Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - 20 17 Journey to the West joke
20 17 Journey to the West joke
20 17 Laughing about Journey to the West
1. In the morning, Tang Priest woke up from his dream and found the Monkey King kneeling in front of his bed, so he asked. Wukong, what's wrong with you? The Monkey King said with tears on her face. Master, I beg you, next time you talk in your sleep, don't say a spell, okay?
2. Wukong was exiled to Huaguoshan by Tang Priest because of Monkey King Thrice Defeats the Skeleton Demon. A few months later, Zhu Bajie suddenly visited and cried when he entered the door. Wukong asked? Where is the team? Eight quit to answer? Linfen? Wukong asked again:? But met the devil again? Eight quit to answer? No? Wukong was anxious: Then why are you crying? Bajie is even sadder: Brother, please go home quickly! The master was sold to the black brick kiln, and we searched for it for three months. ?
3. When the Buddhist scriptures team arrived in the poverty-stricken areas, they couldn't lend them out in a few days. Wukong had to send Friar Sand and Bajie to distant cities to find food because he wanted to protect his master. On the first day, everyone returned empty-handed because there was no money. Go the next day, or empty-handed, because there is no money. Wukong was furious: Don't come back until you find something to eat! ? On the third night, Friar Sand happily carried a big bag of rice with a lot of money left. Wukong is overjoyed and asks? Where's Bajie? Friar Sand suddenly cried sadly. Eldest brother, forgive me, there are so many of us, and only the second brother can sell it to 16 yuan for a kilo. ?
4. Four people arrived in a big city, Wukong went to eat, Friar Sand packed his bags, and Bajie went out for a walk. In the evening, Pig returned empty-handed, and the Tang Priest asked? What about white? Bajie said:? Was detained by the traffic police. ? Tang Priest asked why? Bajie said:? It farted. ? The Tang Priest said:? You won't be detained if you fart, will you? Bajie said:? Pol.ice said that Beijing would hold a green Olympics, and the exhaust gas exceeded the standard. ?
When Wukong came back begging, he found that Master had disappeared, and Friar Sand and Bajie were crying on the ground. Wukong asked? Where is Master? Bajie said:? I lost it. ? Wukong said: look for it! ? Friar Sand said, I looked everywhere, but there was nothing. ? Wukong looked around again, but still couldn't find it. Three people were worried when Wukong suddenly asked, Did Master pay the mortgage this month? Friar Sand said, No? Have you paid the road maintenance fee? No? Wukong said: wash and sleep, master, there are banks and traffic police watching! ?
6. The Tang Priest and his disciples passed through the Lion Camel Ridge, and the lion spirit caught Tang Priest. Wukong took great pains and finally defeated the lion essence. Just as he was about to be killed, Manjusri Bodhisattva suddenly came, saying that it was his mount and took the lion essence and roared off. Wukong cursed. Pig advised: Come on, big brother, I'm a leading driver and a civil servant. ?
7. When the Tang Priest and his disciples arrived at the West Gate, they saw 500 arhats coming out with their luggage on their backs. Why do they ask? The arhats sighed and said, you don't know, in a few days, the new Labor Law will be implemented, and all of us temporary workers are laid off. ? Tang Priest asked? Where is the Bodhisattva? Lohan said:? They have a hard time, too In order to avoid the new labor law, Xitian forced them to sign a contract with XX Company, and later a third-party company sent them to work in Xitian. ?
8. Tang Priest and others learned from the scriptures and made meritorious deeds, and were named Buddha. Several people happily went to the Western Heaven to look for a house, and returned disappointed a few days later. The Tang Priest said:? Let's go home, children. The house price in the West is so high that we can't even afford the down payment. ? Friar Sand said, Haven't you heard of affordable housing? Why don't we ask Wukong, silly brother, who doesn't have a few relatives, big and small leaders of the Western Heaven? Can it be our turn?
Bajie has been moping these days, staring at the moon in a daze at night. Wukong knew what was on his mind. He went to the Moon Palace at the weekend and came back to say to Bajie. Silly brother! I asked, China has launched a satellite and hasn't put a man on the moon yet. A machine, why are you jealous! ?
