Dubbing jokes in Sichuan dialect sketches

Xiao erhei's marriage-Sichuan dialect sketch time: contemporary location: a "100%" matchmaking agency in a city: Xiao erhei-male, in his thirties, wage earner matchmaker-female, in his forties, matchmaking agency boss Xiao Qi-female, in his twenties, matchmaking agency staff Xiao Wei-female, in his thirties, a single curtain rises on the stage. Matchmaker looked up and down in front of the mirror, high-spirited, calm and confident; Qi is cleaning the table. Short, black and thin, little black in a patched shirt appeared. Xiao erhei heard that Heping Road, a 100% matchmaking agency, is the most famous matchmaking agency in this city. None of the people who come here to register for marriage are yellow. Children who have been single for more than 30 years are itching, so let's join in the fun today. Ricky, hey, what are you doing? This is a marriage agency. Don't come in casually. (Then he said to the matchmaker in a low voice. It seems that today is bad luck. I broke into this pair of other people before opening it. Xiao erhei, I'm here to ask for marriage. Qi, are you going to marry like this? The matchmaker (stunned Qi) has gone, so don't talk. (Looking around Blackie) Are you here for marriage? Xiao erhei, to be honest, I'm in my thirties and haven't played with any friends yet. I want to try my luck here. Qi (facing the audience) It's strange that he can fool his friends. Matchmaker: ouch! I have been in this business for more than ten years, and the success rate is 100%, just like my brand. (pointing to the sign on the table). Qi: Yes, the success rate is high. Now some of them are repeat customers. Do you have any repeat customers? Xiao Qi (making tea) Some people are divorced, to re-optimize the combination. Blackie? (Matchmaker Leng Richie. ) Matchmaker (Sweet) Handsome, what's your name? Xiao erhei (looking back, puzzled) who's your name? Qi (approaches Xiao erhei and pats him on the shoulder) Handsome boy, looking for you. Xiao erhei (clutching his chest in fear) My mother, I have lived half my life, and no one has ever called me that. I'm not handsome. My name is Wang Xiaohei, and everyone who knows me calls me Xiao erhei. Matchmaker: Oh, Xiao Er is Darkmouth. What a cool name. As cool as you. Let Xiao Qi register. My last name is Hong. Please call me the matchmaker. Young black man got it, matchmaker. Matchmaker Xiao erhei, where do you work? Black, where are you going to find money? Matchmaker, where can I find money? Xiao erhei (pointing to the Chinese medicine hospital across the street) I used to work in a Chinese medicine hospital. Matchmaker, you are the person in charge of the opposite hospital. I know many people there. Why have I never seen you before? "Small two black is the way it is. Not long ago, Chinese medicine hospital built a medical building, and I worked as a handyman on the construction site. Matchmaker, are you a handyman on the construction site? The boss won't arrange for me to go back to work. Matchmaker can't see that you have a good relationship with your boss. He only asks you to be light, capable and capable. However, Xiao erhei, the house has already been completed and accepted. You see, it has been put into use, so ... what is the matchmaker? Xiao erhei, so the boss gave me a big holiday. Matchmaker: I see. Now you are a staff member who has left for employment. Well, finding a beautiful woman on your terms is no problem. Xiao erhei (surprised) is finished. It's over. I was so worried. You said looking for beautiful women, then where can I find them? No, no, Ricky, you don't understand. Is to let you find the unwanted, moldy haplessness. Xiao erhei, that's more like it. No one dares to ask me what I want. Find a woman with eyebrows, right, right. The matchmaker Xiao erhei is really going to marry a wife! ? Xiao erhei, I have long wanted to marry a wife. I think during the day, and I think after dark. Matchmaker If you want this thing to succeed, you must listen to my matchmaker's arrangement. Little black is no problem. As long as I get a wife, I will listen to you. However, matchmaker, I have no cash on hand. I will make a reservation for you now. You can buy clothes with a little style, dress up and come back. I'll ask Qi to go with you. How does Xiao erhei get married? Is it that complicated? It is more difficult for matchmakers to chase women than thieves. What can we do without spending some money? How did Xiao erhei get involved with the thief? Matchmaker thief, if you get him back, you can get back what you lost. This woman, you have just begun to recover your losses, so men have to do what they have to do in front of women, understand? Little black I see, little black. Then I'll do it. Matchmaker, wait for me! " Ricky exits. Xiao erhei temporarily quit. The little guy with fashionable dress and pleasant temperament did not appear. Xiao Wei, are you Sister Hong? Matchmaker (stands