2020 classic funny remarks, heartless, can live for a hundred years.

1, life is like a play, one is in love, the other is married and has children. This is normal.

2, the left eye jumps, the peach blossoms open, the right eye jumps, and the chrysanthemums open.

How can you say that he is crazy? Only if you have a brain.

4, three cobblers, smelly Zhuge Liang.

5. I am Zeng Ge. I told you a letter. I believe me.

6. Opportunities rained down on me. But I dodged.

7. Smart people know how to speak, smart people know how to listen, and smart people know how to ask questions. -Who has the highest IQ?

8. Death is undoubtedly painful; What is more painful than death is waiting for death. Thinking is better than action.

9. Be sure to hold the ladder steady when you climb up, or you may fall down when you come down. -Langsdon principle.

10. Being an official should be "triple", one is "boasting", the other is "difficult" and the third is "frightening". -It's not easy.

1 1, the east is the education of "sheep" to cultivate people who are resigned to their fate; The west is a "wolf-like" education, which cultivates people with individuality. -Two kinds of education

12. Only after a long queue can we truly realize that we are "descendants of the dragon". -Instantaneous feelings about life

13, a woman marries a man in the hope that this man will change, but he won't; A man marries a woman in the hope that she won't change, but she often does. -Common rules for men and women

14. Those who work in public institutions are called "iron rice bowls" and those who work in private enterprises are called "disposable tableware". -the "rice bowl theory" of work

15, heartless, can live a hundred years; Have a clear conscience and never get tired of life. -Han Meilin's philosophy of life.

16, experienced people read books with two eyes, one eye sees the words on the paper and the other eye sees the back of the paper. -Goethe

17, no initiative, no refusal, no commitment. -new "three noes" people

18. To build a socialist oral society, we should start with the words "thank you", "sorry" and "please forgive me". -building a harmonious society should start with "small things"

19, there are two kinds of conversations that are most annoying: never stop to think, or never want to stop. Think less, think more, and speak slowly

20, the official has a pair of chopsticks, the people are in trouble. -Grassroots officials are extremely bloated.

2 1, forgetting to put on makeup when going out, the best remedy is to smile. True colors are also a kind of beauty.

22. I often think that the people who take tonic and lose weight are the same people? This is how we trouble ourselves and fall into the trap created by businessmen. -Lin Qingxuan

23. Destroy first, then protect; Pollution first, then treatment; Consume first, then save; Cut down the forest first, then plant trees. -detours in development

24. Happiness is scratching when it itches. Unfortunately, it itches but I can't catch it. More unfortunately, for a long time, neither the soul nor the body felt itchy. For some people, happiness is out of reach.

25. Go to the hotel less to ensure sleep; Quit smoking and exercise every day; Stay away from abnormal love and have no distractions. -Health slogan of health experts

2020 ruthless and funny talk

1. Report to the teacher, can you finish the class first? Because my wife is hungry. That day, I was moved by this sentence.

2. Teacher, I finished writing in winter vacation homework, but you have to scan the QR code I drew to receive it.

3. If your friend is gone, you can find him again; If the brother is gone, you can do it again; When the heart is gone, people are ruined.

On Valentine's Day, a MM called him: Come to my house, no one! He ran away with excitement! I knocked on the door for more than an hour and found that there was really no one.

5. Why didn't you answer the phone? ! The ringtone is so beautiful that I can't bear to answer it.

Today, a group of Japanese came to visit our school. To tell the truth, this is the first time I've seen a Japanese wearing clothes!

7. Say to the fat man: In the eyes of eating goods, you will always be just a piece of meat.

8. I especially like the teacher digressing in class, suddenly chatting all over the floor, then chatting away, and then class is over.

9. When buying watermelons, 100% people will knock watermelons and most of them don't know how to knock there.

10. I think the square dance aunt should hold an electric mosquito swatter and harm people while exercising.

1 1. Senior three math teachers give lectures at 4G speed, senior students attend lectures at wifi speed, senior students remember at 3G speed, and senior students watch at 2G speed.

