A joke that makes people happy in an instant

1. If 1 a man calls you back after a game, remember that this kind of person is a pit and never play with him.

2. When girls go to worship Buddha, they must remember: no makeup! If it succeeds, the Bodhisattva will protect you, and I'm afraid she won't find you!

When I was shopping, the security guard at the door called me, "Wait a minute, what's in your bulging clothes?" I lifted my coat angrily and shouted, "it's meat, it's meat!" My own. "

4. "What's your attitude towards your predecessor?" "I wish him infertility and a full house of children."

After getting up today, I said to my husband: I want to make up. These idiots came to a sentence: that's not makeup, it's transformation.

6. Life is like a cold, cold and hot. There is no panacea that can be cured immediately, but it is not fatal.

7. If you eat less than one meal every day, you can save a lot of money over time, which can be saved for treating stomach diseases later.

8. The world is really small. I always meet people I want to see on purpose when I'm not wearing makeup. I don't know what to do. I meet my ex hastily, no disguised date, and no makeup to meet my rival in love.

9. If you can't find someone, don't always complain, but think more about your own reasons. Maybe it's because you are too kind to everyone.

10. My life goal is to have my own house in Beijing when I am 3 10. Now I am halfway to my goal: 10 years old.

1 1. When you are lonely, just open your wallet and have a look, and your heart will be balanced in an instant. At least I have a wallet, and there is nothing in it!

12. Violence can't solve any problems. Why don't we sit down calmly and praise me for an hour?

13. Time will make you understand that you can't wait for anything but takeout, bus and express delivery.

14. Every time someone attacks me, I think there is something wrong with this person. He can still lose his temper at such a lovely me, speechless.

15. If you lower the ideal standard of choosing a spouse slightly, you will find that those boys who are a little worse than the ideal type are not interested in you.

16. My living conditions can be roughly divided into four categories: eating too much, sleeping too much, thinking too much and spending too much.

17. Men may cheat you, and girlfriends may betray you, but not in math, just not.

18. I want to live like Bajie, but I am under the pressure like Wukong, but I only have the ability like Friar Sand, and I can still hear the nagging like Tang Priest from time to time.

19. When you are thin, beautiful, have something in your head and your wallet is full of money you earned, what's more, this month, the whole world will treat you better.

20. Why do you buy clothes every year and have nothing to wear every year? Because you have more temperament every year, last year's clothes don't deserve you this year.

2 1. When you are in a bad mood, tell yourself while eating: It doesn't matter, I am the fattest.

22. When I was a child, I was called a turtle grandson by my grandmother. When I grow up, I am called a rabbit. Now I'm single dog. My life is simply an animal history!

23. We are all children of Jianghu, so we should help each other in the same boat. Let me know who has no money in the future, and I can tell you how I live without it.

24. In a person's life, three points are doomed, seven points depend on hard work, and the remaining 90 points depend on parents.