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200 points for creative, classic and funny posts!

Some people die heavier than Mount Tai, while others die lighter than a feather. I am heavier than Mount Tai first, and then I will be cremated into a feather!

The night gave me bright eyes, and I gave the night a bright flashlight!

Mobile phones have more and more functions, but they can be used less and less.

A scholar dies as a bosom friend, and a scholar's bosom friend is a general.

Hanging sheep's head to sell dog meat, now hanging sheep's head to buy pork.

What is the use of clothes? Tell you what! Clothes can not only be worn, but also wipe your face, feet, table, floor and things!

A buddy of mine, while cursing' Sun himself', watched the AV film made by' Sun We'!

I saw two great people eating. One of them is eating hard, and the other is eating hard.

The stew in the northeast is messy enough, so I met a cow and asked me to put eggplant, cabbage, pepper and mushrooms.

Stew celery, beans, vegetables, tomatoes and bean sprouts together! There is no meat yet Fuck! This vegetable dog won't eat!

A guest asked me where I was from, and I told him I was from Harbin. He said we were fellow villagers!

I asked him where he was from and he said I was from Shandong! Dizzy! It's too far!

A guest came to my restaurant for dinner and asked me, "How much is the beer? .

I said, "three dollars".

He said, "This is too expensive! There are only two supermarkets! "

I said, "then buy my food and go to the supermarket to drink it!" "

I met a cow who ate the longest. I went to eat at 10 in the morning and ate until 1 1 in the evening.

I crawled on the table and slept for five hours. Shit, treat me like a hotel

I subconsciously wanted to find beauty, but I didn't remember until I went outside. She won't come back until the 28 th of the twelfth lunar month ... then where can I go? Forget it, walking aimlessly on the road.

It began to snow, and crystal snowflakes fell from the sky. I've seen my dad several times since I came back, but he didn't tell me that my mother was married-well, you kept it from me! You kept it from me like a fool! I kicked the pebbles in front of me angrily.

I'm really angry-but a voice is saying, Hua Xiaorong, haven't you always wanted your mother to remarry? Then what are you angry about? But another voice is mocking: Yes, they have been married for two months and didn't tell you. Then what are you? What is this? ! ……

A feeling of desolation gradually emerged from my heart, flooded my eyes and shed two lines of tears. I looked up at the dark sky. Small and sad snowflakes were hovering in the air, as cold as my tears. I sat down on the side of the road. Looking at a string of bright or dark lights upstairs, I can't help feeling sad.

I don't know how long I've been sitting. Snowflakes formed a thick layer on my collar. I can't feel the cold. I seem to have been abandoned by the world again.

There are two figures coming. One of them bent down to look at me and said in surprise, hey, isn't this Xiao Rong? Why don't you sit here and go home?

It turned out to be the steamed bread of the little monkey's brother. And his girlfriend Fang Xiaoling. I stood up and greeted them. I haven't seen you for years, but the melon has grown taller.

Go home! It's cold outside. Steamed bread said, I'll send Xiaoling home!

I shook my head. Glancing at Xiao-ling Fang's slightly swollen belly quickly, she said, congratulations, it's finally a good result.

Little-Fang Ling looked down a little shyly and said, "Not yet. We're not married.

I'm a little surprised. Not yet? On second thought, yes, if you marry a little monkey, don't tell me.

Fang Xiaoling hesitated: Xiao Rong, why don't you want to go back? Really ... because of your mother?

I paused. It's like my mother, who grew up old and grew up young, knew everything after she got married, and my daughter is still in the dark.

Xiao-say, why don't you go to my house first! We haven't seen each other for years. I just want to chat with you!

Steamed bread also agreed. I am looking forward to it. I just need a kiss from Fang Xiaoling. Although I don't like Fang's mother very much, it is much better than blowing cold air outside after all.

Rong, why don't you want to go home? In Fang Xiaoling's bedroom, she asked me.

