Do you have any jokes or make people happy? Thank you, God, can you help me?

1) A patient comes to a psychiatrist. Patient: I always felt like I was a bird. Doctor: Oh, that’s serious. When did it start? Patient: Ever since I was a little bird... (2) A doctor at a mental hospital asked the patient: What would happen to you if I cut off one of your ears? The patient replied: Then I won't be able to hear it. The doctor listened: Yes, that’s normal. The doctor asked again: What would happen to you if I cut off your other ear? The patient replied: Then I won't be able to see it. The doctor started to get nervous. Why couldn't he see it? The patient replied: Because the glasses will fall off. (3) Two mental patients escaped from the hospital. The two ran and ran and climbed up a tree. One of them jumped down from the tree and rolled. Then he raised his head and said to the person above: Hey, why don't you come down? The person above answered him: No - OK - ah - I'm not familiar with it yet... (4) There is an old lady in the mental hospital. She wears black clothes and holds a black umbrella every day, squatting at the door of the mental hospital. The doctor thought: To cure her, we must start by understanding her. So the doctor also wore black clothes, held a black umbrella, and squatted there with her. The two squatted in silence for a month, and the old lady finally spoke to the doctor: Excuse me, are you also a mushroom? (5) A mental hospital heard that the leader was coming to the hospital to inspect the situation, so the director called a meeting with the patients. At the meeting, the dean said: "This afternoon, very important leaders are coming to visit, and everyone must go to the door to welcome them. During the welcome, all patients should stand on both sides of the hospital door and stand neatly. When When I cough, everyone claps together, the louder the better; when I stamp my feet, everyone must stop, and no one can make a mistake. As long as everyone is done, we can eat meat buns for everyone tonight, as long as one person messes up, No one has any buns to eat, remember?" The patients in the audience shouted together: "Remember!" That afternoon, the leader arrived on time. When he entered the door, the welcoming patients were already standing at the door. At this time, as the director coughed, all the patients clapped and welcomed him, and the atmosphere was very warm. The visiting leaders were infected by the warm atmosphere and walked into the hospital with smiles on their faces and applause with everyone. Seeing that the leader had entered the hospital, the director stamped his foot and all the applause stopped, very neatly. Only this leader continued to move forward with a smile and applause. The dean was very satisfied. Suddenly, a patient as strong as Schwarzenegger emerged from the welcoming crowd, strode up to the leader, gave him a big slap in the face with a round fist, and shouted angrily: "You don't want to eat steamed buns anymore?" "A Beijinger, a Frenchman, and an American were walking in the desert together and were about to die of thirst. Suddenly the three of them found a magic lamp. When they touched it, they pulled out a magic lamp. He said, "I can satisfy each of you." "Three wishes." The American said first, "I want a box of dollars." "There are two more." "Well, another box of dollars." "The last one." "Well, the last one is to send me back to the United States." Hey, The Americans were gone, and the French were also anxious. "I want a beautiful woman." came "Well, I want another beautiful woman." "There is another one." "Well, send me back to France." Phew, the French were also gone, and the rest The Beijinger said calmly, "Give me a bottle of Erguotou," "I have two more wishes," "Another bottle of Erguotou," and "There's one more." The Beijinger saw that it was pointless to drink two bottles of wine alone. Speaking of "bring them back and drink with me", the Americans and the French are back again.

b After hearing what a said, he took the fries very carefully with his palm. Teacher: Why don’t you dip it in ketchup? b I accidentally dipped it in too much, so I flicked it with my fingers immediately... Teacher: You are very skilled in flicking the ash. Call parents... [Scene 3] Teacher: Do you smoke? Boy C: Don’t smoke. Teacher: No, okay, let’s eat some French fries. c Because of the previous two examples, I finished eating the fries very carefully and sweating. Teacher: Why don’t you take the roots back to your classmates? c After taking the fries, he put it on his ear... Teacher: Don't suck it? Call parents... [Scene 4] Teacher: Do you smoke? Boy d: Don’t smoke. Teacher: Very good, let’s eat some French fries. d finished the fries with fear. Teacher: Why don’t you take the roots back to your classmates? d carefully put the chips into his coat pocket. The teacher suddenly shouted: The principal is here! d Quickly took out the chips from his pocket and threw them on the ground, stomping them hard with his feet... Teacher: Don’t suck? ! Call parents... [Scene 5] Teacher: Do you smoke? Boy e: No, Teacher: Very good, let’s eat French fries. e Just took the fries, and the teacher said: Won’t you treat me to some? e quickly handed over the fries with both hands, and then took out the lighter... Teacher: Don't smoke? ! Call parents... [Scene 6] Teacher: Do you smoke? Boy f: Don’t smoke. Teacher: Very good, let’s eat some French fries. f finished eating with fear. Teacher: Suddenly he shouted: The principal is here! f His palms were sweating, but he still lowered his head calmly and said: Hello, principal! Teacher: The principal will smell your mouth. f took out the French fries: No, it’s still here, the fire hasn’t even started yet... [Scene 7] Teacher: Do you smoke or not? Boy g: Promise to God, I will never smoke. Teacher: You really don’t want to smoke? OK, let's eat some root fries. g took the fries very naturally and ate them all. Teacher: What a good boy. What brand of French fries do you usually like? g (getting carried away): Greater China... [Scene 8] Teacher: Let’s eat French fries. Boy n: Thank you, no. Teacher:... The website of the complete list of jokes: /ym.htm