Funny jokes and short sentences in life

Funny jokes and short sentences in life

Funny jokes and short sentences in life, when you are unhappy, you can watch some jokes and make your mood better. There are funny jokes everywhere in life, depending on whether you have found the eyes of the jokes! Let's take a look at funny jokes, short sentences and related materials in life.

Funny phrases in life 1 1. Fortunately, I am ugly and have never experienced your love and hate.

Second, when you comfort others, you just want to find a rope when you comfort yourself.

Third, if you love several people at the same time, you are young; If you only love one person, then you are old; If you don't love anyone, you have been born again.

Four, grow so big, didn't learn other skills, mastered a specialty, can sleep without sleeping pills during the day, can be excited without stimulants at night.

5. Life is like jiaozi. Whether you are dragged into the water or you jump into the water yourself, life is not mature without drowning once.

6. Mom and Dad, be calm when you have a parent-teacher meeting, and face the teacher calmly to provoke the relationship between you and me. I am your own. Do you believe me or him?

Seven, every winter, the places outside the bed are far away, and the places that the hands can't reach are in other places. Going to the toilet is a business trip.

Eight, I will faint by boat. How can I have two feet on both sides?

Nine, when I was a child, my father told me that I picked it up next to the trash can. From then on, whenever I am unhappy and sad, I will sit next to the trash can because it smells like home.

The highest expression of friendship is that you are all gay in the eyes of others!

Eleven, when I was a child, I went to the zoo to see tigers and vowed to raise one when I grew up. After 20 years, my dream has finally come true. Anyway, it's time to cook for my wife.

Twelve, when I was a child, I compared my grades. Compare wages when you grow up. Now you have to compare your steps when you walk. Give me a break, I just want to be a garbage without competition, but I didn't find out until I really made garbage, even garbage should be classified!

Thirteen, senior three went to the bank to get a card, and the counter gave me a list. The type of certificate I fill in is: rectangle.

Fourteen, lose weight for ten years and eat fat for three minutes. Ten years of love, three minutes to break up. Study for ten years and forget for three minutes. It takes three minutes to charge for ten years.

Every time I find the key to success, someone changes the lock.

Sixteen, my hobbies can be divided into static and dynamic, static is sleeping, dynamic is turning over.

Seventeen, life is like a dream, I always suffer from insomnia; Life is like a play, I always wear help; Life is like a song, I always go out of tune; Life is like a battlefield, and I am always possessed. Summary: a miserable life!

Making money is a kind of ability, and spending money is a kind of technology. My ability is limited, but my skill is high.

Nineteen, I usually like to drive Rolls Royce and Bentley. If I go out with my friends, I will drive a Porsche. If I want to drive fast, I prefer Ferrari. Of course, I like joking best.

Twenty, it is said that drinking can't exceed six points drunk, eating can't exceed seven points full, and couples can't exceed eight points! But most people are often drunk, full, and then stupid!

Funny jokes and short sentences in life 2 1. With such a song, I will unconsciously think of someone and shed inexplicable tears.

The most terrible thing is that she obviously hates you and pretends to be good with you. The most terrible thing is that she is very kind to you, but she speaks ill of you in front of others; The most terrible thing is that the person you see day and night thinks you have nothing to say to her, but she has a lot to hide from you; The most terrible thing is that she also said that she hates people, but she is good with him; The most terrible thing is that your best friend betrayed you. It's really ridiculous that you can't even give your heart in friendship.

3, there is no power to move forward, there is no room for retreat, and standing still makes people anxious. This is the life of modern people. Zhu Deyong

4. I understand the truth, but the feelings don't make sense.

Friendship, like love, has a shelf life. Think about how many friends who have lost contact silently exist in your address book. It's not that I don't want to contact. But that life is cruel and time and space are changing. You and I have no intersection. It's better to be in love with each other than to be in love with each other. Life is just a journey, you pass by me, I pass by you, and then, practice separately and move on.

