Ipartment 1, 2 classic quotations from Ceng Xiaoxian

"Listener friends, the good man is me, and I am-Ceng Xiaoxian." (Signboard slogan ...)

Hu Yifei: "Zhan Bo and I used to be conjoined babies. Before the age of two, our brains grew together. "

Ceng Xiaoxian: "Yes, and then the doctor gave all his brains to Zhan Bo with a sharp knife." (... that hurts enough ~ ~)

Ceng Xiaoxian: "We received a special letter from the founder of our apartment."

Zhan Bo (extremely depressed): "How did you kill someone (founder) again?" Zhan Bo is a simple and good boy. ...

Xian: I am not a casual person.

Faye: You are not human. (~ ~ This is even worse ...)

"I won't fall down twice in the same place!"

"Of course, green turtles all land on all fours. Let it fall for me. " (... fortunately, Xiaoxian finally got lost ...)

Ceng Xiaoxian: "Narnia sanatorium, the treatment effect is good, you don't get bored, go to bed early, 20% reward guests, and spend less money. During the national promotion period, the broken price is only 998, and you will be sent to hospital immediately. I will also receive a kitchen knife with eight stars and eight arrows, and the effect is good. (Finally Xiaoxian takes out a golden finger) (~ ~ ~ It's really shocking =).

Fairy: Arrow told Lili that she lost her mother during her trip to the South Pole last year, and now she wants to order Sun Nan's "Come Back Soon" for you. (Haha ~ ~ This is funny enough ...)

Passerby: I fell in love with my colleague.

Passerby: But I didn't tell him.

Passerby: I told my colleague Hao.

Passerby: Hao promised not to tell anyone.

Passerby: But my colleague Ade told me.

Passerby: A Hao secretly told another colleague, Alin.

Passerby: Alin is familiar with Archie's ex-girlfriend Allen again.

Passerby: I'm afraid Alin will tell Allen.

Passerby: Then Allen went back and told A Zhi.

Passerby: Then I'm embarrassed.

Passerby: Fortunately, Allen is in love with Ade now.

Passerby: So I went to Ade to help me solve this problem.

Passerby: Ed told me that Allen and he had broken up.

Passerby: He is dating Alin now. Let me find Arlene.

Passerby: But Alin told me that A Hao actually said nothing to him.

Passerby: Now I'm dizzy. Who should I trust?

Ceng Xiaoxian: Huh?

Passerby: I'm talking about A Zhi, not Ou. He is my colleague from another department.

Passerby: A Ou is Alin's younger brother.

Passerby: But I can't tell him that the person I like is the ex-boyfriend of your brother's girlfriend.

Passerby: This will make the relationship more chaotic.

Ceng Xiaoxian: A-choo!

Passerby: t?

Passerby: How do you know that there is another colleague named T in our company?

Passerby: He bears a grudge against Alin, probably because he has a crush on Allen.

Passerby: But T and A Hao have a good relationship.

Fairy's imagination: honey, drink milk, drink milk, drink, why don't you drink! Sharapova, why are you crying again? I told you, I don't know where your mother is, Albania or Algeria. God knows, with your real father. C Ronaldo, get down here and don't treat Qi Dan like a horse! Ali, you take Ayumi Hamasaki out to play. Is the refrigerator a place to hide and seek? ! I'm gonna hit you. Why did Beckham pee on the balcony downstairs? ! And you, did you eat my sleeping pills as candy again, Jordan! (= = It's all backwards ~ ~)

Lisa: If I interview him, it will waste my time. If I don't interview him, he will pester me, which will waste more time! ! ! I finally understand what "the meanest person is invincible!" " "(Xiaoxian was too easy to deal with this" queen-class "boss at first ~ ~ but it turned cold ...)

I'm dead. I have something to burn. (~ ~ sweat)

Yifei ~ Xiaofeifei ~ ~ Feifei Feifei ~ ~ (... haha ~ ~ Is there such a girl ...)

Wan Yu: Handsome was cut? ! Why would anyone call that name? I guess this person must be ugly in reality!

Fairy: This person is me! （......)

Make chocolate ...

Yifei: I'll let you eat first, or I'll mass-produce it ... so Xiaoxian ~ ~

I have thought of all the advertising words for you. ...

Lufei brand milk powder ~ After drinking it, my waist doesn't hurt, my legs don't hurt or even my heart doesn't jump ~ (spray it with his body language ~ ~)

Breakup declaration

Fairy: Imagine that you are sitting next to her, and then she is joking with you without knowing anything. Then you speak, and she collapses, and then she cries, and then they hug each other and cry their eyes out. Finally, you have to tell her that we can't, so you'd better buy a cucumber!

Zi Qiao: This is a normal breakup procedure, but it will never happen to you.

Fairy: Why?

Zi Qiao: Because she is Laura, have you ever seen a person tied to a boat get seasick? So I think this should be the case. You talk to her, she looks at you quietly, you break down, and then you cry. Then she pulled you in her arms and said righteously, stop crying and wash and sleep! I have to work tomorrow! Don't be full and talk nonsense there!

Wan Yu and Zhan Bo: Agreed! (~ ~ ~ This is very sweaty and speechless ~ ~)

Fairy: Are you sure you saw it clearly this time?

Meijia: Of course! It has a hard shell and six legs, just like a cockroach!