I didn't answer. How can I put it? It's best to keep silent.

Seeing that I don't talk, Fang Xiaoling added, I probably guessed if you didn't talk. Is it because of your mother's marriage? I heard from the steamed bread that you wrote personals to your mother. Why this time? ...

They didn't tell me anything before. Even my dad didn't remind me. I said gloomily that I felt like an outsider.

Maybe they forgot ... Fang Xiaoling said.

I talk to my mother on the phone every week at school. How could she forget? How did they meet and when did they start to be together? They didn't tell me a word. I haven't heard from my neighbors for almost a year. If I don't go home this time, will my mother keep it from me forever?

Actually ... Xiao-awkward. I kind of understand how you feel.

I wry smile, how can you understand. Forget it, forget it. How are things with you and steamed bread?

Fang Xiaoling's eyes showed a sweet smile when she mentioned steamed bread. She said: We are talking about getting married ... Shantou plans to tell her parents after the Chinese New Year.

You are the only couple among our classmates who persisted to the end ... the others have been scattered for a long time, and everyone may not know where they are. I'm a little sad to say.

So are you and the little monkey. Fang Xiaoling smiled. I'm still in a school, and I'm unlucky.

I ... I can't help blushing and feeling guilty. I don't know whether he likes me or not. I said.

Fools don't like you. You are beautiful and smart, and you are a good match for the little monkey ... Fang Xiaoling said with a smile.

I can't help laughing when I think of the situation on the train. Xiao also smiled and said, Oh, I told you, you and the little monkey are made for each other. It's rare to see each other now. Ask him out one day and we'll get together.

All right. Beauty will be back soon. Ask her to come in then. I said.

Fang Xiaoling and I talked a lot that day. We talked about some interesting things at school, classmates and teachers at school, where they are now and what they are doing, melons that once liked me. He is studying law in a school in Hunan ... and Fang Xiaoling herself ... her mother, the rape lies she made up ... I wanted to make her happy, and the absurd story of steamed bread. ...

We always sigh, really-those things seem to be yesterday, but it seems that many years have passed. The girl who likes the little monkey to buy him walnuts but I stole them is now married early and has just given birth to a fat son. I wonder if they know each other when she walks up to the little monkey now.

My mother never explained why she told me she was married until now, and neither did Uncle Ai. Maybe no one felt the need to explain to me. Uncle Ai lives in another town not far away and has a married son. My mother and I will spend the Spring Festival there this year.

My different father and mother's brother smiled at me politely and strangely, and I smiled back. His wife, a smart-looking woman, looked me up and down with a pair of sharp eyes. They also have a one-year-old child who cries almost immediately. I sit there like a papaya all day. I eat at lunch time and go to bed when it's time. I sat on the sofa and watched his wife change the TV channel every five seconds. I counted it several times, not blind and repetitive. There are 32 channels in a * * *.

On the third day, I finally couldn't stand it. I told my mother that I would go back and wait for Mei. My mother said that the Spring Festival was coming soon, and I said I would come back next year. My mother said the child was not sensible. I said there is still more than a week before the Spring Festival. Are you trying to suffocate me?

My mother couldn't beat me, so I came back by myself. Mother monkey saw me and was surprised to ask, hey, didn't you spend the New Year with your mother? Why did you come back? I gave a quick laugh and didn't answer her.

However, on the 28th of the twelfth lunar month, the beauty failed to return. But this dead woman still has some conscience. Let me go online. As soon as she went to Q, she complained to me that tickets were hard to find and she couldn't come back.

I don't feel good: it's hard for you to know the Chinese New Year ticket, just like an alien. I think you just don't want to come back.

The beauty was silent for a long time, and suddenly she gave a worried expression and sighed, Sister, it is not a pity that we have been together for so many years, or you know me.

I said we look forward to your coming back and getting together. Well, it's ruined again. I'll come back and wait for you. You ruined my year.

The beauty said with a smile, when I come back, I will give you an explanation. Is this always true?

