everywhere, I will go to the railway.

5. I have many illnesses and am alone at the age of nine. As for the founding of New China. There are no handsome men, but beautiful women will die.

6. Liu Suying's illness is always in heaven, and it has not expired.

7. I love Rejoice in the Holy Dynasty; Li Kui, the former prefect, loves Lafang even more. Later, Leslie Cheung, the governor, promoted ministers and servants.

8. The edict is strict and the official Ultraman is responsible. People all over the universe are forcing him to hang himself. I had no choice but to obey.

9. A minister without a grandmother can live a hundred years; a minister without a grandmother can live a thousand years. Mother and grandson are incomparable to a turtle.

10. Chen Mi is twenty-two this year, and grandma is ninety-nine this year. Please forgive me for the personal relationship. 7. Humorous short classical Chinese essays

Ji Chang learned to shoot. Gan Ying, an ancient good archer, used his bow to make animals and birds fall.

The disciple was named Fei Wei. He learned to shoot at Gan Ying and was more skillful than his master. Ji Chang also learned archery from Fei Wei.

Fei Wei said: "You must first learn without blinking, and then you can shoot." Ji Chang returned and lay down under his wife's machine, holding his head with his eyes.

Two years later, although the end of the cone turned back to the canthus, it was not instantaneous. To sue Fei Wei.

Fei Wei said. "If you haven't yet, you must learn to look at it before you can see it.

Look at the small as big, look at the micro as small, and then tell me." Chang Yi yak hung lice on the awning, looking south.

In ten days, I was baptized; after three years, I was like a wheel. Looking at the rest, they are all hills and mountains.

It uses the arc of the swallow's horn and the pole of Shuopeng to shoot it, penetrating the heart of the louse, and hanging there forever. To sue Fei Wei.

Fei Wei jumped high and said: "You have got it!" The translation is as follows, for reference only: Gan Ying was a person who was good at archery in ancient times. Before the bow was fully drawn and fired, all the birds and beasts fell down.

There was a disciple Fei Wei who learned archery from Gan Ying, and his skill surpassed that of his master. Ji Chang also learned archery from Fei Wei.

Fei Wei said: "You must first learn not to blink, and then you can talk about archery." Ji Chang returned home, lying on his back under his wife's loom, staring at the shuttle (practicing not to blink) .

Two years later, even if Ji Chang's eyelids were pricked with the sharp point of an awl, he would not blink. (He told Fei Wei about this matter), Fei Wei said: "You haven't mastered Kung Fu yet, you still need to learn to see things - see the small things as big, the small things as obvious, and then tell me again."

Ji Chang tied lice with yak hair and hung them on the window to practice looking at them from the south. After ten days, the lice (in Ji Chang's eyes) gradually grew bigger; after three years, they felt as big as a wheel.

Looking at the rest of the surrounding objects, they are all as big as hills. So he used a bow decorated with ox horns from Yan State and an arrow made from a pole from the north, and shot it at the louse. It penetrated the center of the louse, but the hair that tied the louse was not broken.

Tell Fei Wei (about this). Fei Wei happily jumped high and patted his chest and said: "You have mastered the skills." 8. Humorous short stories in classical Chinese

The art of making people laugh, its main expression is humor.

The essence of humor is to be interesting, ridiculous and meaningful. Humor is the crystallization of human wisdom and an advanced emotional and aesthetic activity. Any mediocre value orientation and rigid way of thinking have nothing to do with humor.

In real life, we can often see that the two parties are arguing fiercely, at war with each other, and at a stalemate. Often, one or two humorous words from a third party can make both parties to the dispute laugh and let go. , turning conflicts into jade and silk. In a lifeless and monotonous situation, someone's humorous talk and laughter often break the silence and activate people's tired and numb nerves, thereby creating a lively, healthy and interesting atmosphere.

Therefore, in a sense, humor is a mediator that resolves human conflicts, a stimulant that activates and enriches human life, and is an elegant spiritual activity and a beautiful way of behavior. The sixty-eight humorous stories selected here reflect the social life and human conditions of ancient Chinese society from multiple angles, especially since the Middle Ages.

These jokes are either fantasy, substance, revelation, criticism, praise, satire, ridicule, or explanation. They are varied and colorful, bringing people into an ancient and realistic charm. world, thereby obtaining the greatest spiritual and emotional satisfaction. Stealing Meat A certain person went to the capital to sell meat. He stopped to relieve himself in front of a toilet on the roadside and hung the meat outside.

Seeing this, Person B hurriedly stole the meat. Before he could go far, A had already walked out of the toilet, grabbed B, and asked B if he saw someone taking his meat from the toilet.

Fearing that A would see through, Person B had already held the meat in his mouth, and said impatiently: "You are such a fool! How could you hang the meat outside the door without losing it? If you are like me, put the meat If you hold it in your mouth, how can it be lost?" - Handan Chun of Wei Dynasty, "Xiao Lin" Name Game Xu Zhicai, King of Xiyang in the Northern Qi Dynasty, was very eloquent, especially good at word games. Before he was crowned king, he tried to play with Wang Yuanjing, the minister.

