Self-anatomy series: Analysis of INFJ’s F-emotional traits (Part 2)

"In the end, I can only tell myself that the most reasonable way is not to force myself." - Albert Camus

Personality type (MBTI/Type 16 personality) The evaluation system is based on four basic aspects of human personality: how we interact with the world and where our energy is directed, represented by introversion I and extroversion E; the way we obtain information is through intuition N or feeling S; when making decisions, do we tend to be thinking type T or emotional type F; and whether our attitude towards life is J type planning and judgment or P type casual freedom.

Thinking (T)/Emotion (F)

As mentioned earlier, our interaction with the world and the source of energy, as well as how we obtain information, have two In the same way as tendencies, this third dimension of personality type - how we make decisions and get results, also has two different ways: thinking (Thinking) and feeling (Feeling).

Thinking refers to thinking and making decisions in an objective way. Emotions usually make decisions based on personal values. This is the core difference between thinking and feeling preferences.

Observe the people around us, thinking type T, often behaves in life and work: rational and objective, fair and just, logical, cold and decisive, obvious preferences will give people an impersonal feeling, which is not good Discussion, aloof style that is difficult to approach.

The emotional type F, as the name implies, often appears to be perceptual, subjective, emotional, compassionate, friendly and kind, seems enthusiastic, easy to talk, and approachable.

Why is there such a difference?

Because thinking people like logical decisions. They pride themselves on their ability to be objective and analytical when making decisions. Make decisions by analyzing and weighing evidence (putting things first), even if the results are unpleasant. Emotional people make decisions based on personal value preferences (people first) and based on facts they believe are correct. They pride themselves on their sensitivity and compassion.

Therefore, thinking type T who makes judgments and decisions through logical reasoning and objective facts, their statements often include "because, so..." "First, secondly..."; and through value orientation , Emotional type F who makes judgments and decisions based on subjective feelings. Their statements often include "This matter is very important to me..." "I understand the truth, but I still want to..."

See At this point, some friends may think that from this point of view, the thinking type is more rational when making decisions, while the emotional type is a bit emotional and not rational enough. In order to improve the accuracy of decision-making, we all need to be more rational, and it is better to become a thinking type.

This is not the case. Each of us uses both preferences. Thinking people also have feelings and personal values, and emotional people can also be very objective and logical. Both are rational methods, they just use different standards in the process of making decisions.

For example, the thinking type takes objective facts as the starting point, and does things right first, and then considers people; the emotional type, takes personal value orientation as the starting point, handles people well first, and then considers things. The two may reach a consistent result in the end, but the standards used in the process are different.

These different standards are the differences in nature that we are born with, and then are used most naturally and frequently in daily life and successfully internalized into what each of us considers to be the "saneest" when making decisions and judgments. "method.

This is due to nature. We already have different preferences for the thinking type T and the emotional type F. It is not something that we think is better, which can be completely changed through human efforts. However, as age and experience increase, the thinking type can also show more tenderness, sensibility, and compassion; the emotional type can also be more independent, objective, calm-headed, and logically clear in situations.

The two terms do not mean that there is only one option and no other is preferable. What we have to do is to see, accept and like our nature, and actively transform this natural part of our inner self into an advantageous side that blooms brightly.

However, there are also personality biases in our culture that prevent different gender roles from showing their true selves, making it easy for people to misinterpret their true personality preferences.

For example, a woman who is naturally a thinking person may behave more like an emotional person, a compassionate, caring and supportive mother; while a man who is naturally an emotional person may behave more like a thinking person. A type of person is calm, independent, competitive, and not sentimental in the workplace.

Why is this?

On the one hand, in terms of the ratio of men to women, most men (about 2/3) tend to be thinking types, and most women (about 2/3) tend to be emotional types. We are accustomed to most of them being like this, and ignore the few that are not seen. It is also difficult for people to understand because these few hide their true personality preferences for social roles.

On the other hand, from an evolutionary perspective, there is a saying in ancient times that men farmed and women weaved. Men played the role of hunting and protecting their wives and children. Over time, emotional men who are perceptual, considerate and gentle will also be forced by the environment to show the external characteristics of the thinking type - rationality, tolerance and perseverance. As for personality stereotypes, men who are too emotional may be labeled as "sissy" or "unmanly". Similarly, women with outstanding thinking T traits in the workplace are often considered to be extremely independent "workaholics" and "strong women."

