Talk show joke clips adolescence

Everyone's life is a book. Yours may be called Happy Pastoral, while mine is called Joke Encyclopedia. In fact, when I was young, I was also very pretentious. At the age of three, I studied literature, practiced martial arts at the age of four, recited poems and songs at the age of five, and flipped 720 degrees in the air at the age of six. Swish, swish, swish, swish, splash your head on the ground. So I lay down for three years. I was nine years old when I was in the first grade of primary school, and I studied in primary school for fourteen years. The teacher was confused when she saw me. What! Dude, you have to play here. What does it matter? Learning laziness is directly related to parents' family education. Right? My monitor studies well and is beautiful. My parents instilled in her an idea that the farther you use chopsticks when you eat, the farther you will marry when you grow up. The monitor has a little dream, that is, he wants to marry abroad, so two pairs of chopsticks are tied together for dinner. In the end, she successfully married a fried dough stick, which was not spicy. Therefore, it is very important for parents to guide their children. When we were young, we almost always asked our parents the same question, that is, mom and dad, where did I come from? At this time, it's time for mom and dad to lie, son. You dug it out of the ground. Son, you found it at the door. I hate it when you send it by phone. My dad's explanation is definitely different. Son, you cut the watermelon to make me grow so big. Now I'm afraid to watch others cut watermelons. Hey! Dude, slow down. There may be children in it. Right?

When I was a child, my teacher gave me a question. What's the problem? Let the students form idioms one by one. It's really the sons of dragons, dragons, phoenixes and rats who can make holes. What do you think a painter's son is going to write? One stroke, one mountain and one water. What did the developer's son write? One room, one living room, one kitchen and one bathroom. A captain's son came and wrote wave after wave. I wrote that if you drink too much in one bottle, you will vomit. My father is an alcoholic through and through. You can drink four bottles of white wine for two or two meters, and you are in a daze every day. If I have any questions, I will ask him. What do I mean when I say that dad doesn't know the law? See how my dad explained it to me. Legal blindness is French blindness. What do I mean when I say dad takes a shower? Taking a bath is taking a bath! What about basking in the sun? Dry cleaning. I said, dad, can you sing little stars? I will! Then sing it for me. Star or star?

My childhood was particularly gloomy. I remember when I was in history class, the teacher told me about Eight-Nation Alliance's burning of Yuanmingyuan. Ask questions. I was not in class. I am developing my intelligence below. I called the landlord and robbed him with several classmates. You play cards too well. The teacher asked me to stand up. What, teacher? Let me ask you a question. Who burned Yuanmingyuan? I didn't burn it Ask you who burned it! Teacher, you just don't understand me when you talk so much. If I burned it, I can admit that I really didn't. Go back there. Your dad called. My dad's here. My dad has been here for four hours. I came after drinking, and the teacher was always anxious to wait. Why don't you come here? What did you do, you son of a bitch? Look at you. What are you talking about? Who burned Yuanmingyuan? He said he didn't burn it. A heart attack makes me angry. I'm getting old with anger. My dad explained, don't be angry with the teacher. I'll pay for whoever can burn it. That's how I grew up. I remember what I hated most when I was a child was to spray toilet water for fear of mosquito bites. I don't like spraying it. I lied about my mother, son. You spray it, you spray it, you become invisible. Then you will be a hero. Spray it. Mom and dad will say, oh, where have you been? I can't see you. When I grew up, I once kicked my teacher after spraying toilet water. I found that my life is a lie, and I can't be invisible at all. That guy asked the teacher to slap me. When I was a child, I remember that what I wanted most was the Chinese New Year. Because of the Chinese New Year, new clothes and hats will be given lucky money. Many, many, many, many, aunts come over, and children will give you lucky money. Grandpa came to give lucky money. Uncle came to give the lucky money. Give me the money. Who are you cursing, son of a bitch? Did my second uncle give you money? Why doesn't my second uncle give you money? It looks really broken. One point, two points and five points. It doesn't matter. The most touching thing when I was a child was holding it. Not for you. This is for children. The saddest thing is that you can't get a penny when you come to your son and mother for help. When I was a child, I was most afraid of exams, because my father would kick my ass after the exams. Before the exam, I made sure that I was ill. I'm particularly afraid of exams. I looked at the test paper that I studied well and sent out four words. I was very happy when I finished the exam. After the exam, my father sent me two words. If I don't hit you with ten thousand peach blossoms today, you won't know why the flowers are so red. I kicked that house. Every time I was beaten, I burned paper and milk for my grandmother, burned some paper for you, and was beaten again. I'll burn you two more papers, and the old man will answer them. It's good for cardiovascular and cerebrovascular diseases. If you really can't answer, you can ask the boy who asked the question to give you guidance. So before every exam, my father would brainwash me. Son, are you confident this time? Dad, don't be so talkative. Everyone has everyone's specialty. I can't do Chinese, so you can't do math, so you can't do math, so you can't do English, so what can you do? I can eat, I can test, I can eat, calf, I don't care what you can do. If you fail in the exam today, don't call me dad when you come back. Pushing the door during the exam, I said, big brother, I'm back, and I'll try my dad after the exam. What's the score? 100? It's already broken. I am very happy. I'm torn. My math, 100, English, 100. I'm mad at my dad. I bought a polygraph. What's the score? 100? What's the number, Didi? So sometimes, if you don't study hard, you will definitely not get into a good school. When we were young, we always wanted to leave our parents, earn money and spend money ourselves. But when we grow up, we really want to go back to childhood. When we were young, we were always carefree and hungry. Mom wants you to go back for dinner. When we are cold, dad will add clothes for you. It's different when you grow up. We are overwhelmed by all kinds of pressures, but you can't go back. Some people use photos to recall our childhood.

Yesterday, will you remember that you can't afford a house today?

Yesterday, did you encounter the pressure of today's work?

You said you wanted to fly a plane when you grew up.

Now you are sweeping the floor.

I swear to buy a Lamborghini.

Now I'm driving a motorcycle

La la la ... worthless.

have no future

La la la ... It's okay.

Who came to look down on me? I said, who are you?

I once said that I would watch the prosperity of the world together, but now I am like a duck to water in the world.

Do you want to grow up when you meet your deskmate on the road?

La la la la ... the world is thriving.

La la la la ... Sihai is at home

La la la la ... you at the same table

La la la la ... I don't want to grow up.