I said, forget it. You haven't been back since I went to school. Where will you go when you come back? Woman, is it so important to earn money? I don't even want to come back for the New Year. That's your home.

Beautiful and dizzy, don't talk about me, you used to be like this.

I sighed and said, don't pull it on me, I'm not like you.

The beauty said that she wanted to repeat after the college entrance examination, but her parents disagreed. They all just want girls to come out early to earn money and get married, but they don't know that it is my life that is delayed. In that place in Guangzhou, you don't have a diploma and you don't know Cantonese. What can you do besides doing the same work as migrant workers all day? Xiao Rong, I changed nine jobs in less than half a year, but only got three poor wages. Do you know how I ended up as a secretary? I slept with that Hong Kong man and became his lover.

I didn't make a sound at the computer for a long time. The beauty added: Now, I am the general manager of one of his branches. I know how it all happened. Xiao Rong, this world is too realistic. You work hard and do things honestly. Unless you are really lucky to step on shit, no one will pay attention to you.

I still don't know what to say. I seem to understand what she said, but I don't seem to understand at all. After thinking about it, I typed a line: No matter what, you are my good sister. I will always support you.

I can feel the beautiful smile over there. She said: I send money home every year now. Filial piety will do. As for going home, let's talk about it later.

I said, what are you going to do after that? Do you have someone you like now?

The beauty sent a smiling expression. She said, Xiao Rong, you are my favorite person.

I pretended to be angry. It's beautiful. That's what I said. Yes It's a pity that I can't be with a Hong Kong man ... The teacher once taught us that everything has its gain and loss, and I agree with it.

Beauty has really changed ... she is no longer the heartless tomboy with me, but a smart and capable professional woman with her own clear purpose and abacus. I looked at the photos she sent me. She wore light makeup, a small black suit and skirt, a white shirt and high heels, which almost made me unrecognizable. I laughed at her: you are really becoming more and more feminine. She looked at the photos I sent, not to be outdone: Why are you still a man and a woman? Change it quickly, or no man will want you.

It's New Year's Eve in a flash. I got up early that day. There is a saying in our country that New Year's Eve is a day to win the lottery. If you get up early that day, you won't sleep late all year, which is a good sign. Look at the gloomy sky, it seems that it is going to snow again. When I went out, I saw lanterns hanging around, and two gods of wealth were posted at the door of the little monkey's house.

Every household is busy behind the door, and the shops are closed these days. It's a little cold in the empty city.

I'm going to my uncle's house, but I'm always hesitating. Should I go or not? But where can I go without going? My dad did say that he would let me spend the New Year with him, but it was his other home after all. Even if Aunt Zhang doesn't feel uncomfortable, I still feel uncomfortable.

I wandered aimlessly on the road for a while and wanted to go again in the afternoon, as long as I could catch a reunion dinner. So he went home again. Just entering the yard, the little monkey mother came out: Xiaorong, where have you been? Your brother just came to pick you up, but you weren't there. He waited for a while and then left.

My brother? I look puzzled. When did I get another brother? Mother monkey quickly explained: It's from your new father's side. ...

Oh, I see.

After thanking my aunt, I went home and began to plan how to spend the year. He came to meet me, and when he saw that I was not here, he went back. So, I don't have to go again. Look outside, fine snowflakes have fallen. It is getting bigger and bigger.

I never thought that one day I would be so lonely. A person's New Year-what! I took out the disco tape from the corner and turned the volume up to the maximum-emptied all the cosmetics in my mother's drawer and wiped my face. Boil a pot of water in the kitchen, take it out and lift the lid. Wow-the effect of steam making dry ice. La la la la, la la la la-

Bang bang bang! Someone knocked at the door. I'm crazy. I shouted, who is it? I ran impatiently to open the door-it was a little monkey. They stood there staring at each other. Especially when I have two chicken feathers stuck in my head, my eyes are covered with two big black circles with ink, but my mouth is red. I regret that my intestines are green ... why did I open the door so early? Ah, it must be a dream and an illusion, it's not true. ...

