Asking for jokes and serializing stories

Four priests Tang traveled by plane. The plane crashed on the way, but there were only three parachutes.

So, the Tang Priest said, let's answer the question, and jump if we can't answer it.

Tang Priest: Wukong, how many suns are there in the sky?

Wukong: One.

Tang Priest: OK, here you are.

Tang Priest: Friar Sand, how many moons are there in the sky?

Friar Sand: One.

Tang Priest: OK, I'll give you one, too.

Bajie on the side is so happy, such a simple question.

Tang Priest: Bajie, how many stars are there in the sky?

……

Bajie jumped directly.

Soon, the four of them flew to travel again. There was another plane crash on the way, and there were still only three parachutes.

They went on answering questions.

Tang Priest: Wukong, when was People's Republic of China (PRC) founded?

Wukong: 1949.

Tang Priest: Good. Give you one.

Tang Priest: Friar Sand, how many people died in the reform and opening-up war?

Friar Sand: 2.5 million people.

Tang Priest: OK, I'll give you one, too.

Tang Priest: Bajie, what are the names of those 2.5 million people?

..... Bajie had to jump directly.

The third time, the four of them went to travel by plane again and had an accident on the way.

Then Pig said, Master, you don't have to ask. I jump by myself.

Then jump.

Tang Priest put his hands together: Amitabha, this time there are four parachutes ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~.

According to legend, a long time ago, the Tang priest went to learn from the scriptures with several disciples. It is said that one day, four disciples came to the daughter country.

King of Daughter Country: "Brother Tang Priest, please come with me!"

Tang Priest: "No! I am a Taoist. How can I do such a thing? " (steals a gulp of saliva)

King of Daughter Country: "What about your disciple?"

Tang Priest: "Well, as long as they are willing, I will never stop them."

King of the daughter country: "Good! Prime Minister, go and call some disciples of Elder Tang. "

(Several disciples come to the main hall)

People ask, "I wonder what the king and master want from us?"

Tang Priest: "The Queen wants to find a husband among you. What do you think? "

The Monkey King (jumping out first): "Master, my apprentice was crushed to death by Wuzhishan. Fortunately, I was saved by the master. I should have been wholeheartedly escorting Master to the Western Heaven to learn Buddhist scriptures, but I made trouble in the Heavenly Palace and scolded Tathagata. Even if I go to the Western Heaven, the Tathagata will definitely give me hard shoes. It's only a matter of time before I get fired. I might as well stay here. "

"Master," said Friar Sand, "Jason Wu used to be a general in rolling shutters, but after graduating from college, it's no problem to work in the Western Heaven. But now it's popular to do business in the sea. I studied fish farming in Liushahe for several years, and my daughter country is rich in water resources. I want to set up a fish farm in Zimu River to help my daughter country get rid of poverty as soon as possible, which is also called for by the corresponding countries! "

"Master," Pig said, "the old pig is willing to escort Master westward, although he is incompetent. . . However, carrying water for cooking and fertilizing the fields every day, such a heavy job, must be pressed on these weak shoulders. Master, do you have the heart? Is it true that monks pay attention to compassion? Although you can become a Buddha in the Western Heaven and have a house, what is it as long as you can share the worries for these poor women? If I don't go to hell, who will! Let me stay!

(The female officials in the audience are crying.)

Friar Sand and the Monkey King thought: TNND! When did this idiot become so talkative?

Tang Priest: "I am embarrassed about this. All three of you have a chance to woo the queen. Whoever it is depends on your luck. "

The Monkey King: "I can change 72 times. I can ride a somersault cloud, make trouble in heaven, and fight Buddha. Strong body, never drink Huiren Shenbao. You follow me to somersault. Traveling to Europe and America, you don't have to buy a plane ticket, even your passport is saved! Hey, hey, are you tempted? "

King of Daughter Country: "Can you surf the Internet?"

The Monkey King: "Go online! I fell on the spider web when I was in the silk cave, and two sticks smashed the web, haha! "

King of Daughter Country: "Next!"

The Monkey King: "I am a national champion in boxing, cudgel and Sanda, and I have a double master's degree in raising horses and cultivating peaches. . . "

King of Daughter Country: "Next!"

Author: Cong Toulai replied to this speech on May-1016: 59, 2009.