Guan Gu: And he has the characteristics of a mouse, with gray hair and a long tail.

Fairy: Uh, wait, wait, what is it? Cockroaches or rats?

Meijia: After our research and certification, it is a cockroach and mouse!

Fairy: What! ?

Guan Gu: It can also be called Xiao Qiang the Mouse.

Fairy: You mean it's a mouse, but its name is Xiao Qiang? !

Meijia: No! It is a hybrid of two creatures.

Guan Gu: Er ... All-round mutant!

Fairy: That's ridiculous. How do mammals and insects blend together?

Guan Gu: We can't find any other reasonable explanation.

Meijia: It's possible. A drunken cockroach met a mouse who had just been lovelorn, and then they just .......

Fairy: Oh, it's possible that a drunken ant met a lovelorn elephant, and the ant got pregnant with the elephant's child! (~ ~ Xiaoxian's humor is very cold and shocking ...)

You can walk around in my world, but you are not allowed to run around in my world. (~ ~ well said! ! )

Xiaoxian turned and left the theater. ...

Guangu: Easy to lose your mind (Shanghai dialect)

Yifei: Sawders Nirvana ("I see" in Japanese) (Khan! )

Fairy: Don't you think this number and 1 14 are a bit absurd? (... said Zhanbo ~ ~)

Yifei: As the saying goes, beauty is in the eye of the lover, so what about beauty?

Ceng Xiaoxian: Eye drops! (... jokes ...)

Hello, everyone, it's me, I'm your new little saint and big friend!

(It's what Xiaoxian said when he first appeared on TV ~ ~ Others are dizzy ...)

A hundred people have a hundred opinions, and you can't satisfy all of them, because not all of them are human (expression of Xiaoxian ~ ~).

Wan Yu: He said he was a director.

Ceng Xiaoxian: This is ridiculous. Now someone's surname is Taiwan. It took a while to react ~ ~

In the car. . Yifei, Zhanbo, Ziqiao and Xiaoxian. .

Xiaoxian said, there are 3 to 4.5 men swimming in our car.

Everyone asked: Why?

Xiaoxian: One Philippines counts as two, Zi Qiao and I count as one, and Zhanbo counts as half.

Zhan Q: What about 4.5? .

Fairy: Yifei sometimes becomes a woman.

..... (Xiao Xian was beaten)

Yifei: How was the performance?

Fairy: Great, great, indescribable and incomparable.

Wan Yu: Really?

Fairy: It's fake (he is a real man ~ ~ he doesn't flatter his friends! )

My whole soul has been sublimated, and now I feel that my soul is much more noble than you dissolute and confused guys (~ ~ Of course, he is also a batting practice sometimes ~ ~)

You really have a panoramic view here-the unanimous feeling when everyone saw Xiaoxian's new home (~ ~ I was impressed ...)

Hello, I'm Hu Hansan back! ! (... endless again ...)

People are afraid of famous pigs and strong, and dead mice are not afraid of cold! (~ ~ ~ and so on and "ah! I pulled my achilles tendon "~ ~)

Zhanbo told Ceng Xiaoxian that your ruins are being rebuilt and your battlefield is being reopened. Your life is being reshaped and your soul is being reborn.

Wan Yu: Your high school math is being retaken, and your parents are getting remarried. (... spray ~ ~ ~)

I have 52 minutes, 30 kilometers from the TV station. Help me figure out how to run. After a series of numbers …

Zi Qiao: Congratulations on equating the world record of 9.6 seconds for Jamaican blacks! (~ ~ There are bad times ~ ~)

When he was hosting a radio program, he said, "Parents can't call their children rabbits because it is genetically bad for parents." (... correct ~! ! )

The bad review rate of hosting programs is 98% ....................................................................................................................................................................! )

Hu Yifei gave incense to his ancestors and told them that Zhanbo had finally become a man. Ceng Xiaoxian: You burn incense. Why do you bow to the photo of Jay Chou? (~ ~ ~ speechless)

Lisa: (pointing to Ceng Xiaoxian's face) It's not the software. You should change the monitor! (... Xiaoxian said she couldn't beat her ~ ~)

Chen Meijia: "Excuse me, are you the female director of the neighborhood committee of the subdistrict office apartment?"? "

Ceng Xiaoxian (angrily): "Vice Chairman!"

Chen Meijia: "Ah! Vice president ~ ~ He is no longer a priest. Can we live in an apartment? "

Ceng Xiaoxian: "Yes!"

Chen Meijia (excited): "Water and electricity are free, and the rent is halved? ! "

Ceng Xiaoxian: "Of course!"

Chen Meijia: "Ah! ~! ~ so handsome! I love you! "

Ceng Xiaoxian: "Wait a minute! Your boyfriend .................'s English is really good "(... what ~ ~)

Fairy: "Men's money will not go bad, and sows will become monsters in trees!" " "(this ~ ~ I am silent ..)

Zhanbo wants to buy deformed gold steel from Xiaoxian county and asks to meet and trade.

Xiaoxian won't say, face-to-face trading is not good.

Zhan Bo said: "I can cover my face, and you can cover your face!" " (~ ~ ~ Xiaoxian is speechless ~ ~)

Haha, I especially like watching ipartment ~

When can the third film be released? . . . . . . . .