Stunning classic joke dizzy

Many people are popular because they can explain some phenomena in life in a humorous way, so you find jokes very popular because these sentences are always magical. Next, I carefully prepared a "shocking classic joke" for you. Welcome to watch!

1. It is the law of conservation of energy that once a female classmate cools down, his body temperature rises once.

2. wake up in the middle of the night to cover your roommate with a quilt and hide your merits and fame?

Last night at Wal-Mart, everyone was quietly waiting in line to pay, and a woman called to cut in front of me. Honey, how was your business trip? I am in the supermarket. Am I really in the supermarket? I immediately gave my sister a wink, and she shouted: Check out a guest! The one with two men and one woman! ? (@ 丫丫丫丫丫丫丫丫丫 OTZ Sifang Shuijun)

On the March, the general met a left-behind child and asked him with a smile. Son, do you want to get on the horse? The child rested her hands on her hips and replied stubbornly: I am not a child, I am a soldier. ? The general was amused by his cuteness and laughed. All right, soldier, what level? Why did you add some? What skills have you learned?

In the middle of class, the monitor fell asleep below. What did his deskmate whisper in his ear? Class is over? . The goods instantly stood up and shouted like chicken blood. Stand up? As a result, the last row of students stood up and shouted: goodbye, teacher! ?

6. My girlfriend called her boyfriend, and at the moment when the phone was connected, a word came out on the phone. Sorry, the number you dialed is busy, please redial later. As soon as my girlfriend heard it, she knew it was her boyfriend's voice. She didn't hang up and asked, Isn't there another sentence in English? The opposite side faltered:? Sorry, you. . Number .. . ?

7. Once, the new teacher saw A sleeping in class and taught A a lesson in front of the whole class. . . After the teacher left, he felt humiliated. In order to save his dignity, A disdainfully said: Newcomers don't know the rules They will be all right in a few days. ?

8. The medical student told me that he finally understood what life is worse than death. That is, the morgue has air conditioning, but their dormitory doesn't. (@ Duanyangqi _ Hanbao)

9. Don't say anything, just feel it ~

10. My cousin was dumped. I was worried that she would be unhappy, so I enlightened her on QQ. I asked:? Why did that boy break up with you? My cousin seems to be a sad girl. She seems too lazy to listen to my nagging. It took a long time to reply to me:? I don't know, I don't know. ? Then QQ went offline, hiding resentment and hate. At this moment, I suddenly realized the true meaning of the original Martian text. . .

1 1. A college student in Chongqing fell on the playground today and was finally identified as a third-degree burn by the school hospital. Well, how hot is it today? . .

12. At the station, Lu Yu was wearing a white vest with a tiger tattooed on his arm, smoking a cigarette. He looked fierce and suddenly made a hullabaloo about while chatting on the phone. I'll kill you? Scared me, he gave me a white look and continued to yell at the phone? Fuck, I made pork bone soup and roast goose. Your mother forced me to work overtime! ? Only then did he find that he was carrying several bags of vegetables in his other hand and suddenly felt a little cute.

13. Teacher: Why didn't you finish your homework? Student: The power is out; Teacher: What did you do yesterday? Student: Watching TV; Teacher: What do you think about the lack of electricity? Student: light candles to see; Teacher: You're dead!

14. I went hiking during a short holiday and met a family of three. The child was naughty and had to take a dangerous road. And his mother said, don't go there. What if you roll down and hit someone? There is such a mother. After listening, she really has internal injuries.

15. The goddess is lovelorn and asks Xiao Li to drink together. The goddess kept crying and crying in the bar, and Xiao Li couldn't stand it. Need to comfort you? The goddess looked at him and nodded. Xiao Li picked up the glass, took a sip of the wine, suddenly stood up and kissed the goddess. The goddess was shocked at that time, and it took a long time to remember to push him away. What are you doing? ? I feed you. ? Poof ~ That's it, Xiao Li is in love.

