That guy helped me write a humorous but profound comment to my wife?

Hello/

First of all, thank you for giving me a valuable opportunity to turn over a new leaf. Your teachings will never be forgotten. The following is my profound understanding of my crimes;

One; I shouldn't show my true colors in front of beautiful women. [First of all,

I want to declare that you are also a beauty. The women referred to in this article are all women except you, and they are highly consistent with your remarks. I shouldn't have seen a fox with glowing eyes and involuntary saliva. This is a mistake.

I often have bad habits. Although you are so beautiful and dazzling, I have never experienced this psychological reaction. I have diagnosed it privately. Don't forget that I'm in the medical field. It may be caused by my endocrine disorder. At present, the development of science and technology in China is not very advanced, and medical technology can not completely eradicate this stubborn disease for the time being. Therefore, although this phenomenon is detrimental to a man's image and your husband's identity, please understand your wife.

Second; I shouldn't say I'm not married in front of the fox, giving the fox an opportunity. In fact, I am also a victim in this respect. I think I come from a humble family. Compared with your rich family, I am simply calm. In order not to damage your family's reputation and reputation, I am usually embarrassed to say that I am your husband. Who knows, the fox has taken advantage of this. You should forgive me, wife.

Third; I shouldn't brag in front of foxes, saying that I am a princeling, and I graduated from Harvard University with a doctor's degree, with an annual salary of 5 million dollars, so my boasting also attracted a large number of foxes. I think it's wrong for me to boast. Honey, I won't brag in the future. You have to forgive me.

Fourth; I shouldn't have touched that fox. I experienced the life of ordinary people in the hotel with you. When you came back from the bathroom, you just saw me put my hand on the thigh of the fox sitting next to you. Actually, I met it by accident. I had a bad habit when I was a child, and I was afraid to tell you. That was indirect ADHD when I was a child. Although my parents died in bad business for many years, my cousin in the country today can.

Fifth, you should not go to hair salons and beauty salons often. Because you often tell me to pay attention to my image, and my job as vice president is relatively easy, so I went there to maintain my good image and relax. But I want to give my wife some advice, which can give young people more courage, increase their responsibilities and exercise their shins hard.

Because of his hard work, he certainly didn't have time to go to those places, so the salary of girls in hair salons was less.

Six; My friend told you a rumor that I have close ties with several foxes. That's your misunderstanding. The so-called close contact refers to chatting online on the computer, not really close contact with the body. If you don't believe me, please go to the Internet cafe and ask other people who surf the Internet.

Seven; I shouldn't bring a fox to my house [especially where I work and live]. From the above understanding, foxes are very dangerous and generally should not be taken home.

Yes, but I also want to explain that several foxes you have seen go out from my house. One is to pay the water bill, the other is to collect the electricity bill, and the other is to come to the door.

Selling foxes, and so on ... but I also want to suggest: Wife, you'd better help me recruit a woman under 16 in the future, [because she is underage, she can't be called a fox.

I will be responsible for this kind of work in the future so as not to be misunderstood.

Due to time constraints, I won't list all the crimes I have committed. In the future, I promise to turn over a new leaf, make no mistakes up and down, and a man keeps his word.

Please see my future performance.

Dear wife:

According to your wishes, I reflected in the study for one hour, forty-three minutes and seven seconds, drank a cup of boiled water, went to the toilet once and didn't smoke. The above facts are accurate, please check. Attach my review report, and the improper part can be negotiated.

After three months of married life, I think my wife is gentle, virtuous, diligent and intelligent, and she is a rare good wife. As a husband, I am eccentric and frivolous, and what I have done is really debatable. The following is my analysis of my bad behavior, please have a look at the leaders:

1. I was wrong about yesterday. Although the braised eggplant you made is a little salty, it is mellow and delicious, and its flaws are not hidden. I shouldn't accuse you of wasting salt. I'm so demanding and accusing, I'm totally jealous. But adding some water is ok.

When you said you liked Lu Yi, I shouldn't have said I liked Liang Yongqi, which caused you to ignore me for two days, which was extremely painful. I think my answer is really inappropriate, because your playboy is still confined to the mainland, but I rushed to Hong Kong and Taiwan. I prefer Zhou Xun.

You like watching Little Ge Zheng in Korean dramas, so I shouldn't try my best to stop it. When you compare me with him, I shouldn't protest, because Ge Zheng Jr. didn't protest.

4. Saturday's wedding, I said I have a meeting, and I don't know if I can go. You have prepared two red envelopes, one is 100 and the other is 200. As a result, I didn't go, and you accidentally sent a thick one. Honey, I shouldn't laugh at you. You are doing very well. If I were you, I might send them both together.

Last time you bought yellow croaker, I shouldn't pretend to be a chef. As a result, you cheered when you helped to cook, drooled when you smelled it, and depressed when you ate it, which was unbearable for your fragile mind.

6. Do you cut your hair short and ask me if it looks good? I said it looked good and you were happy. Further verification, I said OK; If you say hello, my answer is not as good as before, which makes you sad. This is my fault. In the future, such replies will be subject to the first time.

7. You met many excellent friends online. Once Hongyan passed books and photos were flying all over the sky. I shouldn't have attacked you with newspaper reports. But the picture of you in a white skirt really doesn't look good. You'd better wear the one with the high collar. I'm the bodyguard next to you, and I look awesome.

When you visit your nephew, come back and discuss with me who should wash diapers. I really shouldn't pass the buck and make you angry. But honey, this task is too far away. Let's discuss who will be responsible for fertility. Who was born in their family?

9. When you accused me of leaving my socks lying around, I shouldn't accuse you of leaving books lying around. After all, socks stink and are scholarly.

10. When you invited Cher to McDonald's, I shouldn't have secretly kicked her under the table to make you furious, but she stepped on so many shoes of mine, why didn't you care?

1 1. When you say that I am not as beautiful as you, I shouldn't stubbornly deny it. You're right, the evidence is conclusive, and the blind can testify.

12. I came back from taking out the garbage downstairs. You walked around me several times and asked me how many cigarettes I smoked. You were angry when I said one. Honey, I didn't know your nose was so sensitive. Actually, I smoked two.

You have always been an understanding girl. I hope you can forgive me and give me a chance to turn over a new leaf. For the sake of family stability and economic prosperity, by the way, a few small suggestions:

1. Don't point to the handsome guy on TV and say that he looks like your ex-boyfriend. The first time you approached a man at close range was at the sophomore dance, and you stepped on someone's foot in a panic. Unfortunately, it was me.

When shopping, don't always have whimsy, such as buying a shredder to make garlic paste. Don't you think my machine is more economical?

When eating, you always think I eat less, but when taking pictures, you think I am fat. Honey, this is really embarrassing for me.

Don't give me some tricky questions, saying it's a brain teaser and confusing my logic.

Don't tell me jokes or laugh when I watch a gunfight movie.

Please ask your wife about the above. Friendly reminder: There were spiders in the dormitory yesterday. If you need an escort, please contact the combined sofa in the west leisure area of the living room 1 to serve you wholeheartedly. Love your husband!