Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - 1000 will change the composition of apology. Cite examples of ancient celebrities.

1000 will change the composition of apology. Cite examples of ancient celebrities.

Legend has it that one year, Luban accepted the task of building a huge palace. The palace needed a lot of wood, so Lu Ban sent his disciples up the mountain to cut down trees. Since there was no saw at that time, his disciples had to use axes to cut, but the efficiency was very low. The craftsmen had to work hard every morning. I'm exhausted. I can't cut down many trees, which is far from meeting the needs of the project. The progress of the project has been delayed again and again. Seeing that the project deadline is getting closer and closer, I am anxious for Luban. To this end, he decided to personally go up the mountain to see the situation of cutting trees. When going up the mountain, he accidentally caught a handful of weeds growing on the mountain, but suddenly cut his hand. Lu Ban wants to know why a grass is so sharp. So he picked a leaf and observed it carefully. He found many small teeth on both sides of the leaf. These little teeth are very sharp when he touches it gently. He knew that his hand had been cut by these small teeth. Later, Lu Ban saw a big locust eating leaves in a meadow. The two large molds are very sharp. As soon as they opened and closed, they quickly ate a big piece. This also aroused Lu Ban's curiosity. He caught a locust and carefully observed the structure of its teeth. He found that locusts also had many small teeth on their two big dies, which were used by locusts to bite grass leaves. These two things left a deep impression on Lu Ban, and also gave him great inspiration. He fell into deep thinking. He thought, if the tool for cutting wood is serrated, isn't it sharp? It will be much easier to cut down trees. So he made a bamboo with many small serrations from a big bamboo, and then went to a small tree to do experiments. The result is really good. After a few quick tugs, the bark was torn, and after a few more tugs, a deep ditch was made in the small tree stem. Luban is very happy. However, bamboo can not be used for a long time because of its softness and poor strength. After pulling for a while, some small serrations are broken and some are dull, so it is necessary to replace bamboo. This affects the speed of cutting down trees, and it is also a great waste to use too many bamboo pieces. It seems that bamboo is not suitable for making sawtooth, so we should find a material with higher strength and hardness to replace it. At this time, Lu Ban thought of the iron sheet. So they immediately went down the mountain, and the blacksmith helped to make small serrated iron pieces, and then went up the mountain to continue their practice. Lu Ban and his apprentice each pulled one end and pulled it up on a tree. I saw them coming and going, and soon I sawed off the tree, which was quick and labor-saving, and the saw was invented. Before Luban, many people must have been cut off by Mo Ye. Why only Luban was inspired by it and invented the saw is undoubtedly worthy of our consideration. Most people just think that this is a trivial matter in life and it is not worth making a fuss about. After the wound heals, they tend to forget it. However, Lu Ban has strong curiosity and correct ideas. He paid great attention to observing, thinking and delving into some small things in life, from which he found ways and ideas to solve problems and even obtained some creative inventions. This tells us a truth. Paying attention to many trivial things in life and thinking seriously will increase a lot of wisdom. After inventing the saw, Lu Ban invented many woodworking tools, which are recorded in ancient books. References:

/GX sat/KJYY/kpcl/KJMR/205 14。 When shtml was a child, Bill Gates was very active and often couldn't calm down. His favorite thing is to sit on the wooden horse and swing around. Interestingly, even now that he has grown up, he sometimes shakes involuntarily! This became his unique trick.