My wife's signature on QQ reads: Dear, if I do anything bad, wrong or not in place, you must tell me. Don't take it to heart. I won't change it anyway. Don't hold you back. ...

2. I received a text message from my ex-girlfriend on Dragon Boat Festival today. The content is actually very simple. My wife is not feeling well. I asked who this was, and I said, what is FB's ex-girlfriend? Honey, can you ask quickly? Why is it called FB? I tugged at my foreign language and said? First love, first drop of blood? . The wife was silent for two seconds, and suddenly two big mouths came up. Fuck, then I'm not an idiot ?

When cooking soup at noon, I found a fly floating in the pot. My hand with a big spoon hung in the air in a dilemma: I fished it up, and later my colleagues didn't know that the soup had soaked flies, and I didn't know how disgusting it was to drink it; Don't fish, this flying soup is getting thicker and thicker, and it's getting old; Pour it out It's a pity to have such a big pot of soup. Finally, I put the spoon aside and left. Let's leave this problem to future generations who are smarter than us.

4. A wife who watches TV series online at home occupies the computer every day. Today, I spun the screen display in a rage, and then I went to work. When I came back, I saw her looking at the LCD screen sideways all afternoon. This IQ and persistence are really speechless.

5. Physics exam. A few scum let Xueba pass the answer. Out of the examination room, everyone asked Xueba: Why is one missing? Last question, won't you? Xueba calmly answered a sentence:? The first question won't

I met a Jianghu elder brother the other day. He tattooed a carp on each side of his calf, one red and one black in color, with the fish head on the left side facing up and the right side facing down. Strong figure, ferocious face, very scary. At dinner, someone finally asked about the meaning of tattoos. Big Brother lit a cigarette and said, "I was born in …" We all pricked up our ears, waiting for this doomed story. Big Brother smoked a cigarette and said, "I am Pisces" (@ Memory Vest)

7. A fire broke out in a hospital. After the firemen put out the fire, they reported the situation to the dean. The fire has been put out. We found three injured people in the basement. Two of them were saved by artificial respiration, and the other one was hopeless. ? Hearing this, the Dean fainted, and everyone began to save the Dean. Finally, the dean woke up and said, our basement is a morgue. . . ?

8. The priest's daughter is sleeping upstairs, crying. The priest went upstairs and asked her why she was crying. ? Dad, I'm scared. Not afraid, little baby. God is with you. Dad, why don't you come and be with God? I'll go down and be with Mom, okay?

9. At the graduation ceremony, the headmaster announced that the first student in the whole grade came to the stage to receive the prize, but after several consecutive shouts, the students slowly walked onto the stage. Later, the teacher asked the students, "What's the matter? Are you sick? Or did you not hear clearly just now? " The student replied, "No, I'm afraid other students didn't hear you clearly."

10. The kindergarten teacher is asking the children questions. After asking one question, ask the next one, but a child keeps holding his hand high! When it was finally the child's turn, he put his hand down. The teacher asked: You waited so long, why did you put your hand down when it was your turn? The child replied: it's too late, it's already finished.

1 1. All-inclusive wool stockings are necessary for women to prevent sexual harassment in summer.

12. I went shopping with my girlfriend to buy clothes today. After entering a women's clothing store, I sat on the sofa. At this moment, I saw a six or seven-year-old shota running around. He suddenly ran to the door of the fitting room and shouted: It's time to witness the miracle! The curtain in the fitting room was lifted at once.

13. A man and a woman were married for half a year, and the woman insisted on drinking red wine for four months. One day, I asked the man, "Everyone says that drinking red wine is good for beauty. Do you think I am getting younger and younger? " ? Are you going to be a girl? M: I think I am talking about IQ. You can go to kindergarten in two months.

