Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - Outlaws of the Marsh (in vernacular)

Outlaws of the Marsh (in vernacular)

1 Water Margin Second Edition Mandarin

The second time, Wang took Nine Dragons to Shijia Village in Yan 'an.

During the reign of Song Zhezong, it was far from the reign of Song Renzong. In the Song Dynasty, there was a man in Kaifeng, the capital of Tokyo (place name, Kaifeng, Henan), who was a loafer (doing nothing to help people make a living) and penniless (a rogue with a rich family). His surname is Gao, ranking second. He was indifferent to the family business since he was a child, and only liked to play with guns and sticks. His specialty is playing well. In order to read fluently and because he is good at playing football, people in Tokyo don't call him a sophomore, but call him a golf ball. Somehow, he changed his name to Gao Qiu.

This man plays the piano, sings and dances, spears and sticks, wrestles hard, and learns some poems and songs at random; When it comes to benevolence, righteousness, courtesy, wisdom, faith and loyalty, he doesn't. He only helps in the city and outside Tokyo, ie makes a living by pleasing the rich. Because I often borrow money from one of Mr. Wang's sons, I go to Sanwa Liangshe (tile house, playground, brothel, teahouse, pub, casino, etc. ) every day. Mr. sued Kaifengfu for a piece of paper, hit Gao Qiu twenty times, and Gao Qiu was sent out of bounds for distribution. People in Tokyo do not allow him to stay at home. Gao Qiu, helpless, came to Huaizhou (Sixian County, Anhui Province), west of Huaihe River, and went to Liu Shiquan, an idle man who opened a casino. Liu Shiquan was a guest all his life. He kept some idle people in his home and recruited some filthy people. Gao Qiu took refuge in Liu's family and lived there for three years. Later, Emperor Zhezong's worship of the southern suburbs (the emperor's great sacrifice to heaven) deeply touched him, and he relaxed his grace and granted amnesty to the world. Gao Qiu, who is in Linhuaizhou, excused himself and is considering going back to Tokyo.

Liu Shiquan is related to Dong Jiangshi (the lowest civilian in the Song Dynasty), who runs a pharmacy under Jinliang Bridge in Tokyo. They wrote a letter, packed some travelling expenses and gave Gao Qiu to Dong Jiangshi's family in Tokyo.

At that time, Gao Qiu bid farewell to Liu Shiquan, packed his bags, left Huaixi, walked a long winding mountain road, returned to Tokyo, and went straight to Dong Jiangshi's home to give him this letter.

When General Dong met Gao Qiu, he read Liu Shiquan's letter and thought, "My family is in Gao Qiu. How can I live with him? If he is a sincere and upright person, he can be allowed to go in and out at home, and he can also teach his children to study better; If he is a person who helps others settle down and does not speak good faith, and he has committed a crime from the beginning, the old man he sent will not change. Leaving him at home will make the children learn badly. "

Dong Jiangshi didn't take him in, just because he didn't give Liu a comprehensive child, so he had to stay at home happily for a while and eat and drink every day.

After more than ten days, Dong Jiangshi came up with an idea, took out a suit, wrote a letter of recommendation, and said to Gao Qiu, "My firefly lamp is not very bright, so I'm afraid I will delay you in the future. I recommend you to go to Xiao Su (Su Shi) as a bachelor, and you will get a background in the future. What do you think? "

Gao Qiu was very happy and thanked General Dong.

Dong Jiangshi got a letter of recommendation and led Gao Qiu to the bachelor's office.

The janitor reported to Bachelor Xiao Su: Gao Qiu is coming.

Xiao Su came out to see Gao Qiu and read the recommendation. Knowing that Gao Qiu used to be a prodigal son, he thought, "How can I let him come here? It's better to be a personal favor and send him to Jinqing House (where Ma Xu lives) to be a bosom friend. People call him' Xiao Wang is too Wei', and he is very happy with such people. "

At that time, Master Xiao Su gave a letter of recommendation to Dong Jiangshi and let Gao Qiu stay at home for one night.

