Principal, a candidate votes jokes.

1. When I was a child, I ate dishonestly. In order to educate me, an old farmer said to me, "Sixty years of hard work. I have no food, and I never spit out my nose. "

Second, there is a rich man looking for a servant. The topic of the interview is going to the toilet. The first few came out without washing their hands. So the rich sent them away. Only one person washed his hands, so the rich man left him. But one day, the rich man found that he didn't wash his hands when he came out. The rich man asked him why. The servant replied, "I brought toilet paper today ..."

A man saw a big sale in a shop and went in. "What do you want?" "I want to buy dog food." "We have a rule that you must prove that you have a dog."

"Where is such a rule?" "This is the case with goods on sale." The man has been grinding with the salesman for a long time, but the salesman still refuses to sell it to him.

No way, the man had to go home and bring the dog before buying dog food. A few days later, the man went to this store to buy cat food.

"Give me two boxes of cat food." "We have a rule that you must prove that you have a cat." It was the same shop assistant, and the man dawdled with her for a long time.

I still have to go home and take the cat to buy cat food. A few days later, the man came to the shop with a big cardboard box with a hole in it and found the salesman.

"What do you want?" "Just put your hand in and you'll know." The salesman put his hand in: "What is it? Very sticky. " "I want to buy two rolls of toilet paper."

A man and a friend went to visit his grandmother. When he was talking to his grandmother, his friends began to eat the flowers on the coffee table and all the peanuts.

When they left, his friend said to his grandmother, "Thank you for the peanuts." Grandma replied, "Oh! Hmm! Alas! As my teeth have lost light, I can only suck out their outer layers.

Only chocolate. Old, cough. . .

Some people like the dish "spicy vermicelli pot" very much. Once, he went to a restaurant and ordered this dish again. But the waiter told him that the dish was sold out. "Really sold out?

"He asked in disappointment." Sir, it's really sold out. You see, the last one was sold to the gentleman at that table. "The waiter replied. The man followed the waiter's instructions and saw a decent one.

This gentleman is sitting next to him. The gentleman's food has been eaten almost, but the "spicy vermicelli pot" is still full. The man thought that a gentleman wasted delicious food, so he went to the gentleman.

Pointing to the "spicy vermicelli pot", he politely asked, "Do you want more, sir?" The gentleman shook his head gracefully. So the man immediately sat down and picked up a spoon.

Wolf down. After a while, he swallowed half. Suddenly, he found a little mouse lying at the bottom of the casserole with all its hair. a rush of nausea

The man vomited all the fans he had eaten back into the casserole. When he had a stomachache there, the gentleman looked at him sympathetically and said, "It's disgusting, isn't it?"

I'm like this ... "

6. On this day, the hotel owner is patrolling the lobby. A beggar came forward and said, "Can the boss give me a toothpick?" The boss gave him one and sent it away. After a while, another beggar came.

And asked for toothpicks. The boss thought, why do beggars want toothpicks instead of rice now? I gave him one and sent it away. Soon, another beggar came. The boss said to him

"Are you here to buy toothpicks too?" The beggar said, "Someone threw up and I came late. The first two beggars ate everything they could, and now there is only soup left. "

Can you give me a straw?

Seven, boss, the second flight, the second airsickness, vomiting. A bag is full, so the boss has to get it. When he came back, he found that the whole plane was vomiting. The boss asked why.

The second child said, "I think this bag is full, so I have to drink another half bag and throw up."

If you haven't spit it out, I have to admit that you are a master, so I will do my best-

One day, the eldest brother and the second brother went to the theater to see the play again. When they saw that they were in the middle of an argument about the plot development, they made a bet. The boss pointed to a row of spittoons in front of him and said

"Losers need a taste of what's there." Unfortunately, the boss lost and took a sip with a frown. The two went on to bet on the next plot. This time, the second child lost.

I saw the second child pick up the spittoon and swallow fifteen mouthfuls in one gulp. Surprised and envious, the boss said to the second child, "You are so amazing that you can even drink fifteen mouthfuls!" " "The second one shook his head." No, I want to drink. The sputum in that spittoon is too thick. I really can't stop biting! " "