Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - Can't let him do the skit lines full version

Can't let him do the skit lines full version

Cross talk drama "Can't Let Him Go" Directed by Erqun Author: Cui Yanjun, Feng Gong, Wang Zhenhua, Li Yifang, Qingping, Zou Seng Starring: Feng Gong (Lei Ren) Yang Song (Old Man) Yan Xuejing (Nurse) Shao Feng (Old Man's Son) Han Xue (a girl who posts online) Feng: Dear leaders, friends, guests, ladies and fellow villagers, I miss you so much! I was so lucky today. I bumped into an old man as soon as I drove out, no! I bumped into an old man and was hit by a car. The kid who caused the accident escaped! What should I do? (Singing) I roar when I see injustice on the road! Take action when it's time to take action! Save the old man! hey-hey! Save the old man! hey-hey! Save the old man! Yang: (singing) Oh my! Alas, hey, hey! Hahahahahaha! Ouch~ (It hurts) Feng: This old man is in so much pain that he can’t sing out of tune! This is the wheelchair version of Zhu Jianqiang! Yang: Uncle! Feng: I still have my father! Yang: Uncle Lei Feng! You can't leave! Feng: Don’t worry! I will never leave! I must carry Lei Feng to the end! (To the audience) Do I really look like Lei Feng? Audience: Like! Feng: Thank you! Audience: Like a detonator! Like a detonator! Feng: Like what? Like a detonator! It’s been discussed! That old comrade saw so accurately that I was really a detonator! I take care of everything Lei Feng takes care of! I must learn from Lei Feng and be a good son of the people! Yan: Son! Feng: Hey! Yan: Me! Is there anyone like you? Leave your biological father alone here chatting! It’s such a big cock with a long tail, and he forgets his mother after marrying his daughter-in-law! The big rooster's tail sticks out, he married a wife and forgot about his father! The big rooster has a thick tail, he married his wife and forgot about his aunt! The big rooster's tail is even, and he married his wife and forgot about his aunt! Feng: The big rooster's tail is trembling. When you marry a wife, you forget about the dog! Do you think that is my biological father? Yan: The one she adopted deserves more respect! Feng: No... Yan: What haven't I seen as a nurse? You can't forget your roots! Is there no heaven or earth? How can there be a home without land? Where would he be without a home? Where would you be without him? Where would I be without you? Without me... Feng: No, no, no, no! Don’t say this when you go out! Yan: Anyway, if you receive a drop of kindness from someone, you should repay it with a spring of water! The crow feeds back, the lamb kneels to breastfeed, and when drinking water, it misses its source. I live at the head of the Yangtze River, and you live at the end of the Yangtze River. I miss you every day, but you never see me, and we drink from the same river together! Feng: We are a couple! This one! He's a good person, but he's a bit arrogant. Yan: That’s called two hundred and five! Feng: That’s not enough! You have to add 38 to 250... Yan: Two! Feng: That's enough! I am not his son! Yan: Are you his uncle? Feng: Are you his girl? Yan: Are we a couple? Feng: They don’t look matching either! Yan: Yes, look at your appearance, you are so arbitrary! Feng: Yes! ...That's...it's not as good as you being so good and doing whatever you want! Just this appearance is too bad! I'm telling you! I don't know him! Yan: Oh! Hit someone! Feng: I am here to save people! Yan: Oops! How can you save someone without hitting them? Feng: Why do I have to hit someone to save them? Yan: You are the one who hits first and saves later! Feng: Nonsense! I save the person first and hit the person later! wrong! Old man! Old man! (Singing) I roar when I see injustice on the road! Take action when it's time to take action! Save the old man! hey-hey! Save the old man! Ouch! Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, he was singing duet with me just now! Yan: How old are you and still singing this angry youth song? Sing something about a better life! Feng: (Singing) This is a beautiful and lovely mountain village. The cows run around and are full of laissez-faire. Oh, hey, hey, hey, hey! Yo, oh, oh, oh! Hey, hey... Yan: (interruption) Stop singing! This old Chinese man, what are you talking about with a foreign cow? Singing a Good Life Feng: (Singing) When you are alone, you are a Leo.

Yan: It’s a sheep’s cry again! Can't you make a human voice? Sing something about the village and take medicine. I also take Chinese medicine! Feng: (Singing) There is a girl named Xiaofang in the village! Yang: (waking up) Where are you? Feng: Here... Chinese medicine is still effective. Master, do you still recognize me? Yang: Hey, we can’t let him go! He... (dizzy) Feng: Why is he dizzy at this time? Yan: Oh, old man! It's not you who's angry! The old man has said it! You can't leave! Feng: Why should I leave? I even paid a deposit of 5,000 yuan for him! Shao: Oops! (Singing) My old father, the person I love the most! Dad (fall)! Dad (falls)! Feng: Don't shout at me! I just bought the stock yesterday! I've hit the limit right now! Shao: You're the one who hits people! Feng: I am here to save people! Shao: How could you save someone without hitting them? Feng: Why do I have to hit someone to save them? Shao: You are the one who hits first and saves later! Feng: Nonsense! The person I saved first hit him later... I didn't hit anyone! Shao: Just because you saved someone, it proves that you hit someone! Feng: Just because I hit someone, it proves that I didn’t save them! Shao: Yeah! (Nodding) Feng: No! Why is the old man here if he can't save anyone? Ouch! Old man! Old man! Old man! You need to wake up! Old man! Hey~ (singing) There is a girl named Xiaofang in the village! Where is it? He just woke up! Shao: Will my dad wake up if you keep singing a song? They are all resistant to antibiotics! Stop singing Fangfang! You sing well! My dad is a football fan! Feng: GO!GO!GO! Leah, oh, oh, oh! Master, we are going to win! The opponent has already sent off two players! Yang: (waking up) Three people will be sent off! We can't win either! You can't stop us from kicking a fake ball into our own goal! Feng: That’s right! There are four of them, Yu Zecheng, lurking in our team! Oh no! Old man! We won! In the East Asian semi-finals, the men's football team defeated the South Korean team 3-0! Yang: That’s true! Feng: Really Yang: The opponent is not a women’s team, right? Feng: Men's team Shao: Men Yang: Thirty-two years! What were you doing earlier? Feng: It’s okay, old man! We *** all wish that our Chinese football can get out of the predicament and move towards the bright future! Old man! Yang: Hey, we can’t let him go! He... (fainted) Feng: Why did he faint as soon as he got here? Shao: You didn’t hit me! My dad said it! You can't leave! Feng: He also thought it was me who hit him! I see! I was unlucky to talk here. No matter who asked me for a while, I would just say the opposite, "Did you hit someone?" I told you that I was there to save people, but you were there to hit them? I save people! Did you hit someone? I save people! Han: You rescued people? Feng: I hit someone! You... didn't play your cards according to the rules, and I didn't hit anyone! I'm just a soy sauce person.

