Give a few flattering and funny words?

You were born in an ordinary family with healthy parents, grandparents and several uncles and aunts.

It is said that when you were born, a piece of auspicious cloud appeared in the northern sky, which gradually drifted from far and near to the roof of your house and became a word: handsome.

After seeing you, dad cried at the top of his voice for a month and a half. When he was killed, he didn't believe that you were his chromosomal child. He took a kitchen knife and rushed to your mother's bed several times, waving it to cut you into pieces. Your mother used her death to protect you and let you live.

Grandpa has been suffering from glaucoma for more than ten years, and he can't tell whether it's a man or a dog from a meter away. But when you appeared in front of him, the old man's eyes were full of tears, and he never saw the light of day, saying that he didn't want to see anyone again, so as to avoid endless future troubles.

Later, in order to prove her innocence, your mother dragged your father to the hospital for paternity test. The doctor lifted the quilt, only looked at it and cried. He wiped his nose and said, go home. This is not your son, nobody. Humans can't give birth to such a handsome child. ..

An intern nurse passed by and saw that you were still a baby. She immediately found a box of red inkpad, printed your fingerprints, spread her hair out at once, and muttered to you: Long hair is for you. If I don't marry you in my life, my long hair will not decrease. I will tidy up the ancient Buddha and tidy up my boudoir. ..

Your mother hurried out and trotted all the way, accidentally meeting an old lady waiting to have a baby in the obstetrics and gynecology department next door. The old lady grabbed her mother and said kindly, son, what's the hurry? What is the hard part? Don't hit the child. ..

Mother was upset by her, so she pulled the quilt away. As soon as the old lady saw you, she immediately caught up with her nervousness. She fell to the ground in tears, shaking her head and screaming: I was born 50 years ago! ! Your mother flashed back. ..

/kloc-when you were 0/5 years old, you were afraid to go to school, not that you wouldn't go. You were afraid to go to kindergarten for a long time. The children in the park are crazy, and your face is swollen into a watermelon by the little girl's kiss. The aunts beat the children, if nothing else, because they were born in the same year as you, and the military and police went out.

There are people fishing in front of your house all the year round, and they never come back empty-handed. The most interesting thing is that your home is 0/00 km away from the sea/kloc-,but they often catch tuna in the small stinking ditch in front of the door and look for turtle eggs behind the haystack. Later, after investigation, it turns out that there are countless women crying at your door all the year round. The tears are rich in amino acids and protein, which is very suitable for tuna survival and turtle spawning. Over the years, those women's tears have gathered into a small beach.