10. The Tang Priest took the scriptures and went behind Li See Shimin's back. The Tang Priest said:? Dude, I'm back. ? Li Shimin:? Oh? The Tang Priest said:? I see. ? Li Shimin said? Oh, put it there. ? The Tang Priest said:? Brother, I have spent more than ten years working hard to do such a big thing. Why are you unhappy? Do you think my travel expenses are high? Li Shimin took off her headphones and said? Your scripture, I stayed with lightning for an hour. What would I ask you to do if I knew that computers were so powerful? ?
20 17 the most popular journey to the west
1. A large group of goblins rushed into the cave with Tang Priest tied into zongzi on their backs and shouted:? Your majesty! Your majesty! We finally caught the Tang Priest! ? The old demon woke up from his sleep, looked up and said listlessly, Send it back. ? The goblin asked strangely why. The old demon said:? The newspaper said that the Tang monk meat contained carcinogens. ? 2. Pig Bajie became a particularly handsome young man after he got the Buddhist scriptures, and then he went to a bar to drink with a young lady. When he came out, he said to the young lady: Do you know that?/You know what? Do you know that?/You know what? Do you know how many cigarettes I used to smoke I used to be a pig, you know? The girl looked at him with tears and said, second brother, I'm Friar Sand! ?
3. Four priests Tang went to travel by plane, and the plane crashed on the way, but there were only three parachutes, so Father Tang said that everyone should answer the questions and jump if they couldn't answer them. Tang Priest: Wukong, how many suns are there in the sky? Wukong: One. Tang Priest: OK, here you are. Tang Priest: Friar Sand, how many moons are there in the sky? Friar Sand: One. Tang Priest: OK, I'll give you one, too. Bajie on the side is so happy, such a simple question. Tang Priest: Bajie, how many stars are there in the sky? Bajie jumped. Soon, the four of them flew to travel again. There was another plane crash on the way, and there were still only three parachutes. They went on answering questions. Tang Priest: Wukong, when was People's Republic of China (PRC) founded? Wukong: 1949. Tang Priest: OK. Give you one. Tang Priest: Friar Sand, how many people died in the Liberation War? Friar Sand: 2.5 million people. Tang Priest: OK, I'll give you one, too. Tang Priest: Bajie, what are the names of those 2.5 million people? Bajie had to jump again. The third time, the four of them went to travel by plane again and had an accident on the way. Then Pig said, Master, you don't have to ask. I jump by myself. Then jump. Tang Priest put his hands together: Amitabha, there are four parachutes this time.
4. Wukong came back begging and found that Master had disappeared, and Friar Sand and Bajie were crying on the ground.
Wukong asked master? Bajie said he lost it.
Wukong said to find it! Friar Sand said that he had looked everywhere, but there was no one.
Wukong looked around again, but still couldn't find it. A few people are worried.
Suddenly Wukong asked Master if the mortgage had been paid this month. Friar Sand said no. Have you paid the road maintenance fee? Friar Sand said no. .
Wukong said to wash and sleep, master can't escape, and there are banks and traffic police!
5. The Tang Priest and his disciples passed through the Lion Camel Ridge, and the lion spirit caught Tang Priest. Wukong tried his best to defeat the lion spirit and was about to kill him.
Suddenly Manjusri Bodhisattva came, saying that the lion spirit was his mount and left with it.
Wukong cursed. Bajie advised him: Forget it, big brother. I am a leading driver and a civil servant.
6. When the Tang Priest and his disciples arrived at the West Gate, they saw 500 arhats coming out with their luggage on their backs. Why do they ask?
The arhats sighed and said, you don't know, in a few days, the new labor law will be implemented, and we temporary workers are all laid off.
Tang Priest asked the Bodhisattvas? Lohan said they had a hard time. In order to avoid the new labor law, they were forced to sign a contract with the company, and then they were sent to work in the west by a third-party company. ......
7. Tang Priest and others learned from the scriptures and made meritorious deeds, and were named Buddha and Bodhisattva. Several people happily went to various places in the Western Heaven to find a house. A few days later, they came back disappointed. Tang Priest said it was time for our brothers to go home, because the house price in the West was too high, and we couldn't even afford the down payment.
Didn't Friar Sand say that I had heard of affordable housing? Why don't we ask
Wukong said silly brother, the leader of the Western Heaven, who doesn't have a few relatives? Can it be our turn?