When Newton was three years old, he had already shown his greatness. When ordinary children like to run around and play with friends, he prefers to hide in the house alone, holding hammers and nails, banging on boards and making favorite small handicrafts. One day, the inventor Edison handed a light bulb to his assistant, Aptom, a graduate of mathematics at Princeton University, and asked him to calculate the volume of a glass light bulb. Aptom pondered the light bulb for a long time, then measured it up and down with a tape measure, drew many sketches on the paper, filled in various sizes and listed many formulas. There is no result yet. Edison saw him sweating profusely, so he said to him, "My God, you'd better use this method to calculate!" " "He filled the light bulb with water and handed it to appleton. He said, "Pour this water into the measuring cup and look at its volume, which is the volume of the light bulb." Hearing this, the assistant suddenly realized, so he worked it out quickly. Teenagers should combine book knowledge with practice when learning knowledge, so that they can learn vividly, remember and use it. When Wang Chonghui jurist Wang Chonghui was in London, he once attended a banquet for the diplomatic community. During the dinner, an English lady asked Wang Chonghui, "I heard that both men and women in your country got married according to the words of a matchmaker, and they didn't fall in love. What a mistake! Like us, we all got married after a long period of love and a deep understanding of each other. How happy this is! Wang Chonghui smiled and replied, "It's like two pots of water." . Our pot is cold water, which is gradually heated on the stove and then boiled. Therefore, the relationship between husband and wife in China was very cold at first, and then gradually improved, so there were few incidents after divorce. And you are like a pot of boiling water. After you get married, it will get cold slowly. I heard that there are many divorce cases in England. Is this the reason? Yang Xiaolou Yang Xiaolou (1877- 1937) played Guan Ping in the first scene of the Peking Opera "Qingshishan". Zhou Cang's old partner asked for leave, and temporarily changed his face. The flower-faced man drank a little wine and got on the stage in a daze, forgetting to bring the indispensable prop-beard. When Yang Xiaolou saw something bad, he thought the actor had made a mistake and the audience was booed. I had a brainwave and temporarily added a line: "Cough! Who is standing in front of you? " Playing Zhou Cang is puzzled. I don't know what's going on. "I'm Zhou Cang-"At this time, the students have to do an action: trim their beards. This reason woke the actor up, but he changed his mind and said, "-my son!" " "Yang Xiaolou took it and said," well, it's no use to you. Hurry down and call your dad! " "Get the jade seal!" The actor hurried down to grow a beard and went on stage again. Hu Shi Hu Shi (1891-kloc-0/962), a famous modern scholar in China, is a rabbit, and his wife Jiang Dongxiu is a tiger. Hu Shi often joked: "Rabbits are afraid of tigers. "At that time, there was a joke that Hu Shi was afraid of his wife. On one occasion, a friend in Paris gave Hu Shi more than a dozen ancient French copper coins. Because there is the letter "PTT" on the money, it sounds like "fear of the wife". Hu Shi joked with several friends who were afraid of their wives: "If a wife-fearing association is established, these copper coins will be used as badges for members. "Hu Shi often goes to the university to give lectures. Once, in a university, he often quoted Confucius, Mencius and Dr. Sun Yat-sen in his speeches. When quoting, he wrote on the blackboard: "Confucius said", "Meng said" and "Sun said". Finally, when he expressed his opinion, it caused a burst of laughter. It turned out that all he wrote was "nonsense". Guo Moruo 1945, Liao Xiongbing, a famous cartoonist in China, exhibited the cartoon "Spring and Autumn in Cat Country" in Chongqing. At that time, many cultural celebrities in Chongqing, such as Guo Moruo (1892- 1978), Song Yunbin and Wang Qi, were invited to attend the ribbon-cutting ceremony of the first exhibition. During the dinner, Guo Moruo asked Liao, "Why is your name so strange? Why do you always call yourself your brother?"