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5 Reply: Jokes about Journey to the West

Friar Sand thinks that although I have a clever mouth, I was lucky enough to read a love book, A Chinese Odyssey, the day before yesterday. Hey, hey, hey, something special. So he stood in the middle of the hall with his hands open. . . Friar Sand sang: Only you, the love in my heart! Only you, let me forget to learn! Only you are the love in my heart! Only you ......

King of the daughter country: "Oh, you are a big man! Next! "

Friar Sand: "No! Please! "

King of the daughter country: "Good! Give you another chance, why do you love me? "

Friar Sand (exulting in my heart: Here comes the opportunity, I have recited this classic dialogue N times): "Do you need a reason to love someone?" Need it? Need it? Need it? Need it? "

Daughter country: "disorderly stick out!"

(Friar Sand hears vaguely in the disorderly stick: Our two-year-old children can recite these words! )

(the Monkey King watches Friar Sand being beaten out, then takes a look at Pig's nose and thinks: It's me this time? )

Bajie (walking slowly to the center of the hall, his face full of vicissitudes) slowly read: "Forget it, Internet. Moonlight night, short matsuoka. Next to the computer, I am getting dressed. Relatively quiet, only the keyboard is busy. Remember, Zhu Jun Lang. Raise your glass and sing in a low voice. On heroes, laugh at the vicissitudes of life, meet each other and hate each other, only the family is long. "

Suddenly screaming all over the house. The queen brightened at the moment and was about to speak. . .

Pig: "so far, I have nothing to hide." I am the CEO of Bajie. The company will be listed in the United States in three months. . . "

Suddenly screaming like thunder, 200 beautiful women fainted on the spot, and the rest of you MM took out paper and pens and rushed to Bajie. . . The queen spent 0.0 1 second worshipping heaven and earth with Bajie, and went straight to the bridal chamber ... and then the Tang Priest and others went to the Western Heaven to learn Buddhist scriptures.

It is said that Tang Sanzang wants to learn from the West. On the way, I met a monkey that was crushed under Wuzhishan.

The monkey said, "You saved me, and I will protect you from going to the Western Heaven for Buddhist scriptures. 』

Sanzang sighed, "Soil and water conservation is so poor now. Before the typhoon came, the landslide and even the monkeys were crushed. "

Call ... "Shook his head and walked away. Wukong was crushed into a fist and said, "Come back, dead old man! 』。

First, the Tang priest met the monster, so he quickly read the iron ring.

Unexpectedly, a voice came from the sky at this moment, "The subscriber you dialed is not in service area, please redial later".

Wukong got up early in the morning and saw Tang Priest still sitting in front of the computer, banging on the keyboard. Master! Our telephone bill has been overspent this month! Wukong, do you want to pay the phone bill for the teacher?

If you want to, just say it! Although you look at me sincerely, how can you know if you don't talk about being a teacher? I won't know until you tell me! Wukong, do you really have to pay the phone bill to the master?

I saw Wukong lying beside the toilet, vomiting wildly. Tang Priest kept banging on the keyboard. Sister Guanyin, please come out and talk to me! Although you ignored me all night, you must have seen what I said. Tell me if you saw it.

Guanyin can't bear it: Tang Priest, I still don't believe people who say you are annoying. It's fucking annoying for you to see it today! I told you to get western classics. Why do you stay here and surf the Internet?

Sister, the thing is, the white dragon you gave me is fat and lazy. It eats more than me every day. Why don't you give me a Mercedes or Ferrari?

And Wukong's hoop, the signal is really poor. Once Wukong helped me buy a ticket for May's concert, and I met a monster. I recited the hoop mantra more than ten times before Wukong received it.

At this moment, I saw Guanyin at the other end of the computer foaming at the mouth and dying!

It is said that when the master and his party came to Flame Mountain, they would borrow an exposure fan from Princess Iron Fan.

Princess Iron Fan said, "I can borrow a fan, but let me be satisfied first."

After discussion between master and apprentice, Pig Bajie is the best color. Let him go, as it should. So Pig Bajie and Princess Iron Fan went to the room. ...

Three minutes later, the pig came out.

Pig Bajie: "Master, I can't ..."

Tang Priest: "Sha Wujing, you try."

Sha Wujing: "Yes."

Five minutes later, Sha Wujing also came out.

Sha Wujing: "Master, I can't ..."

Tang Priest: "Wukong, go!"

