Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - Collect cold jokes. Thank you, great god

Collect cold jokes. Thank you, great god

1。 One day, Xiao Qiang asked his father, "Dad, am I a stupid child?" Dad said, "Silly boy, how can you be a silly boy?" 2。 There is a penguin, doing nothing, plucking and playing. He said, it's cold. Sequel: There is a polar bear with nothing to do. He tugged at his hair to play. He said: Penguins are right. There is a hide-and-seek club president in the school who hasn't been found yet. One day, Xiaoming was walking on the road! I suddenly feel sore when I walk! Why is this happening? Because Xiaoming stepped on a lemon. 4. An electrician walked into the operating room and said to a critically ill patient wearing an oxygen mask: Hello! Listen, take a deep breath, I need a power outage for five minutes! 5: An ant said to the elephant, "I have it, it's yours!" " "The elephant fainted after hearing this, and when he woke up, he said to the ant," I want another one! " "Hearing this, the ant was scared to death! 6. When the train in Spring Festival travel rush was very crowded, a gentleman took advantage of the parking to fart outside the window. When the inspector at the bottom of the car found it, he shouted: Fat man is like a cigar, retract his head. 7: it is convenient for anonymous to enter the public toilet. Just because he forgot to bring paper, a pile of toilet paper popped up in the crack next door. "Thank you, who are you?" You're welcome, I'm Lei Feng. The Minister of Health Planning visited the countryside and met an old farmer. He asked, "fellow villager, do you know why close relatives can't get married?" The old farmer rubbed his hands and said simply: Hehehehehehehehehe, relatives are too familiar to start. 9. Imperial edict: Bring goods to heaven, and the emperor called: Because you don't love me, you are not allowed to shit for three days, and you are not allowed to bring paper when you shit. The paper is only three feet long until you suffocate! A Cheng, get the newspaper! 10: Once upon a time, there was a girl named Qiao Nina. She fell in love with a girl named Shade. They look at the stars together. When the meteor crossed the sky, they gave it a name: Jonina Sunshade 1 1: The mouse called the cat: Hello! The meal is ok! Come down, Missy! The cat lay prone on the mouse hole and stretched out its front paws to take the mouse out. Breathing and screaming all night, the voice was the same the next day. 12: the little mosquito came home crying, and his mother asked, what's the matter? Mozzie: Dad is dead! Mother Mosquito: He didn't take you to the show? Mosquito: Yes, but when the audience applauded, Dad didn't dodge. 13: bee girl shows off spider boyfriend: at least he has his own personal website. 14: Psychological test: If you race with a bear, you would like to: 1. You run faster than a bear; 2. Run as fast; 3. You run slower than a bear ... Answer: 1. You are more than a bird. 2. You are an animal; You are worse than animals. 15: This is an eternal story. A long time ago, a young man lost his beloved girl. He went through a lot of hardships and came to the girl. The girl said to him affectionately, "how about ... get out!" " 16: The hunter saw a bird in the sky, but it missed three times, but the bird still fell. It turned out that the bird patted its chest when it didn't hit the neutron bomb and said, scared to death, scared to death! 17: I saw a penny on the roadside and was about to bend down to pick it up. It turned out to be phlegm. Damn it, who threw up so round? 18: In the shade of the hospital, a couple are hugging and kissing. A doctor saw it and went over to the man and said, "You are so confused. You should put her flat on the ground for artificial respiration. Go away and let me do it. " 19: the blind and the lame ride together, and the lame watch the road. Suddenly, he saw a deep ditch and shouted: Gougougou! The blind man turned around and sang: Ole Ole Ole! So they fell into the ditch! 20: I miss those days. You wriggled in front of me and walked down the country road with your head down. When the villagers saw you, they all praised you: Oh, it's so beautiful and clean! Also praised me: what a good boy, such a small grade came out to release pigs! 2 1: Another chance encounter. Your big watery eyes look at you with emotion. I tried to avoid your sight in panic, but you followed me. I understand how you feel, so I ran over and shouted, Whose dog is not tied? This is an old legend: at midnight, 12 o'clock, pick up the phone and press 12 zeros, and you will hear it. . . You Dial. Yes Electricity. Words. Yes Empty. Number. . . 