? Wang Qi, a printmaker, grabbed the woman and explained, "His sister's name is Bing, so he is called Brother Bing." . Guo Moruo said with a smile, "Oh, I see, Yu Dafu's wife must be called Yu Da, and Shao Lizi's father must be called Shao Li." A word caused laughter from all the guests in the room. There is a philosophical story in the short story of celebrities. Once, British Prime Minister Churchill attended a lecture entitled "The Secret of Success" and said only two words: "My secret of success is three: first, never give up; Second, never, never give up; Third, never, never, never give up! My speech is over. " After a minute of silence, warm applause broke out at the venue and lasted for a long time. At the beginning of the 20th century, an Italian-American left a spiritual wealth for mankind. His name is Frank. After hard work, he saved a sum of money to open a small bank, but a robbery led to his extraordinary experience. He went bankrupt and the depositors lost their savings. He decided to do his best to repay the depositors. You are not responsible for this matter. "He replied," I may not have legal responsibility, but I have moral responsibility. I should pay back the money. " The price of repayment is 39 years of hard life. At the time of paying the last "debt", he sighed, "I finally lost weight." He completed his responsibility with his life's hard work and sweat, leaving a real wealth to the world. The American "invented the telephone automatic dialing machine at the age of 16 because he spent time studying tirelessly, and there were more than 1000 inventions in his life." At the age of 79, he said to his guests, "I 135 years old. "Isn't it strange? It turned out that Edison worked more than 18 hours a day, which extended his life. Roger, a Chinese-American son, got his diploma at the graduation ceremony held at Yi Shi State University in Idaho on May 6, 1983, becoming the youngest university graduate in the world. His advisor, Bobo, said, "He studied all the courses that college students should take. It took him three years. " Therefore, his name was listed in Records of American College Students, jules verne,/kloc-a famous French novelist in the 9th century. At that time, his first science fiction novel was rejected by 15 publishing house. He was sad and angry, and he planned to set fire to it. His family encouraged him with a manuscript, so he managed to get into 16 publishing house. Manager. But it took almost 40 years from Samuel Morse's invention of telegraph in 1837 to the invention of telephone in 1876. After the invention of telegraph, due to its fast transmission speed, it quickly attracted the attention of all countries. But telegrams need to be drafted in advance, and some have to be translated into codes, and then hand over handwritten or digital telegrams to the telegraph office, which will be sent out in sequence by the operator. If you call back, the other party should follow the same procedure after receiving the telegram, that is, draw up the draft of the call back first, and some of it should be translated into code and then sent back to the local telegraph office. It takes a long time to go back and forth. Therefore, people are not satisfied with telegrams. If only there was a communication tool at that time! After the invention of the telegraph, many people wanted to invent the telephone. They think that since telegrams can transmit telegraph signals through on-off current, can we use the principle of on-off current to transmit human voice? This idea was impossible under the technical conditions at that time, so many inventors failed in their experiments. About 1860, an inventor named Les in Germany successfully transmitted a melody with electric current for the first time. Although it is not human voice, it is already a great invention. He named the device he invented "telephone" and later became the name of the telephone, which has been in use ever since. Alexander Graham Bell (1847 ~ 1922), inventor of telephone, was born in Edinburgh, Scotland on March 3, 1947. Both his father and grandfather are engaged in deaf education. Bell was influenced by his childhood and became interested in acoustics and linguistics. When he grew up, he studied at Edinburgh University and London University to study the physiology of human language. From 65438 to 0873, he became a professor of sound physiology at Boston University. But the project he began to study was not telephone, but multiplex telegraph. 1On the afternoon of June 2nd, 873, Bell and his assistant thomas watson jointly tested their telegrams in two rooms. A reed on the telegram in Watson's room was stuck by a magnet. When Watson opened the reed, Bell found that the reed on the telegraph in his room was vibrating and making a sound. This discovery aroused the interest of the thoughtful scholar and produced new ideas. He believes that people's voice is a kind of air vibration. If you speak into a thin iron diaphragm, it will make the diaphragm vibrate. If an electromagnet is placed behind the diaphragm, the vibration of the diaphragm will change the distance from the electromagnet, change the magnetic field lines of the electromagnet, and induce a corresponding changing current in the electromagnet coil. This current is transmitted to the electromagnet coil of the same device along the wire, which will change the magnetic field lines of the electromagnet and attract the diaphragm in front, thus making a sound. He told Watson the idea. Watson, an electrical engineer, agreed with him very much, so he started research and development. On June 3rd, 1875, I finally made a "phone call". This kind of telephone can only transmit a single tone, but can't transmit the complete words of people. But they are already satisfied with the initial results. Later, after repeated trials and improvements, they finally made a breakthrough and submitted a patent application to the US Patent Office on February 1876. On March 7th, 1876, the Patent Office approved Bell's patent right and confirmed their invention. 