12. Come on, is the game important to me? I dare to play games without hitting you, don't you think?

13. This is the third day and the last year. If you confess, that's good. Forget it if you don't confess.

14. Don't work hard, at least now you can use laziness as an excuse.

15. The difficulty of marriage lies in whether we fall in love with each other's advantages or live with each other's shortcomings.

16. Some people, the exam depends on strength, some people, the exam depends on vision, and I, the exam depends on imagination.

17. If you care too much about other people's ideas, then your life is like a pair of underwear, and you have to go on with whatever others fart.

18. For girls, what is more terrible than being fat 10 kg is that their girlfriends have lost 5 kg.

19. Every time I weigh myself, I comfort myself that there is too much ink in my stomach.

20. Some people say that it is easy to have a car accident when you walk and play with your mobile phone. Scared me to play while running.

2 1. You should eat enough, go to bed early, and don't stay up because you are ugly.

22. Every time I look in the mirror, I have an impulse to smash it. I am so handsome, there can only be one in the world.

23. Don't envy me for not having homework during the holiday. Do you know how tired I am to wear, eat and play every day?

24. As soon as I did my homework, I found the desk fun, the pen fun and the nails fun.

Every time you get angry with your daughter-in-law, you must calm down, take a deep breath and tell yourself: I chose, I deserved it, I chose, I deserved it.

26. In summer, I thanked two people: an American named Willis Kelly, who invented air conditioning. Another China man named Hou Yi killed nine suns.

27. I played with mosquitoes all night yesterday and was finally tied. It's not full, and I haven't slept well.

It is said that 90% of boys like to touch girls' heads, and 80% of girls touch boys' heads to touch their sons.

When I was a child, my dream was to be a hero. When I grow up, I didn't expect it to be easily realized in an internet cafe, and there are still many choices.

30. I heard that people who have been typing typos have higher IQ, because their IQ is too high, so their hands can't keep up with the rhythm of brain operation.

3 1. Junior high school friends have become goddesses, and they have all taken off their orders. It's just that I'm getting farther and farther on the road of ridicule.

32. My friend said that my stomach was black. I decisively lifted my coat and pointed to his snow-white belly. It's white.

33. I will study hard in July, make progress every day, and never play mobile phones or fall in love again. If not, I'll send it in August.

34. While eating, the electricity was cut off. I quickly ate two mouthfuls of rice, and suddenly the light came on. I exclaimed: Is this the legendary lesbian who shines?

35. Walking alone at night, it is particularly dark around, and I am handsome and afraid that others will not see me.

36. I want to go to the movies with my boyfriend recently. Please recommend me. Do you have a good boyfriend?

37. If God closes a door for me, please close the window conveniently. Dad is going to turn on the air conditioner.

38. I think the square dance aunt should hold an electric mosquito swatter and do harm to the people while exercising.

39. Is League of Legends important or me? I dare to play League of Legends, not you. Who do you think is important?

40. Since the final exam, my status at home has changed from a first-class protected animal to a wild animal, and my baby is in pain.

Heartless personality signature, heartless, not tired of living.

1. The only thing I can let go of is the following nine words: eat, sleep and laugh.

People who attach great importance to feelings will not have a good life after all. Trust, dependence, nostalgia, minutes will abuse you beyond redemption.

I wonder if heartless people will live long. However, it is true that heartless people are not tired.

4. Learn to be ruthless, never get to the bottom of everything, and never try easily. Because in this mask-ridden world, hypocrisy is always rampant, and it is always normal to take part in accidental amusement. It is not necessary to see everything so clearly.

Don't be too sensitive and think too much, or you will hurt yourself.

6. Sometimes, less muscle is better than more worry. Without heart and lungs, you can live without being tired!

7. Sometimes you feel tired because you think too much. People who think too much live a hard life because they are too easily influenced by other people's emotions.