6. There is only one kind of success-living according to your own meaning.

7. If a person thinks too highly of himself, he will be looked down upon by others; A person with low self-esteem will be respected by others. Deliberately raising yourself is a kind of guilty conscience, and deliberately belittling yourself will also be affected. A peaceful look, a sincere attitude and a generous attitude that doesn't care whether others think it is noble or not are the guarantee of a peaceful life. -Yu

8, the heart is determined, the strength of love.

9. The world made me black and blue, but the wound grew wings.

10, you could have chosen a flat and upright road, but you chose a thorny, rugged and dangerous road. You could have chosen a light cloud to pass by, but you chose a moth to put out the fire, regardless of the consequences. You could have chosen a noisy carnival, but you chose to stand alone, alone. No matter how the years change, I am willing to bear it because I can't regret it. Xia Qixi

1 1. I waited for several hours at the job fair, but I didn't get enough education. 2 1 1 was rejected by the interviewer. You cried, and then you thought the world was unfair. Maybe you didn't work hard enough in high school, so you didn't get into 2 1 1. Maybe you didn't work hard enough in college, so you can only squeeze a job fair with more than one person to find a job. Maybe you didn't take the time to exercise your ability to resist stress, so you were knocked down by one sentence. A person goes to any position because of himself. -Liu Tong

12, love, either don't start or live forever.

13, maybe you will never know, and I will remember your words for a long time; One of your disapproving promises, but I'm trying to wait.

14, lovelorn is like an hourglass, tears and heartache are a trickle. Every time I think about you, it will cause a burst. Everyone who is lovelorn has sung Happy Break-up and experienced the time after the break-up. Many urban men and women have experienced such painful times. Love is the most beautiful thing in the world. Even if it breaks your heart, forget it with a smile and start the next journey.

15, don't say sorry to me. You have nothing to be sorry for. Love is honest. It is a fact that I love you. It is also true that you don't love me. If you pretend to love me, you feel sorry for me.

16. If you can't give me everything, I'd rather have nothing.

17, accustomed to life without any surprises now.

18, many times, humans accidentally misunderstand themselves, imagining themselves to be too smart or not smart enough, and time will always clarify the misunderstanding. Liu Yu

19, buy it, don't compare prices; Eat, don't regret; Love is love, don't be suspicious; If it doesn't work, it will be replaced if it is broken, and it will be scattered if it is scattered. Don't slander it.

20. If you are strong inside, you can apologize, but you must be stronger to forgive.

2 1. If you want to go, you should go quickly. Don't waste my time. There is no good result yet.

22. How naive it used to be and how vicissitudes it is now.

23, like a person, always happy; If you love someone, you will often cry. If you like someone, you will smile when you think of him. Love a person, when you think of him, you will look at the sky blankly. Like a person, is to see his advantages; To love someone is to tolerate his shortcomings. Like, is a kind of mood; Love is an emotion.

24. We all have those days when we are desperate when we are loved and we are at a loss when we are loved.

25. When love is a thing of the past, letting go is a kind of satisfaction. Not all love must blossom and bear fruit. Love doesn't need to die to show its will, and it doesn't need to lick the wound all its life. Wise love is to heal the scar and forget the pain: I will remember you and then love others.

The funny short sentence 3 1 in life, it takes thousands of years to change from a monkey to a human, and it only takes a bottle of wine to change from a human to a monkey.

2, heroes don't ask for a way out, hooligans don't look at age!

Sleeping is an art, and no one can stop me from pursuing it!

After a long hesitation, I decided to tell you this unspeakable secret: that is, I miss you. Besides, I also want to tell you that I hope you have a good weekend and don't forget me!

5. Doing well in the exam depends on sitting at the same table.

6, eat, eat all over the country, drink a cup, drink a thousand cups, don't get drunk, drink well, smile, smile away from work pressure, have fun, and have a wonderful life. I wish you a happy weekend, beaming!

7. I am small-minded, but I am not lacking. I have a good temper, but I am not without it!

8. You also let me kneel on the washboard. Kneeling and heating really can't stand it!

9. Women like two kinds of flowers best in their life: one is to spend money, and the other is to spend as much as possible!

10, two birds share the same life, a pair of poor butterflies.

