Selected stock market funny copywriting

1. Stock trading is the same as finding a partner. In the beginning, you choose carefully by yourself, but in the end, it becomes a recommendation from a friend, and most of the ending is that you are cut up and abandoned in embarrassment.

2. The essence of stocks is: to fabricate a person who gets something for nothing, to deceive a group of people who want to get something for nothing, and ultimately to support a group of people who really get something for nothing.

3. Those who jump off the building, please queue up and take your number consciously. The queue for stock trading is on the left and the row for gambling is on the right. Those who trade in stocks and gamble on football should go to the VIP channel.

4. The stock market plummeted. Someone finally collapsed and asked the nurse while lying on the hospital bed: "Love is gone, family affection is gone, friendship is gone, and money is gone. Do I really have nothing?" The nurse She said affectionately: "Look at what you said, aren't you still sick?"

5. I went to the police station to report a missing Mercedes-Benz today. Police: Where was it lost? Answer: The city! Police: Which city? Answer: Stock market police: Get out...get away!

6. A friend said: Do you know why the stock market can’t fall? Because the issuance of new shares in the first half of the year has not yet been completed, once the issuance of new shares in the first half of the year is completed, the stock market will go down.

7. An intern doctor looked at today's stock market and said worriedly: "It fell sharply today. If this continues, we may not have enough beds." The chief doctor smiled slightly and said: "No. If this continues, the only thing that will not be enough is the rooftop.”

8. A: I’m really upset about the recent stock market drop, and my sleep quality has been seriously reduced! How are you? B: Not bad, sleeping like a baby! A: I envy you so much. B: I woke up after sleeping for 1 hour, then cried for 1 hour, then slept for 1 hour again, and cried for 1 hour again when I got up.

9. "When I get my stock back, I will divorce you." He said lightly. After listening, her heart felt warm, and she thought, there is no more lasting promise than this.

10. When looking at stocks, I want to break the computer, watch football, and break the TV. But today, investors dare not break the computer because they will have no money to buy it.

11. The stock market is a very fair place. It can make the rich poor and the poor poorer. It also gives the poor and the rich an equal opportunity to jump off the building. .

12. I started stock trading with 10,000 yuan this year and made a profit of 380,000 yuan in just one month

Ask me how I earned it? I recommended a stock to someone, but it fell to the limit, and someone broke his leg, and the other party paid the compensation.

13. The stock market fell sharply today. A friend asked how the stock situation is? The stock friend replied: "Don't fucking mention it. It's worse than divorce. Half of your assets are lost, but your wife is still there."

14. I have never understood: Why can I, a small retail investor, control the entire stock market? Whenever I buy it, it goes down. When I sell it, it goes up. When I have a short position, the market goes up like crazy, and when I have a full position, the market goes down like crazy. Why are the bookmakers with trillions of dollars in capital staring at my tens of thousands of dollars? Don't want to release the money? Why is this?

15. The wind and rain send the cattle home, and the blizzard welcomes the bears. The stock market is already ice-cold. Which stock is still popular? It's hard to win over beauty, and when you hesitate to sell, only the devil knows when the stock index will bottom out.

16. A few days ago, I advised a friend who wanted to enter the market not to speculate in the stock market. Today, the stock market plummeted. I called him to take credit: "Look, my prediction was right. Has it fallen now?" He said: "What did you say? The storm on the rooftop was so strong that I couldn't hear clearly!"

17. After the market closed today, I heard that a stock investor friend returned home unhappy. As soon as he entered the door, his youngest son happily called him "Dad", and he was furious: "You are not allowed to call 'Fall', you must call 'Parent (increase)'."

18. Provide for everyone A few good ways to cool down: 1. Think about your salary, and feel a little cold;

2. Think about your boyfriend, and feel a little cold;

3. Think Thinking about today's market, it's so cool.

Nineteen. In the past, time was very slow. Cars, cars, letters, everything was very slow. There was only enough time to love one person in a lifetime. One thousand points was enough to fall for one year; now time is very fast, 100. point, fall for one day.

20. Question: Why are A-shares bullish and bearish? Answer: Do you spend a lot of time dreaming or working hard every day?