8. Paranoid people are always thinking, and the result is that they are trapped in a mess of emotions and can't move. If the heart is simple, the world will be simple and happiness will grow; If you have a free heart, you will live freely and be happy everywhere.

9. If the heart doesn't move, what does wind energy do? If you don't get hurt, the years will be fine.

10. Every heartless present has a painful past.

1 1. No matter who you are with, friends or strangers, learn to smile even when you are sad.

12. It is better to enjoy a heartless life than to be tired.

13. Live a carefree life with a willing attitude.

14. Softness is a disease. It always makes you forgive others and then gives others a chance to hurt themselves.

15. I'd rather let others think I'm happy and heartless than look miserable.

16. Sunrise in the East China Sea and setting in the West Mountain is also a day of sadness and joy; People are comfortable when they are not entangled in things.

17. Many times, if you look too deep, you will be unhappy. It's better to be naive and heartless.

18. There are too many imperfections in life. Accept it calmly, lose it indifferently, and let nature take its course.

19. Sometimes I really want to be a puppet. In this way, you can live mercilessly.

20. I didn't know until I grew up, "Try not to disturb others, and others had better not bother me." This sentence is not indifference, but maturity.

Talk about it mercilessly

Talk about it mercilessly

First, life never knows what will happen in the next second, so we should have a better attitude. To put it bluntly, it is heartless. It's no use thinking so much. Even if you think deeply, it is a burden to yourself.

Second, there is nothing to miss, because you don't deserve it! What I care about is the original relationship, and what I care about is your heartless love in high school. Now, I just think you are disgusting, dirty, really dirty!

Third, if you have passed the heartless age, please keep working hard for yourself.

I was very sad yesterday. I need to change my heartlessness and carelessness. In addition, the understanding of friends has also risen to a level. The person you were talking to is not a real friend. The people who help you through difficulties and hardships are the people you should cherish in your life. Thank you for letting me know in advance that our relationship is not as close as I thought. I was very unhappy yesterday, but I feel relieved today.

5. Call me occasionally. Your sudden appearance will still stir my heart. However, I also learned to pretend to you, neither cold nor hot, neither salty nor light, and smile mercilessly. I won't shed those cheap tears again. Then listen to you whisper: you have changed. Yes, I've changed. I will never love anyone, not even you.

Everyone who knows me knows that I don't like to keep things in my heart, especially when I am wronged. I have to take it out of my chest, but I believe you will say it. How can you use my trust in you to do something that hurts me? In the end, I became a bad person, and I think things that I don't think can also be a tool for your struggle. I am ignorant. I just want to live in an indisputable world and be a carefree and heartless person.

Seven, so a heartless person meets a heartless person and ends up with injuries all over. That I even began to suspect that everything before was false.

Eight, ruthless, naive these advantages suddenly make me feel very strange, because I understand it wrong? No matter how good it is to a heartless person, she can't feel it because she has no heart.

I'd rather be seen as heartless than pitied. When you are sad, squat down and hug yourself, forgive others and let go of yourself. When you are sad, look up at the sky. It is big enough to tolerate all your grievances.

10. It will be much easier to treat people and things with affection and heart and learn to adjust your mentality when you are heartless!

Eleven, many times, watching too much unhappy, it is better to be naive and heartless.

Your face is light, and no one knows how tight your teeth are. You walk with the wind, and no one knows that there are bruises on your fallen knees. You smile mercilessly, and no one knows that you can only cry silently. To make people feel effortless, they can only work extremely hard behind their backs. People are either vulgar or lonely, thank you.

Thirteen, always clamoring for a person, but never take the initiative to hook up. People who don't like it are too lazy to accept the pursuit of others. It's not that short, but I still refuse to be wronged Sometimes it feels good to be single, and I often envy others for being in pairs. Sometimes I feel that being single can be heartless and take it for granted.

Fourteen, I admire Li Wuyi's ruthlessness and drowsiness, plus this soft body that is very yoga without practice!

Fifteen, don't dig for others' hearts too easily, because in the end you can only leave a heartless one.