The little monkey laughed so hard that I wanted to slap him. Are you playing an Indian? He asked loudly in the deafening music.

What are you doing here? I suddenly turned off the music.

My mother said you were home alone ... let me have a look. He said.

I looked blankly, pulled off the chicken feathers on my head, and spent another five minutes cleaning up my face and getting back to normal, and looked back at him.

It can only be distinguished by comparison, so it looks good when you see it. Said the little monkey.

When did I become ugly? I was mean to him.

When did you see it? He answered blows with blows.

You ... I was just about to fight back, and he said, well, I'll let you see it today. You can watch it anytime.

I stared at him. The little monkey said again, Xiao Rong, aren't you going? Then I will accompany you for the New Year.

Don't think I'll thank you. I still pretend to be fierce.

I thank you, okay. He smiled and squeezed my face.

A: Diary written by a girl-Topic: I met a pervert on the bus today.

I felt someone close to me as soon as I got on the bus today. I took a look by the way. That is a wooden middle-aged man.

I didn't think much at that time. Not just three hands at most, so I took the bag. I got on the bus and found him sitting very close to me. I narrowed my eyes and saw him staring at me, one hand on his place (I don't need to explain more). Fortunately, he still covered it with a skirt, but I saw his hands moving all the time. "What a pervert!" I guess he looked at me and didn't know what obscene pictures were in his head!

In this way, he never got off the bus. I have been looking out of the window, my neck is crooked, and my eyes have to pay attention to his movements from time to time.

Finally arrived at the station, something happened!

The pervert who killed thousands of knives tripped me with his foot. Fortunately, I was quick and didn't fall. I stared at him, and this sick bastard dared to smile at me. I can't help shouting: pervert, what do you want? ! ! ! This is the whole car staring at him and finally getting revenge.

Lesson: Girls must not be afraid of such perverts. The more afraid they are of him, the more presumptuous they are. What that kind of person fears most is that all eyes are fixed on him.

B: a diary written by a man-topic: I am so depressed today. ...

Today, when I took the No.48 bus, I was close to the girl in front because there were many people pushing me at the back. The girl looked back at me. She is a beautiful young woman. I didn't think much at the time. I don't think how close I am to her, because there are so many people in the car. I hope she understands.

I got on the bus and found her sitting very close to me. I saw her staring at me sideways. I thought, what are you looking at? I am plain, wearing ordinary clothes. Doesn't she know it's impolite to stare at people? Is there anything particularly eye-catching about me?

It suddenly occurred to me that when I went out in the morning, I wore a pair of 20 pieces of Qian Qi pants, which had a low price in the zoo wholesale market a few days ago. I zipped it in the toilet before I got on the bus, and I didn't care at that time. I touched it with my hand. Oh, my God, actually, the zipper is broken.

I'm going to meet my friends soon, so let's start repairing the zipper. Fortunately, my coat was long, so I covered it with a skirt and began to mend it. I looked up and looked around. The girl looked at me from time to time, with a little surprise in her eyes. I am wearing underwear. what are you reading? It's really irritating. Forget it. Let's repair my zipper. I guess she was tired of watching me and her neck was crooked, so she looked out of the window, but she still turned to look at me from time to time.

There are still two stops to go, and the zipper hasn't been repaired yet!

At this time, the girl is getting off the bus, and finally no one is staring at me, so she can concentrate on pulling my zipper. With a sigh, I stretched my foot and accidentally tripped over the girl who was about to get up and get off. Fortunately, she was quick and didn't fall. She stared at me and I smiled apologetically. She yelled at me: pervert, what do you want? ! ! ! At this time, the whole car was staring at me. What is wrong with me? I-I just want to get a zipper.

Lesson: Gay men should never buy ultra-cheap pants, because it will be troublesome to encounter such a bad zipper in public.