14. The reason why you can see a woman's masculinity is because she doesn't like you at all. . .

15. Today, I took my four-year-old daughter to see the pantomime Cinderella. She asked me: Mom, what is a stepmother? I said stepmother. After watching it for a while, my daughter said to me with tears in her eyes: Mom, how can this stepmother be worse than you?

Shocking classic jokes (selected articles) 1. Fage's talk: Today, I specially decorated my home very romantically, and the sofa was filled with roses. Take a picture with your girlfriend on the sofa. . My girlfriend is breaking up with me now. . Shit, I forgot to pull out the thorn on the rose. . I silently made up a knife: Did it leak?

When Chinese people come to America, they seem to like to do several things: buy a pornographic magazine. Go to the driving range to play with guns. Holding a sign in front of the White House shouting: Obama steps down. Log on to Google and search for China's forbidden words. Go to outlets to buy clothes. Visiting a famous school found that there was not even a decent school gate. Try to download songs in China. Did a bad thing and said a word.

There is a widow with a net worth of hundreds of millions. She is nearly sixty years old, but she still has charm and looks much younger than her actual age. Later, she married a handsome man, who only had. ? How can he marry you when you are so different in age? Asked the widow's best friend. ? I lied about my age. ? Replied the widow. ? You said you only had? The friend asked. ? Wrong. ? The widow said, I lied to him that I had! ?

Just saw a scraping accident, two car owners were calmly discussing the reasons and compensation, and the two next to them fought excitedly. The reason why they fought turned out to be an argument when discussing who was fully responsible, and then they fought. Now the two car owners are ignoring the car, and they are fighting. . .

5.？ Sometimes I suddenly hear the news that someone is in love with someone, just like hearing the news that Meng Po and Yan are in love. ? What do you mean? Only God knows how they got together. ? (@ Summer)

6. Classmate A: This word was written by Xin Qiji. How do I know? Sunday. ?

7. A primary school girl, laughed at by her classmates because of her breast development, went home and cried to her mother. Her mother comforted her: Never mind, they laugh at you for two years at most, and you can laugh at them for at least twenty years later! ?

As soon as the bell rang, the students rushed out of the school. On the way to the Internet cafe, two students stood out. Because the two students rushed to the front. Suddenly, one of the students fell down and rolled on the ground twice, with blood all over his forehead. Another student stopped and turned to help him. Who knows, the fallen student rudely shook off his hand and shouted at him: let go of me! Go and start the machine. ..

9. It is said that the zongzi eaten by astronauts is sweet. The sweet pie said: As the first zongzi to enter outer space, it determines the standard of the future cosmic zongzi. The salty school retorted: this means that sweet zongzi was unearthed, and you don't understand. [

10. Mother and daughter watch Journey to the West together. Why does the Monkey King pass out every time he plays blame? The daughter thought about it and said that it has bad breath because it hasn't brushed its teeth for 500 years! Mom said that if you don't brush your teeth, you will have bad breath. ?

1 1. In addition to various skills, repetition is more important. Look at your children. He usually paints Weibo, doesn't he? Then you change his Weibo password into words every two days, such as ichthyology, Crytoscope and so on. He wants to lose once on the computer, once on the mobile client and once on the iPad. See, within a month, he can definitely quit Weibo!

12. There are gun battles and brotherhood. A dangerous cartoon ~

13. Just saw a scraping accident, two car owners were calmly discussing the reasons and compensation, and the two neighbors became lively. The reason for their fight turned out to be that they had an argument when discussing who was fully responsible, and then they fought. Now the two car owners have no concern for the car, and they are playing hot. . .

14. The girl promised her boyfriend to go abroad and got married, and the boy's phone messages never stopped. When the girl had a high fever, he was very anxious. The girl got her master's degree for more than a year, but she married someone else. The girl said to him: Your love moved me! But when I walked out of the classroom on a snowy day and was shivering with cold, it was my husband's car that stopped in front of me in time. ? He said helplessly: Is that why you want to marry my driver? ! ?