16. I had a strange dream all night and forgot when I couldn't tell the difference between dream and reality. The quality of sleep began to deteriorate four or five years ago. Suddenly waking up can cause severe palpitations, and the heart seems to rush out of the chest. I always say that I am not tired without heart, but how can I really get rid of everything? What can I do if I am not an independent individual?

Seventeen years old, at my age, I should laugh with my classmates and friends at school or travel around, instead of being miserable every day as I am now.

A heartless person is innocent when he smiles, but it will also hurt people silently.

Nineteen, there is a relationship called ex-boyfriend. Usually it is better to beat and scold her ex-boyfriend. People, it is better to live mercilessly.

Twenty, think back to the past days, that heartless and careless self. Maybe you let me really start to understand myself.

Twenty-one, and I will graduate soon. I remember being heartless when I graduated, and time passed quickly.

Twenty-two, if one day, I become heartless. Please remember that I used to be kind. If one day, I become indifferent. Please remember, I used to be indifferent. If one day, I don't care about anything Please remember that no one has ever cared about me.

23. I have always been a heartless person, so I always forget what anyone said as soon as I turn around, but if you touch my bottom line, I will remember it, and I will remember it firmly.

Twenty-four, time flies, I have been infected for nearly seven years, and I have never sent any Weibo about this disease. I only sent some heartless ones without oil or salt, and I didn't often go to school. I don't like to divide the size, my friends and classmates are here. After an oversight, I cleared it all for safety reasons, and I won't have too much scruples in the future. This morning's episode made me want to write something, so I can use this article to make a review of these years.

25. Why can't I forget it no matter how much I want to? If only I could be so heartless, I find the feeling of having nightmares every day.

Twenty-six, heartless, can live not tired! Well, it's like this! It's none of your business. Hang high!

Twenty-seven, sometimes I am not happy when I watch too much. It is better to be naive and heartless. Maybe I am too nostalgic, and the passerby of life might as well shrink back with a smile.

Twenty-eight years old, more and more heartless, feeling that I can sleep well after the war.

I am a heartless and naive person, and a serious fool.

On the one hand, we lack self-confidence, on the other hand, we are disappointed in ourselves. It's not that I don't know the situation, and I'm not heartless. My heart is about to explode.

Don't let your carelessness be regarded as infinite by others.

32. Why do you let him affect your mood so much? He doesn't care about you. From now on, you are no longer the heartless fool who believes everything except what you see with your own eyes. It turns out that being forced to grow up is like this!

Thirty-three, how many times do you have to go through to calm down? Talking too much about heartless laughter is easy to realize, but how can heartless face be easily realized? Look at the clouds, the wind is clear, the clouds are rolling and the clouds are comfortable. Facing the sea, a hundred flowers blossom. Look at the flowers blooming in the courtyard, I won't bother you. All the interruptions are just a little special thing that my uncontrollable little mind does.

34. Nice to meet you. I hope those of us who are busy with work and don't contact often will be as good and heartless as they are now.

35. The most romantic thing I can think of is that a person grows old mercilessly.

Thirty-six, you call me so cold and heartless? Or are you preoccupied and full of thoughts? The point is, there is so much cold around you!

I have never had the habit of taking pictures as a souvenir, looking through other people's photo albums full of memories and youth. I have nothing, so I forgot what I should delete and forgot, so I am a heartless person.

Thirty-eight, like a heartless child, with so much blood on his feet, you still come with me stupidly! I really didn't know it was hurt if it wasn't under the street lamp.

In fact, sometimes not everyone likes you, and don't force everyone to like you. Whether you like you or not, you are still yourself. Don't be influenced by others, just be yourself mercilessly. Everyone knows this, but not everyone can be so calm, and neither can I.

Forty, I am not happy if you are not happy! I will be sad when you are sad! But when you are happy, even if I am full of sadness, I still want to sunbathe! Silly girl, remember that I hope you live a heartless life!