1876 March 10, when Dambert and Watson jointly tested their phones in two rooms, Watson heard Bell's complete sentence for the first time: "Watson, please come here, I need you! "This is the first complete sentence transmitted by telephone in human history. The telephone originally invented was very simple. This kind of telephone can only transmit information in one direction. Later, after many people's research and improvement, it was gradually improved. Compass is one of the great inventions in the history of China, and it is also an important contribution of China to the development of world civilization. Compass is a pointing instrument made of the north and south polarities of magnets in the earth's magnetic field. The picture on the left shows the hook pointer repair model. This characteristic of magnets was used by the ancients to make guiding tools. The earliest tour guide was Sina, which was widely used in China. It is made of natural magnets and looks like a spoon. Its center of gravity is in the middle of the bottom, the chassis is smooth, and there are 24 directions engraved around it. When in use, put the spoon on the chassis and gently stir it with your hands to make it rotate. When it stops, the long handle points south. Wang Chong recorded its shape and usage in the Eastern Han Dynasty. It is also said that Zheng people went to distant places to collect jade, so they brought Sina to avoid getting lost. In addition, the invention of the compass also promoted this instrument to a higher level. The right picture shows the South Guide Car Model, and the following picture shows the imaginary pictures of South Guide Fish and Sina Car Model respectively. Sina, made of natural magnets, has low finished products and weak magnetism. In the Song Dynasty, people invented the artificial magnetization method and made a guide fish and a compass, which was more simple and practical. Natural magnets are used to rub steel needles to keep the guiding performance under the action of geomagnetic field; In the future, it will be installed on the azimuth disk, called a compass. This is a great leap in the history of compass development. I also made a detailed study on the method of placing the compass, summed up four different methods and compared them: First, Shui Piao method. Shen Kuo didn't explain how to float the compass on the water to indicate the direction. It was not until the late Northern Song Dynasty that the pharmacologist Kou Zongxuan's (Materia Medica Derived Magnetism) was introduced. It turns out that if you put rushes on the compass, the needle will float. The disadvantage of water flotation is that the magnetic needle will swing with the water. Second, the nail rotation method. Putting the magnetic needle on the nail can run flexibly, but the disadvantage is that it is easy to slide down. Third, the bowl and lip rotation method. Putting the magnetic needle on the edge of the bowl can also rotate freely, but it is also easy to fall off. Fourth, the hanging line method. Take a new cotton thread, stick it in the center of the magnetic needle with a little wax, and hang it in a windless place to indicate the direction. Comparatively speaking, Shen Kuo thinks this method is the most ideal. The picture on the right shows four experimental restoration designs of the sunken compass. Compass is a common directional tool in 1 1 century. The greatest contribution of compass is that it greatly promotes the development of navigation. According to research, the compass began to be used for navigation at the end of 1 1. From the end of 12 century to the beginning of 13 century, the compass was introduced to Arabia by sea, and then to Europe by Arabia. Four great inventions-papermaking is an important chemical process. The invention of paper is a very valuable contribution made by China in the spread and development of human culture, and also a great achievement in the history of chemistry in China. Before the invention of paper, Oracle Bone Inscriptions, bamboo slips and silk were ancient materials used for writing and recording. However, due to the rapid economic and cultural development in the Western Han Dynasty, Oracle Bone Inscriptions and bamboo slips can no longer meet the needs of development, thus promoting the improvement of writing tools. At that time, people had begun to use small pieces of paper made of silk floss, because archaeologists discovered an ancient piece