However, not all men are rational and calm, and not all women are emotional and passionate. "Iron Lady" Thatcher is a T-shaped woman, and South Africa's national hero Nelson Mandela is an F-shaped man.

Which preference is more consistent with who you really are, rather than who you are assigned or encouraged to be? For those who have been "out of touch" with their true selves for a long time, understanding their own personality preferences is very important and thought-provoking.

So? How to distinguish thinking type T from emotional type F and discover your true self? I personally think that the external intuitive performance is only part of it. The most effective and core thing is to look at the inner motivation and psychological feeling when performing this behavior. Therefore, I have selected the following scenes at work to give you a glimpse. (The reason why we choose work performance for analysis is because in life we ??can relax and be ourselves as much as possible, but at work, objective factors restrict us from expressing our true selves. If we can find out our true character background under the protection of the workplace, it will Help us understand ourselves more clearly. )

Distinguish between thinking type T and emotional type F——

1. How do thinking types and emotional types view company rules, regulations and contracts?

People who prefer thinking type T: Regarding the system, standards should be unified and then implemented. Once implemented, everyone must follow it and conduct official business; for contracts and agreements, strictly follow the contract requirements, I don't want to involve too much else.

Person with emotional preference F:

Institutions are important, but institutions are dead and people are alive. Any rules should be determined according to the specific situation. If there are special circumstances , need to be dealt with in a humane manner; for contracts and agreements, if there are unexpected situations, we can understand each other, help to accommodate, and be proud of this "accommodation" and be gentle.

Analysis:

1. Thinking-type people are usually calm and calm when doing business. They completely feel that it is appropriate, natural and easy to do things according to the system. . The emotional type prefers to be a good person.

2. When dealing with interpersonal relationships, the thinking type can also be emotional, and the emotional type can also be very rational, that is, everyone needs to use these two functions. However, when people with a thinking preference use their emotional functions (subjective, perceptual), they feel psychologically insecure and believe that acting emotionally is dangerous, illogical, and unnatural. In the same way, emotional people tend to feel nervous and worried when using their thinking functions (logical and rational).

3. If the thinking type behaves emotionally, they will blame themselves in their hearts and should not be too emotional. The emotional type behaves rationally and objectively. When doing business, they will blame themselves in their hearts and should not be too rational, and are usually Embarrassed, exhausted, and worried about making the other person feel uncomfortable. This is to distinguish between T and F based on true inner feelings.

4. When forced by the environment, the thinking type will also behave very humanely, such as pleasing a large order customer; the emotional type will also behave very rationally, such as deciding to lay off employees to reduce operating costs. At this time, we need to look at the true psychological motivation - for what purpose we are doing this, and whether it is a natural performance or a helpless move forced by the situation.

2. Who is more likely to refuse requests for help from colleagues when working with thinking or emotional types?

Thinking type person T:

As long as I am busy with something, others are basically unlikely to ask me to do anything for them. Even if I'm not busy, even if it's just a little help, if I don't want to help, I can easily refuse others.

Person F with emotional preference:

In fact, many times, I am already very busy, but when faced with other people’s requests, although I want to refuse, I always refuse. Being unable to speak, sometimes I don’t have enough time to deal with my own affairs. It feels embarrassing to refuse other people's requests.

Analysis:

1. The emotional type is very sensitive to other people’s emotions and can detect subtle changes in other people’s hearts. Compared with the emotional type, the thinking type is usually less aware of other people's emotions, and is not as caring about other people's emotions as the emotional type. Therefore, it is more difficult for the emotional type to reject people than the thinking type.

2. The emotional type can also reject others "looking very relaxed", but this "relaxation" is just pretending to be relaxed, and inside it is "embarrassing and unnatural", and even feels sorry Others, and will always be brooding or feel bad after being rejected.

I personally feel this. I have gradually changed from a good-natured person to someone who is now able to reject others more easily. Although I feel comfortable rejecting once and rejecting again and again, I still feel a little nervous every time I refuse. But for practical needs, We must put ourselves in an important position, and our time is the most precious.

In most cases, our unkind refusal gives others the opportunity to take advantage of our "kindness", so friends who have the same emotional preferences as me must be brave enough to take this step, for the first time It’s the most important thing. It gets easier and easier~ I have also studied a set of rejection methods to help people with emotional preferences around me how to say No. After receiving positive feedback, I have a strong sense of accomplishment. , I can write about this methodology another day and share it with my emotional friends.