1 1. Swing happy sculls, raise carefree sails, start a relaxed boat, rush to the other shore, bathe in fresh air, accept the baptism of happiness, immerse yourself in a good time and enjoy a happy weekend. Have a nice weekend and have fun!

12. Ambiguous is that I asked you to borrow money, but you didn't say that you borrowed it, and you didn't say that you didn't borrow it, only that your husband was not at home. ...

13, as the saying goes: laugh and the whole world laughs with you; You cried. You are the only one crying in the world.

14, if I don't hit you, you won't know that I am both civil and military.

15, teachers should be careful when their moral standards are not awake when they are particularly sleepy.

16, young, but heavy. The balance is not much, but I want to buy a lot.

17, God said there should be light, and I said I opposed it, so the world was dark.

18, I am a civilized person, and all swearing words have been disinfected with saliva.

19, the face is a thing outside the body. Whether it is necessary or not, money is a must.

20. The geography teacher asked: What are the four oceans? I replied: pleasant goat, beautiful goat, lazy goat, boiling goat.

2 1, so tired, I want to cut a knife on the back of my head, and then collapse to the ground and install a piggy bank.

22. When you see a beautiful woman, touch your pocket first to see if you have any money!

If I were a princess, I would save a frog, but all I met were toads.

There are two reasons why inviting girls out to play failed. One is that she is too lazy to wash her hair, and the other is that your invitation is not worth washing her hair.

25. After becoming mothers, many women suddenly understand what "a father loves a mountain"! Shan usually just stays there doing nothing, standing on tiptoe.

When you put on the wedding dress of love, I also put on the monk's cassock. ...

I go to bed like a wild animal, especially like a koala. I slept 18 hours.

28. Mozzie, you have hands and feet. Why don't you get a job and live a good life?

29. I will be good friends with anyone who says I am white, thin and beautiful.

30. The teacher said that you can't eat snacks in class. Fortunately, I brought hot pot today.

3 1. If I don't love you, I won't be bored enough to care about you.

32, too late to say, has become a regret in our hearts.

33. Sometimes, things are simple, and the complicated thing is your own head.

34. I may not love you, because having is the beginning of losing.

35. Say to those women who love me: You can love me all your life if you have the ability.

36. You are my belief, which makes me firm and inseparable from you!

37, people can't take money into the grave. But money can take people to the grave.

38. It is better to forget you happily than to be in a world you don't want.

39. Swing happy sculls, raise carefree sails, start a relaxed boat, run to the other side, bathe in fresh air, accept the baptism of happiness, immerse yourself in a good time and enjoy a happy weekend. Have a nice weekend and have fun!

40. It's not that I don't want to play computer in the morning, but it's already noon as soon as I get up.

4 1. People's eyes are black and their hearts are red. Once jealous, the heart is black.

42. The person I trust most taught me not to trust anyone easily.

You said you could dance with me even if there is a cliff ahead, but that's just talk.

44. Why is RMB so valuable? Because the image spokesperson is.

45. A man can't put a wedding dress on a woman. Please don't untie her underwear!

46. Without existence, who will witness your shameless happiness?

47, Beijing love story Lin Xia said to the madman: I love you has nothing to do with you.

48. The night gave me a pair of black eyes, but I rolled my eyes with them.

49. Lies are sweet words when told, and disgusting when poked!

If you forget how to move forward, think about why you came here in the first place.

5 1, turn you into my bad habit, it is better to turn me into your good mood!

52. Since I was a child, I have a dream that everyone in China will give me a dollar!

53. Those who can board my number are either people I trust or people I love.

There is no moon in Mid-Autumn Festival. Is there a clear night sky like your heart?

55. There will always be a moment when you feel so strong that you don't need anything.

56. There is no distance between points in the world, only the distance between hearts.

57. Women nowadays are really great. I don't know-I feel pregnant, have children, and have no father!

58. Someone taught you how to love, but he doesn't love you anymore.

59. Our English teachers and math teachers can form an invincible alliance …

60. I can't rely on anything these days. I have to rely on myself. In short: I ... Shit!