The next day, Xiao Su, a bachelor, wrote a letter of recommendation, asking several small collectors to give Gao Qiu to Qiu Xiao Wang.

Xiaowangdu Taiwei is the brother-in-law of Zhezong and the son-in-law of Zongshen (the title of son-in-law of the ancient emperor of China).

Xiao Wang loves romantic figures, and Gao Qiu is such a person. I was glad to see Xiao Su's messenger send Gao and visit Gao Qiu, so I took him as a personal escort.

Author: Li Zhonghui1998 2009-1-kloc-0/219: 41Reply to this statement.

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2 The Second Vernacular Version of Water Margin

From then on, Gao Qiu was like a family in Wangfu.

The ancients said: "The sky is far away and the day is thin, and the sky is thin recently."

One day, on his birthday, Xiao Wang ordered the court to arrange a banquet and invited his brother-in-law to serve the king.

Duan Wang, the eleventh son of Zongshen and the royal brother of Zhezong, is now the prince of the East Palace, ranking ninth, and is a smart and handsome figure.

On this day, a feast was prepared in Wang's mansion, from swimming in the water to running on the ground.

Qiu asked Duan Wang to sit in the middle, and Qiu sat opposite Duan Wang to accompany him.

After drinking a few glasses of wine and serving dishes twice, Wang went to wash his hands and stopped at the academy occasionally. Suddenly, he saw a pair of paperweight jade lions on the desk (used to hold down the paper when writing), which were very well made and exquisite.

Duan Wang picked up the lion, held it in his hand for a long time, looked at it once and said, "Good!"

When the king saw that Duan Wang liked it, he said, "I still have a jade dragon pen, which was made by this craftsman. Now I don't have it at hand. You can pick it up tomorrow and send it with me. "

Duan Wang was overjoyed and said, "Thank you very much. That pen is definitely better. " Wang Dewey said, "Take it out tomorrow and send it to your palace."

Duan Wang thanked again.

The two men returned to their seats.

Everyone drank until the evening and finally got drunk.

Duan Wangdao, goodbye, back to the palace.

The next day, Wang took out the jade dragon pen and two paperweight jade lions, packed them with small targets, wrapped them in yellow bags, and wrote a book for Gao Qiu to send.

Gao Qiu went straight to the palace with two jade toys and a book.

Report the door officer to the court public.

Not long after, the court official (head) came out and asked, "Which government are you from?"

After the ceremony, Gao Qiu replied, "I am from the Wang family, and I specially sent jade toys to visit the king."

The duke said, "Your Highness is playing football with some people in the middle of the yard. You can go by yourself."

Gao Qiu said, "Please take me in."

Court officials took Gao Qiu to the court door.

Gao Qiu saw Duan Wang wearing a soft gauze scarf (hat made of gauze), purple embroidered robes and a pair of embroidered robes with double tassels around his waist. Before he lifted his robe, he tied it on the edge of it and wore a pair of flying phoenix boots embedded with gold thread. Three or four people play football together.

Gao Qiu didn't dare to bump into it, so he stood behind the crowd and waited for him.

Maybe Gao Qiu is lucky. The balloon went up, but the king stumbled straight to Gao Qiu.

Gao Qiu saw the balloon coming, it was just a moment of courage. He made a "mandarin duck turn around" and kicked it to Duan Wang.

Duan Wang Daxi asked, "Who are you?"

Gao Qiu made a gift to Duan Wang with his hands folded (a kind of etiquette, his hands folded chest high, and then made a big bow), and said, "The younger one accompanied Wang Dewey, and on the orders of his master, he sent two jade toys to Wang. Here are books. "

Duan Wang listened and smiled: "Is brother-in-law really in such a hurry?"

Gao Qiu took out the book and presented it.

Duan Wang opened the box and looked at the game machine, handed it to the hall waiting officer and asked him to take it back.

Duan Wangxian ignored jade toys and asked Gao Qiu first, "Did you play football before? What's your name? "

Gao Qiu knelt down again and said, "The youngest is Gao Qiu, who kicked a few feet at random."

