When people reach middle age, why are some couples "asexual" and "loveless" still unwilling to be together?

Some people compare a partner in marriage to a pair of shoes. Everyone knows that a pair of shoes should match a pair of feet, but many people often take a fancy to the style of shoes, but there is no suitable size. Some people choose a pair of shoes that fit them, but they don't like the style of shoes. Either way, it is not so "perfect".

In marriage, especially many middle-aged couples live a life of "no love" and "no love". In fact, there is another saying about this kind of life, that is, "widowed marriage", that is, husband and wife do not perform their obligations together, but live together.

Xiaoqing is 36 years old and is now experiencing this widowed marriage life. In fact, she and her husband are not without emotional foundation, nor are they so-called three views, but their relationship has faded. Xiaoqing and her husband met at a friend's party. In fact, Xiaoqing didn't like her husband at first sight. The man is less than 1.7 meters tall, with a thick fake chain and a strong perfume smell, but he still took the initiative to chat with Xiaoqing. He is humorous and infectious, which makes all the women present giggle. It happened that he took the initiative to pursue Xiaoqing, and Xiaoqing's family was urging her to date. Xiaoqing holds the attitude of trying to associate with that man. That man is very kind to Xiaoqing. He will send her a bunch of beautiful roses on Valentine's Day, invite a large group of friends he knows to give her a party on her birthday, and even appear in front of her like superman when she has a difficult thing to deal with. When my boyfriend's old house was just demolished, he proposed affectionately. "If you are willing to marry me, we will buy a bigger house directly."

Xiaoqing agreed, everything was fine in the first few years of marriage, and I don't know when it started to change. When the man comes back, he plays games on his mobile phone, and they no longer sleep in the same bed. Even if it rains, her husband is too lazy to give her an umbrella. I remember that day, it rained heavily and Xiaoqing called her husband. Her husband shouted angrily, "How old are you, and you don't know to watch the weather forecast?" Since it's raining, let me give you an umbrella. Do you know that I lost the game because of your phone call? "It's cold outside, Xiaoqing's clothes are wet, but her heart is colder. She can't compare with her husband's game. She said angrily, "Have fun at home. I'll take a taxi myself." "Well, that's what you said. Do not call me again. "As soon as the voice fell, the phone hung up, and it was difficult to call a car in rainy days. Xiaoqing didn't know how long she had waited, and finally arrived. When she got on the bus, the driver asked, "Your husband won't pick you up in such a heavy rain? "

Xiaoqing felt very sad, but she lied that "he was on a business trip."

Yes, she is a proud person. She doesn't want to embarrass outsiders. Sure enough, the driver shut up and stopped talking. When she got home, Xiaoqing saw her husband playing games on the sofa. She didn't look up when she came back. She just said, "What took you so long? I'm hungry, go and cook! "

Xiaoqing doesn't even have the mood to quarrel, because she knows that quarreling doesn't make any sense, and her husband won't change a little for her, nor will he care about her, love her and give her unexpected surprises as before. As for why not divorce? Xiaoqing is also afraid that although her present marriage is very bad, she can still live. She doesn't want her children or her family to be affected. More importantly, she still has some expectations in her heart. Her husband will have a conscience one day and become the same as before, so she will not take the initiative to destroy this marriage without her husband's clarification. But she doesn't know how long she can hold on. She is really afraid that she will do something out of line like those people.

In fact, many women, like Xiaoqing in the article, are experiencing such a life. Two people are nominally together, but in fact each has his own life. In fact, as long as two people communicate more, communicate more, care more about each other and their families, and cultivate good feelings, the result may be different.