2 1 Is Dandan the name of a puppy or a tiger? Answer: What brand of car in Little Tiger hates being touched? Answer: BMW BMW (don't touch me) Who is the mother of Chicken 23? Answer: paper helicopter (paper raw chicken) 24 has ABCD..26 letters. How many lETters are left after et left? Answer: 2 1 What's the name of the child who drove away UFOs for 25 days? Answer: What is the name of the child born with 26 winds? Answer: The water rises (the wind rises) 27 Which animal has the worst sense of direction? Answer: Elk (Lost) 28 Wolf, Tiger and Lion Who will definitely be eliminated when playing games? Answer: Who is the child of Wolf (Momotaro) 29 Red Bean Family? A: What color is the excrement of 30 celery in South China (when those red berries come in spring)? Answer: Yellow (Qin Shihuang) 3 1 A mother gave birth to conjoined twins. Her sister's name is Mary, so what's her sister's name? Answer: Monroe (Marilyn Monroe) 32 Don't go out on rainy days without much money? Answer: 30000000 (go out without an umbrella [3]) 33 What should I do if the pigs in the pigsty come out? {Guess the stars} Answer: You Zhu from Wang Leehom 34 pigsty has come out. What should I do? {Guess the stars} Answer: The pigs in Han Hong 35 pigsty came for the third time. What should I do? {Guess a star} Answer: What brand of cosmetics is easy to catch a cold? Answer: ARCHE[ 37A and b can be transformed into each other. B can produce C in boiling water, and C can be oxidized to D in air. Smells like rotten eggs. What are a, b, c and d? Answer: A chicken B egg C cooked egg D rotten egg 38 What sword is transparent? Answer: I can't see 39. Who forgot the water for Andy Lau? Answer: Aha (Aha, give me a cup of forgetful water ...) 40 Why can't I see God's penis? Answer: The secret can't be revealed. 4 1 Why does the white rabbit stay with the goddess the Goddess Chang'e flying to the moon? Answer: Because Chang 'e is a radish leg, why do many dreams live in darkness all their lives? Answer: Because he can't see his fingers. Who cries when she thinks of her mother? Answer: Grandpa (thinking of his mother's words every night, sparkling tears, Lu) 44 Why do you want to put two spoonfuls of salt on the basketball board? Answer: It's a long story. Xiao Bai looks like his brother. Why? Answer: Truth 46 Which brand of electrical appliances is the ugliest? Answer: TCL (too ugly) 47 Which brand of electrical appliances smells the worst? Answer: Which brand of TCL (smelly) 48 is the worst? Answer: TCL (too rotten) 49 What fish is the most stupid? Answer: shark (stupid) fish 50 What fish is the smartest? Answer: Whale (sperm) fish 5 1 We say that a bear without a tail is called a koala, so what is a bear without a * * * *? Answer: The mother bear 52 tortoise built a house in her shell and got into it. {Guess a health care product} Answer: 53 Tortoise in the middle demolished the house, built another house, and then got in. {Guess a health care product} Answer: 54 The tortoise demolished the house again, built the house again, and then got in. {Guess a health care product} Answer: The dog and the rabbit go to the teacher to recite it. Why did the teacher let the dog recite it first? Answer: Dog (Wang Wang Xianbei) 57 Which song has three people in the first sentence? Answer: I am not Huang Rong (me, Bush, Huang Rong). Why don't you vomit when you eat grapes? Answer: Which sect in Portugal does not lie? Answer: Who is the favorite person of Quanzhen Sect 60 to lend a helping hand? Answer: Doraemon 6 1 Which chat tool is the slowest? Answer: MSN (slow death) 62 Who is playing Chopin's nocturne? Answer: Winnie the Pooh (playing Chopin's Nocturne for you) 63 Where is your pigeon hiding? Answer: the roof (singing your song on the roof) 64 Why do lions always send people to contact things in the forest? Answer: Lost 65 A steamed stuffed bun fought with a potato, and the potato killed the steamed stuffed bun. {Guess a foodie} Answer: 66 bean paste buns died, and his father came to seek revenge for potatoes. Potatoes know that they can't beat them, so they run and run. A river stopped the potato {guess a vegetable} Answer: Whose is the Dutch bean 67 sea? Answer: pineapple (Baltic Sea) 68 A rooster and a hen (guess three words) Answer: Two chickens 69 A rooster and a hen (guess five words) Answer: Or two chickens 70 A rooster and a hen (guess seven words) Answer: Idiot, or two chickens 7 1 A bean fell. Only you can encourage him. Why? Answer: Why didn't the princess hang mosquito nets when she got married? Answer: Who is the mother of frog prince 73 meters? Answer: Who are Amy's mother and father? Answer: Is Amy's father a butterfly? Who is Amy's lover? Answer: Who is the grandmother of mouse (mouse loves rice)? Answer: Amy's grandmother is a great pen. Who is Amy's grandfather? Answer: Amy's grandfather is popcorn. Who is bigger, McDonald's or KFC? Answer: KFC (McDonald's is the uncle, KFC is the uncle) 75 eggs fought with chocolate, and chocolate won ~ {a kind of food} answer: chocolate bar eggs were not convinced when they lost, and they went to fight again ~ {a kind of food} answer: as a result, egg noodles and eggs lost twice in a row, and they were not convinced, so they went to find their brother's cake, but the cake was defeated by chocolate and was severely humiliated by chocolate. Finally, chocolate realized her mistake and took the initiative to apologize to the egg and cake. Answer: German chocolate 76 car can fly. {Guess a drink} Answer: How does coffee (car, fly) 77 make the drink bigger? Answer: Read the Great Compassion Curse 78. A white horse is called a white horse, a dark horse is called a dark horse, and a black and white horse is called a zebra. So what's the name of the black, white and red horse? Answer: Who runs fastest in the history of shy zebra 79? Answer: Cao Cao (speaking of Cao Cao) 80 Who wore glasses in the Tang Dynasty? Answer: Li Bai (such a bright line is at the foot of my bed, hey! It's frost on the ground) 8 1 which historical figure is the flattest? Answer: Su Wu. Reason: Su Wu Muyang Beihai (kicked by the sea)