Duan Wangdao: "OK, come and play."

Gao Qiu kowtowed: "What a young man, dare to play football with you!"

Duan Wang said: "This is Yun Qi Club (the name of a club), and it is called' The world is round'. What happened to the kick? "

Gao Qiu kowtowed again and said, "How dare you?"

He refused to come and go several times in a row, but Duan Wang still wanted him to play once. Gao Qiu had to kowtow and apologize, stood up and walked onto the stage.

Author: Li Zhonghui1998 2009-1-kloc-0/219: 41Reply to this statement.

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3 "Water Margin" Second Vernacular Edition

After only a few feet, Duan Wang cheered loudly. Gao Qiu had to try his best to flatter Duan Wang, and he played golf very well. Wang Daxi, don't let Gao Qiu go back to the office. The next day, Duan arranged a banquet for Wang An.

Wang Duwei didn't see Gao Qiu come back last night, and he was wondering. The next day, he said, "The Nine Kings sent an order to invite Qiu to the palace for dinner."

A Wang came out, and several people were outside the door. They took out a decree, the king read it, and soon got on the horse. Before and after the king came to Jiugong, he got off his horse and went to the palace to see Duan Wang.

Duan Wang Daxi thanked two jade toys. At the banquet, Duan Wang said, "This Gao Qiu plays both feet well. I want this person to be my personal partner. How about it? "

Wang Dao: "Since your Highness wants to employ people, I will stay in the palace to serve your Highness."

I had a drink with Taishi Wang to show my gratitude.

The two chatted again until the banquet ended in the evening. Chunyu Wang himself returned to the Xu family.

Since Duan Wang kept Gao Qiu company, he let Gao Qiu stay in the palace for dinner.

From then on, Gao Qiu was with Duan Wang every day, never leaving.

Less than two months later, Zhezong ascended the throne, but there was no prince, so he consulted with the officials of Wenwu and made the king the son of heaven and Huizong the emperor.

Later, Zhezong died and Duan Wang became emperor. From then on, he had nothing to do. One day, I said to Gao Qiu, "I want to compliment you, but you need credit to get promoted. First of all, please ask the Privy Council to add you to the list and be my follower. "

Not half a year's time, Gao Qiu was flattered to Dianshuaifu (Dianshuaifu is equivalent to the current General Office of the Central Military Commission).

When Gao Qiu became Qiu, he chose an auspicious day to take office in the palace.

All the officials, generals, officers, military inspectors and "Ma bu" or horse stance just look under Gao Taiwei's jurisdiction came to pay homage, brought their notebooks and presented books, and cleared Gao Qiu's name one by one.

Gao Dianshuai only passed a little, except for an 800,000-yuan coach, Wang Jin. Half a month ago, Wang Jin fell ill, but he didn't recover from the illness. He has neglected the yamen recently.

Gao Dianshuai was furious and shouted, "Nonsense! Since there is calligraphy, it must be that fellow (an ancient disparaging term for people below himself) who rebelled against the government and prevaricated the official! This person must be looking for an excuse to say that he is sick at home! Grab it for me! "

Immediately, someone was sent to Wang Jingu to arrest Wang Jin.

This Wang Jin has no wife; Only an old mother in her sixties.

Wang Jin, the team leader and coach, said: "Now Gao Dianshuai is new here. I found that you are not here. I know that you are sick at home and Gao Dianshuai is very anxious. If you refuse to believe me, I will arrest you and say that the coach is cheating and sick. The coach is going on a trip. If he doesn't go, he will bring trouble to the villain. "

Hearing this, the Wang Jin had to come in spite of illness. When I entered the palace, I met Qiu, made four obeisances, and stood down.

Gao Qiu said, "Is this man the son of Wang Sheng, the coach of Du Jun?"

Wang Jin replied: "The villain is."

