Baidu joke happy event

One day, Aries and a lion walked into the restaurant.

What did the boss say you wanted? The sheep said,' A set meal. Thank you. "

The boss asked again, "isn't your lion hungry?"

The sheep said, "No, thanks."

The boss wouldn't give up and asked, really? '

The sheep said yes

The boss is a little unwilling to ask:' Think again, is it really unnecessary?

The sheep growled impatiently. Do you think I can still be here if it is hungry?

2. A woman disguised as a man went to join the army. She had her period on the battlefield. As soon as the company commander saw it, he let the stretcher carry her away. She didn't say anything. The company commander is in a hurry. He took off her pants and said, "What's nothing? JB was bombed and said nothing? " ! "

One night, the mother coaxed 10-year-old son to sleep alone in his room. The little guy just wanted his mother to sleep with him, but the helpless mother said, "You are a shame. Such a big person still needs his mother to sleep with him!" "

"Dad is not old, you have to sleep with him every day!" The son said confidently.

4. When I saw her face with a shy and lovely expression, I couldn't help shivering and asked in a low voice, "What about you ... do you really like me?" She buried her head and said, "Guess!" "I like it ~" Her face is redder and her head is lower. "Guess again!"

On the bus, a standing pregnant woman said to the man sitting next to her, don't you know I'm pregnant? See that person says nervously only: "the child is not mine!" ! "

6. A man wanted to jump off a building, and his wife shouted: Husband, don't be impulsive, we still have a long way to go! Hearing this, the man swooped down. The policeman said, "You really shouldn't threaten him like this! ! "

7. Children are thinking about "heredity and environment". Mother interjected: "This question is very simple. Everyone knows that if a child is like a father, it is hereditary. " Like neighbors, that's the environment. "

8. A couple went to register for marriage. "Have you ever had a premarital examination?" "Checked, his home. The cars are gone. " "I'm going to the hospital." The young woman blushed and whispered, "Yes, it's a boy."

9. Xiao Di MM has a swimming class for the first time. An hour later, she said to the coach, "I think, is that enough for today?" "Why?" "I really can't drink any more."

10. After the Tang Priest drove Wukong away, he met a monster again and had to spell to call Wukong back for help. Soon a loud voice came from the air: Sorry, the subscriber you dialed is out of service, please redial later.

1 1. A gorilla came to the zoo, so ugly that tourists threw up. One day I went and I vomited; Another day, you went and the orangutan threw up.

12. In Chinese class, the teacher called a sleepy classmate to answer questions. The classmate was in a daze and couldn't say anything ... The teacher said, "Is that okay?" I won't scream either! Classmate: "Cheep." "

13. The child stole the parrot kept in the brothel. As soon as he entered the door, the parrot called, Move! Seeing his mother, he shouted: The boss has changed, too! Seeing his sister, he shouted, Miss has changed! Seeing his father, he shouted, I'm still an old customer!

14. Mice are particularly depressed without girlfriends. Finally, a bat agreed to marry him, and the mouse was very happy. Others laughed at his lack of foresight. Mouse: What do you know? She is at least a stewardess.

15. Xiao Zhiruo: Mom, why does the aunt who gives medicine wear a mask?

Mom: The medicine I gave you is delicious. The dean is worried that they will steal it.

Xiao Zhiruo: Wearing masks for those uncles with knives is because they are afraid of eating, right?

16. The driver who applied for a driver's license lost his job after handling the marriage certificate, because he habitually asked, "Are you for entertainment or business?"

17. The woman is ugly and can't get married, hoping to be trafficked. Finally, my dream came true, but I couldn't sell it for half a month. When the kidnapper brought it back, she insisted on not getting off the bus. The kidnapper gritted his teeth and stamped his feet: go, don't take the car! ! !

18.20 years ago, dad held you waiting for the bus. Everyone laughed at the ugly child, and dad cried. An old man selling bananas patted his father and said, "Don't cry, big brother, give the monkey a banana!" " ! Poor thing, I'm so hungry that I have no hair. "