of paper in Robnaoer, Xin Qiang in 1933. It is "hemp, white, made into square slices, with incomplete surroundings, about 40 cm long and 100 cm wide. It's rough and uneven, and there are hemp tendons on the paper. However, when the cover was first made into paper, hemp fiber and silk floss had their own functions. If it is used as a raw material for papermaking, it will inevitably be greatly limited, and it is difficult to develop rapidly to meet the requirements of cultural life for paper. Under the requirements of the new objective situation, the appearance of Cai Lun has brought a new breakthrough to papermaking. It is recorded in the second volume of The View of the Eastern Han Dynasty: "Cai Lun was talented, honest and cautious. He took a break every time, closed the door and thanked guests, exposing himself to the field. Canon is even better, and plans to use bark, cloth and fishing nets as paper. In the first year of Yuanxing, the emperor had good ability and naturally did not need it. The world is salty and called Cai Hou paper. As can be seen from the above, Cai Lun uses bark, rags and fishing nets to make paper. Although there was paper in Cai Lun before, the raw materials were limited. The discovery of new raw materials in Cai Lun solved this problem. Because rags and fishing nets have completed their tasks, they have become waste and used as raw materials, which has a great promotion effect on the paper industry. The use of new raw materials will inevitably put forward the requirements of new technologies. However, due to the loss of classics, the actual operation has been lacking in records and it is impossible to know. But it is probably to tear or cut a piece of cloth or net first, and then soak it in water for a long time, which needs to be mashed before it can be made into pulp. It is more difficult to make paper from bark. In addition to the initial chopping at the back, it needs to be cooked in the middle, and a decomposition accelerator such as lime slurry should be added. The following picture shows the ancient papermaking projects in China (curtain pressing) and (dry drying and fire drying). Gunpowder is one of the four great inventions in China. Gunpowder, as the name implies, is (the medicine that gets angry). Its origin is closely related to alchemy, which was inadvertently prepared by ancient alchemists during alchemy. The picture on the left shows the bronzes of the Yuan Dynasty. It is a mixture of sulfur, saltpeter and charcoal. The first two items were listed as important medicinal materials in China's first pharmacological classic (Shennong Materia Medica Classic) written in Han Dynasty. Even gunpowder itself is classified as a drug. According to Li Shizhen's Compendium of Materia Medica in Ming Dynasty, gunpowder can cure sores and tinea, kill insects, eliminate dampness and plague. The invention of gunpowder is the result of people's long-term practice of alchemy, and it has a history of 1000 years. At the end of the Tang Dynasty, gunpowder had been used in the military. In the first year of God bless in Tang Zhaozong (904), Yang Xingmi led an army to besiege Zhang Yu, and Zheng Kun's department (led troops to launch Fei Huo, burned the dragon shaman, led the strong men to log in to the city first, and was anxious for quilts). The (Fei Huo) here refers to (artillery) and (rocket). (artillery) is to make the powder into a ring, ignite the messenger wire and throw it out with a trebuchet; (Rocket) is to tie a pink ball under an arrow, light a messenger wire and shoot it with a bow. In the Song Dynasty, disputes continued, which accelerated the development of gunpowder weapons. The Northern Wei government established gunpowder workshops, and successively produced gunpowder arrows, artillery and other weapons with strong explosive power (thunderbolt) and (thunderbolt). 1259, Nanwei built a gun with giant bamboo as the barrel and gunpowder inside. In the Yuan Dynasty, the bronze casting fire system appeared again, which was called (General Copper). These weapons are all powered by the explosion of gunpowder, showing unprecedented power in the struggle. The picture on the right shows Nanwei musket. 12 and 13 centuries, gunpowder was first introduced to Arab countries, and then to Greece, Europe and even the whole world. It has promoted the civilization and progress of human society and promoted the development of economy, science and culture. It was not until the middle of14th century that the United States and France recorded the use of gunpowder and firearms. The picture on the left shows the northern gunpowder arrow. The four great inventions-printing seal, rubbing, printing and dyeing, and block printing seal existed in the pre-Qin period. Generally, only a few words indicate names, official positions or institutions. All seals are engraved and reflected, and there is a difference between yin and yang. Before paper appeared, official