Gao Qiu shouted, "this fellow! Your grandfather plays with sticks and sells medicine in the street! What martial arts do you have? The former official has no eyes and wants you to be a coach. How dare you look down on me? Don't look down on me! Who do you trust to push sick music at home? "

Wang Jin said, "How dare the little people do this? In fact, he is still sick. "

Gao Taiwei scolded 1, "liar! How did you come when you were sick? "

He also told me, "Qiu told me not to come."

Gao Dianshuai was furious and shouted, "Take it from left to right! Hit me hard! "

Many soldiers and Wang Jin are good friends, so they have to say to Gao Taiwei, "Today is a good day for Taiwei to take office. Let's avoid this man this time."

Gao Taiwei shouted, "You thieves! Forgive you today in front of the generals! I will deal with you tomorrow! "

Wang Jin thanked the sin, stood up and looked up. It was Gao Qiu. Out of the yamen, he sighed and said, "This time, my life is in danger! What Gao Dianshuai? It turned out to be a sophomore in Tokyo! He used to learn to stick a gun, but he was knocked over by my dad's stick and stayed in bed for three or four months. With this hatred, he is lucky today. When he becomes the palace master, he just wants revenge. Unexpectedly, I am in his charge! Since ancient times, there has been a saying that' if you are not afraid of officials, you are afraid of management'. How can I argue with him? What should I do in this life? " He came home depressed and told his mother that he knew about it.

Author: Li Zhonghui1998 2009-1-kloc-0/219: 41Reply to this statement.

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4 The Second Vernacular Version of Water Margin

Mother and son cried with their heads in their arms.

Mother said, "Son,' Thirty-six strategies, walking is the best policy'." I'm afraid there is nowhere to go! "

Wang Jin said, "Mom is right. The son thought, it's the same. Only the descendants of Yan 'an Prefecture (Yan 'an City, Shaanxi Province, a frontier commander who resisted foreign aggression), many of his officers have been to Beijing, and his son likes to play with guns and sticks. Why not run away and join them? I am needed there, and I can settle down there. "

Mother and son immediately discussed countermeasures.

Mother added, "Son, I want to go with you in private. I'm afraid the two armies in front of the door were sent by the palace master to wait on you. If he knows, I'm afraid he can't leave! "

Wang Jin said, "Don't worry, mom, my son has his own way to deal with them."

That night, it was still dark.

Wang Jinxian called Zhang Pai in and said, "Have some dinner first. I want you to go somewhere to do something."

Zhang asked, "Where does the coach tell the villain to go?"

Wang Jin said: "I was sick a few days ago, so I made a sweet wish in the temple outside Ziziphus jujuba Gate." I will burn incense tomorrow morning (that is, make a wish to the Buddha when I pray). Going to the temple to burn incense early in the morning is the most sincere expression of the Buddha. Head fragrance, first wick fragrance). Can you tell the manager of the temple to burn incense tonight, and ask him to open the temple gate early that day, so that I can burn my head incense and give three sacrifices (three sacrifices of cattle, sheep and pigs) to the folk Buddha Li? You rest in the temple until I come back. "

Zhang Pai agreed, ate dinner first and went to the temple.

That night, mother and son packed their luggage, clothes and money and carried them on a pole. Two more bags were packed and tied to the horse.

At the fifth watch, before dawn, Wang Jin called Li Pai and said, "Help me take this money to the temple, buy three animals with Zhang Pai and cook them, and wait there. I'll buy some paper candles and come back later. "

Li Pai took the money and went to the temple.

Wang Jin prepared his horse, put the luggage on it, tied the horse firmly, led it outside the back door and helped his mother get on the horse? #65308; According to mu? Avoid it? Play? Hey, Zhu Ang?

Wang Jin picked up the burden and followed the horse. Before dawn, he took the opportunity to leave Xihuamen and went to Yan 'an Mansion. Li Pai bought a blessing and cooked it. He waited for another card in the temple, but he didn't come.

Li Pai was very worried. When he returned to Wang Jin's house to look for him, he found that the door was locked and there was nothing he could do. He searched for a long time, but no one was there.

It's getting late, and Zhang Pai in the temple became suspicious. He kept running back to Wang Jin's home and searched for another night with Li Pai.