up to greet) Yes, please sit down. Are you here to get married? Xiao Wei (a little embarrassed) is like this. My name is Xiao Wei. I have worked hard in Hainan alone for more than ten years. I have been busy with my career, and personal problems have delayed me. Almost forty. I really want to find a home, but I haven't met the right one yet. I heard that you are an invincible matchmaker when I came back this time, so I came to ask you for help. Matchmaker, you flatter me. It is our service aim to satisfy every pursuer. A beautiful woman with a successful career like you will certainly have many followers, but you should grasp the important events in life and choose carefully. Xiao Wei just, hey, I have to ask you. Matchmaker, what kind of person is your husband? Xiao Wei should at least be kind, sincere, enterprising and responsible for his family. Other conditions can be relaxed. Matchmaker (overjoyed) You think exactly as I do. I want to choose a person. If you two are together, it's a perfect match. Xiao Wei. Really? Then what does he do? Matchmaker, not many people don't know him. Wang Xiaohei, the general director of Nakagawa Film Production Company, is only in his early thirties this year. He is a young wizard. Xiao Wei can't do this. A man with such achievements must find a young girl. Don't think about me. Matchmaker Xiao Wei, you don't know that Wang Dao used to be a vulnerable person. His ex-girlfriend is an actress, and she is really young and beautiful, but she left him after she became popular with him. So, he just wants to live a plain life now. Actually, Xiao Wei, you don't look like you're nearly 40. You look like you're 30 at most. Xiao Wei has a sense of music, her face is full of joy and she is looking forward to a happy future. Blackie goes on stage. ) The matchmaker said, Speak of the devil. The artist is Wang Dao, Wang Dao. This beautiful woman came back from Hainan to Xiao Wei. You two are really destined for each other. Xiao Wei, please sit down first. I want to talk to Wang Dao about something. (Before Xiao erhei could react, the matchmaker pulled Xiao erhei up and went inside. A mime performance. ) Xiao Wei is a surprise to me. He is no different from the black loach. He is black and thin, and he is not qualified enough. At this moment, the matchmaker handed Xiao Wei a cup of hot tea. ) matchmaker, you can't say that about people. Just tell them what they look like. Wang Dao said that if the marriage event can be settled, he will complete his first blockbuster, his ... debut, with his future wife. Xiao Wei, I really hope this great and lucky woman is you. Xiao Wei (shyly) looked for fate. (Xiao erhei comes out confidently at this time. ) Matchmaker (looks at his watch) Oh, it's time to get off work. Please visit your company. Xiao erhei, as long as Mr. Wei is willing to participate, no problem. Xiao Wei: OK, go and have a look. (Out of the matchmaking agency. Change the scenery. I seldom walk in the dark, and there are too many acquaintances on the road. My driver's father-in-law's niece's cousin gave birth to a baby in Chinese medicine hospital, and I gave him two days off to visit. Tao, it's very thoughtful of you to be so kind to the driver. Passerby (reading the words posted behind Xiao erhei) Wang Dao, you are back from America. (Repeat several times) (Xiao erhei pretends to nod to passers-by, trying to make Xiao Wei think that he is really a celebrity. Xiao er has too many acquaintances in black street. Let's go for a walk by the river. Xiao erhei seems to be raining! Xiao Wei is, and it's getting bigger! (Sneezing) Ah, stop! Xiao erhei (facing the audience with a blank face) is terrible. What if I don't have to weigh the flowers and money by bus? (A brainwave) Take off your coat and get ready to get wet, revealing a patched shirt. Xiao Wei (exclaiming), why don't you take off your clothes? Xiao erhei (thinking that things are exposed) This is not a dress for acting, but my own clothes. I usually wear this dress. I am so old, I have experienced all kinds of storms, and now I have withstood all tests. After years of searching, I finally found out that you are the one I am looking for, Xiaohe, and I am willing to be with you. Xiao erhei, would you like to stay with me? Whether I wear this dress or that dress! Xiao Wei, I do! Whether you wear this dress or that dress. Xiao erhei, will you marry me whether I wear this dress or that one? Xiao Wei, whether you wear this skirt or that skirt, no matter which skirt you wear, no matter who you are, I will marry you. The music begins. Xiao erhei (performing and singing Wei) Do you know that I love you? I'm going to take you home, look at that beautiful rose and pick one for you myself. (Half kneeling, offering flowers). Xiao Wei (yelling) Oh, get up, the ground is too wet, let's go home! Blackie (happily) wants it! Freeze and debut. the end

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