documents or letters were written on bamboo slips. After writing, tie it with a rope, put sticky mud on the ligation place to seal the knot, and cover the seal on the mud, which is called mud seal. Mud seal was printed on mud, which was a secret means at that time. After the appearance of paper, mud seal evolved into paper seal, which was covered at the joint of several official documents or the sealing of official documents paper bags. According to records, during the Northern Qi Dynasty (550~577 AD), someone made a big seal for stamping official documents, much like a small engraving. Bronze seal in the Warring States period (475 BC-22 BC1year). Ge Hong, a famous alchemist in the Jin Dynasty (AD 284-363), mentioned in his book Bao Puzi that Taoism used the word "four inches square" (13.5× 13.5) and "big wooden seal" 120. This is already a small block. In order to make Buddhist scriptures more vivid, Buddhists often print Buddha statues on the frontispiece of Buddhist scriptures. This kind of hand block printing is much more convenient than hand painting. Inscription technology is very enlightening to the invention of engraving printing technology. The invention of stone carving has a long history. Ten-sided stone drums were discovered in Fengxiang, Shaanxi Province in the early Tang Dynasty. They are the stone carvings of Qin in the Spring and Autumn Period of the 8th century BC. Qin Shihuang went on patrol and carved stones in important places seven times. After the Eastern Han Dynasty, stone tablets prevailed. In the fourth year of Emperor Ling of the Han Dynasty (AD 175), Cai Yong suggested that the imperial court set up seven Confucian classic stone tablets, including The Book of Songs, Shangshu, Zhouyi, Book of Rites, Spring and Autumn Annals, Biography of the Ram and The Analects of Confucius, with 209,000 words, which were engraved on 46 stone tablets. It took eight years to carve it all. Become a classic of scholars at that time. Many people compete to copy. Later, especially during the Wei, Jin and Six Dynasties, some people took advantage of being unprepared or unattended to print the scriptures on paper for their own use or sale. The results were widely circulated. The ancients found that a slightly wet piece of paper was covered on the stone tablet and tapped with a soft mallet to make the paper fall into the concave part of the stone tablet. When the paper is dry, it is wrapped in cotton, dipped in ink, and tapped lightly on the paper, leaving the same black and white characters on the paper as the stone tablet. This method is simpler and more reliable than manual copying. So rubbing appeared. Friction is one of the important conditions of printing technology. Printing and dyeing technology also has great enlightenment to block printing. Printing and dyeing is to engrave the pattern on the board and print it on the cloth with dye. China's printing plates are divided into relief and hollowed-out versions. 1972 two pieces of printed yarn (about 165 BC) unearthed from the Han tomb at Mawangdui No.1 in Changsha, Hunan Province were printed by block printing. This technology may be earlier than Qin and Han Dynasties, but it can be traced back to the Warring States Period. After the invention of paper, this technology may be used in printing. As long as the cloth is turned into paper and the dye is turned into ink, the printed thing becomes block printing. In the stone chambers of Dunhuang, there are Buddha statues printed with convex plates and hollow plates in the Tang Dynasty. Seal cutting, rubbing, printing and dyeing technologies are mutually inspired and blended, and with the experience and wisdom of our people, block printing technology came into being. Hua Tuo's Wu Qin Xi was a great physician and pharmacologist at the end of the Eastern Han Dynasty in China, and made great contributions to enriching and enriching the ancient medical treasure house in China. Hua Tuo is not only proficient in medical skills, but also attaches great importance to the health care function of physical exercise. Once, while studying in the study, Hua Tuo saw a child swinging the latch back and forth. He immediately thought of the old book, "A family is not slow, running water does not rot. "Why don't people exercise every day like this to make the blood flow? Later, referring to "Introduction" (a method of overall physical exercise), Warren sorted out a set of boxing methods for physical exercise, which was called "Five Birds Play". This kind of exercise is a gymnastics that imitates the movements of five animals, such as tigers, deer, bears, apes and birds, and can stretch the joints, back, waist and limbs of the whole body. Hua Tuo's disciple, Wu Pu, has been doing "Five Birds Show" for decades and has lived to be over 90 years old. He still has light steps, bright ears and strong teeth. From this, we can see that "Wuqinxi" is an effective fitness gymnastics.