It was dark, and when they saw that he didn't come home that night, they disappeared from his mother. The next day, two Ka Jun went to his relatives' house again, but they couldn't find it.

They were afraid of getting themselves into trouble, so they had to enter the palace and say, "Teacher Wang abandoned his home and fled. Mother and son don't know where to go. "

Hearing this, Gao Taiwei was furious and said, "The thief army is at large. Look where that guy went! " Immediately put down the file and ordered the state governments to arrest the deserter Wang Jin.

As soon as these two men told Gao Taiwei, of course they were exempted.

Wang and his mother left Tokyo, so they were hungry and thirsty and stayed in Xiaoxing at night.

Walking for more than a month, one day, it was getting late. Wang Jin followed his mother's horse and said to her mother, "God have mercy on us! Fortunately, my mother and son escaped this robbery! Not far from Yan 'an Mansion, I can't catch Gao Taiwei if he wants to send someone to arrest me! "

Mother and son were so happy that they missed the accommodation time on the road. "Go this night, haven't met a village, where to stay? ..... "At this moment, I saw lights flashing in the distant Woods.

Wang Jin looked at it and said, "All right! Go there for the night and leave tomorrow morning. "

Walking into the Woods, I saw a big yard (formerly a big yard of nobles), surrounded by earth walls, but there were two or three hundred big willows outside the walls.

Before Wang came to the villa, he knocked on the door for a long time before he saw a guest coming out of the villa.

Author: Li Zhonghui1998 2009-1-kloc-0/219: 41Reply to this statement.

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5 "Water Margin" Second Vernacular Edition

Wang Jin laid down his burden and saluted him.

"What did you come to my villa for?" asked the guest.

Wang Jin said, "To tell you the truth, our mother and son walked a little too much, missed the hotel and came here. I want to spend the night in your villa in the middle of nowhere. Pay the house payment as usual when you leave tomorrow morning. I hope it is comprehensive and convenient!

The guest replied, "in this case, please wait a moment." I'll ask his lordship. Why not wait? "

Wang Jin added: "Brother, please wait a moment."

Zhuang Ke stayed in it for a long time before he came out and said, "Father Zhuang asked you two to come in."

Wang Jin asked his mother to dismount.

Wang Jin picked the burden, led the horse, followed the guests to the threshing floor inside, put down the burden and tied the horse to the willow tree.

Mother and son went to the thatched cottage to meet Taigong.

The squire is nearly sixty years old, with white hair and beard, a hat, a robe, a silk belt around his waist and leather boots.

When Wang Jin saw the squire, he bowed.

Taigong quickly said, "My guest, don't worship. You are the people on the road. Thank you for your hard work. Please sit down. "

Wang Jin's son and mother said something out of courtesy, and then sat down.

Taigong asked, "Where are you from? Why did you come to me so late? "

Answer: "A certain surname is Zhang, who is from the capital. As I had no money, I went to Yan 'an to visit relatives. I didn't expect to walk too much today, miss the hotel and want to spend the night in your villa. If you leave tomorrow morning, you still have to pay the house payment. "

Too fair: "It doesn't matter. Zhuangke arranges meals! "

Soon, several tables were placed in the dining room.

Zhuangke took out a bucket of plates, four dishes and a plate of beef and put them on the table. First, he took out the wine and poured it into everyone's cups.

Taigong said, "Don't be surprised that there is nothing to entertain you in the village."

Wang Jin stood up and thanked him, "I have no reason to bother you. How can I repay your kindness? "

Too fair: "Don't say that. Come, have a drink. "

Taigong made Wang Jin drink six or seven glasses of wine. The food was served, and the two of them cleaned up the dishes while eating. The squire got up and took Wang Jin and his mother to the guest room to have a rest.

Wang Jin said, "Please give it grass to eat, and I will still give you grass money."

TaiGongPing: "This might as well. My family also has a mule and a horse. Tell Zhuangke to take it out and feed it together. "

Wang Jin thanked him and went to the guest room with his luggage.