Wang Yuanjing laughed at Xu Zhicai's name and said: "Your name is 'Zhicai', what's the point? In my opinion, it's better to call it 'Wucai'." After hearing this, Xu Zhicai couldn't help but Angry and not angry, he immediately mocked Wang Yuanjing's surname: "The word '王', with the word '王' added to the left, becomes 'sheep'." "

After hearing this, Wang Yuanjing was speechless and extremely embarrassed.

Another time, Xu Zhicai entertained guests, and Lu Yuanming was also present.

During the dinner, Lu Yuanming teased Xu Zhicai's surname: "The character 'Xu' means Weiruren ("Wei" plus "彳" and "Ru")." Xu Zhicai immediately mocked Yuanming's surname. Surname - "Lu" (traditional "Lu") character: "The character 'Lu', An'ah Yinzhen gave birth to a boy to become 'Lu' ()', and when paired with 'horse' (horse), it became 'Donkey' ( Donkey)."

What he said made Lu Yuanming blush and speechless, and everyone in the audience burst into laughter. ——The old title of "Qi Yan Lu" by Hou Bai of the Sui Dynasty: Bird's Nest and Calf Later, Hou Bai became an official in the Tang Dynasty. He often guessed riddles with people. The real thing you see; 2. You can’t make false explanations to confuse people; 3. If you don’t see the thing after explaining it, you should be punished.”

Then he first revealed the riddle: “The back is the same as the house. Big, the belly is as big as the pillow (the crossbar on the back of the car), and the mouth is as big as a cup." Everyone guessed for a long time, but no one guessed it correctly. They all said: "Where in the world can the mouth be as big as a cup and the back as big as a house. There must be no such thing, you must make a bet with all of us." After Hou Bai made the bet with everyone, he explained: "This is a swallow's nest." Everyone suddenly laughed.

Another time, Hou Bai attended a large banquet. During the dinner, everyone asked him to make a riddle for fun.

The things to be guessed should neither be weird nor difficult to recognize, nor should they be abstract and unrealistic. Hou Bai responded and said, "There is something as big as a dog and very much like a cow.

What is this?" Everyone kept guessing. Some said it was a deer, some said it was a deer. But they were all rejected by everyone. Then let Hou Bai tell the answer.

Hou Bai laughed loudly and said: "This is a calf." ——The old title of Sui Dynasty Hou Bai's "Qi Yan Lu" He Zhizhang begged for Tianbao in the early years of Emperor Xuanzong of the Tang Dynasty. He Zhizhang, the well-known secretary supervisor , wrote to the imperial court, wishing to retire and become an official and return to his hometown of Wuzhong.

Xuanzong Li Longji respected him very much and treated him differently from others. Before leaving, He Zhizhang couldn't help crying when he said goodbye to Emperor Xuanzong of the Tang Dynasty.

Tang Xuanzong asked him what else he wanted. Zhizhang said: "I Zhizhang has a dog that has not yet been named. If your majesty gives it a name, it will be an honor for me to return home."

Xuanzong said: "Faith is the core of Tao, and those who are good are also trustworthy. The son of Qing It is appropriate to name him Fu."

Zhizhang thanked him for his appointment. After a long time, Zhizhang realized something unexpectedly and thought to himself: "The emperor is making fun of me too much.

I am from Wu, and the word "Fu" is the word "Zhao" plus the word "子" . He named my son 'Fu', doesn't he call my son Paw?" - Gao Yi, Song Dynasty, "Living in Groups" I don't know what poems are like. Ai Zi likes to write poems.

One day, Ai Zi wandered between Qi and Wei and stayed at a hotel. At night, he heard someone in the neighboring house saying: "One song."

After a while, he said: "Another song." Ai Zi was confused and felt no sleepiness at all, and he had no sleep all night.

Lying until dawn, *** heard the man in the next door say about six or seven times, that is, six or seven songs. Ai Zi thought that the man in the neighbor's house must be a poet. He was concentrating on reciting poems in the quiet moonlit night. He felt respected in his heart, and he loved the man's quick thinking, so he decided to get acquainted with him.

Early in the morning, Ai Zi got out of bed, put on her clothes, straightened her crown and belt, and stood at the door to greet her. After a while, a man who looked like a vendor walked out of the neighboring house. He was thin and looked sick.

Ai Zi felt very disappointed and thought: With this dignity, how can he look like a poet? Perhaps, people cannot be judged by their appearance or make blind guesses. Then he stepped forward and asked, "I heard that Mr. Wang has many poems. Can you let me read them as a student?"

The man said, "I am a businessman and I have never known what poetry is." Stuff." He always refused to come up with poems.

Ai Zi said stubbornly: "Last night I heard you saying 'One' in the house, and then saying 'One' again after a while. Isn't that a poem?" The man listened and said no. Jue couldn't help but laugh: "You misunderstood.

I had a bad stomach last night. Every time I had diarrhea, I couldn't find toilet paper at night, so I wiped it with my hands.

I had diarrhea all night and soiled my hands almost six or seven times. The ‘hand’ I am talking about is not the ‘head’ of the psalm. ”

Ai Ziting.