Bajie has been moping for the last few days, staring at the moon in a daze at night. Wukong knew what was on his mind and arrived at the weekend.
I visited the Moon Palace.
When he came back, he said to Pig, "Silly brother! I asked, China has launched a satellite and hasn't put a man on the moon yet. It is a machine. Why are you jealous? "
9. The Tang Priest took the scriptures on the spot and went to see Li See Shimin. Tang Priest said I was back. Li Shimin said, Oh, the Tang Priest said I took the scriptures. Li Shimin said, Oh, put it there.
The Tang Priest said, Brother, I have worked hard for several years and done such a big thing. Why are you unhappy? Do you think my travel expenses are high?
Li Shimin took off her earphone and said, I downloaded your scripture in one day with BT. I knew computers were so powerful. Why did I ask you to go?
10. The Tang Priest and his disciples passed the Lion Tuoling, and the Lion Spirit caught Tang Priest. Wukong tried his best to defeat the lion spirit and was about to kill him. Suddenly Manjusri Bodhisattva came and said that the Lion Spirit was his mount and took him away. Wukong cursed him. Bajie advised him: Forget it, big brother, he is a leading driver and a civil servant.
20 17 the most famous journey to the west
1. Wukong! You are Po Hou! Thanks to your mother and uncle, otherwise I'll see how the teacher scolds you! How many fucking times have I told you, but after the banshee catches me, wait for my signal, wait for my signal to save me! Don't giggle! You look at the teacher, and you are scared every time you suddenly break in. How many times have you been a teacher? I'm afraid I can't afford them anymore. What a pity! Wukong loves his disciples. Look at the teacher's tears and swear it won't happen again, okay?
2. Guanyin Bodhisattva, please cancel all accounts of Black Bear Monster, Green Lion Monster and Yellow Eyebrow Old Demon. We can't afford it, damn it. You sent us to deal with Tang Priest and his disciples, but you raised their level to such a high level. How to fight? The Monkey King, in particular, has high attribute points and summoning skills. The most irritating thing is that physical attacks are invalid, fire attacks are immune, and magic attacks are immune? Don't say that we are alone, and we can't beat a team! Forget it, I got off, 88.
3. Bajie! You idiot! It's already ten miles, so you can't change a song to hum! Keep singing "Blessing" and watch Master cry!
4. Amitabha, don't talk nonsense. Patriarch, you are indeed the most beautiful and sexy woman I have ever seen since I traveled east. Look at your hair, hands, skin and feel.
5. Donor, I am from the Eastern Tang Dynasty. Can you stay here for one night? Hey? Donors? Donor, would you please open the door? Cao!
6. Empress, I'm Sanzang. We have arrived in the lion camel country, missing you and kissing you. If you don't reply to text messages, it's inconvenient for your apprentice to be here.
7. You Po Hou, you are so disrespectful. Why do you look sexy in front of spider elves in a leopard apron? Why steal the limelight for the teacher? Shut up! I don't care if you are leopard print or tiger skin! Do you still know who you are? You were released. What are you pretending to be in front of me? Look, you dyed your yellow hair and held a steel pipe. Are you pretending to be a gangster? Me, mom? Hehe, Amitabha is kind-hearted. As a teacher, I am a little rude.
8. Wukong, let Bajie go into the water to catch carp essence. You are not good at swimming. If you drown, how can you afford this salvage fee for your teacher? Oh, no, no, it doesn't matter to Bajie. He will float on his own.
9. Bajie, Wukong is not here. Go and make some vegetarian food. Jason Wu, you drink the horses first. ? Bajie, Bajie, come here. Remember! Just go to the house we passed just now, yes, the one where the village woman took care of the children. After smelling the fragrance, I am making sauce elbows, which are very fragrant! Go ahead, just a mother and son, give or rob! Go back!
10. Monkey, did you propose to the fairy Xia Zi with this ring? You are so funny! You don't have a half carat diamond, so no one cares about you! When Chang 'e was so ashamed of me, she said, Don't tell me if you love me or not. Look at the size of the diamond ring first! Alas, how realistic the little fairy is now. Alas, I tell you, with this ticket fairy, you will shoot her to death with a diamond brick, and she didn't even call for help!
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