1. A large group of goblins, carrying the Tang Priest tied into zongzi, rushed into the cave and shouted, "Your Majesty! Your majesty! We finally caught the Tang Priest! "

The old demon woke up from his sleep, looked up and said listlessly, "Send it back."

The goblin asked strangely why. The old demon said, "The newspaper says that the Tang monk meat contains carcinogens ..."

2. Wukong was exiled to Huaguoshan by Tang Priest because of Monkey King Thrice Defeats the Skeleton Demon. A few months later, Zhu Bajie suddenly visited and cried when he entered the door.

Wukong asked, "Where is the parade?" "Shanxi," Pig said. Wukong asked again, "But he met a demon again.

How are you? "No," Pig said. Wukong said urgently, "Then why are you crying?" Pig was even sadder: "Big Brother! Go home quickly! The owner was sold to a black brick kiln, and we have been looking for it for three months ... "

The Buddhist scripture team went to the poor mountainous area and could not eat for several days. Because Wukong wanted to protect his master, he had to send Friar Sand and Bajie to distant cities to find food. On the first day, he went back empty-handed because he had no money. The next day, he returned empty-handed because he had no money. Wukong was furious: "Don't come back until you get your food back!" " "On the third night, Friar Sand happily carried a big bag of rice and left a lot of money. Wukong was overjoyed and asked, "Where's Pig? "

Friar Sand immediately cried sadly, "Brother, forgive me! There are so many of us, only the second brother can sell 16 yuan a catty. ...

4. Several disciples arrived in a big city, where Wukong lent, Friar Sand made the bed, and Bajie went out for a walk. In the evening, Bajie returned empty-handed. What did the Tang Priest ask? Bajie said that he was detained by the traffic police. Tang Priest asked why? Bajie said it farted. Tang Priest said that if you fart, you won't stay? Bajie said that the police said that people were holding a green Olympics and its exhaust gas exceeded the standard. ...

When Wukong came back begging, he found that Master had disappeared, and Friar Sand and Bajie were crying on the ground. Where's master? Bajie said he lost it. Wukong said to find it! Friar Sand said that he had looked everywhere, but there was nothing. Wukong looked around again, but still couldn't find it. A few people are very worried. Suddenly Wukong asked Master if the mortgage had been paid this month. Friar Sand said no. Have you paid the road maintenance fee? Friar Sand said no. Wukong said wash and sleep. Master can't escape There are banks and traffic police!

6. The Tang Priest and his disciples passed through the Lion Camel Ridge, and the lion spirit caught Tang Priest. Wukong tried his best to defeat the lion spirit and was about to kill him. Suddenly Manjusri Bodhisattva came and said that the lion essence was his mount, so he took the lion essence away. Wukong cursed him. Bajie advised him: Forget it, big brother, he is a leading driver and a civil servant.

7. When the Tang Priest and his disciples arrived at the West Gate, they saw 500 arhats coming out with their luggage on their backs. Why do they ask? The arhats sighed and said, you don't know, in a few days, the new labor law will be implemented, and we temporary workers are all laid off. What about Tang Priest and Bodhisattva? Lohan said they also had a hard time. In order to avoid the new labor law, Xitian forced them to sign contracts with dispatching companies, and then third-party companies sent them to work in Xitian. ...

8. Tang Priest and others learned from the scriptures and made meritorious deeds, named Buddha. Several people happily went to the Western Heaven to look for a house. A few days later, they came back disappointed. Tang Priest said that my brothers had better go home, because the price in western paradise is too high, and we can't afford the down payment. Didn't Friar Sand say that I had heard of affordable housing? Why don't we ask Wukong's silly brother, the leader of the Western Heaven, who doesn't have a few relatives? Can it be our turn?

Bajie has been moping these days, staring at the moon in a daze at night. Wukong knew what was on his mind, and went to the Moon Palace for a visit at the weekend. When he came back, he said to Bajie, "My silly brother! I asked, China has launched a satellite, but no one has sent it to the moon yet. It is a machine. Why are you jealous? "

10. The Tang Priest took the scriptures and went behind Li See Shimin's back. Tang Priest said I was back. Li Shimin said, Oh, I have the Bible. Li Shimin said, Oh, put it there. The Tang Priest said, I have worked hard for several years before I can do such a big thing. Why are you unhappy? Do you think my travel expenses are high? Li Shimin took off her earphone and said, I downloaded your scripture in one day with BT. I knew computers were so powerful. Why did I ask you to go?