Zhuangke lit a lamp and brought water to wash Wang Jin's feet.

Wang Jin and his mother thanked the guests, closed the door and sat down.

Taigong himself went back inside.

The next day, Wang Jin and his mother slept until dawn. They didn't get up.

Grandpa Zhuang came to the guest room and heard his mother moaning in the room.

Taigong asked, "My guest, it's almost dawn, why don't you get up?"

Hearing this, Wang Jin hurried out of the room, saw Taigong, saluted and said, "Little people get up too late. I'm sorry to disturb you last night. "

Taigong asked, "Who's calling?"

Wang Jin said: "To tell the truth, my mother was tired from riding, and her heart ached last night."

Too fair: "so. Guests need not worry. Let your mother stay in my villa for a few days first. I have a prescription for heartache. I asked Zhuangke to go to the county to buy medicine for your old mother. Tell him to rest assured and recuperate slowly. "

Wang Jin thanked Taigong.

From then on, Wang Jin and his mother took medicine in Taigongzhuang.

After living for five or six days, Wang Jin felt that his mother had recovered, so he packed his bags and left.

Author: Li Zhonghui1998 2009-1-kloc-0/219: 41Reply to this statement.

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6 "Water Margin" Second Vernacular Edition

That day, Wang came in to see the horses. I saw a young man, about eighteen or nineteen years old, playing there with a stick, shirtless and stabbing a dragon.

After reading for a long time, Wang Jin couldn't help saying, "You are good at playing with sticks, but you have some shortcomings. You can't win a hero. "

The young man was furious and shouted, "Who are you to laugh at me? I have visited seven or eight famous teachers. I don't believe it. I am not as good as you! You dare to compare with me? "

Before he finished, Taigong shouted to the young man, "Don't be rude!"

The young man said, "I can't stand this guy laughing at my great method!" " "

Taigong asked, "Can guests use guns and sticks?"

Wang Jin said, "I know a lot. Dare to ask the predecessors, who is this descendant of your family? "

Too fair: "It's my son."

Wang Jin said: "Since you are a small official at home, he likes to play with guns and sticks. What should someone teach him?"

Taigong said, "He will definitely learn from you." Call the young man: "Come and learn from the teacher."

The young man refused to worship and became more and more angry. He said, "Dad, don't listen to this guy! If he beats me, I will worship him as a teacher! "

Wang Jin said, "If you are smart, don't compare with me."

The young man threw a stick into the air, picked it up from the air and turned it like a windmill. He said to Wang Jin, "Come on! You come! I am afraid that you are not a hero! "

Wang Jin just smiled and refused to start work.

Too fair: "Sir, since you are willing to teach me this naughty son, will you try?"

Wang Jin said with a smile, "I'm afraid of hitting your son, so it won't look good."

Taigong said, "Never mind. If he breaks his hands and feet, it's his own fault. "

Wang Jin said, "Angry at my rudeness." I went to the gun rack with a stick in my hand. I came to the clearing and posed.

The young man saw it, picked up a stick and rushed to Wang Jin. Wang Jin dragged his cane to the ground. The young man swung his stick and ran away again. Wang Jin turned around and cut the stick into the clearing. The young man saw the stick coming and blocked it with a stick.

Wang Jin didn't photograph it, but just swept the epigenetic stick with a stick, and the epigenetic stick was also swept. The epigenetic stick is thrown aside, and the epigenetic falls backwards.

Wang Jin quickly put down his stick, stepped forward to help him and said, "Don't blame me, don't blame me."

The young man stood up, stepped aside and took a stool for Wang Jin to sit on. He bowed down and said, "It's no use worshipping too many teachers. It turned out to be useless! Master, I have no choice but to beg you! "

Wang Jin said, "My mother and son have been bothering your house for days, and I can't repay you. Of course I will help you with this. "

Grandfather was overjoyed. He told the young people to get dressed and sit down together in the back hall. He told Zhuangke that he had killed a sheep, arranged wine, food and fruit, and invited Wang Jin and his mother to the party.

They are all here. Let's go in and have a look.

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