Han: It doesn’t matter even if you got hit. I won’t tell anyone. I’ll post it directly on the Internet. I’ll write an article tomorrow with the title “A Pleasant Goat in Big Gray Wolf Skin” (Memory of a True Hero Who Was Misunderstood) Feng: That’s right, a tailor who doesn’t want to be a cook is definitely not a good driver! Han: The next day I wrote another article titled "A Big Big Wolf in Pleasant Goat's Clothing" (the real hero turned out to be the perpetrator), and the third day I wrote another article titled "Is he dressed in sheep's clothing?" "A wolf or a sheep in wolf's clothing" (you decide on his fur) Feng: Child! Go now! Your mother is calling you home for dinner! Still frying! I made you miserable last time! That time there was a fire in the Internet cafe downstairs. I saw a buddy struggling in the thick smoke. I rushed in regardless of my own safety and dragged him, but he refused to follow me! I was so angry that I beat him up and carried him out! As soon as I came out, the policeman Pian'er became anxious with me. The fire brigade managed to rush in. Why did you carry him out? Han: You brought the fire brigade out! Feng: The next day, everyone on the Internet said that I started the fire! Since then, no one has ever considered me a good person! That time in our office, Lao Zhang lost 500 yuan and he didn't dare to go home. I felt soft and gave him 500 yuan. What do you think he said? If you can take the initiative to hand over the money, it shows that you still have a moral bottom line! This matter spread... to my wife and her work, and they took turns urging her to leave him quickly! It's better to strike first. If he dares to steal money today, he will dare to steal people tomorrow. This is all a one-stop operation! From then on when I came home, my wife never let me go to bed. I slept on the carpet every day. From then on, my son no longer cared about calling me daddy! When we meet, call me Einstein! Old man! (Singing) We common people! Shao: Hey! Feng: I’m so happy! Shao: Hey! Feng: We common people! Shao: Hey! Feng: Really... (saying) It’s time for the old man to enjoy life! Shao: (Singing) The house is getting bigger and the phone is getting smaller, and life is getting better and better (Feng Gonghe) Shao: (Singing) The holidays are longer and the income is higher, and life is getting better and better (Feng Gonghe) Feng: (Singing) I just hope that The sun sets at Xishan Pass, so you can kiss enough! Yang: (wakes up, stands up) I really want to live another five hundred years! Feng: What the old man is singing is not a song but loneliness! Old man (slightly crying) Do you still know me? Yang: Hey, we can’t let him go! He... (Yang Fengtong fainted) Huh? Why are you dizzy too? Feng: If I don’t get dizzy, you will get dizzy! Yang: We can’t let him go! Yan&Shao: You can’t leave! (Catch) Yang: He... is my savior! (Kneels down) Feng: Old man! You are my savior! (Kneel down) Yan: Get up quickly (help) Shao: What do you mean, get up quickly, get up! (support) Yan: Get up quickly (support) Han: It’s so touching! My article is available! It's called "Nothing to wear!" He is also a Pleasant Goat" (I decide my hero!) Hero! I adore you so much! Feng: Don’t worship me! Brother is just a legend Han: No! I must push you out! Feng: Don’t push me! We live on the 18th floor! Old man! Yang: Hey! Feng: Please take care of yourself! I have to go, my mother told me to go home and steal vegetables! (walking) Shao: Stop! This is your ten thousand yuan! Feng: No! I paid five thousand. Shao: What’s left! It’s my whole family that thanks you! Feng: No, no, no! No need, the old man is waiting for the money to be spent! Spend it together! I...I, I don't care about money! (Turns away in a pretentious manner) I...I really don't care, oh that's right! (Hands out his hand to take the money) Shao: (Take the money back) Dad! He doesn't want it! Yang: You are such a lively Lei Feng! Feng: Old man! How dare I compare with Lei Feng! At best, I am the descendant of Lei Feng. From now on, you can call me Lei Ren! (Leave) Shao: Dad! Who is he? Yang: Who is he? Good guy! Send money! Shao & Yan & Yang & Han: Shocking! (Shao Zhui) ———————————————————————————— PS: The above is completed by hand-copying from the video. It is inevitable that there will be errors. Please pay attention.