Wang Xinao: What are the secrets of those who have good interpersonal relationships?

I have said many times that the effect of communication depends on the response of the other party.

Many people feel that what they say is plausible and reasonable, and the other party will certainly accept it. In fact, this is all wet.

Everyone should be asked, "Are you listening?" Because they are not looking at each other or doing other things at the same time. "experience.

How to receive information is not determined by the sender (speaker), but by the receiver (listener).

As I said before, what a joke teller needs to do is not to finish the story, but to laugh at himself. You should convey this feeling and scene to the listener, and the listener will react after listening to it, indicating that your joke is qualified.

No matter how hard the receiver listens, if this emotion is not conveyed to the other party, then the other party will not know. At this time, if we can properly convey a message of "I am listening to you" to the other party, the other party can actually feel our concern.

The simplest message is to nod.

Just nodding can bring considerable peace of mind to each other. If you can cooperate with nodding your head and add some simple responses such as "hmm" or "so that's it", the effect will be better.

Furthermore, if you can "repeat" what the other party said correctly, you can better convey the feeling of * * * to the other party. In addition, repetition can also confirm the content of the other party's speech and deepen the understanding between the speaker and the listener.

There are three ways to repeat a * * *. If you keep repeating the same method, the effect will be weaker and weaker, so please take turns to use it skillfully.

0 1 Repeat the last ending (suffix) of another sentence

Speaker: I think it's best to calm down and do it again.

Audience (hereinafter referred to as the guide): That's better, isn't it?

Keywords appearing in repeated words

Speaker: I think the guiding ability will be an essential skill for leaders in the new era.

Guide: You mean, the ability to guide in the future will be very important?

Reorganize what the other person said in his own way, and then "in other words" throw it back to the other person.

Speaker: I think that product has its appeal, yes, but it doesn't hit the point, and it always feels like something is missing. ...

Introduction: In other words, you don't like it very much?

Repetition can make the other person feel accepted. But the so-called repetition does not mean agreeing with the other side's statement. Simply put, we really listened to each other and just let them know, "I have written down what you said in my mind."

Therefore, there is no need for the listener to say, "This opinion is really great! This recognition of the content of the speech, or "this is very good (or very bad)! "Value judgment". In particular, the guide should pay special attention when repeating the opinions of members, and don't inadvertently lead the discussion to his own thinking direction. It should be like "So that's it, what did you just say ..."? " And other neutral statements to respond to the discussion of members.

After synchronizing with the other party's frequency, start the power-on again.

In addition to listening and reciting, there is also a skill to convey * * * to each other, which is called "pacing".

The so-called synchronization is to adjust the rhythm and performance of your communication, such as words, tone, speed, expression, movement and posture, to the same level as the other party. For example, the following dialogue is a kind of synchronization.

Speaker: whenever I mention that manager, I am full of complaints. I worked hard to get this case, but he talked about it, as if it was his credit, boasting everywhere! (lean forward and open your hands)

Audience: What? Did he do it? This is really too much! (lean forward and open your hands)

For an already emotional speaker, use "Oh, why do you say that? The manager also has some advantages ... "You will only get each other" Hum! This guy has no idea what happened! The opposite effect.

The first thing to do is to use synchronous skills (empathy) to convey the feelings of * * * and shape the affinity relationship.

Next, wait for the other person's mood to ease a little, and then ask, "Why on earth did he do such a thing?" The way to guide each other's pace. This practice is very effective for people who are in an emotional state because of heated discussions, or who take an uncooperative attitude because they feel alienated. This is a guiding skill that you must learn.

Another method is to synchronize the communication modes of both parties.

In the face of a person who speaks very logically, answering him in the same logical mode will not only make him understand, but also make him feel "Ah, this boy is a good talker".

If you are dealing with a person with strong visual sensitivity, you should use more diagrams when communicating; If you are dealing with an emotional and intuitive person, it will be effective to resort to emotional expression when communicating.

Simply put, it is to respond to each other with each other's communication methods. In this way, the other party will think that this boy and I have feelings for temper, and your words will be easier to understand.

There is no doubt that you need training to learn synchronization skills, but "take care of yourself" can make it easier for you. People like mothers, when facing the baby, will naturally speak in the child's language and make exaggerated movements. This is also a kind of synchronization-and it is done naturally without anyone's teaching.

In order to maintain good interpersonal relationships, synchronous empathy is one of the skills that everyone should learn. I hope you can realize this and use this skill as much as possible. For more details, you can go back to the sales bureau, where we have talked about the synchronization strategy in detail.