3. How do thinking and emotional types feel about the work environment and conflicts?

Preference for working environment and corporate culture

Thinking preference person T:

I agree with and like the wolf of "the weak eats the strong, and the strong prevail" Sexual culture can carry out work easily and comfortably in an environment full of cruel competition and infighting.

Person with emotional preference F:

I prefer that my working environment is like a big family, where we help each other and are friendly to each other, with less intrigue and more sincerity. If you have been in a work environment with severe assessments and excessive internal friction, you will be mentally and physically exhausted and eager to escape.

How do the two view conflicts between colleagues?

Person T who prefers thinking type:

After a conflict, I don’t feel much, so I just do as I should and can continue. Carry out work cooperation and handover as usual, and will not let emotions affect the work.

Person with emotional preference F:

If there is a conflict with a colleague, I will find it difficult to do things, very awkward and uncomfortable. Although he pretends to be fine on the surface, it is difficult to get rid of this unhappiness in his heart.

Different reactions after being offended and taken advantage of by others

People with thinking preference T:

The first reaction is to be angry and unforgiving. , strive to the end. If you are friendly to me, I will be friendly in return. If you dare to play tricks on me, I will play them back even harder.

Person F with emotional preference:

The first reaction is sadness. I am usually friendly and easy-going, so I have to be merciful to others. I don't want to make the relationship so tense. If I find that the other person is being scheming, I will be very angry, but I may not really retaliate. I just stay away silently and remind myself not to be fooled again.

This is just like in my life, when I buy fruits and vegetables, I always encounter miscalculations and miscalculations. When I find out that I have been deceived, I usually think, "Hey, why are all the business people doing this?" You are so smart, you always lie to me. Calculate the money and be careful next time, just don’t buy from that store.” Or you may feel sad if you cheat me because you are easy to be cheated.

I just don't want to spend my time fighting over these trivial matters, it doesn't mean I don't know. But the thinking type will definitely fight for their reasons and actively safeguard their rights and interests.

The above lists common scenarios at work to distinguish the different manifestations, inner true feelings, and psychological motivations of the thinking type T and the emotional type F, and combine the thinking type and the emotional type when making decisions and judgments The core differences, we should be able to understand the third dimension in personality types. Of course, this is only part of it, but through the analysis of this part, we can also infer more differences between the two in work and life.

For example:

The emotional type is more easily affected by emotions, is more likely to get caught up in film and television literary works, is more difficult to make decisions, and cares more about other people’s eyes and feelings; but the thinking type The mood is stable, the position is firm, and the decision can be made neatly;

The emotional type is better at praising the other person, thinking that others are right, and seeing the shining points in others; while the thinking type has its own "criticism" "Attribute, they often think that others are wrong and find fault with others;

The emotional type does not like to argue. On irrelevant topics, they may pretend to agree with the other party even if they do not agree, while the thinking type does not like to argue. Once you find that others have made mistakes or have flaws in their behavior or words, they prefer to point it out outright, with full fighting power and fighting to the end, and will not let the other person think they are right.

When a friend is sad, the emotional type tends to sympathize with, comfort, and support, accompany, hug, and encourage the other person; while the thinking type tends to analyze the reasons, provide various rational suggestions, and educate the other person. How people solve problems as quickly as possible. (This is also why when women are wronged at work, never go to your partner to complain, as it will make you even more angry. Originally, you just wanted someone to accompany you to scold you, but in the end, the other party came first, second, then, and finally used a mind map I'll give you a brainwash and teach you how to solve it. I'll just scold you. What solution do you want? It's up to you whether it's irritating or not. At this time, it's time for the other third of the emotional men to show their true skills. ! )

Okay, I accidentally wrote too much. Although I know I can't continue my story, if it starts so grandly and ends with a sloppy ending, I'm sorry for the logical conception of this article. However, I am too hungry to write, so I will briefly summarize it:

Whether you are a thinking type T who likes to reason, present facts, is good at persuading people with reason, and thinks and makes decisions based on objective reality. , or the emotional type F who likes to talk about empathy, has strong emotions, is good at convincing others with emotion, and thinks and makes decisions based on personal values ??and emotions. They are all born as human beings and are given the best for you. part. Each of us also has rational thinking T and perceptual emotion F. In most cases, what is most natural, habitual and comfortable is to prefer T or F. We should not only look at the external behavioral performance, but also pay attention to the inner psychology. change.

I wish everyone can become what they are, let’s break up~