Should I choose to give up when I encounter setbacks?

The road of life is tortuous and long, full of contradictions such as success and failure, prosperity and adversity, happiness and misfortune. For example, failure at work, poverty in life, family separation, physical illness and disability, and so on. Nowadays, young people encounter setbacks such as failure in competition, failure in love, family conflicts and so on.

We can't passively endure or avoid setbacks, but should face up to life setbacks, actively seek effective ways to overcome and overcome setbacks, heal wounds and work hard for the successful goal of life. None of the outstanding figures in ancient and modern times, at home and abroad succeeded smoothly. Faced with failure and misfortune, they all chose the road of striving for strength. They fought against the adversity of life one by one, gripped the throat of fate tightly, and became strong in life. Through their own hard work, they finally got the favor of fate. In this regard, they have provided us with many useful inspirations.

The first is that they have a correct view of setbacks. Everything in the world is relative, so are setbacks. It can give people a blow and pain, but also make people forge ahead and mature. "Great achievements have been made since ancient times", and people who have made great contributions to mankind in politics, science, literature and art at all times and all over the world have almost experienced setbacks and failures.

The second is to defeat the "self". Let's look at a little thing about Lenin. Lenin wanted to cross the Finnish border on a dark winter night to lead the revolution. On the way, a glacier crossed in front of him. The ice in the river has begun to melt into a lot of ice floating on the water. Don't hesitate to stop when crossing the river on the ice, or you may fall into the river. Lenin showed no timidity or hesitation. He quickly and decisively stepped on the ice floe and quickly reached the other side. In the face of ice floes, people who cross the river will either go back the same way or cross the river without hesitation like Lenin, but whether you shrink back or cross the river, the glaciers will not change, and people who cross the river will change themselves. It seems that the key to frustration lies in "self". To overcome setbacks, we must first overcome "self".

Third, we should adjust our goals. Setbacks are always associated with goals. Frustration is that one's behavior is blocked and the goal in one's mind has not been realized for the time being. Therefore, when you encounter setbacks, you should re-evaluate whether the goal is too high and whether it meets the subjective and objective conditions. If it is really unrealistic and causes setbacks, it is necessary to readjust the goals to make the established goals conform to the actual level. The two young women in the sketch "There is a tree in front" had a rough life and suffered a series of setbacks such as jumping the queue in the countryside, falling in love, divorce and being laid off, but they repeatedly encouraged each other with the same sentence: "There is no person (thing) worth your tears in the world, and the one who is, won't make you cry." I lived a very happy life in my later years. Explain that people and things that are troubled can only reach the ideal shore by adjusting their mentality, adjusting their goals, overcoming difficulties and moving on.

Fourth, we should be good at getting rid of the troubles caused by setbacks. There is a bad mood of pessimism and disappointment when encountering setbacks. You should take appropriate measures to get rid of bad feelings, and never keep them in your heart. If you have troubles, you can talk to your relatives and friends. If you have conflicts with others, you should solve them in time, eliminate misunderstandings, and consult leaders and comrades when you encounter difficulties in your work. Even healthy hobbies, active sports activities and even shouting in the wild are good ways to eliminate bad emotions.

Fifth, we should regard setbacks as "sedatives". Frustration is a kind of "stimulant", which can stimulate people's enterprising spirit, urge people to struggle to change the situation, temper people's character and will, and enhance people's creative ability and wisdom. At the same time, frustration is also a kind of "sedative", which can calm down hot-headed people, which is especially important for young people. Some young people are self-righteous and always turn a deaf ear to well-meaning criticisms, suggestions and exhortations. Then, we can wait patiently. When he encounters a nail in practice, he will regret that he didn't listen to everyone at first, and maybe he will thank you and pay more attention to your words in the future.

Sixth, we should cultivate good personality and psychological quality. As mentioned above, from the analysis of frustration tolerance, it can be seen that whether you have good personality and psychological quality is particularly important for overcoming setbacks. If the psychological quality is not good, it will produce wrong perceptual judgment to setbacks, thus enhancing the sensitivity to setbacks and reducing the tolerance to setbacks; On the contrary, if a person has good personality and psychological quality, he can meet the challenge of frustration with confidence until he completely overcomes it. As a young man, everyone should be brave enough to plunge into the fiery torrent of life, know "self", improve "self" and form a good mentality and personality. The mentality is mainly to rely on yourself, calm down and think about it, face it calmly, and don't get hot-headed. When encountering setbacks, we should calmly analyze, find out the reasons of setbacks from the aspects of objectivity, subjectivity, goals, environment and conditions, and take effective remedial measures. Be good at turning pressure into motivation. We should always keep a positive and optimistic attitude. We should be able to tolerate setbacks, learn to comfort ourselves, be open-minded, optimistic, work hard and have confidence to win success. When to fall and when to get up, get up and tidy up old clothes. To know that "getting up is always more than falling down", don't be like the person in Wan Rong's joke, knowing that you will fall down for the second time, so you don't need to get up the first time you fall down. Never think that a setback is a bad thing. A blessing in disguise is a blessing in disguise. In Huainanzi Human Training, it is said that an old man living in frontier fortress lost a horse and people came to comfort him. He said, How do you know it's not a blessing? Later, the horse really came back with a good horse Metaphor can turn bad things into good things. Think about the reasons for frustration, even if you don't understand it at once, you will understand it if you think too much. All positive and negative experiences will pay off. On the contrary, if it succeeds, it may be a bad thing, and then you may have nightmares! In short, don't treat setbacks as bad things. Even if it is a bad thing, a bad thing can be turned into a good thing.

In short, if you want to treat setbacks correctly, you must first learn to treat setbacks correctly. You should have the spirit of not crying when you see the coffin. Don't let setbacks control your feelings. You should believe that setbacks are the tempering of life and the only way for you to succeed. Don't avoid setbacks, face them correctly, that is, get up there when you encounter setbacks and look for opportunities for exercise. Believe in your ability and perseverance, which is the best way for you to face setbacks. Don't care about the frustration he brings you, but see clearly the width of your future road. As long as you work hard enough, you will get enough. "Failure" is the mother of success, and "frustration" is the best fruit you reap, from which you can get the experience you want. This is the harvest of setbacks. Overcoming setbacks means that you are on your way to success. Avoid setbacks, which will haunt you all your life and become a heart disease that you can never get rid of. There is nothing fixed in the world; Learn to look at everyone's changes from a dialectical point of view and a developmental perspective. The key is whether you have confidence. The bridge of hope begins with "confidence". You will never be happy without self-confidence. I hope young friends can learn some truth from their own reality, remember and believe that the future is not in our destiny, but in our own hands.

On the road of life, opportunities and challenges coexist, and success and failure are linked. What we should do is treat life well and expect success, but we are not afraid of failure at all. We may not have beautiful scenery, but we can create a beautiful state of mind and strive to pursue it. Then there will be an open field and blue sky in front of us.